Chereads / Primed For Sin / Chapter 15 - 15. REASON TO SMILE

Chapter 15 - 15. REASON TO SMILE

Arianna

My legs were moving before my mind come up with an excuse to flee.

They way Vincent moved, looked, his body just turned me into a needy monster, the urge to be close to him, to comfort him was so intense that I ignored any warning bells in my mind and let my body control me.

His smile did things to me. He looked so confident, so relaxed in that sofa where he was sitting. His abs on full display for me with his inked skin, wide shoulders made him look even bigger than before.

Reaching him, he drowned the drink and put the glass on the little table by the sofa, not taking his eyes from me.

My leg touched his knee and for a second I hesitated. That was all he needed to grab me by the waist, pull me down into his lap, his masculine scent and still the aroma of whiskey hitting me all at once.

"Wasn't so hard, right?" He murmurs against my ear, his big hands caressing my back.

I inhaled sharply feeling our intimate position, with me straddling his thick muscular thighs, noticing his strength as he holds me against his bare torso.

My blush was visible when he chuckles," Don't be so shy now. It was your own choice to come to me," his voice low dragged the words more intimately.

"You demanded me to come so I didn't have a choice," I tried to reason him back.

Vincent kisses my ear," No. You could have walked away from me but you didn't. You came right to me and that makes me fucking happy, little rabbit," growling under his breath, the vibration goes straight to my groin but the familiar nickname makes me remember something.

"I have a question."

"Mm?" He hums, cupping my face in his hands," Yes, love? Ask me anything," his eyes are like honey.

"Why are you writing a book in my name?"

"Ah," he sighs and leans back to look at me better, giving me a small smile,"I forgot that you already snooped my laptop. Cheeky little girl," he chuckles.

I don't say anything. Just wait for him to explain.

Drumming his fingers against my thigh, he clicks his tongue, pondering whether to saying anything about the book as his eyes wander around my face, making me feel uncomfortable but not really in a bad way.

Dangerous thoughts. Dangerous thoughts.

"I was struggling before I met you. The hate and bad reviews about the things I wrote made me lose faith in myself to let my pain out. People had a way for twisting their words into beliefs and everyone starts to follow them, thinking they are smarter than someone broken, sick," he spits the words out in the end, the storm suddenly in his eyes raging his turmoil inside.

Wanting to comfort him, he didn't let me say anything when he continued," They started calling me, texting me about the things I probably did in order to write something so…gross, in their own words. Nagging my editor and publishing team to make me stop writing twisted stories about myself because they think I did all those things and told all my secrets on paper I write. They called me sick, saying I need mental health care. It's like we can't have imagination at all. I was a freak in their eyes out most of the time, not human with feelings or a past they don't know nothing of. I was feeling stuck in a loop for years but I still tried to write. My mother's voice in my head was that little hope to keep going."

His breathing now is heavier than before and my heart breaks for him because I knew what it felt like. When I started my paintings changing from happy colorful shapes, soon it turned into dark and sinister shapes to make everyone scream in horror.

His books made me cry and laugh, my inspiration for creating that darkness but in that moment I felt more free than I've ever felt in my entire life. It was a way to put my feelings into my art, to be free of those feelings I carry all the time. I felt more at peace with his words than people who pretended to be my friends when they started to put distance between us because they thought I'm not feeling well.

Only Nicole remained. My only best friend who still loves me for who I am. She doesn't judge me for things I want or want to do. She accepts me fully and for that I'm grateful for her being in my life.

Vincent's touch on my jaw breaks me out of my thoughts of myself when his thumb wipes something from my cheek.

"Why you're crying, baby?" I see tension in his muscles, like he doesn't understand the reason for it.

I didn't even realized that I'm crying.

Lifting my own hand, I brush my tears away and laugh awkwardly," I'm sorry. Something must've stuck in my eye."

He growls and lifts my chin with his knuckle," You're such a liar, sweetheart. You don't need to pity me if that's why you are trying to sympathize with me."

"Pity you?" I ask dumbfounded.

His golden eyes seem cold now, distant and it's hard to see what he's thinking when he drops his hands from me and just leans against the back of the sofa, running his long think fingers through his hair which now seem more messy and unkempt than usual when he styles it to perfection.

I trace his movements with utter obsession.

The longer I'm with him, the faster I'm longing for his attention and touch. It was maddening, dangerous.

He is still a criminal.

My body didn't seem to care about any of that.

Before I can stop myself, I drag my nail from his throat to his inked pecks, suddenly his body tensing from the action, his eyes watching me intensely. I stop above his heart, my palm resting against his skin and I'm surprised when his heartbeat runs wild enough to make anyone frightened.

