Juliet's hand felt warm in my cold one and so were her eyes. I zoned out as I kept staring at them. She cleared her throat to make me return to my senses.
"you have cute eyes," I remarked. I watched as she blushed.
"I know. I have heard that a couple of times."
She nodded her head as she said those words. To make things less awkward, I offered to show her the study materials. From then onwards, we did almost everything together from studying to praying together. She was the first prayer partner I ever had. We also shared our meals. We went everywhere together and soon, our coursemates began to mistake us for fraternal twins. Wherever I went, she went, and vice versa. We also made more mutual friends and the closest one of them was a guy who often stared at me. He had dark eyes and his short hair was neatly carved into a low cut. He was just as quiet as I was but he had more friends. He usually sat three tables from my right and whenever I turned to my right side for whatever reason, we always had intense eye contact. When that happened, I always broke into a shy smile. Sometimes he smirked, other times he just kept staring. I always backed out of the stare-off first. Julie was the first to talk to him and so when I caught her walking to my table with him behind her, I panicked. I prayed she wasn't coming to talk to me. A part of me hoped they would turn and continue but, I knew that would not happen. Julie had a peculiar glint in her eyes as she focused on me and I knew she had wanted me to meet her new friend. I pretended to bury my face in my book but Julie snatched it away.
"Julie" I whined.
"Take a break. Your eyes might fall off from studying too much" she said as she closed the book and placed it under her arm. I tried not to make eye contact with the 'staring guy'
"why are you here anyway? aren't you supposed to be with Edward?" I asked.
Julie waved her hand. "Oh. I just can't seem to find him"
"I see." I regarded her with my eye as I briefly prayed that the rumors I heard about her boyfriend were not true because I wouldn't know how to tell her that the guy she loves is sleeping with one of her roommates.
"By the way" Juliet interrupted my thoughts. " Meet Timi"
"Hi" the staring guy extended his hand
"Hi," I replied as I shook his hand. Timi held my hand a moment longer than he was supposed to and he seemed to be reading into my soul. The genuine smile he gave was reflected in his eyes. It was warm, unlike his cold but soft palm.
"So Timi is having a hard time understanding one of the literature texts. I was hoping you could put him through?" Julie gave me a pleading look. I wondered how long she'd known this guy to be begging for private tutoring for him. But that's one thing about her. She would help anybody in need. If she couldn't, she would link them up with someone who could like she is doing now. I hadn't told her about the weird stares or zoned-out looks he gave me, so I couldn't blame her. However, my brows furrowed before I answered.
"erm, I don't think I am good with tutoring. Plus, I hardly understand the book myself."
Julie opened her mouth to speak, but Timi beat her to it.
"That's a lie" he stated calmly.
"How do you know" I attacked him.
"Relax baby girl. You don't need to lie. Just state it simply: I don't want to help you. period." Timi said as he pulled out a seat from a nearby desk and placed it beside me. I watched him lower himself unto it.
"Well, you are already seated. Might as well get it over with." I murmured.
"That's more like it." Timi flashed me another smile. Julie dropped my book on the table.
"I will be back in a jiffy." she turned on her heels and went to meet another one of her friends. I stared at her retreating form in worry.
"I can see you have heard about it too." Timi's voice interrupted my thoughts
"Heard about what?"
"Never mind" came his reply. But. I knew he was talking about Edward and his escapades.
After spending my entire break period lecturing Timi, we exchanged numbers and he bought me a cold drink since I skipped lunch. Not that I would have gone anyway but I liked the fact that he was considerate. He joined Julie and I and became like our twin brother. But it sometimes felt like he isolated Julie from our conversations and his handshake kept getting longer and his stares didn't stop.
For the rest of the program, however, Juliet often babied and spoiled me too as she was the older one. She being two years older than I was, gave me the push I needed. It meant I wasn't a hopeless case just yet. Julie was quite a hot girl and she had her fair share of attention from the males despite having a boyfriend. Yet, she was loyal while he was not. I, on the other hand, focused on getting the good grades I had promised my parents. I decided to turn a blind eye to Edward and I didn't tell Juliet about what I had heard. After all, I had no proof. Sometimes, I felt pangs of guilt for choosing to remain silent. Other times, I was just too preoccupied to care. All that bothered me was the thought of failing the exams.
Even Pop had that fear too because whenever I returned from lectures, he already had my schedule planned out. He was strict with me this time around and I didn't get any break whatsoever. I was pretty much grounded - not that I had a place to go anyway. All I did was study. Every day, I read for 7 hours straight. Yet, I kept a low profile in school and hardly joined in group discussions or presentations because I was afraid I would stammer before everyone was present as I had the disorder as a child and pre-teen. I avoided tutorials as well. I approached the examinations with dread.
Though I was ready to take the questions on, I feared that my bad luck would interfere and spoil things for me. I didn't think I could ace the exam successfully. I was already predicting my failure despite the amount of hard work I put in. I needed to believe in myself and my abilities but, I just couldn't. Even Julie who had already been through toxic roommates, a lying boyfriend, and an extorting brother believed she would end up with the good grades I wanted.
After the examinations, those in the halls of residence returned to their respective homes while the rest of us returned to our homes like every other day. While I waited for the results, I returned to my fashion program only to keep struggling. Even when I stayed up all night sewing, the stitches refused to turn out right and I could hear my boss' voice at the back of my head telling me to loosen the seams and start again.
At a point, I would break down and cry. I felt so frustrated and annoyed at myself. Again, I began to doubt if I was ever going to get anything right in life. The least I could do was to be able to acquire a skill if I couldn't solve math problems. Finally, the wait was over and the results were released. We resumed for the second semester on the same day we were to check our results. Julie checked mine alongside hers. I just couldn't muster the courage to do it myself. I had even begun to form an apology note to Pop in my head. Tears began to well up in my eyes. I suddenly felt the urge to poop and puke at the same time. My heart raced and I felt faint.