Chereads / Old Journals of a Millennial. / Chapter 16 - Chapter 14. "Falling apart slowly."

Chapter 16 - Chapter 14. "Falling apart slowly."

A journal entry: September 27th, 2004.

(Still 15 years old.)

As I got older I would write in my journals more often.

I had so much free time as a kid that I wouldn't put as much down, that is why so many if not all of these are so short.

I also figured I would remember it all. A part of me wishes that I wrote more.

I also formed a terrible habit of burning my completed journals after a while...some of the experiences were to hard to relive. To hard to have to remember.

To hard...

Even now some of those old journals haunt me...

I think more so because I burned them, you know? I feel like the memories resent me for not wanting to have them in my head.

Bah lol.

Don't mind me. I get lost in thought and I just write freely.

I don't embarrass easily. 

Obviously lol.

Enjoy.

-----

Hey wassup?

Long time no write huh?

I wrote back that annoying 13-year-old who like me, and I really cursed her out because this is the 3rd time I've had to turn her down.

I keep telling her I am taken and In a happy relationship, but she doesn't like much to listen...

Speaking of relationships, I hope me and XXXXX's is doing good...we haven't talked for a while and I hope we are not falling apart slowly...

God, help us.

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Remember how I said I was always aware of how old I was?

This young lady would drive me CRAZY! 

Man oh man lol

She had the biggest crush on me, and I was SO almost 16 that there was no way in hell that I would give her my attention.

I was coming into that mindset of being to cool, to old, to this, to that.

I was a bit full of myself because I was a little handsome, and no longer a virgin lol.

I was at the age and point where my moms friends would "flirt" with me, and my young head and ego would inflate to the size of a basketball. 

Soccer ball. 

I liked soccer as a kid, I wasn't into basketball.

This was mainly due to it being so stereotypically shoved down my throat in high school since I was nearly six feet tall and Black.

Lbvs. 

As for the "happy relationship." I really don't recall dating this girl lol. I remember wanting to so badly. So very, very badly. I remember being madly in love with her. But I can't honestly say that we were anything more than just friends. I think it was blown up in my head a lot more as a kid, but maybe grown up me could just be recalling things wrong...these journals seem to be pretty adamant and repeating in theme though, you know?

I guess we will find out together lol

That seems to be the thing here!

See you soon folks.