The Hokage's Office
"You summoned me, Hokage-sama?" Shikamaru Nara lazily drawls out in boredom even though he's standing before Konoha's leader.
"I did." Tsunade does a once over of the chunin. His vest and clothes are crinkled, his eyes are droopy – more droopy than usual for a Nara – and there's a surprising amount of grass on him. Not just his feet but his entire back. "You were napping outside, weren't you?"
"I was." Shikamaru easily confirms. "Can we make this quick? I want to get back to it. There's nothing like sleeping under the sun, it's so warm."
"This is going to suck for you then." Tsunade tosses him a mission scroll and he raises his arm just enough to catch it. "You're going to the Land of Snow. Warmth is a luxury there."
"Have I pissed you off or something?" Shikamaru complains as he speed reads the mission scroll. "Escort mission for an actress going into possible hostile territory. Right. Who's the team leader?"
"You." Tsunade takes great pleasure in watching the chunin's eyes widen.
"But I can't... oh." Shikamaru sags in reluctant acceptance. "Right. I'm a chunin. I was hoping you forgot since you've let me stick with my team until now."
"You're wearing the vest." She dully points out. "Anyways since this is your first mission as team leader I've lined up someone with some experience to accompany you, a jonin. For this mission he'll be your underling unless things get messy, then he'll take charge. You'll have a safety net, so to speak."
"Oh that makes this so much easier." Shikamaru sags in relief. "Who is he?"
"You can come in now." Tsunade calls out.
"Yo." Kakashi walks into the room and gives Shikamaru a wave.
"Whoa." Shikamaru's eyes dart between the two others in the room. "How the hell can you spare him for this?"
"Technically I'm on leave. I'm just bored so I figured why not go on a nice easy mission where I don't have to lead for a change?" Kakashi explains. He pulled that cover story out of thin air.
"So that's where Alvarcus got it from." Shikamaru mutter to himself. "Anyways, you're basically only going to step in if something goes wrong?"
"Yep!" Kakashi gives Shikamaru an eye smile. "Thanks for the easy paycheck."
"You're welcome." Shikamaru sarcastically replies. "Can I pick the other members?"
"We've lined up one more for you." Tsunade says. "But I don't see why you can't pick the last one. As long as they're not needed anywhere else."
SLAM
The door to the Hokage's office flies open and smacks into the wall.
"HOKAGE-SAMA!" A terrified voice shouts. "Please I need a mission! Any mission! Just get me away from her!"
"Ino what the hell are you wearing?" Tsunade demands and explanation.
Ino's attire has drastically changed from what she normally wears. She's the first of the gennin to switch into their Shippuden style and her bottom half shows that. She's wearing a purple skirt with added slits for maneuverability and skintight black shorts beneath that. She has protective mesh on both her elbows and her knees and the standard black shinobi footwear. But that's where her normal attire ends, she's wearing a deep purple trench coat and her arms are holding it closed.
"Are... are you wearing anything under that?" Tsunade asks the question that everyone is thinking.
"She wouldn't let me!" Ino starts to tear up. "She said it was for training and forced me into this!"
"Ino!" Anko calls out in a sing song voice. "Where are you?"
"Hide me!" Ino pleads as she dives behind the Hokage's desk.
"I know that you're excited to learn my trick but I recommend walking before you run! You wouldn't want to give everyone an eyeful." Anko skips into the office with a predatory grin on her face. "Hello everyone, have any of you seen a gennin in a custom made purple trench coat in here? I seem to have misplaced her."
"We're in the middle of a mission briefing." Tsunade pointedly looks at Anko. "One you're not going on."
"Tsunade your knight in shining armor has returned!" Jiraya bursts into the room and strikes a gallant pose. "How about a kiss to welcome me back?"
"Yeah there's no way that's going to work." Naruto walks past Jiraya to enter the office.
"Naruto?" Several voices call out. One suspiciously comes from behind Tsunade's desk.
"Who the hell is Naruto?" Anko looks at the orange boy and something clicks. "You're the one I cut during the second exam!"
"AH!" Naruto shouts as he points at Anko. "You're the crazy kunai lady!"
"You two have the worst timing." Tsunade sighs and rubs her temples.
"Oh no!" Naruto turns to Tsunade with fear in his eyes. "She's not coming with, right? Please say she's not!"
"Everyone in the room will be going on the mission." Tsunade growls in anger. "Since my office is apparently no longer a private place and you all barged in here you get to go too!"
A whine comes from behind the desk.
"All of you idiots saw Naruto here so you've got to go with. I can't risk one of you letting slip that he was here and will be returning shortly. So here's how this is going to work. Shikamaru!"
"Yes!" Shikamaru straightens up at the authoritative tone his Kage is using.