My blue eyes lock on his golden ones.

"Are you nervous?" I tease.

Vincent clenches his jaw, the move grabbing my attention when my eyes zeroed into it, feeling like he will snap when that control breaks out of its cage.

Like a wild beast trapped inside a man's body and it wants to be let out to eat.

Grabbing me by the nape, I close my eyes when his breath fans across my face when he pulls me to him," Careful. Keep testing my limits, you will walk away from here if you are branded with my name on your lips once I slip my cock between that sassy mouth of yours," he warns seriously but there's heat in his eyes, daring me to keep teasing him.

His dirty words make my pussy clench over nothing when I grind my teeth to stop myself from grinding against him. I wasn't sure if I will protest this time if he continues what he stopped last time in my kitchen.

I wanted to challenge him, show him that I'm not some weak girl with no experience but his power which radiated from him made me weak enough to stand down.

Instead of urging him to do something about my ache between my legs, I sighed," I don't pity you. I know how it feels to be hated, judged for what you do and feel. It was you who inspired me to let myself free with the darkness. It made the pain and loneliness go away. I feel alive when absence of light dims my light for a little while. It makes me feel like myself, that I don't need to pretend. I know how that feels so don't assume I'm just being nice," I glare at him through my lashes," Your words light my heart in ways I've never thought of happening before. The pretense, the facade of being happy even in moments when I'm sad…it all goes away when that darkness takes my pain away," my eyes close from the feeling, remembering the times when I'm invested in my art but the feeling of this man, somehow made me feel the same.

Like I'm painting an image, dark and forbidden but the result always feels satisfying.

His heart beats even faster than possible when his hold on my hips tightened. His harsh breath is inevitable, like my words are hurting him in some way.

"You're really trying to kill me," he whispers, low and shakily.

Blinking my eyes open, his emotions are raw this time, like I opened some wound in his heart after confessing my secrets.

"No. If I did, you would be dead by now," I smile despite feeling vulnerable by the sudden change in the mood," Now tell me why you named your new book with my name."

Vincent exhales hard, dropping his head backwards, his adam apple bobbing in his throat by the way he swallows his thoughts.

I suddenly want to bite it but I surpass the urge.

"The first time you smiled after reading my book to know if it's worth a try, you looked like you've found a treasure when you eagerly rushed to buy my book so you can keep reading the rest of it. I followed you right out of the bookstore to see where you will go next and also wanting to keep an eye to any danger nearby so you can get home safely. You were so excited to read my book that you started to do just that while walking to the bus station ten minutes straight," his eyes lock on me now, the insanity of those blazing eyes almost knocking me off of his lap.

"I saw the way your eyes diminished, my words sucking your light out but when that moment passed, that light came back ten times stronger than it was. Your lips stretching into a wide embarrassing grin, you looked left and right to see if no one noticed you reading something so forbidden but you were so happy, it made me alive for the first time in my life. I wanted to keep that smile on your face all the time, to be your muse for your own pleasure. It made me who I am to this moment and I knew it was all thanks to you, I found my reason to be happy. To keep writing books just for you to enjoy them, to feel better."

All the breath rushed out from me.

I was the reason that he is happy now? So he can make me smile?

But then…

"Why didn't you just came up to me with a coffee or something when I was out? Why would you stalk me and scare me like that?"

"I'm sorry, love. I wasn't ready for you to see me yet. I hoped that you will like me knowing I'm the one who makes you feel better to get inspired by my words but on the other side, I guess, I was afraid that you will push me away. I was selfish, that's why I started sending your messages, pushing myself in your life so you don't have a choice but to accept me," he sounds guilty but not.

"Well, too late for that. You already have me trapped," rolling my eyes, his eyes flash.

"Are you regretting it?"

I think for a second, stretching my arms above my head, pretending that I'm not so sure about our situation anymore but the move makes his eyes drop lower and I see him staring at my chest where my breasts are pushed together, tempting him.

I bite my smile," I don't know. I need to think before I-" my words are cut short when Vincent suddenly moves.

Throwing my body on the sofa beneath his muscular half naked body, he climbs over me and cages me in his arms, looking down at me, the heat in his eyes burning me.

"You don't know?" His voice is low.

I shake my head.

"All right," he smirks," Then I guess I just need to help you decide."

"What do you mean-"

My flush spreads all over my body when he leans back on his haunches, his eyes between my legs. Before I can protest, his gaze darts over to me again.

"Take them off."