The first thing you must realise, Mr. Clarke, when I begin this tale is that it starts with me as the man I once was, and am not any more. By this same essence, despite my memories being intact from this time before, for the most part, I cannot recall my original name no matter how hard I try. And before you say anything this story holds the answer as to the rest of your questions including why I have not tried to find my original name…
For many years I was a researcher at Ludtown university studying a little known phenomenon that occasionally occurred in nature known as transmutation. It was a fascinating thing whereby when a certain amount of energy converges on a single atom from specific angles it somehow converts the atom into a separate base material altogether. If the atom was part of a solid or a liquid it would cause a chain reaction changing the base material altogether. My work was underfunded and highly theoretical as it was viewed as pseudoscience based on an unconfirmed phenomenon. There was only ever one person who ever listened to my theories with great interest. I'd known her a long time ago, we'd studied together when I was still a student but she had dropped out before I could admit how I felt about her.
Anyway, back on topic. one evening I was working in the space that my superiors claimed to be a laboratory despite it being quite obviously a repurposed mop cupboard, when there was a knock at the door. I assumed it was another rich student come to egg the 'stupid Doctor', I was wrong. When I opened the door a young lady stood there beaming up at me. She must've only been about 12, and was obviously from quite a wealthy family judging by her clothes.
"The young people's science seminar is in the great hall down the corridor" I quickly shut the door in her face and continued with my equations. Then there came another knock at the door which I frustratedly answered. It was the girl again. "And the toilet is on the other side of the great hall" I shut the door in her face again, I couldn't be interrupted, I almost had the answer to transmutation. Then again I'd almost had the answer for three years now following another 10 years of study before that. Once again for the third time a knock came at the door. "Please go away" I begged the girl "I'm really quite busy as you should be able to see"
She beamed again "are you doctor…"
"Yes why?" I answered more sourly than I intended which didn't seem to phase her in the slightest
"My name is Natalia Coldstone…"
"Why should I care" I thought to myself aloud
She continued unfazed by my rudeness "as I was saying my name is Natalia Coldstone, I find your work on transmutation absolutely fascinating. Your lectures on the impossibility of this event happening multiple times throughout history without there being some form of intervention from a higher power is inspired, and your understanding on the prismatic nature of the universe contributing to why said energy gets concentrated at those specific angles causing the phenomena…"
"What do you want?" I interrupted her again still wishing she'd go away and allow me to continue my failing work
"I want to know why you stopped publishing your lectures" she said
"I stopped publishing my lectures because I stopped lecturing"
"Why did you do that?"
"Please go away I've already had enough misery for the past 3 years and a reminder of my failure is not helping"
"But why did you stop lecturing?" She was very persistent "and why are you hanging out in a mop cupboard"
"If I tell you, will you go away?" I said exasperatedly. All she did was smile up at me. I sighed and opened the door just enough for her to see the blackboard with the equations on it. "I stopped lecturing because nobody was coming to my lectures and my funding was cut. Now I'm working out of an old mop closet. now please go away, I have work to do."
The girl looked incredibly shocked. "What about the funding we sent you? Haven't you been receiving it?"
"What funding?" I began to get more than a little pissed "is this some kind of joke, I haven't had proper funding for 3 years and I'm expecting a letter telling me I've been shut down any day now"
"Hm, that can't be right, do you mind if if I come in" she forced her way into the room and sat down on my chair with a puzzled look on her face "about a year ago my father gave your work £100 on my behest and received naught but a letter from the university thanking him for his contribution to the important work you were doing. There was then a gala in my father's honour for contributing to your work during which myself, him and my mother were told that you were unable to attend due to your important work and you couldn't be disturbed."
"Yeah I remember that gala, I wasn't invited. Apparently my work wasn't important enough to be in the presence of a Lord of the realm." I of course still believed this to be some kind of prank "this isn't very funny you know, it's not nice to pretend to be someone important's daughter even if it is for a prank" I pulled her up by her arm and shoved her out the door "tell whichever rich brat payed you that if they are going to prank me just drop another bucket of goo on my head, rather than dragging a poor kid into their sick jokes"
"But it's not a pra…" I shut the door in her face, I couldn't stand listening to another lie, and the thought that someone would try and convince me that I had someone invested in my work was sick. Nobody was interested in my work, that was obvious…
The next day I woke up on my desk to the sound of my blackboard being wheeled out of the room and a group of men collecting my paperwork "no you can't take that!" I tried to stop the men from taking the blackboard, but they knocked me to the floor in my groggy state and continued to move it from the room.
"Actually they can doctor…" it was the senior lecturer, he was a short, fat greasy little fellow who constantly stank of sour milk. His name was Muelde Kancar "your work has being seized by the university and you are being put on an indefinite leave of absence"
"I'm being fired?!" I was expecting this, just not so soon "please just give me a little more time…"
"You've had 13 years and your work has yielded nothing of any significance"
"What about this paperwork, or the equations, the theories, my work has had lots of significant things"
"No it hasn't, at least not in the eyes of the financial department and the chancellor."
"But…"
"No but's doctor." Kancar looked quite pleased at my demise, he was one of the main people who despised my work and saw it as a waste of resources. "Mr. Callaghan…" a particularly large gruff looking fellow came into the room "please escort doctor… off campus immediately" The man grabbed my arm and pulled me away but before he did Kancar handed me a leaflet "this leaflet contains some jobs that are good for those of your education and academic background" the man proceeded to continue dragging me away.
"Oh and one last thing, if you try and continue your work we will sue you." He laughed as I was pulled down the hallway.
When we reached the front gate I was roughly pushed off campus and the gate was slammed behind me. I looked down at the leaflet only to see it was the employment form for a particularly cheap fast food restaurant. I couldn't help but fall to my knees and cry. I was unemployed, and I'd lost my flat a month before, and had been sleeping at the university. I'd invested everything in my work to the point of selling most of my possessions. All I had was 3 shillings to my name that I found in my trouser pocket. I did the only thing I could in that situation. I walked to the nearest phone box and rang my mum. My mother was a wonderful and kind person. I asked if I could stay with her for a while and when she realised my situation she of course agreed. I would have to wait two and a half hours for cousin Frank to pick me up in his car from outside the university which was made worse by the baking summer sun beating down on me.
When Frank arrived I almost fainted into the car from heatstroke and dehydration. Frank was like a brother to me. His parents and my father died in the same car crash when we were both young so he came to live with me and my mum when we were five years old. Unlike me he was actually successful in what he did. He was an accountant and loved numbers and equations. Of course he didn't really understand scientific equations but basic maths and money were his mastery. We always used to race to see who could count Pi to the 100th decibel when we were young, those were good times. The journey was quiet, Frank tried to converse a couple of times but I just didn't feel like talking. When we reached Mum's house she was waiting in the front garden for us. I stumbled up the stone steps onto the front lawn and fell into my mother's arms weeping and just needing comfort…