Chapter 8: Woes of Acquiring Cushion Thieves
'I'm allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out in handcuffs.'
Today was a very auspicious day, not least of all because Yori had woken up to a sober Papa Shin.
Yes, you read that right—Papa Shin was sober.
No, not even Yori could believe her eyes.
It had been a run-of-the-mill morning. She'd woken up and had had her obligatory two second freak out (Oh my God, I can see—!), then her two second obligatory gratitude session (to absolutely anyone that can hear me, thank you so much for letting me be able to see—!), then her five minute panicking at what disasters the day could wrought on her, and then finally got out of bed.
She had had, as delightfully rare as it was with the water rationing, a short, cool shower and donned her pale beige attire (really, the girl had absolutely no fashion sense, and her wardrobe was as dull as sand—and the colour of it too), and then started mentally cataloguing the contents of the kitchen and the amount of reserve toilet paper, tying her mousy brown hair up in its usual high ponytail.
This is where the deviation occurred.
Where previously she would reach the kitchen and either see her father plastered on the table or snoring away a hangover on the sofa, this time, he was humming happily as he set the table.
Yori felt like going back to bed, because this was—Papa Shin had never done this before! Not even when Mama Haruka had been alive and nagging!
She rubbed her eyes, before unfreezing herself and moving closer to the alien that had clearly possessed her Papa.
"Good morning Yori-chan! Papa couldn't find the cups to make any coffee, but Papa has put the kettle on the stove!" he called out cheerfully to his daughter of fourteen years, and Yori could practically feel this day going to shite.
"G-good…morning." she answered in fearful suspicion. Her watery blue eyes had narrowed at the imposter, and she looked distinctly like a betrayed puppy.
Papa Shin cooed at her expression and pinched her cheeks. "Yori-chan! You've gotten cuter! The boys will be flocking here by sunrise!"
This was the first time Yori had seen her father sober.
Now she knew his stupidity had no excuse.
A part of her hopes and expectations just shrivelled up and died.
"Papa…it's pastsunrise…" she muttered as delicately as possible, hoping she hadn't hurt his sensibilities. Papa Shin was an over-sensitive douche-baggy princess like that.
"Nonsense Yori-chan! If it was already past sunrise, Papa would have to be at work!" he laughed, patting Yori on the head like as though she couldn't tell time.
Yori paled. "Wait, Papa…have you not been going to work all these days?!" she exclaimed in horror.
Papa Shin brushed off her concerns. "Maa, Yori-chan, I'm going to work today, and that's all that matters, ne?"
Yori didn't bother to deign that with a response and just went to the stove, put a water to boil and took out the nearly-rotten vegetables, and tried to stop herself from bursting into tears.
She began chopping to prepare for lunch, her eyes watering even more than usual as she thought about the water bill, and the gas bill, and the Kazekage taxes, and her Papa's booze…
Papa doesn't have a job anymore…IS HE A MORON!? she thought, desperately trying to turn her despair into anger so that she could get through the day—Rasa-sama said he had a surprise waiting for her.
As she took out an egg for both their breakfasts (rationing was reallyhard on them, especially because they didn't fit into any of the welfare-receiving groups), she, not for the first time, contemplated homicide.
But she changed her mind.
Something about morals and what not.
She didn't like surprises…and Rasa-sama had proven time and time again that his main goal in life was to exceed all expectations.
Oh joy.
Sasori had returned to his sandy village at roughly six o'clock in the morning.
His eyes were half-lidded, his blood red hair was mussed up from the wind, and he was in desperate need of a shower—also, clothes shopping, because the various stains on his clothes were not going to come out with a good washing. The scrolls holding his puppets were an added weight that he was ready to shed, right along with every single fuck he'd ever given for anything.
But then…
For some bizarre reason, his legs moved away from his squad, moved away from the quickest route to his humble abode, and continued moving towards the Kazekage residence.
Perhaps it was sleep deprivation that caused him to do something so bizarrely unnecessary and out of character.
To this day, he still doesn't know why he did it.
He flipped onto a window sill as silently as a wraith, peaked through the window, and saw Female making breakfast.
She moved with a practised ease in the surprisingly spacious kitchen, and her shoulders were, unlike during previous analysis, hunched in what seemed to be frustration.
Sasori still doesn't know why he did it, because let's face it, do any of us know why we do stupid things we'll regret in the morning?
But he slipped into the house, scoffed impatiently at the lack of any traps to stop him (wasn't she the slightest bit concerned that she was a very juicy target for paedophiles?), snuck into the drawing room and began cleaning up.
It was strangely relaxing.
So relaxing in fact, that by the time he'd silently thrown away all the assorted week-old empty bottles, scrunched up tissue papers, scrolls to do with wedding planning and books to do with cooking, he felt ready to fall asleep on the rather unexpectedly comfortable sofa.
Female was busy cooking, and he was fairly certain she wouldn't notice…
He stole one of the cushions from her sofa and snuck out of the house.
He still doesn't know why he did it, but when he got home and went to his own bed, he placed the cushion under his head, and he went instantly to sleep.
The scent of vanilla, baby wipes and rotten tomatoes filtered through the air as he slept.
He'd never felt so comfortable in his room before…and he was sure it had nothing to do with Female's cushion.
Obviously.
Yori had 20/20 vision, but she frequently forgot to use it.
But her hearing was perhaps better than most dogs, with the way it was naturally enhanced, even without the genin level chakra she had flowing through her body—Papa, for all his incompetence, hadmade it to Chuunin after all—and so, when Sasori thought he was being sneaky-sneaky, Yori was staring at the back of his head in nothing short of abject horror.
W-what is Akasuna no Bloody Sasori doing in my house!? she thought with borderline hysteria.
She didn't pause in her cooking, worried that he'd notice if the background noise stopped—God knows she would. But she watched him silently clear away the drawing room, and steal a cushion, and leave through the window without giving her a second glance, and it was only after he'd left that she realised that the feeling of fear and wanting to cry at her Papa's stupidity had vanished completely.
For the first time in a long time, Yori laughed. Because Akasuna no Sasori had just stolen a cushion, and seeing him clean, something so normal, and insane, made him seem human. The mirth puffed out of her like tinkling crystals.
No one heard it, but if they had, they would have stopped and listened as though hearing a long forgotten lullaby.
Because Yori didn't really laugh, just like she didn't really smile, just like she didn't really speak her mind.
But Yori would someday.
Maybe.
Depends on how long she survives the baby carrots' invasion.
Shorter chapter, and I'm sorry for that, but I thought you guys deserved something for your wait…I had exams, so it was a bit difficult updating this month, but the updates will become more frequent soon, I promise! Thoughts on this chapter?