Chapter 24 - Chapter 24: These Hands

TW: Depression, Language, Mild Sexual Content, Murd*rDemian ran back to his dorm, Peter was home and was startled when he entered. "Holy fuck mate, you scared me." He said. "Didn't expect you to come back tonight." "They're taking him home." Demian blurted out. "Who?" Peter thought for a moment, "Oh..." Demians eyes stung. He fell into his own bed next to Silas, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. "I'm sorry." Peter managed to say, he stuffed his hands in his pockets awkwardly looking for the right words to say. "But he's still alive right?" He finally managed to spit out. "For now..."Demian tried to find solace in those words. He knew it was for the best that Terrence went home to be with his parents, just in case the worst might happen. He tried to shake those scary thoughts from his head. Thinking about death at such a young age terrified him, he had no idea he would come so close to it this early. He thought about Draco, and how little he seemed to care of anyone else's life but his own. He didn't know whether he felt bad for him or admired how strong he was. He just knew, he wasn't like that. Silas curled up next to Demian, he took comfort in stroking him a few times before Peter broke the silence again, "You really can't beat yourself up Demian, Terrence always lived life on the edge, he was a seeker, a partier, a fighter, everyone knew that." And he was all of those things, and so much more. No, he is all of those things. Demian found it hard not to act as though he was already gone, when that's what it felt like to him. "Yeah...." He said softly, before a knock could be heard on the door. "Fuck." Peter said quietly, he answered the door and spoke under his breath "yeah probably not the best time babe..." "Awh really?" Penny sounded disappointed and Demian suddenly knew why Peter wanted the dorm to himself. He sat up and wiped his eyes a bit, "It's fine you guys, I was actually just leaving." He tried to say more confidently. "I have an appointment with Professor Valor."Peter stepped aside and Penny came in, "Are you sure?" He said. "Yeah I'm sure, I'll see you guys later." Peter stood behind Penny, putting his hands together and mouthing to Demian, "Thank you." Demian forced a smile, he got up and walked towards the charms classroom, a mixture of emotions swirling through his mind. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*It was nearing 7, Demian did take the last time slot available for whatever reason. As he walked up to the classroom, Pansy was exiting, a smile plastered across her face. "Oh, you." she said, rolling her eyes. "What could you possibly be here for, all you do is study." She said inquisitively. "I'm here for the same reason you are." He said. She scoffed, "I highly doubt that, half-blood." She spat, smirking at him before pushing past him.Demian thought back to that night of the party, he'd never confronted her about what she did, or why she did it. He felt sick, just thinking about it. It wasn't that he didn't want to know, maybe it's that he was afraid to know. His guts twisted even more as he entered the classroom. Professor Valor was sitting at his desk, leaned over a stack of papers. He looked up when he heard the door,"Oh Valentino, please come sit." He said. Demian obliged and took a seat. "My word, have you been studying too hard? You look like you have." Demian remembered the darkness painted under his eyes, he folded his arms and shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Well, it's..." He paused for a moment, "It's not just the studying?" The Professor answered for him, leaning back in his chair. Demian looked away, sighing softly. "No." "Then why did you come here tonight?" He asked. Demian thought of his words carefully, his heart thumped as he responded with his version of the truth, "I just wanted to talk to you." Professor Valor sighed softly, turning to check to see if his door was shut. Demian took note of this. "I understand...just tell me what's wrong." He tried to smile, but Demian could tell the man was nervous. Demian swallowed hard, "Terrence's parents are taking him home, in case he....dies." Demian paused as he spoke, the fear and anxiety of it all eating at him. He felt that familiar crushing weight of depression taking hold. "I never even got to say goodbye, the last thing he saw...wasn't good." The professor sat there, confused a bit. "Wasn't good?" He inquired. Demian was a bit embarrassed, even through the tears stinging his cheeks became hot. "Malfoy and I, at the bonfire party." He admitted, trying not to say too many words. The Professor sighed again, "Demian, whether or not it was Malfoy, or someone else-" He paused, "Terrence would have seen you with someone eventually. There was likely a multitude of things going on in his life, you're allowing all of this to devour you when the reality is you couldn't protect him, not forever." Demian looked up and caught his gaze, surprised that similar words were uttered from Draco as well. "Yeah..." He muttered under his breath. "It's hard accepting that we can't protect someone." He said, sniffling a bit. "It is." The professor said, he stared off into the distance for a moment before replying. "Anyways, Valentino, whatever happened, or happens to Higgs isn't your fault. The truth is, young love can be devastating at times, it's confusing figuring