Direbrack is not the kind of place you want to go unless absolutely necessary, or if you're just a bit queer in the head, no offence to you or your beautiful girlfriend Mr. Clarke but you do understand what I mean.
Direbrack as you well know is a desolate frostbitten wasteland filled with little to no flora barring the pink flowered, leafless gravethorn trees (Akanthodis thanatos) and the dangerous parasitic Dire bracken (Kefalodokos oculum) from which the valley gets its name (which is thankfully incredibly rare nowadays). As for fauna, the earth below the icy slush that the valley calls its ground, swarms with thousands of tiny burrowing hookworms(Necatordermatofagía)and above the frost amidst the rotting logs and animal corpses that have been brought to the valley by the enormous Direbrack crows (Corvus occisor), there are innumerable carrion eating snails (Cornu sarkoxýstra) and arachnids (Ptomatofagos corniger, order: Ricinulei). The valley may be small and secluded, but its secluded nature has allowed for an ecosystem separate entirely from the rest of Britannia. Plus the lack of sunlight caused by ancient volcanic fumes getting trapped by the valleys lack of wind means that nearly all life except the crows have had to become carnivorous scavengers, cannibals, or just plain parasitic in nature. The crows are the only animals that can survive for short periods outside the valley and they hunt down small rotting logs, plant matter and medium sized prey items (foxes, wildcats, beavers, small deer) to fertilise the gravethorn trees by piling them by their shallow root systems (hence the name gravethorns). When the trees have enough nourishment from the decay they flower, are pollinated by the crows and produce the fruit on which the enormous birds feed.
I would eventually become quite familiar in the nature of this dark place and it would grow to endear itself to me over time…
There is, as you know, only one road into the valley that leads through a cave in one of the surrounding mountains blocked by a solid iron gate. You know the route Mr. Clarke. Passing through the valley was terrifying for me I had no idea such a terrible place could exist, and being told by the driver to not open any windows until we reached beyond the walls of the town to prevent dire bracken infection was horrific, especially when you see an ancient pile of fox bones with a petrified fern bursting from the skull. The town was much better despite the constant darkness, it was well decorated and the people were very cheerful and dressed in colourful clothes. The town was quite clean except for the occasional pile of ash that apparently blows down off the mountains. At the centre of the town was a mountain of such enormity that its top pierced the… well you know you've seen it. As you know the castle is at the top of said mountain and barring your unfortunate 'accident' Mr. Clarke my journey went practically the same… except I reached the top… and I was on foot once I got off the coach at the station.
Once I reached the castle I felt very small, as does everyone who stands before the largest castle fortress in Europe. I grasped the great brass door knocker and banged four times. I'm not going to go through every little detail describing the castle because, well I mean we're sitting in the castle right now. Anyway the point is I knocked the door and Hugo answered. I was greeted very warmly and walked inside of the main hall seeing the gallery of The Viscounts of Direbrack for the first time. All of Delias ancestors right back to the first Viscount of Direbrack were looking down on me from their painted homes. Cold red eyed stares the lot of them had all just as piercing as Delia but none as warm. I was glad to get to the great hall where I could escape the watch of the past Coldstones. "Wait here doctor someone will be with you shortly" Hugo said and then left. I started to have a look around. The fireplace was beautifully carved, that is to say that the quality of the carving was and still is beautiful. As you can see behind you the imagery is not so beautiful. The artwork is called 'The History of Human Violence' and for good reason, it shows many scenes depicting random acts of violence throughout different cultures and historical eras. Foul stuff. Above it you can see the Coldstone family crest, bearing the two Direbrack crows and the gravethorn tree.
After about fifteen minutes of studying the carving and warming myself by the fire I I heard a clatter behind me. I nearly jumped out of my skin and whipped around to see what it was, but there was no one there. Then I spotted something moving behind a suit of armour. It was Delia.
"Delia? How long have you been hiding behind that suit of armour?" I asked
"Umm… about ten minutes…" she chuckled nervously and stepped down off the armours pedestal "I was too scared to talk to you. After our last encounter I realised that I must have made such a fool of myself"
"Nonsense… well maybe just a little" we both chuckled "let's start again…" I said and extended my hand "it's been a while Delia, its good to see you"
She turned bright pink and took my hand before pulling me in for an unexpected hug "I've missed you Theo" she said with a little sob "you stupid uptight bastard". I wrapped my arms around her realising how much I'd missed her too. We hadn't seen each other since we were students, and now barring my own family she was probably my oldest, and despite not having had seen her for near enough 14 years, my closest friend as well. "I'll marry you…" with me saying this she let out a frightened squeak and nearly choked me with how much she tightened the hug "I mean I'll get engaged to you for now, its the least I can do for you getting my work back, and one day maybe once we've spent some more time together I'll marry you" she let go of me and thanked me profusely and even plucked up the courage to kiss me on the cheek.
"Of course you'll have to divorce your husband first before we can get officially engaged" I said
"The papers are already signed, all that needs to happen is for them to be notarised and then for me to announce my engagement" she said "Hugo!" She yelled calling him to come into the hall at a slow gallop
"yes mistress" he said obediently
"Take the papers down to the notary and inform Fredrick that he can go back to Listorford, with his family to inform his mother of what has been going on" she ordered
"Yes mistress" Hugo replied
"Oh and one last thing, get us a couple of bottles of gin from wherever you're hiding them, if there has ever been a time to celebrate now is it"
"Mistress I don't think gin is…" he was stopped abruptly by Delia staring daggers at him to which he quickly responded with a role of his eyes "Yes mistress, I will get a couple of bottles of gin" he then proceeded to walk out of the room only to come back a few seconds later with 2 large bottles of hand labelled gin as well as Fredrick, Natalia and a woman who was quite obviously Natalia's mother.
We all took a glass of gin (except Natalia who instead had some grape juice) and toasted to the future. When Hugo got back from the notary, the now Mr. Caldaerk and his family headed on their way, but before they did, Fredrick recommended a jewellers in the town square and said "make sure you get engaged properly". We wished them luck on their long journey as they drove off down the mountain.
"Now that we're alone, how about a few more sips of gin and some fun…" Delia was already clearly tipsy enough to have quite a bit of confidence, or at least enough confidence to flirt with me.
"Mistress, the gin has been put away for tonight" Hugo said
"You monster, tell me where it is" she complained, grabbing his jacket.
"I recommend that due to the time you should get some sleep. I recommend the same for you, doctor" he said calmly.
Delia grabbed me by the arm out of nowhere "that's a great idea Hugo, we are practically married now aren't we" she said groggily.
"Not at all what I said mistress"
"Come here you big brained lug" she dragged me through the front door and up stairs with a surprising amount of force for someone of her size. I of course complained to no avail. When we reached her bedroom I was forced down on her bed with her on top of me. She was quite flushed despite only having had a couple of glasses of gin, and after a few mumbled words she collapsed on top of me and began to snore…