"I'm almost back!" Naruto shouts as he's giddily hopping in place. "I can see the walls! The walls! Finally!"
"Alright brat, calm down." Jiraya smiles down at his student. Today is the day, they've finally made it back to Konoha.
"I have so much to tell everyone!" Naruto is basically vibrating in energetic joy. "I should take them all out for ramen! That's a great idea! Then we can catch up and I can see Teuchi and Ayame too!"
"Ah. Right. So about that." Jiraya turns away from Naruto in shame.
"What about that?" Naruto gets serious for a moment. "If this has been some elaborate prank the entire time I will get revenge. You'll never see another bath house. Ever."
"NO!" Jiraya reels back in fear. "Nothing so severe! It's just you're not going to be staying in the village that long."
"What? I thought you were going on some long and dangerous mission?" Naruto questions. "Is it going to be short or something?"
"I am. It's also life threatening, don't forget that! But you're supposed to be out of the village. It's going to stay that way. You'll barely be here overnight."
"That sucks." Naruto shrugs. "But I can still take everyone out for dinner or something. Check in and say hi and all that."
"Yeah... you can't do that." Jiraya bluntly says.
"What?" Naruto seethes. "Why not?!"
"Kiddo, right now there are only three people who know you're coming back. Tsunade, me, and you. And only three others are going to be added to that list. Three very trustworthy people who will be your teammates. We're sneaking into Konoha, I'm dropping you off, you're getting a mission, you sleep for the night in a very safe place, then you leave on the mission. You don't have time to socialize and the fewer people who know that you were here the better. We can't afford to broadcast your location. You're progressing rapidly but you're not a match for a S-rank threat."
"Yeah well you're not a match for a S-rank threat!" Naruto throws an insult at his teacher.
"Uh... I am a S-rank threat?" Jiraya says in confusion. "Some S-rank shinobi aren't a threat to me, that's how good your sensei is. Or did you forget that Itachi Uchiha and Kisame Hoshigaki ran away when I showed up?"
"Hey look! I can make out the front gates!" Naruto points. "Look how pretty it is with the sunrise coming over the Hokage Monument. Konoha I've missed you!"
"Oh that reminds me." Jiraya snags the back of Naruto's shirt before the latter can run off towards the gates. "We're taking the backdoor."
"Wait there's a backdoor?" Naruto looks up at Jiraya in curiosity. "How come I've never heard about it?"
"Because you're still a gennin." Jiraya drags Naruto off the road to head to the secret entrance. "While I am one of the Legendary Sannin. I know about all the backdoors."
"There's more than one?"
"Kiddo we're shinobi. Of course there's more than one."
"Right. Stupid question."
Otogakure, Alvarcus's Lab
"Fuck me." I look over the mess that used to be my lab. "I should have made those assholes clean this up before Orochimaru and I had fun. Fuck! That was not fun! No. I didn't enjoy that. I will not become like him. I can't."
I'm lying to myself. I've reached a new low.
"I'm supposed to be a good guy." My head drops in shame. "How can I be a good guy when I've enjoyed... that? Who am I kidding, I haven't been a good guy for a while now. I'm in the gray zone and I'm teetering on the edge of dark."
I look out over my lab again and heave out a loud sigh.
"It's not going to clean itself." I roll up my sleeves. "I can berate myself as I work. Might as well do something productive."
"This is so COOL!" Naruto shouts down the long tunnel that he and Jiraya are in. "How long has this been here?"
"Since before you were born." Jiraya chuckles at Naruto's antics. It doesn't take much to impress him and he get so excited about the littlest of things. "Years before you were born."
"Can I use this whenever I want?" Naruto asks with stars in his eyes.
"Nope, both ends are blood sealed to specific people. If anyone who is not keyed in tries to open it they're in for a nasty surprise. I suppose I could add you to the list, since I did make the seals for it, but you're not ready for that kind of responsibility."
"Come on I'm totally ready for this!" Naruto tugs on one of Jiraya's sleeves.
"Naruto you put your shirt on backwards this morning." Jiraya bluntly says. "I had to point it out to you."
"That doesn't mean anything!" Naruto pleads. "Please? I won't tell a soul!"
"Fine!" Jiraya yanks his sleeve out of Naruto's grasp. "I'll add you to it!"
"YAY!" Naruto fist pumps in victory.
"When you're older." Jiraya smirks in victory as Naruto wilts.
Hokage's Office
"Hokage-sama?" A familiar mop of silver hair pokes into Tsunade's office. "You summoned me?"
"Yes." Tsunade looks up from her overflowing stacks of paperwork. "I did. Three hours ago."
"I overslept?" Kakashi offers weakly as he steps into the office.
"Ugh! You are lucky you're so damn good at what you do! No one else gives me the sass that you do!" Tsunade says in anger, but there's a hint of a smile on her face. After all, the day Kakashi shows up on time is the beginning of the Apocalypse.
