I finally drug my eyes back up to him and that's when I saw it, the act he put on to make others feel better about him dying, I hadn't noticed how much he needed someone to comfort HIM. For the first time since I met him he looked truly broken and I was the one who broke him. I turned towards him not knowing how to fix it, before I even had a chance to think about it I leaned into him, I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him but he pushed me away: No Lizzie, your right. I can't expect you or anyone else to be with me like this, I'm sorry I had you come here, I don't know what I was thinking.
I needed to make it right, I was falling in love with this man and the idea that I just hurt him killed me. I inhaled sharply as I sat up and turned towards him making him look at me. I lifted his shirt from around him and pulled it over his head. He looked up at me dumbfounded until he saw me pull my own shirt off, I laid pressing my breast up against him, feeling my skin against his, our foreheads together as we breathed in unison while our skin touched, our breathing getting slightly heavier the longer we lay there holding each other. His arms were around my body and I could feel his fingertip pressing into my skin as if I could never be close enough. I stood up and pulled my panties down and got back in bed on my knees as he studied my body, his shorts tenting as he looked me over.
His gaze dropped from me suddenly and his face became stern: Lizzie we can't do this, you were right, and I can't bear the thought of you feeling that loss again. Before he could say anything else I snapped back: ITS TOO LATE! His head jerked towards me and I realized I had yelled. I sighed and lowered my voice: Cant you see that its too late? If I'm being honest with myself I'm already in love with you and that can't be changed even if you send me away.
I started to get up but he took my hand and I turned to see his brows were pinched tightly as he looked almost angry: I know the feeling of hanging on by a thread, sending you away would literally kill me Lizzie, I'd lose the will to keep living the little life I have left.
I leaned in to kiss him and tears escaped his eyes, I wiped them away as I kissed him with my hands on either side of his face. He didn't have the energy to do half of what I know he wanted to but he would nudge me this way or that and I would follow in suit. I put my legs on either side of him and leaned down to give him access to my neck, he brushed my hair away from my neck as he kissed me sending a tingling sensation throughout every area he touched and kissed. He put his arm around my waist and another going up my spine to the nape of my neck as he kissed me, our tongues intertwining as he deepened the kiss. I could feel him twitch between my legs feeling his desire for me. I lifted myself a few inches to allow him access and he gasped and moaned as he entered me. My movements became rhythmic as I felt myself getting closer to release. He took my face in his hand as I continued to move up and down, he looked into my eyes forcing me to look at him while he said: I love you Elizabeth, I will always love you. His words and the intensity of them sent me over the edge as he released inside of me as I came. His words caused my heart to ache and I burst into tears, he laid breathless in his already weakened state but pulled my body onto him allowing me to cry in his chest: Sh sh sh, its okay, you're gonna be okay.
I knew that anything I said would hurt us both so I laid down next to him and sobbed until I fell asleep in his arms. The next morning the nurse came in to give Daniel his medicine, she injected his meds straight into his vein and I winced at the thought of it being a daily occurrence and how Olivia was going through the same thing. They crumpled all the trash into their pocket including the needle which I thought was odd I need to get a trash can for them I got up and went to eat breakfast while Daniel slept a little longer, his meds always made him tired but it was even worse after last night.
Helen brought me a plate of food but I had a hard time eating it with the thought of her spitting in it. I picked at it for a while and then dumped it in the trash, covering it with other garbage so I didn't offend her more. I went back to the bedroom to get dressed to go see Olivia, when I walked into the room to find Daniel with a contented look staring out the window. My heart felt a tug as I watched him, he looked as if he could die happy and that thought hurt: What exactly is it? His head snapped towards me, he just looked at me and the only noise was a Hmm?
I repeated the question but added: What is it that you have? What is the name of your disease?
His expression saddened, I knew I was ruining his mood but I needed to know: Uh, well they don't quite know, they believe it isn't known, that its genetic because my father died in a similar way.
"That doesn't make sense though. Your father was older, so if it was genetic, wouldn't it effect you similar? As in getting it around the same age as he did?" He shrugged before saying: I dont know. Its just what all 3 of the different doctors that I went tp said.
I think he was trying to make a point; he had time to fight it and process it, he'd gotten a second and third opinion and trying to fight it would waste what little time he had left. I smiled at him and changed the subject. As I was about to leave, he called me over to his side. I sat next to him and kissed right below his eye tilting my head with a smile. He grabbed my hand and smacked a credit card into it.
Keep this with you in case you need it for anything. Also… and if you need time to think this over you can take it... but if it would be okay with you... I would like you to get a few pregnancy tests? We don't have to do anything yet b…