"You're team leader. This is your mission. Don't screw it up." Her intense gaze shifts to the next person. "Kakashi!"
"Hm?" Kakashi lazily grunts. He's been yelled at much more severely than this by numerous people, including Tsunade herself.
"You're around to step in if shit goes wrong. Otherwise differ to Shikamaru." Tsunade's glare jumps to the next victim. "Anko!"
"Yes Ma'am!" Anko stands at attention.
"You're just along for the ride because you heard too much. Listen to the team leader." Tsunade's eyes soften a bit for the next shinobi. "Naruto!"
"Here!" Naruto excitedly says. "What do I get to do? Do I get a cool job?"
"No. You're going to treat this like any normal mission."
"Lame." Naruto says to himself. "I wanted a cool job."
"Ino!" Tsunade moves onto the next person.
"Y-yes?" Ino stands up from behind the desk. She's still firmly hugging herself to keep the coat closed.
"Same as Naruto. This is your punishment for busting in here. Have fun." Tsunade shoves her over to the rest of the group.
"I knew you were around here somewhere!" Anko throws an arm over Ino's shoulders. "And we're going on the same mission now! You can test the things I've taught you and I'll be there to watch!"
"I don't wanna." Ino cries in defeat. "I don't wanna go anymore."
"What about me Tsuande-chan?" Jiraya giggles lecherously as he walks up to the Hokage and leans his cheek outwards. Then he taps it. "I didn't get that kiss yet."
WHAM
Tsunade punched Jiraya in the face with so much force that he sailed through the air. Thankfully there was a bookcase that caught him. The bookcase didn't survive.
While lying in a pile of books and splintered wood he flashes everyone a thumbs up. "Worth it!"
"OUT!" Tsunade shouts. "ALL OF YOU OUT!"
Southern Base, Just outside Alvarcus's Lab
"Dude, what's gotten into Maiko recently?" Sora asks his two other teammates.
"You mean how she's been going off on her own an awful lot lately?" Seiji asks for clarification.
"Yeah that! What's up with that?" Sora asks.
"I don't actually know." Seiji admits. "Though there has been an interesting rumor going around."
"Hm?" Katsuo grunts out. He's a man of few words.
"Apparently someone is hitting on Alvarcus. Orochimaru's kid." Seiji informs his teammates. "Like hardcore hitting on."
"You don't think..." Sora trails off.
"That's why I brought you two down here." Seiji reveals. "I want to ask Alvarcus about it. See what his intentions are towards our teammate. Maybe threaten him a little if we have to."
"You do realize he can kill us in seconds, right?" Sora points out. "He wouldn't even get in trouble."
"I'd like to see him try." Katsuo grips one of his many blades eagerly. "I want to test myself against him. See if he's as good as everyone is saying."
"That makes one of us." Sora bluntly says to his dumb teammate. "So... who is going to knock?"
All three males look at the closed door to Alvarcus's lab.
"I can." Seiji says. "It was my idea so I'll -"
Two things happen in the next instant. The first isn't too unusual for a base full of shinobi but where it happened is. An explosion so loud and so strong that it shakes the floor came from inside the lab. The next thing to happen is very strange even by shinobi standards. A body sized blur crashes through the door – reducing it to splinters in the process – and slams into the other side of the hallway so hard it goes through that wall too.
" - knock?" Seiji finishes his sentence while everyone is staring at the new hole in the wall.
"Ow." Alvarcus's voice comes from underneath the rubble. He sounds... less than pleased. He rises up from the rubble and dusts himself off. Upon closer observation the three shinobi see that it's not just dust coming off of him, he's smoking from whatever explosion happened. "So that didn't work. This is starting to piss me off."
"Let's come back later." Seiji says to his teammates. Neither of them oppose his idea.
Hokage's Office
"When I said get out that included you." Tsunade growls at the one person who didn't leave her office like she ordered. He's also one of the few people she respects and trusts above all others. Even if he's a pervert. "What do you want Jiraya?"
"I have information on the Akatsuki. New information." Jiraya seriously says, the time for jokes is over. "I've found someone willing to feed me information about them."
"Finally." Tsunade's shoulders sag in minute relief. "What have you learned so far?"
"There are currently nine members." Jiraya says the exact same thing as the letter he received.
"Currently?" Tsunade brings up.
"I thought that was a strange thing to specify too." Jiraya sends Tsunade a smile. Even if he's the spymaster that does not mean that she's a slouch. "Turns out there used to be ten but one of their members left and hasn't been replaced yet. Something about leaving with a specific item that they need to give to the next member. I think that was it, my contact got vague in that part."
"Anything else to add?"
"No." Jiraya replies. "Not yet at least. I'm working on getting more. It was a struggle to get that much, I don't know how often I'll get information from my contact."