out who you are, let alone who someone else is." Demian let those words sink in, "Did you figure out who you are, Professor?" He looked up at him with blood-stained eyes. "I still learn something new every day." He said, and those words surprised Demian. "I would have never guessed." Demian replied, this made the Professor laugh. He put his hands behind his head for a moment and the cuff of his sleeve rose, exposing his lotus flower tattoo. "Why did you get that?" he asked him without shame. "You know, you're supposed to be here for incantations." He reminded him. Demian flushed again. "I... possibly lied about that as well." Professor Valor looked at him curiously before he spoke, "You make some very interesting choices, Valentino." He pulled the cuff of his sleeve down a bit, "I got this when I was just a little older than you, for...a friend." He trailed off. "A friend?" Demian said. "A girl." He finally spoke, "That I loved once. She died." Demian stayed silent for a moment, he felt bad for even asking. "I'm sorry." He finally said. "A shared joy is a double joy; a shared sorrow is half a sorrow." He paused again briefly, "Remember that." He sighed quietly before turning back to Demian, he folded his hands between one another and leaned forward on his desk, trying to appear a bit more professional. "Now, do you need any assistance with your schoolwork, for real?" "No...." Demian said softly, he looked away in embarrassment and the Professor laughed again, "Okay well..." He cleared his throat, "We should probably wrap this up." Demian went to grab his things, he stood up hastily and the Professors lamp started to wobble, both of them reached to grab it and for a split moment their hands touched. Demian quickly pulled his hand back, embarrassed and even Christians face went red. The lamp rocked back and forth a few times before settling while they each stood there, studying one another, "I-" Demian stammered, "I'm sorry, I'll go now." He said. He quickly turned around before he could hear his response, his heart thumping out of his chest. Pansy stood a few feet down the hall, watching Demian leave in a hurry towards the Slytherin common room, where he promised he would meet Draco for the night. She muttered something only for herself to hear, her arms crossed in annoyance. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*Demian walked towards Malfoys room, he uttered those words ingrained in his memory, "Basilisk", before entering the common room. There were a few scattered bodies about, it was the weekend before the O.W.L.s and people were enjoying their last bit of freedom. He knocked on Malfoys door and after a few moments he answers, "Oh, there you are." He said, "Get in here." He gripped the front of Demians robes and pulled him into his room, kissing him once. "So, are you done moping over what's happened to Higgs." He said, somewhat coldly. Demian took a step back from him and folded his arms, "Draco, don't." He responded, "I just think it's fucking stupid to waste all your days worrying about that pathetic loser""Well you'll be happy to know his parents arrived today to pick him up, they're taking him home in case...well, in case of the worst-case scenario." Draco scoffed, "Worst case scenario. Imagine killing yourself over someone in 5th year" He joked, the words stung. "K-killing himself?" Demian stammered, "What makes you think that?" "Are you dense, Demian." Draco said, "No, I forget you're just naive." "Demians eyes burned again, "I'm not naive." "You are." Draco corrected him, forcefully. Demian kept his arms folded, he felt a lump of uncertainty swelling up in his throat, the tears started coming again and Draco sighed, loudly. "There's no way you're crying over him, again." Jealousy pierced through his words,Demian didn't respond, he just turned around and walked out the door, leaving Malfoy there confused. "Don't walk away from me Demian." He said, but he had already left. *.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*Dracos POV He watched Demian walk out the door and sighed again, Fuck. He thought to himself before deciding to go after him. He slid his shoes on and went to reach for the door, suddenly he felt a pulse through the dark mark, he gripped his forearm, Come on, not now. He knew that he was being summoned, but that could wait. He didn't want to leave for however long, again, without telling him he didn't mean it. He pulled his door open and Pansy was already standing there, he hastily covered up the mark,"Hello, Draco." "Get the fuck out of here Pansy." He spat."Are you sure? You don't want to hear what I have to say?""Not really, no." He responded dryly. "It's about your precious little boyfriend."Draco rolled his eyes. "Pansy, whatever obsession you have with Demian and I needs to end. You look fucking pathetic." "Obsession?" She looked offended, "I was never obsessed over you two." "Who are you trying to convince, me, or yourself?" She scoffed, "Fine, have it your way. But your little lover isn't as faithful as you think he is." With Higgs incapacitated Draco had no idea who she could be insinuating and this irritated him. "Wait!" He called out to her, but she was already gone. He stood there, contemplating for a few moments before heading to the Ravenclaw common rooms.Demian wasn't home. He decided to head for Malfoy Manor, where he could hopefully check in with his father