"What can I say, it's one of my many talents." Kakashi stands before her desk. "So, what's going on? Konoha has stabilized from the invasion so this isn't you yelling at me to take missions."
"Correct. I have a task for you. Consider it comparable to a high A-rank mission." Tsunade tosses Kakashi a mission scroll. "You'll be going on that mission."
"High A-rank?" Kakashi snags the scroll and quickly browses it to understand the gist of the mission. "This is a C-rank. Barely at that, the only reason it is one is because it's out of the village."
"That's just your cover." Tsunade temples her fingers together. "Your true task is a bodyguard mission. The asset must be kept alive at all costs."
"Simple enough." Kakashi shrugs. "But I shouldn't be going on a C-rank mission. I need a better cover than just leading the team. If I still had a genning team then this wouldn't be an issue, but... yeah."
"Yes, you had a rough go with them. You lost one, another abandoned the village, and then there's Alvarcus." Tsunade snarls out the last name. "Enough said about him."
"Agreed. So what's my cover then?" Kakashi steers the conversation in another direction. Neither of them are eager to talk about Alvarcus. Each for their own reasons.
"It's rather simple really, you're not going to be leading the mission." Tsunade grins at Kakashi's gobsmacked look. "You'll be there in case something goes awry. After all, we can't let a fresh chunin lead such an important mission as his first one without some form of a safety net. Especially since he's one of our clan's heirs."
"You're sending Shikamaru to lead the mission?" Kakashi asks in surprise. "You do realize how much he's going to complain, right?"
"Of course, but you'll be there to motivate him." Tsunade smiles in contentment.
"Yes, I bet him and I will get along nicely. And who is the asset I'm supposed to keep alive?" Kakashi refers to the mission scroll for a brief moment. "This Yukie Fujikaze? She's the one this mission has as in need of an escort. There's not a hit out on her, is there? Assassin specialists are annoying to deal with."
"Aren't you one yourself?" Tsunade jabs at her jonin.
"I'm more of a jack of all trades." Kakashi offers up a lazy shrug.
"Good point. You do everything." Tsunade concedes. "Anyways, the asset isn't her. He's one of our own. It's Naruto Uzumaki."
"Oh." Kakashi says softly. "He's back?"
"For a bit." Tsunade confirms. "Should be here sometime today."
"You... do know about my connections to him, correct?" Kakashi hesitantly asks.
"Of course. It's another reason I picked you." Tsunade stares straight into Kakashi's eye. "You of all people will do everything in your power to protect the Fourth's Legacy."
Alvarcus's Lab
"Okay." I stretch out my back with my arm extended up towards the sky. "Whew! That felt great! Even if it was utterly pointless. I don't need to stretch. My back didn't even hurt."
I dust off my hands.
"Everything is cleaned up!" Sure enough the lab actually looks like a lab again. Well one for seals. Not like medical lab or anything crazy. "I think that means it's lunch time."
The Mess Hall
"I wonder what's on the menu today?" I mumble to myself as I open the door to the Mess Hall.
"All hail the Prince of Sound!"
The sudden noise startles me and I reflexively flinch away from it. Then I take in what made that racket, or rather who. It's three people, three of the most stupid morons I've ever met. Sakon, Jirobo and Kidomaru are all flanking the door. But that's not enough for them. They're standing at attention. Their backs are straight, they're wearing clean celebratory clothes and they have the balls to be saluting me.
"HAIL, THE PRINCE OF SOUND!" The entire fucking room calls out.
I slowly look around the entire room. From the saluting Sound Three to the smiling and laughing masses inside the Mess Hall. Everyone is staring straight at me.
I mechanically step backwards out of the Mess Hall and softly shut the door.
"Five. Four. Three. Two. One." I chant to myself before hesitantly opening the door again.
"All hail the Prince of Sound!" The Sound Three call out and they salute me again. So I'm not imagining this.
"HAIL, THE PRINCE OF SOUND!" The entire fucking room calls out again.
As I look over the sea of shinobi before me I can't help but be impressed. For the Sound Three to get this many people involved in pranking me, well it's not a small feat. The coordination and timing alone could not have been easy to get down. I bet that they even had a few practice runs to make sure everyone had it down. It's a prank worthy of my praise.
But they made the mistake of pranking me of all people. Revenge will be sweet, so very sweet.
"Did you see his face!" Jirobo says between laughs.
"Priceless!" Sakon could only force out the one word.
"There's no topping this one!" Kidomaru pats himself on the back with one of his many arms.
"You three have a five second head start." I frostily say to the three masterminds behind the latest prank at my expense. "Five."
The Sound Three sprint out of the room while laughing like the assholes they are.
Instead of immediately giving chase I calmly walk over to the buffet and load up a plate.
"You're not going to chase them?" A familiar voice says from way too close to me.
"Hello Maiko. I'm going to let them stew for a bit, I came here for food. And have you heard of personal space?" We're practically rubbing shoulders.
"We were much closer last time." She purrs. "Anyways I wanted to ask you some things about that conversation."