"Good." Tsunade turns even more serious. "Let me know when you do. Now get out of here, don't you have a mission to do?"
"Life threatening! Why does everyone keep forgetting to add that? It's a life threatening mission!"
Alvarcus's Lab
"That is it!" I roar at the infernal seal before me. It failed. It failed horribly, not even a single part of the intricate seal worked. For the thirty seventh time in a row. I've gone through thirty seven different designs and not even a single part of one worked. "You absolute piece of maggot infested shit! I have had enough!"
I sweep an arm across the tabletop knocking everything to the ground. Many scrolls fall to the floor, ink jars and sealing brushes fall too. Even the neat stacks of sealing tags I had stacked only just this morning are fluttering through the air on their way down.
"I am done! Done!" In my rage I flip over the table, just knocking the stuff off of it isn't enough. "I am tired of my life dumping heaping mounds of garbage all over me! I am fed up with everything going wrong! I don't fucking care anymore!"
"Oh hey kid that I pulled out of the clutches of Death himself, here have a kinjutsu!" I don't stop at one table, I sweep everything off of the next one too. "You lived? Guess what I'm adopting you in the most fucked up way possible! You don't want to come? Too bad, I'll just murder everyone you care about!"
"Hey Alvarcus it's your best friend!" This table goes flying too. "You know that dude that royally fucked up your entire existence? Yeah I'm going to go be his student! You should come with me! You don't want to? But I need you, just look at these puppy dog eyes!"
"Cue months of ongoing torture! Months!" I don't waste time sweeping the beakers off of the next table. I just flip it. "Hi Gina! CRACK! Bye Gina! Sup gate guard boy! Oh you're gone too! Hello Tayuya, you seem nice I think something might be going my way! Haha NOPE! I don't get to enjoy things in life!"
"Sup Tsunade, Kakashi and company! Guess what I'm going to do?" I've ran out of tables to flip. I'm stomping on them now, grinding them to a dust. "See every single one of my friends laying at my feet? The ones that I just beat into submission and baited them to try and force me back to Konoha because that's the only way I will go back? Yeah I'm going to threaten to kill them TO GO BACK WITH FUCKING OROCHIMARU!"
"I! Am! Done! With! This! Shit!" Each word is punctuated with a stomp. "And let's just sprinkle whatever the fuck is going on with the Akatsuki on top! Muffins?! They all like me? I've been asked to join if I become S-rank? THE FUCK IS THAT ALL ABOUT! I don't know what's going on anymore! And I don't fucking care enough to figure it out!"
I lash out with my fire whips and reduce a table to ashes. Stomping wasn't cutting it.
"And the worst fucking part is I'm not going to change a damn thing about my situation! I'm here by choice because I'm too soft to leave Sasuke behind by himself! I JUST WANT TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL!" I roar up at the ceiling.
"I want to be alone." My voice softens to a pathetic whine and I collapse to my knees. "No more Orochimaru. No more Otogakure. No more Konoha. No more schemes. No more torture. No more Akatsuki. No more Sasuke. I just want to be alone. Just for a bit. That's all I want. To get away from it all. I want to be alone."
Orochimaru's Lab
"OI!" I pound on the door. "You in here?"
"What?" Orochimaru hisses through the door. "I am busy!"
"That's fine I'll make this quick." I happily skip into the office like I didn't just have a meltdown.
I'm playing Orochimaru. I'm acting like I normally am because I need to get away. The easiest way to accomplish that is to go on a mission of sorts. I do that by acting like nothing is wrong and having Orochimaru give me permission. As much as I hate it I do need him to okay things like this.
For now.
So like I said I'm playing him. I'm going to manipulate him to get what I want.
"Please come in."Orochimaru sarcastically says. "It's not like I have other things to do, let me drop everything to help you."
"Hey you enjoyed it last time I came here." I point out. "We had a whole bonding moment. It was cute. If you ignore all the screams and blood splatters."
"Yes, we did enjoy ourselves." Orochimaru smiles fondly on his memories.
"Sorry but this visit isn't as... memorable? That doesn't sound right. Eventful? Unexpected? You know what just insert whatever word you want to there." I fumble around like usual. I'm acting completely normal.
Normal for me at least. Which is weird for most other people.
"Oh?" Orochimaru finally gives me his full attention. "And what do you want this time?"
"You said you found that material I need, right?"
Here's my play: He knows that I need this material for the sword. He himself is very interested in my progress on the sword so by making my request about the sword my chances of leaving for a bit skyrocket. I'm spinning this as me getting the material instead of me running away from my problems. If I straight up said that I want to get away from it all there's a zero percent chance he'd let me go.
"You said it was somewhere in the Land of Snow?"
