Rain poured down from the sky and soaked into me, soaked into my bones. I should have been freezing, shaking from the cold but I felt nothing.
She was gone.
She had been right there, then, gone.
I stepped forward, water splashing up my legs, but a hand grabbed my wrist.
"Lachlan!"
It was Aron.
"Where is she?" I asked. I didn't turn but continued to look out into the rain trying to find the shape of a little girl.
"I don't know," Aron replied. His voice was hard and emotionless. "The tech department are looking up the number plate now. I'm still reviewing the security footage." He gave my arm a little tug. "Come inside," he added. This time his voice was not quite so wooden.
I shook my head. "Moira's already taken her away, there's no point looking around here." I pulled away from him and began towards the parking lot of the university.
"Lachlan." Aron grabbed for me again, but I yanked my arm away and turned to face him.
"You..." I began then stopped. He was soaked through, just like me, and the gash down his arm was bleeding into the rain. The red seemed to stain my vision. "Your arm..."
Aron gave me a lopsided grin and held out his other hand. "I'll drive."
--
I lay down two layers of towels and blankets on the front seats before we got in. Hopefully they would make cleaning up easier later. Aron turned on the engine and started the heater then silently drove us out of the parking lot.
My van was just a normal van, no wheels or fittings, so Aron had to drive slowly down the flooded roads.
I looked at the dashboard. The digital clock by the radio blinked. One A.M.
Less than two hours had passed since Moira Chung had said she was waiting downstairs, less than two hours since she and another guy had grabbed Millie from right next to me.
I looked over at Aron. There was still blood on his arm but I couldn't tell if the wound itself was still bleeding.
I knew the chances of us running into Millie were next to zero. I knew that Aron was only doing this to placate me, placate my selfish desire to be of use, to try to do something to rid myself of the guilt.
But it was useless.
The road winded through the mountains and we were coming up to a little hillock with some trees and a rest stop. I reached over and tapped Aron's hand.
"Stop here," I said.
He glanced at me then wordlessly obeyed, parking us under a tree. The hammer of the rain became more of an uneven patter.
I opened the glove box in front of me and pulled out my small first-aid kit. I had another in the back but this would have to do for now.
"Give me your arm," I said.
Aron did as he was told.
"How did you get this?" I asked as I carefully wound the bandage around the dressing.
"Scraped it on the door frame when I was chasing that guy," replied Aron.
"Before or after you jumped down the stairs?"
"After."
I finished bandaging his wound. The blood hadn't hardened at all and there was some on the towels now.
"Was it planned?" I asked, but I felt I already knew the answer.
"Yes," was Aron's simple reply. "I haven't finished all the footage but you can tell from just that portion that they had rehearsed things and knew what they were doing."
One to distract, one to grab, two escape routes to a waiting vehicle and the third conspirator.
"Do you think Professor Zheng is involved?" I asked. If he was, then there was another question I needed but dreaded to ask.
"Don't know," Aron replied. "I can see it being either way. We'll know more once we get him to the police station and question him." He slowed as we descended through a rive that had formed across the road. "But I don't think Paili Kai is involved."
The tension in my chest disappeared. "Why?" I asked.
"Don't know," he said. "Just a feeling. He doesn't seem the type."
What kind of reasoning was that? I thought, but didn't say aloud. "I hope you're right," I mumbled.
"Lachlan." Aron turned to face me and even leaned a little over the gearbox to make sure he had my full attention. "You're not to blame for this."
My breath caught in my throat. Then I laughed.
"How am I not?" I asked, my voice full of mirth. "I asked Kai to find someone interested in aliens, I brought her here, I… I was supposed to look after her, yet…"
"Lachlan, you didn't kidnap her. You're not her parent and you're not her guardian. You should be keeping her safe and looked after, but at the end of the day it isn't your legal responsibility."