"Alright. I can't promise I will answer but I will at least hear them." I lead us over to an empty section of the table. Instead of sitting across from me, like a normal person would, she sits down right next to me. Literally. She's even leaning into me. "Can you not right now? I'm trying to eat."
"But you're so warm." She somehow scoots closer to me.
"You're not the first to say that." I pick up a piece of toast and butter it. So what if it's lunch, I'll eat what I want to!
"Aw damn! I wanted to be your first! Who'd you lose it to?" She pouts. Her ears droop a little and her tail curls up on itself.
"I'm sorry?" I turn my head towards her while keeping my eyes on my toast. I want a perfect spread of butter, it makes it so much better. "Lose what?"
"You're virginity silly!" She playfully swats me on the arm. "Who was the lucky lady?"
Someone further down the table chokes on a mouthful of food. Another spits out their drink all over their friend and all conversation around us stops.
"Maiko." I take a bite of my perfectly buttered toast. "This is neither the time nor the place to discuss that. Let me correct my last statement, there is no time and place to discuss that. I barely know you, I'm not going to tell you anything private like that."
"Can't blame a girl for trying?" She shrugs in an 'aw shucks' manner. "But if you don't want to talk about private things then what was with that whole speech? That seemed pretty personal."
"Not compared to what you tried to do." I snort out. "I don't know if I'm happy or mad that Karin showed up."
"I know I'm mad!" Maiko hisses. Literally. She really commits to her act.
"Anyways," I cut in before she can say more. Like asking if I want to resume where we left off. Honestly I have no idea how I would respond to that. "that speech was as much for you as it was for me."
"Really? We hardly talked about you." She points out and she's not wrong.
"True but your situation is surprisingly similar to mine, just less severe." Dammit I'm out of toast. "I wasn't trying to convince just you. I was trying to convince myself too. Convince myself that even with all of the things I've had happen to me I'm still human. Even if I've been experimented on three times I'm still human. So it wasn't just for you back then. I didn't necessarily say those words to make a difference in your life. I said them for me because I guarantee my life is way more fucked up than yours. I figured that if I can convince you that you're human then I can eventually convince myself that I'm one too."
But that ship has come and gone. There's no way that I can ever convince myself that I'm not a monster now. Even if I somehow drag myself out of the darkness a part of me will always remember what I am. Deep down a part of me will forever be a monster.
"Ouch." Maiko winces in sympathy and a wave of pity surges through everyone who has been listening in on our conversation. "Three times?"
"Yep." I nonchalantly say. "I want more toast. I knew I should have gotten more. But I got the last of the butter. I suppose I could use jelly or jam but it's not the same. Maybe I could raid the kitchen? I bet they have some."
"But you're his son!" Maiko yells.
"And?" I drawl out. "Did you think that would magically exempt me from his experiments?"
"Yes!" Maiko has slid away from me in shock. She's moved to get a better look at my face to gauge my reactions. "I figured he did one on you from our talk before but three? How could he do that to his own child?"
"To Orochimaru-sama everything and everyone is replaceable." I begin to explain as the entire room falls silent. Except for the sound of my voice there is no noise at all, even the cooks in the kitchens have stopped to listen. "To him there's nothing that can't be replaced, it's just how difficult it will be for him to replace it. Kunai are easily replaceable but chakra conductive kunai aren't, so they're more valuable. You'll try harder to save a chakra conductive kunai because it's value is higher than a normal one, it's the same premise."
Everyone within hearing range, which for shinobi is a very long distance, is riveted to my words. This is the first major public insight to who I am and my history. I'm still an unknown to almost everyone, including the girl who is annoying me by invading my personal space.
Unfortunately for them I'm going to be intentionally vague so it isn't the best look at my past.
"When I was younger my 'value' was low. Very low, so low that he put me through an experiment that no one else has ever lived through. But I survived it and suddenly my value increased. Then I became more skilled, another increase in value. Then he began to personally train me, increasing my value even further. I've only increased my value over time, it's to the point that he values me above all else. I think."
I might be the one person he considers irreplaceable.
There will always be another body he can take. There will always be more shinobi willing to pledge themselves to him. There will always be more test subjects he can gather. There will always be another location he can set up a base.
But there will never be another me.
"What all has he done to you?" Maiko softly asks. "You've never said exactly what happened."
"I know, I did that on purpose. I don't like talking about them." It's likely that everyone here has already seen the Jiongu, I did use it publicly inside this very place not too long ago, but they don't know exactly how I got it. Sure they probably guessed it was Orochimaru but I'm not going to confirm it. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have finished eating. I've got to get back to my lab, I'm finally starting a project that I've been putting off for a while."
I rise up and make my way out of the still silent room. Maiko didn't say goodbye, she didn't follow me either. She just sat there looking at me in a surprising mixture of pity and awe.
It's for the best she didn't follow me. I'm going to start making a prototype's prototype of the seal for the sword.