'Ha' Penny's hamburgers'… that was the name of the place I was now working. It as you know, Mr. Clarke, is a popular fast food chain in Albion and the colonies but certainly not a job for a former university researcher. All day every day it was "may I take your order" or "have a wonderful meal".
I refused to take money off Mum or cousin Frank, so instead they would visit me at work, order food and then 'tip' generously. I would hardly call £5 a bloody tip, and mum was taking it out of her pension. Often I would sneak the money back into her purse when she wasn't looking at home.
Then one day after 6 months of working there I got a rather strange order. I thought nothing of it in that moment as everyone has different tastes. Although half a jar of pickled jalapeños and an entire pot of pepper corns is rather strange. When I delivered it to the table I noted one of the two men sitting there seemed familiar.
"Which one of you is having the burger" I asked.
"That would be me" said the familiar looking man with a thin smile pointing to the other man. The two men were sitting on the same side of the table. One was dressed in a very fancy velvet suit with a large blue jewel hung around his neck on a golden chain, he was thinning on top and kind of skinny. This was the one I found somewhat familiar. The other was a fat man with a bald head, in a black tailcoat with a blood red shirt. "Sit with us for a while" the thin man said.
"That's not my job. sorry I was just here to deliver the food" I smiled at him.
"I'll tip well believe me" he said pulling out a £50 note, causing everyone around us to stare. I immediately sat down on the seat across from him.
"what do you want?" I asked
"Are you doctor…" the bald man asked as the one wearing the blue jewel munched on his strange order.
"Yes I am… or at least I was…" I answered.
"My master would like for you to continue your work" the bald man said
I looked the men dead in the eyes "Even if I wanted to I can't…"
"Because the university stole your work, right, and will sue you if you try to do it elsewhere" the man with the blue jewel spoke with a mouth full of burger.
"Exactly" I replied.
The man chuckled nearly dropping a jalapeño "the university has been reprimanded for its past transgressions against you"
"Who even are you people?" I was really confused "is this some kind of joke"
"My daughter said that you thought the same thing when I sent her to check on your work"
"Daughter?" I was utterly confused, I had no idea what was going on.
"Come on out Natalia" when he said this the same girl who visited me the night before my expulsion from the university came up from under the table.
"Ok this is certainly some kind of cruel prank, I am not sitting here one more second" I proceeded to stand up and began to walk away when the bald man stepped in front of me.
"Sir you are currently in the presence of The Viscount Fredrick Coldstone of Direbrack, you have been a very difficult man to find and I would certainly appreciate you doing my master the courtesy of sitting and listening"
"Fredrick Coldstone?" I thought back to that gala just over a year and a half ago. 'Coldstone' where had I heard that before. Then I remembered where I had seen that man's face before. He was the Lord who the gala was for! His face was on the poster for the event that's where I'd seen him before. I quickly turned back to the man wearing the jewel only to see him wearing a noble crest on his lapel. No sane man would dare to impersonate a lord of the realm(lest they be harshly reprimanded) , so either this man had escaped from the local mental institution or much more likely… upon the realisation that I was in the presence of a lord and that I had insulted him and his daughter (his daughter on two occasions) I managed to just about squeak out "please don't behead me" before fainting from the shock…
When I awoke I was in the back seat of an extended length motorcar sitting across from Lord Coldstone and his daughter. His Lordship explained to me that I was being taken back home for the time being until I had made a decision on his offer. I of course had no idea what he was talking about and asked him what he meant. He responded with an offer to come and work for him on my research with full funding and no expense spared. I of course immediately agreed with the question as to what exactly happened with the university…
"The university has been embezzling money from those who provide outside funding for specific projects" the young Miss Coldstone explained "they had also been cutting the university funding for projects deemed as worthless by the senior lecturer"
"When I found out about this I quickly had the entire university council arrested on the front for embezzlement" Lord Coldstone said "but in actuality I have become quite invested in your work, on behalf of my daughter, and decided that I would no longer allow anyone to get in your way" Lord Coldstone
At that point we had reached my mother's house. I asked Lord Coldstone and his daughter how I could ever repay them to which his lordship responded with "succeed in your work doctor…" before closing the motorcar door and being driven away at breakneck speed.
"My son! The subordinate of a Viscount!" my mother hadn't let me go for the past 5 minutes since I'd told her about my experience with Lord Coldstone and his daughter.
"M-mum please you're crushing my spine…" for what appeared to be a frail 80 year old, my mum was surprisingly strong. She then let me go and hobbled into the kitchen.
"I must call Frank immediately, and arrange a party celebrating the resurrection of your scientific career" as you can probably tell my mother was quite the excitable woman. She is wonderful…
"Perhaps it would be wise to hold off on a party for the meantime…" I said.
"Do you think that I should invite that lord" she wasn't listening to me "or perhaps that would be a bit to impertinent of a lower class family"
knowing full well that there was no way I could stop my mother from throwing a party I managed to convince her into toning it down to a small get together of just her, Frank and a few close friends as well as myself.
After a few days of my mum calling around there was a little get together with a small toast to my sudden bout of good luck. Just after the toast there was a knock at the door.
"Oh that must be the Mackintosh's" mum hobbled towards the door "I sent them an invitation but they were unsure on whether they would be able to come" another knock came at the door and mum quickly answered "yes, yes. I'm coming, I'm coming. Hold your hor…" my mum let out a yelp causing me and cousin Frank to run to the door.
Mum was pale as can be, and at the door was Lord Coldstone, his daughter and a woman I believed I had never seen before, though akin to my first encounter with her husband she seemed familiar. She was an incredibly beautiful woman. She was tall, taller than his lordship with long black hair and alabaster skin, she wore an electric blue dress with some strange looking pink flowers embroidered on it as well as a pair of perfectly round sunglasses covering her eyes.
"I heard you were throwing a party on behalf of your continuing work doctor" said Lord Coldstone "we didn't get an invitation but I'm assuming that it should be ok for us to join you. Also you can tell your cousin that he can get up now" Frank had been bowing on one knee for the duration of this encounter and mum appeared to have entered a state of living rigour mortis hanging onto the door.
"S-sure there is no problem with you joining us" I managed to stammer out. They then entered the house and shook mine, mums and Franks hands as they did.
As the tall woman shook my hand she explained who she was. "I don't believe we've met doctor, my husband has said many great things about your work. I am Viscountess Cordelia Coldstone…"