"Fuck legal responsibility! I fucked up! I. Fucked. Up!" I slammed a fist on the dashboard. The whole van rattled. I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. What was I doing? Why the hell was I getting angry at Aron of all people? This was on me… This was all on me…
I bend forward and held my face in my hands.
"I just thought that maybe…" My voice teetered off and I didn't have the heart to continue.
A hand lay gently on my back.
"What happened with Jasmine?" Aron asked quietly. He rubbed his hand up and down my back.
I didn't want to talk about it. I'd decided back then to never talk about it, not ever.
"I realised she was cheating on me the week before my final exams, so I went out and got revenge on her by going out, getting drunk and… finding someone handsome to sleep with." My voice was like a ghost. "Then, the next day, I went back home and there she was, with my father. He said to my mum that… he'd found his true love and was leaving with her." I couldn't help laughing again. "Like father, like son, isn't it?"
Aron put an arm around me and pulled me up into an embrace. I should have pushed back, I didn't deserve this show of care, but I couldn't. I couldn't help sinking into that embrace, that warmth that listened then didn't push me away.
I don't remember falling asleep but when I woke, I was lying in the back of the van under a blanket. Next to me sat Aron. He was on his phone.
I made to sit up but he gently pushed me down again. "No news," he said and put away his phone, then he lay down again. "There was a sighting but they haven't confirmed it yet. They've sent a team out just in case."
I nodded and rubbed my eyes.
"What time is it?" I asked.
Aron checked. "Almost five."
I pushed myself up and sat against the inside of the van. Outside it was still raining outside but the strength of the storm had subsided and the lashing of the branches and leaves on the van was gentler.
There was a hollow feeling inside me, not an unpleasant one, but still unfamiliar. It made me feel… lighter, like I'd been carrying something around with me but now set it down.
"I was never really all that angry with Jasmine, even at the time," I said. "I was more angry at myself. When she confessed to me, I already knew that I didn't like girls, but I decided to go out with her anyway."
"Because you wanted to be 'normal'?" asked Aron, as perceptive as ever.
"Being gay isn't abnormal, but… you're right. I was hoping that maybe I was wrong, or maybe I could make it work out with her…"
"Were things bad back then? I mean, if you were gay?"
"Not… Well, it's better now, but when I think back, I don't think it was really that bad. I think I was just scared. It was a big unknown." It still was.
"That makes sense."
I looked at Aron. That was the first conclusive statement he'd said this whole time, his one judgement. That makes sense.
I shook my head.
"How are you real?" I asked, only half serious. "You're too perfect."
"I'm not," was Aron's expected reply. He sat up too and leaned against the seat in front.
"Have we switched places now?" I asked.
That got a smile out of him. "I told you, right, that I took one year longer to graduate from the police academy?"
I nodded. "Yeah."
"That's because… I nearly killed someone."
I felt a chill go down my spine but I managed to keep my mouth shut, to let him continue.
Aron brought a knee up and rested his chin on it. "The guy, my classmate, was just trying to rile me up, we hadn't gotten along since day one, but I just snapped. I don't really remember what happened but I saw the result afterwards. The guy had to stay in hospital for eight months, then bedrest for another five." Aron flexed his fingers. "I'm quite the fighter," he said with a small laugh.
"What happened next?"
"The academy investigated and suspended the guy for his behaviour. I wasn't the first he liked the pick on. They eventually expelled him."
"I mean to you."
"They sent me to therapy. When I got better, they let me come back."
I wanted to say something, but I had no idea what. His account was so simple but it struck a chord with me. Or perhaps it was because it was so stripped back of details and emotion.
Aron cleared his throat. "I can't tell you how you should view yourself, that's up to you," he said. "I don't have the right to tell you what to do. But… I want you to know that no matter what, I will always stand on your side."
"You can't promise that…" I murmured. The light coming in through the window had changed. Dawn was coming.
"I can," Aron said then took a deep breath. "I can, because I love you. Always have."