Rodolphus suddenly rose from his chair, nearly knocking it over. His expression was strained and his entire body was tense.
"Rod," Bellatrix said, the word half question, half demand. "Where are you going?"
"Nowhere," he replied. "I'm just standing up. I needed to stop looking at that. I needed space from...that memory, to put physical distance between me and it."
Finally he was showing some emotion about what happened to them, Bellatrix thought. She supposed looking at it gave him no choice.
"He was horrible," Lyra breathed. "So inhuman. His expressions were even cruel! If I didn't know better, I never would've believed he was sitting among loyal followers. He didn't give that impression in the least."
She still held Bellatrix's hand as she spoke, and Bellatrix clung back, glad of any affection or support from her daughter, even if it was inspired by the horrors of their former Dark Lord.
"Yeah, he seemed to be slipping for sure, and we were all frightened and confused most of the time," Rabastan said.
Taking a deep breath, Lyra returned her gaze to the Pensieve, and Bellatrix forced herself to do so as well. She watched as the Dark Lord insulted her family because of the stupid Tonks girl. She watched herself cry and cringe, recalling the acute shame and humiliation she'd felt over that. More than that, though, she'd felt entirely worthless because she belonged to the family that so displeased the Dark Lord. It undermined all of her accomplishments and everything she'd done for him. It must, else why would he be so disgusted and unkind?
Everyone except for Rod watched as Bellatrix's tears switched from those of shame to those of gratitude when the Dark Lord ever so kindly allowed her to wipe the blemish from her family tree. She was so elated and grateful! She could've kissed his boots and, in fact, very much wanted to do so in order to fittingly display her gratitude. She knew he was volatile, though, and did not wish to do anything he may consider unnecessary. Recalling those memories made her shudder in horror and disgust. "It's horrid recalling those feelings while now understanding why they were so all-consuming," she murmured, huddling in on herself in the chair.
"I...umm...I now know you did what you did to keep me from him, and...just...thank you," Lyra said, voice shaking slightly. "I'm sorry he messed with your heads like that. I can see it in everything you do in these memories. Knowing what I do now, it's so obvious."
"Thanks," Rodolphus said tightly, but the smile he gave his daughter was genuine. Lyra nodded and extended her free hand to him. "Come and sit with us again. Let's look at a better memory. I want to see you all when you were younger."
Rodolphus nodded and resumed his seat as Bellatrix returned her memories to her head. She was glad those were over, though re-examining them had been...enlightening. Rodolphus extracted some of his own memories and placed them into the Pensieve. Curious what he considered worthy to show Lyra, Bellatrix leaned forward eagerly to see.
In the memory, Rodolphus and Bellatrix were ten and Rabastan was five. The families had gotten together for some sort of summer solstice party at the Lestrange home. Bellatrix quickly grew bored with the other girls talking about dresses and hair styles so wandered outside to look for Rodolphus. He and Rabastan were going up into their tree house, and she asked if she could join them. Rod was such the gentleman as he carefully placed his hands onto her waist to swing her up and inside.
"You made me feel so safe and protected," she told him with a fond smile. She liked this memory. In truth it was one of her most cherished.
"Good," Rodolphus said, grinning back. "I was thinking how pretty you were, even then, but at that point I was too young to know what I wanted to do about it."
"Yes. We didn't get there until four or five years later," Bellatrix said with a chuckle.
"You were shagging at fourteen or fifteen?" Lyra squawked indignantly.
"Of course not," Bellatrix snapped. "I just thought of kissing him around that time."
Rodolphus nodded in agreement, pointing a mock finger at Lyra. "Don't be a perv brat."
Lyra giggled, and they all returned their attention to the memory in the Pensieve.
Bellatrix and Rodolphus were helping Rabastan to make a castle from building blocks. The youngest Lestrange was obviously enjoying the attention and exuberantly made the castle as extravagant as he could. When it had literally become all it could be, due to the fact they'd run out of blocks, he secretly knocked it down so they had to build it again.
"I didn't want the two of you to stop playing with me," Rabastan said with a grin. "I made it fall from behind so you wouldn't see me do it."
"That's actually sweet," Bellatrix said warmly, giving her brother-in-law a soft smile. "It's nice to be wanted, and you were a good kid really."
"Yeah, you were cool," Rodolphus agreed gruffly.
They moved on to his next memory then, and it nearly made Bellatrix tear up. She and Rod were sixteen and he was presenting her with the silver raven skull necklace that she still wore. He'd gotten it made just for her so that everyone at Hogwarts would see her wearing it and know she was his... That she would someday be a member of the Lestrange family.
Watching as Rod pulled her close and kissed her hard in the memory stirred Bella's blood, and she smiled. "You made me feel safe, but you also made me feel wild and primitive in a way nothing else ever could. None of that has ever changed," she told him, hearing her own voice come out breathily.
"That's good," he replied with a smile.
"Eww," Lyra complained. "You're my parents. I don't need to hear you talk like that."
"Why not?" Bellatrix snarked, grinning at her daughter. "You're of age."
Lyra shuddered. "Maybe I'm not," she decided. "Maybe I can never be old enough for that."
"What's next," Rabastan asked.
"I know," Lyra said, turning to Bellatrix and Rodolphus. "I want to see a memory of when the two of you first...knew. You know, that the other was the one. As long as it isn't nasty."
"I've got it," Bellatrix said happily. "I remember precisely when I decided your father was the hottest thing ever, and the only one for me." She extracted the memory as Rodolphus replaced his own. Placing it into the Pensieve, she leaned forward, as eager as Lyra to see it.
They were fourteen, and Rodolphus was beating the fuck out of some Hufflepuff near the lake, one autumn day at Hogwarts. Bellatrix watched on in mild interest as the Hufflepuff got smashed by Rod's fists. The best part was when Rodolphus stopped pummeling the kid and studied him, staring into his face as though searching for something before punching him hard one final time and turning away.
Obviously he'd been looking for something in the kid's face to indicate if he'd had enough yet, and Rod was unsatisfied with what he saw, so he hit him again. Bellatrix watched herself looking up into his face and telling him how brilliant that had been. She smiled to see the way her teenage eyes heated, her lips slightly parted. Rodolphus looked surprised for an instant, then grinned, shyly slipping an arm around her waist as they strolled away together.
"Aw," Lyra said. "That's almost sweet if it weren't so twisted!"
"That's what made it all the sweeter," Bellatrix said.
Rodolphus nodded. "Quite right," he agreed.
"Want to show her our tormenting the Longbottoms now," Rabastan asked eagerly.
"Why do I want to see you hurting people," Lyra asked.
"Because it was awesome," Rabastan enthused. "Bella! Rod! 'Member how we took turns seeing who could hit them with a harder Crucio? And when we got bored with that we made them harmonize their screams! Remember that?" Rabastan cackled with glee, rocking back and forth in his chair as he rubbed his hands together.
Bellatrix chuckled. "Yes. I recall that fondly. We told them if they harmonized well, we would stop... Then after we made them hit various different notes, we told them we'd lied!"
Rod grinned. "Yeah, that was rather brilliant of us! Those were the days!"
"Weren't you under his compulsion when you did that, though," Lyra asked. "Considering that, why doesn't the memory bother you?"
Bellatrix shrugged. "We could've done that particular bit anyway. They were blood traitors and needed to suffer. It was fun and it was us exercising our creativity."
Rabastan snickered appreciatively as Rodolphus nodded. "Damn right."