"I should do it." I think to myself. Before I do so, I look down to the ground. Millions of unnecessary questions go through my mind.
"Would he deny me? What if he'd mock me? Wouldn't I annoy him? What if he doesn't think of me the way I think of him? Is he going to give me his instagram? Does he have instagram? But what if I make him feel uncomfortable? What if. What if what if what if what if-" I extricate myself from my anxious mind, and I realize it's already too late. I look around, searching for him with my eyes. All the time I wasted on deciding let him disappear in the night. I laugh.
I laugh and giggle at my stupid anxiety. I'm not sad, cuz I know there are a lot of opportunities waiting for me to approach him in the future. Everyday in the morning or next week at another, chilly night before this stadium. And maybe this is how today was supposed to end. By me realising that I genuinely want to get to know this person.
I set off on my way home. As soon as I arrive, I go to bed, still thinking of him and his unbridled hair.
.
.
.
A few days passed and it's the weekend now, The 11th of September.
I decided to explore the city a little today. Alone.
I take my work with me to my shoulder bag, and head to a place that's been dwelling in my head for some time. It's a bridge between 2 buildings. This bridge is located in central Tokyo, yet I have never seen anyone on it. It looks calmer than any other place here. It almost tells me to explore it. The private place in public.
I enter a building, and discover that I need to go to the highest floor-library to get on the bridge. I go up, up and up, until I'm on the 9th floor, entering the library. It's old. It also smells old. Like yellowish books that must be over 60 years old. The place gives a mysterious vibe. I can see all the dust flying in the sun beams. It's a beautiful place. So old, mysterious, yet generous and young. As if I could feel young love flowing through the air. Couples laughing and running through this huge labyrinth of books, giggling and falling in love, swirling the dust, playing hide and seek behind the bookshelves and hiding their kisses behind a book that writes their own story.
This library must be full of memories of feelings .That's why I feel so alive in this forgotten place. Because people once lived here.
I found the entrance to the bridge. I take a deep breath. I'd stay in this library forever if I could, but after all, that's not why I came here.
As I enter the bridge a cold, morning breeze hits me. Autumn is behind the corner, and I feel it too. I'm wearing a brown trench coat, my hair is getting darker and I can't stop wearing my turtleneck T-shirts that always keep warm.
Leaves are flowing through the wind. Occasionally some fall on the bridge, bringing some colour on this grey ground under me. The green railing is rusting, and is covered in slight dirt. Yet I still dare to grip it, and lean on it. It remains firm, and it helps me to safely tilt out towards the sun. There's a beautiful view on the city. I only wish to show this place to my friends so we can chill here together. The wind plays with my brown hair, making it a little messy and I feel awesome. This moment is worth capturing. I take out my camera, and focus it on the sunrise. I love to take photos of beautiful things.
I decided not to stay for too long, instead I head towards the building on the other side of the bridge. There should be a hidden cafe.
.
.
.
Through the glass door I can already see there is nothing. It's a plain room with a mirror wall and huge windows. This must've been a dance studio once. It looks far more maintained than the bridge tho. Maybe it's still functional. A little sun beam comes in from the outside. It'll soon be bright and sunny here. It must be beautiful to be here at night too. And there's nobody. Literally nobody. I'm the only one here.
I feel a wave of sadness hit me. Such wonderful places that nobody came to admire. But maybe they like it. Maybe these places do not seek attention, and to be honored by everyone. Maybe they like to stay calm, patiently waiting for some kind souls to bring love to them. These places want people who'll value them.
"Congrats, you just found an entrance to a hidden caffé!" says the door I behold in front of me.