Chapter 7: Woes of Having an OverlyExtroverted Boss
Don't argue with your boss. Hear, understand, and ignore.
Yori had such high stress levels that no amount of blood pressure tablets would be able to calm her down.
The last seven days had been filled with nightmare-fuelled tripping, uncoordinated sweeping, stressing out about details as inconsequential as picking the correct kabsa recipe (there was one kabsa recipe in the entirety of Sunagakure no Sato), and her life flashing before her eyes.
No, honestly, every time Rasa-sama came to check on her work, her heart had this unbearable clenching session and her voice squeaked so high that even dogs wouldn't be able to hear it, and no amount of Nae-chan's pep talks actually helped. In fact, with Nae-chan cooking up conspiracy theories of the 'Yori is Rasa-sama's mistress' variety—even the notion of adultery frightened her, let alone the fact that Rasa-sama's wife was rumoured to be an actual demon—Yori would hazard a guess and say that Nae-chan was about as useful as a degree in juggling.
And Shingi had been the metaphorical lion at the prom party—absolutely unnecessary.
But yes, for the past week, Yori and Shingi and Nae had been working overtime to plan Rasa-sama's wedding. And by 'Yori and Shingi and Nae had been working overtime', what we really mean is that 'Yori was stressing even in her sleep, Nae was being, as mentioned before, as useful as a degree in juggling, and Shingi was too busy snogging her own reflection and being incompetent to actually have an effect in the grand scheme of things, whether she worked overtime or not'.
So yes, being the only person on the three-woman team that had, not only even the remotest idea of what a wedding should look like, but also the one whose head was on the chopping block, Yori was about ready to call it quits. And Yori, having been blind when she was Rose, really shouldn't have been in charge of colour coordination. She was going to die because of the sheer stupidity.
And by stupidity, she didn't mean her own, although there was plenty of that going around too.
They were currently deciding the colour scheme of the table covers and chairs, and it perfectly illustrates this dysfunctional team's dynamics.
"Yori-tan, what do you think?" Shingi drawled, as though crooning to her lover after having lots and lots of raunchy sex. "Pink or cherry?"
Yori tried for as polite as possible, under the circumstances. "Shingi-san, I don't care what colour lipstick you want to wear at the reception—at all. Can you pleasegive me the list of cloth suppliers?"
Nae giggled. Shingi pouted before saying, "I think cherry is better, ne Yori-tan?"
Yori, already at her limit after a week of minimal nightmare-fuelled sleep, said cuttingly, "Oh yeah, go for cherry! It really brings out the whore in you!"
Nae gasped and giggled, and Shingi took it as a compliment. "Yori-tan, you're too sweet! Cherry it is! Now, about that soon-to-be husband of yours—"
Yori rubbed her temples. "We've discussed this Shingi-san. Far more than we've discussed literally everything else. The day I marry Ikanago-san is the day hell freezes over!"
"So you mean there's a chance!" yelled Ikanago excitedly, his face plastered to the door in the hopes of listening in (and why he thought he would be invisible by sucking in his tummy when the door was made of glass, Yori would never know.)
Yori felt like smacking her head against the wall repeatedly, for the next millennia or so.
Really.
"I think you should go for frog-green and—" began Nae-chan, before Yori cut her off
"What colour palette are you looking at? Because Suna doesn't supply that colour!" screeched Yori hysterically, her head already spinning.
Nae pouted. "I thought it was a good idea…" she mumbled.
Yori remarked, her inner sass really coming out today. "Maybe you should stop thinking then; your brain can't handle the unusual workout."
Nae pouted again, and it took her a few minutes before she understood. By the time she had, Yori had decided that, you know what, traditional Suna colours of wine red and dusky brown it was—you could never go wrong with wine red and dusky brown.
Right?
Well, it doesn't matter what I pick, she though only semi-hysterically. Rasa-sama's due in the next ten minutes to veto anything I've decided on anyway.
And how right she was.
Yori had only just gotten Shingi to give her the list of potential cloth suppliers and finalised the budget for the lighting when the Sandaime Kazekage's protégé wafted into the room, the flamboyance making Yori really reconsider his sexuality. All three of the women abruptly stopped what they were doing and gave him a deep bow.
"How are the preparations going?" sneered Rasa-sama, the slave at the end of his question going without saying. Yori took no offence; she'd learnt that Rasa-sama's resting face was a sneer—he wasn't going out of his way to be rude to her.
"W-well, sir. Would…you like t-to—" she said, trembling slightly. Just because he wasn't being specifically rude didn't mean she wasn't scared stiff of the intimidating ponce.
"Yes. Give it here." he snapped, cutting off Yori's feeble syllables, which, you know, fair enough. Yori would cut herself off too if she had had the ability.
She hurriedly shuffled through the dozens of bits of papers and handed him the budget, the colour scheme, and the nearly-finalised list of entertainers at the reception.
Rasa-sama went over the papers with a scrutinising glare that Yori had long since categorised as his 'concentration face'.
"The colour scheme's a bit dull. Fix it." he snapped quickly, sharply handing the paper he'd been perusing to her.
Yori gulped. "W-what would y-you like instead…sir?"
Rasa-sama glared at her. "That's your job. What am I paying you for?!"
Yori bowed her head again, and Nae trembled next to her. Yori placed a calming hand on the younger girl's shoulder, smiling at her reassuringly. Nae immediately felt better and thought, Even though Nee-san is the wimpiest person I know, she's very reliable.
Yori, of course, would never know this about herself, because she was too scared.