before being forced into a visitation with him. He arrived a little sooner than he thought, though it was still late at night. The estate was dark, his father rarely kept it lit from the outside, he liked it like that. When he walked through the front door it was eerily quiet, he looked around, the paintings adorning the walls seemingly staring right at him. He walked into the main hall, where his fathers long black table sat, the ornate wooden furniture and tapestries hanging from the wall felt as if they would engulf him. He always hated this room. There stood his mother, father, Bellatrix Lestrange and even Voldemort himself, his stomach sank. "What's going on." He tried to say, confidently. "Son, there you are." Lucius said, a hint of caution in his voice. "Hello son" Narcissa said. Voldemort simply smiled at him, eerily, Bellatrix at his side. He walked up slowly, "I came as soon as I could." He said. "We know." His father replied, "There's something you must do, tonight."Malfoy looked at him curiously, "Tonight, you become a man." This intrigued him, but worried him even more. "How so?" "Let me show you." Voldemort suddenly said. Dracos stomach sank again, he tried to look strong and confident in his presence though. He followed behind them in silence, down into the depths of the manor. The stone walls got colder the further they went down, and he shivered in not only anticipation, but temperature. "Where are we going?" He inquired, but his father just shushed him. "They walked him to a desolate back room fashioned with a wooden door on it, some small bars across the top." "Go ahead" Voldemort said, He was confused, and looked inside, a young girl was chained up, her tattered clothes ripped to near shreds. She had jet black hair and brown eyes, freckles scattered across her face. "Who is that?" He questioned, "A muggle born woman, whom you will kill." Voldemort replied. He looked at him, shocked, "What?" "You heard me, Draco." He looked to his parents for guidance, but they offered none. Bellatrix simply smiled, that terrifying smile he had seen so many times before. "Why?" He asked. "To know if you're ready." "Ready for what?" "To play your part." Voldemort said, mysteriously. He cracked open the door and the girl scooted closer to the wall; she recoiled in fear as Malfoy entered. He stood on the other side of the room for a moment before the door was shut behind him, peering eyes still watching through the bars. Draco felt his palms grow sweaty, for all the times he'd come close he'd never actually killed anyone. Half of it's just for show. He thought to himself, somewhat ashamed. He swallowed the lump of uncertainty in his throat, determined to prove himself. Stepping closer to the girl she receded further into the shadows, starting to plead, "P-please, don't hurt me." Draco sighed, he pulled out his wand and pointed it directly at her, his hand wavering only a bit before Voldemort interjected. "Too easy." He said, "No magic." Draco turned around back to the door, his voice much louder than before, "What the fuck does that mean." "Use your hands." Voldemort said. He saw his mother turn away. His father continued to watch in silence.Draco put his wand away, that familiar perspiration tickling his palms from anxiety. He turned back towards the girl, who was now trembling, "Please, I'm begging you." She said, "I'm only 17." Draco felt the stab of guilt he oh so rarely felt, he didn't know this girl, she'd never wronged him before. And even the thrill of it to him meant something, he hurt people who deserved it. At least in his eyes that's how he justified it. He tried to turn around but before he could protest, "Turn around or I'll kill the boy." Voldemort said. "Who?" Draco responded. "You know exactly who." Lucius looked over at Voldemort, Draco could feel his fathers embarrassment firsthand and this enraged him. Without a second though he turned around, leaning in front of the girl and with one swift movement he took her neck in his both hands, squeezing. She reached up, her weak grasp from days without food or water prevented her from putting up much of a fight. Dracos eyes became emotionless, he stared down at her as the fear filled her irises, studying her killer. He saw himself, reflected back at her and tried to shoulder his guilt but he only leaned forward, applying more weight and pushing her to the ground.He thought about Demian. He told himself this was to protect him. He rationalized in his mind, fighting an internal war with himself while she writhed in his strong grasp. The time it took him to convince himself he was making the right decision was all the time left she had on this earth. The young girl fell limp in Dracos grasp. He let her go and an audible thud could be heard inside the cell, her chains falling to the ground. Draco choked down any remorse he felt, trying to appear strong, but he stood over her body for a few moments, almost wishing she would rise once again. Before long he heard a few desolate claps emanating from outside the cell. "Very good." Voldemort said. "We now know how to motivate you, don't we." Draco didn't respond, he simply turned to his father and said, "Can I go now?" His father nodded, and he was released from the cell. He left immediately, examining his palms the entire way back to Hogwarts. The dark mark stared back at him eerily, but he couldn't take his eyes off it.