With the first semester examinations finally done, our A-level program coordinators immediately launched lectures for the second semester. We had just five months left to the final exam which would determine our fates.
After my excellent results, I became quite popular. Many of my coursemates asked me to tutor them privately and I also attracted the attention of not only the lecturers but a few of the males in the school. One of them was Toby from the science department. He was looking to study industrial chemistry at Uni Plus, he was a certified player and an intelligent one at that. Standing at 5 foot 9, he had a lean body and full lips.
He wasn't particularly attractive to me at first and Julie did not like him one bit. I cannot remember exactly how we started talking but, I knew we shared a forbidden kiss in one of the empty classrooms on a hot Friday. We had sat down to talk and I had made up my mind to tell him to buzz off. Somehow, what I had practiced over and over again in my head refused to come out of my mouth. Instead, his lips managed to find mine- twice. Even though it was not what I wanted, a weak part of me loved it.
It made me feel like I was worthy of kisses. I mean, someone still found me attractive, and I wasn't as ugly as I thought. The way his hands held my waist whenever we hugged and how he would lightly kiss my neck each time appealed to me. We weren't dating or anything and I did not have feelings for him in any way.
Tony tried to sweet-talk me into a relationship. He promised to be the sweet guy of my dreams and give me all the happiness in the world. I always humored him while secretly wishing that Daniel would one day ask me to be his girlfriend. I entertained one guy while wanting the other to hold me in his arms. It became so bad that whenever Toby touched me, I imagined him to be Daniel. Getting an increase in interest from the males, came with the struggle to maintain my study schedule.
Beatrice continued to pretend to be my friend and I only attended the tutorials to learn her secret study technique. Oftentimes, I played dumb and concealed the answers to some of the questions, so nobody would get ahead of me and become more intelligent. My logic was childish and stupid but, I didn't care. However, Beatrice did not relent in trying to prove that she was more intelligent than I was. She always jumped in to solve the questions.
Then, I took note of her language style and her mode of rendering the answers. Also, whenever I was asked a question in a general class, I played dumb and remained silent. The all-knowing Beatrice never disappointed me and as always she became the hero of the day, jumping in to attempt the question and flipping her braids as she did so.
A smirk always lifted my lips whenever that happened. Not only did I pretend to be simple-minded, but I also cooked up personal questions to ask Beatrice to solve them. I also stole her notes, study guide, and textbooks to understand the important points of each subject better. But, whenever she asked me personally for help on an assignment, I always gave the wrong explanations just so she could fail.
However, every time our scripts were returned, we always had the same score. From the corner of my eye, I could see her scowl at me each time that happened. As we were drawing to the end of our program, more relationships were made, others were broken and gossip flew around like air.
Rumors of girls being played made rounds and Toby was the villain of quite a number of the stories. I was not surprised at all because even I had caught him making out with a girl from my department. Cornering girls in empty classes seemed to be his specialty.
Julie told me that he also asked a couple of girls out around the same time he asked me out. We also heard of his numerous girlfriends, but I remained unfazed. Still, I entertained him. We shared intimate hugs, and he still kissed my neck and forehead. I also didn't confront him about the rumors; though he tried to pacify me by saying I was the only girl he wanted. Of course, I sat and listened to him rant. Sometimes, when I stared at him, I could find nothing attractive about him and I wondered how girls allowed themselves to be played by someone who was so average-looking.
The only reason I kept him was for my validation- to make me feel good about myself but I soon became bored. Plans to discard him began forming in my mind. I had talking stages with about four other side guys. Yes, I said side guys. I kept posting each one of them when it came to giving a definite reply but, I entertained their sweet messages and comforting hugs without feeling anything special for any one of them.
I made each feel like he was the only guy in my life while I only used them to convince myself that I was indeed pretty. They each confessed their love, ending their relationships thinking we would be able to start something but I never gave them a definite reply. Along the line, I cut them off because I became repulsed, again. My eyes were only for Daniel and as long as he didn't fully acknowledge my existence, his gender was going to suffer at my hands. I didn't care about the relationships that got broken because of me. As long as I proved to myself that I was capable of captivating them, I did not care one bit. The joy I derived from playing not one but seven different guys from school was immense. I was also careful to not have sex with any of them or use their money. However, they always offered to buy expensive gifts.
One of the newly - formed relationships that took place toward the end of my program was a rather one-sided affair with Stephen. Yes, I categorize it as one-sided because it was more of a flirtation on my side. So, Stephen was and still is an intelligent human. I say 'is' because what I thought would be a fling, blossomed into a relationship of some sort even after I gained admission to Uni.
He was a member of my class and I had noticed him a couple of times - even admired him for a brief moment. We began talking after one of the numerous study dates I attended came to an end. It was time to go home and he had asked to walk with me. We exchanged numbers and began chatting. Our discussions always began with school work but it ended on thoughts about the future. I wouldn't call him my type or someone I would have ended up dating but, somehow he tickled my fancy. He was very tall, polite, intelligent, sweet, helpful, considerate, and good-looking in his way. At least, I found the way he pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose to be attractive. We sometimes had lunch together. Other times, when I was too busy to come down for lunch, he always brought food up for me. He would hug me tightly and kiss my forehead with such reverence to make my heart flutter momentarily. I remember him stating clearly that he would love us to begin college together and end it together. He even had our life all planned out up to the stage of getting married and having kids. He also had a vlog and a business on the side. Above all, he was the loyal type.
Total boyfriend material but something in me wasn't quite content. I kept flirting with him, smiling with my eyes, tilting my head whenever I spoke, lowering my voice on purpose to have him lean closer to me, looking into his eyes till he backed out and I used the triangle trick on him over and over. He respected my wishes and didn't ask for sex or any type of intimacy aside from hugs and forehead kisses.
He wore his heart on his sleeve and it was evident in his eyes the extent to which he was willing to go for me. He even planned to introduce me to his family but I delayed for reasons known to you guys and Julie.
Simply put, I had not an iota of affection towards him. Alongside my continuous deception, was my desire to remain on top. I still stuck to my study schedule but I was a bit distracted this time around. In between reading, I would get texts from Stephen, Toby, and all the other guys. In the end, I spent more time replying to dirty texts than I did studying. Yet, I remained confident in my abilities. The excellent grades I had last semester, made me believe in myself this time around. However, the little belief I had built, came crashing down and my inferior self surfaced when the results of the final exams were released.