Of what is entirely irrelevant.
Rasa-sama looked over the next sheet of paper and muttered, "Maybe frog-green and puce…spice it up with a bit of golden and grey."
Yori's heart was still beating a mile a minute, but her hands were steady as she said, as firmly as her light and tinkling voice would allow, "No."
Rasa-sama snapped his gaze to her, seeing the tiny girl staring at the ground. "Did you say something?"
Yori nodded her head, trying to minimise the amount of timidity it exuded. "Rasa-sama, that's…that's…the worsti-idea for a-a colour scheme I have…have ever heard."
Rasa-sama's cheeks flushed as he registered what he said, his embarrassment causing him to stammer, "Well—well, whatever! Go with that—shut up!"
Yori jumped, startled. She cautiously looked up at her boss' reddening face, and then she smiled at him. He blushed even brighter, biting out, "What?!"
It was like all fear had left Yori, seeing someone else flustered. It always made her feel braver, because she knew how painful it was to be scared—she never wanted anyone else to feel like that.
"It's okay Rasa-sama. It's why you hired us, ne? I'm sure Karura-sama would prefer something more patriotic though, just like you. Bright colours doesn't mean better." she said softly, the smile lighting up her light blue eyes.
Rasa-sama, even without realising, calmed down, his embarrassment leaving him.
"Yes. Right."
After that, he went back to perusing the sheaf of papers she'd given him, muttering now and again as Yori dutifully took notes. Shingi discreetly took out a nail file and started filing her perfectly filed nails, and Nae brought them all some tea.
He'd gotten to the last paper, his eyes running through the lines of large, baby-like handwriting, when he burst out, "Who's this Hotaru guy with 'the big dick'?! Why would I 'love to feel his shaft'!?"
Yori's teeth started chattering, her hands began trembling and her eyes widened inexorably. She slowly turned her head to Shingi, who'd covered her mouth to stop her gleeful grin from showing.
Rasa-sama glared at Yori.
Yori began twiddling her thumbs. Of course Shingi-san is going to get me killed! This is what I get for not paying attention to her babbling about the clients she keeps trying to set me up with…he's going to kill me…
"Ummm…"
Shingi gulped down her giggles and said in her typical husky fashion, "It's Yori-tan's boyfriend, Boss. He's…very openabout these things."
Rasa-sama, instead of doing the normal thing and firing her on the spot for the inappropriateness of it all, looked at her with barely hidden concern. "Yori-san, you should break up with this…Hotaru. I don't like the sound of him."
Yori's lower lip trembled. He continued, "I mean, you should go out with someone that will make you smile in a way you never knew you could, not someone who even mentioning is going to make you start crying."
Yori nodded in humiliation.
"Now," Rasa-sama continued, quite into this. "I know many eligible men for you. There's Ikanago-san, for one, and he's—"
Yori mentally smashed her head against a wall repeatedly.
Without even knowing it, she'd managed to acquire yet another extroverted weirdo that 'only had her best interests at heart'.
It's unfortunate that everything would be ruined if I made her death brutally satisfying.she hissed mentally, thinking of Shingi and her persistent meddling as she sat in the same position for the next half hour, being given a brief summary of every single eligible acquaintance her boss had. Joy.
It's unfortunate that everything would be ruined if I made his death brutally satisfying.thought Sasori passively, as he manoeuvred his Female puppet across enemy terrain.
From his vantage point, he could make out a few Iwa-nin alighting onto the soft dirt-packed ground, yelling at Female puppet.
Just as I planned, he thought, smirking lazily.
He twitched his fingers minutely and the puppet tripped after he'd made its facial 'muscles' twitch. He was quite proud of how life-like this puppet had come out, and it was a balm to his artistic soul that it fooled everyone it came across.
He was really pleased with this puppet.
The Iwa-nin, just as he'd predicted because who could resist that child-like face when it looked scared?, helped her up, and then took her to their outpost.
Here's where it got tricky. He'd managed to convince them that Female puppet was mute and scared (the lack of proper clothing also had a huge part to play, he was sure, in the Iwa-nin letting their guard down), but now that it was in the enemy outpost, he couldn't see their location.
He twitched his fingers to slacken the puppet's posture and close its eyelids, feigning sleep. Of course, he had to keep minutely shifting his pinkie so as to mimic regulated breathing, but now was his time to strike.
The minute he felt his chakra strings stop extending further away from him, indicating that Female puppet had been put down onto presumably a bed, he triggered the scalp compartment (which, because it was covered by hair, was perfectly concealed from a scrutinising watcher) and it opened, releasing transparent knock-out gas of the lethal variety.
His unit waited (im)patiently for the next half hour, before moving into the outpost with gas masks on, where every last one of the Iwa-nin had been affected by the gas and most of them lay dying.
Sasori was quite pleased with his handiwork.
He followed his chakra strings to find that they'd placed his Female look-alike puppet on the softest bedding in the outpost. He smirked—clearly, Female's looks alone could win them the war.
Of course, his puppeteering genius was superior to even professional infiltrators, and Sasori was…immensely satisfied.
Four more outposts to go, and the intricacies would just keep getting more and more intriguingly simple.
Sasori, for the first time since he'd made his parents' puppets, patted himself on the back for a job well done.
Sasori used a foam-like material for the outer covering of the Yori puppet (he calls Yori Female in his head, so that's why it's Female puppet.) so that it would have the natural 'give' that normal human bodies have. He made puppet-Yori very life-like.
He's a genius like that. So what did you guys think of this chapter?