"Yes it is." Orochimaru confirms. "It's very interesting, the Land of Snow has the biggest resource of chakra conductive metal out of every nation. But they have an even more rare and hard to come by metal, one that conducts no chakra. Ten years ago I... investigated the potential of acquiring this metal for myself, I was going to fashion a shield of some sort to block ninjutsu, but it became too risky. The reward just wasn't good enough to justify getting it. Especially since I simply didn't know if it could be done."
"But recently there has been rumors that a new state of the art chakra armor has come out, one unlike any other. The way it works is very ingenious, it's impractical to cover the entire body with metal that doesn't conduct chakra. Doubly so because that means that most if not all ninjutsu cannot be used. However the armor isn't made entirely out of the metal, it's mostly made of highly chakra conductive metal. What it does is channel the chakra into the non-conductive metal to render ninjutsu and genjutsu inert. It's currently worn by Doto Kazahana, the current leader of the Land of Snow."
"Cool. Can I go get it?" I bluntly ask like I'm asking to go outside for a walk instead of probably murdering another nation's leader for a piece of his armor. "Please?"
"You are aware that only the highest level of ninjutsu will work against him?" Orochimaru pins me in a stare. "You rely heavily on ninjutsu to win your fights."
"Yeah but that's because I choose to. My taijutsu is not something to dismiss." It's working. Orochimaru is seriously considering letting me go. Perfect. "All I have to do is touch him and it's over."
"What makes you say that?" Orochimaru asks in curiosity. "Do you think you can punch him so hard that he will be defeated with a single blow? He's wearing metal armor, it will not be easy to beat him to death."
"No." I hold out a hand palm up. Black threads pierce through my skin and wave back and forth in the wind. "The Jiongu isn't chakra. His armor won't do shit to it. It won't even be slowed down."
"Ah yes how could I forget that lovely test." Orochimaru smiles fondly in his memories again. "That was the first time you truly fought against me. The first time you didn't hold back."
"Yep." I chirp out. It was also the day I killed a child. That day marked the start of my descent into darkness. It was the turning point for me, the one where I truly committed a great evil for the first time. It is one of the worst days of my life. "So can I go?"
"On one condition." Orochimaru is going to let me go. Perfect. "There is a base on the border between the Land of Rice and the Land of Fire. This is not a Konoha outpost though, it is a Kusa one. Apparently the Kusakage didn't take well to us blowing him off and has allied with Konoha to 'keep Otogakure in line.' I want you to destroy it."
"When you say destroy are we talking paint the walls with blood or scorched earth?" Well it isn't part of my plan but I can work with this.
"I want overwhelming force. Make this a display of your power, Oto's power." Orochimaru decides after a moment of consideration. "I want to send a message. Leaving nothing left standing will accomplish that. Burn it to the ground."
"Alright." Simple enough. "Want me to let a few people get away so they can talk about it?"
"That would be a good idea, do that." Orochimaru orders. "Do you want a team to go with you?"
"Nah." I want to be alone. That's the whole point of this. "I got this, they'd just be in the way. I'll have to really cut loose to bring down an outpost. It's going to get intense. Plus I am my own team, don't forget about my minions of terror! They're freaking scary!"
"I suppose you are correct. I am not sending Sasuke on this mission with you so don't ask for him." Orochimaru's tone brokers no arguments.
"Fine by me." I shrug in indifference. I'm trying to escape from everything, that includes Sasuke.
"Hm." Orochimaru shoots me quizzical look. Oops. He might have caught on that something is up, I rarely do anything without Sasuke.
"Is it cool if I leave tonight?" I steer the conversation into a new direction. "I've got one hell of a run ahead of me. Plus I've got to find a boat to take me over to there, that's going to be interesting. Maybe I could water walk over the ocean? Not like I have stamina issues, I bet I could."
"Take the boat." Orochimaru demands. "There is a reason that shinobi don't run on the oceans, it's because the movement of large waves is extremely difficult to adjust for when water walking. The rougher a surface of water is the harder it is to stand on it."
"Huh. Didn't know that was a thing." I'll file that away under things to keep in mind. Maybe I can make a jutsu to disturb the surface tension of water to knock shinobi off of it? "So I'm going to go pack then head out. The sooner this is done the sooner I can work on the sword again."
"Alvarcus." Orochimaru calls out to me and I halt halfway out of the door. "I expect you back in two weeks or less."
"Two weeks?" This is great. I get two weeks to myself. I won't have to worry about anything. Just me and a mission. And potentially assassinating a leader of a nation. Wow I'm really fucked up, that's just now sinking in. Whatever I'll figure something out. I've never even heard of this Doto guy before, he can't be that big of a threat. "That's plenty of time."