‗My life's dearest desire?' She fell into deep thought, the pen between
her lips. Then drawing a deep breath, she gave a wan smile, ‗Hard to
say…'
‗Why is it hard?' Javeria asked her.
‗Because I desire so many things, and each one of them is so important
for me,' she replied, shaking her head.
They were both sitting at the farther end of the auditorium, their backs
to the wall. It was their eighth day at the F.Sc. classes and they spent
their free period there. Nibbling salted peanuts one by one, Javeria
repeated her question. ‗What's your life's dearest wish, Imama?'
Imama looked at her with some surprise and pondered over the
question. Then parrying the question with a demand, she said, ‗You tell
me first what you desire most.'
‗I asked you first, so you should reply first,' retorted Javeria.
‗Very well…let me think,' Imama conceded defeat. ‗My life's dearest
desire…' she mumbled to herself.
‗Well, one wish is to live long…very long,' she said.
‗Why?' laughed Javeria.
‗Fifty or sixty years are too short for me. One should live to be at least a
hundred. And then there is so much I wish to do. Should I die early, all
my wishes would remain unfulfilled.' She popped a peanut into her
mouth.
‗What else?' said Javeria.
‗I want to be the most outstanding doctor in the country—the best eye
specialist, so that when the history of eye surgery in Pakistan is
compiled, my name will be at the very top of the list.' She looked up
with a smile.
‗And what if you cannot become a doctor? After all, that depends both
on merit and luck,' Javeria stated.
‗That is out of the question. I am working so hard to make it to the
merit list. Besides my parents can afford to send me abroad if I don't
get into a medical college here.'
‗But still, what if you cannot be a doctor?'
‗That's impossible. It's my life's dearest desire: I can sacrifice
everything for it. This has been my lifelong dream, and how can one just
ignore or forget one's dreams? Impossible!' Imama shook her head
decisively as she picked another peanut off her palm and nibbled on it.
‗Nothing is impossible in life—anything can happen at any time.
Suppose your wish does not come true, how would you react?'
Imama fell into thought again. ‗To begin with, I'll weep a lot…a great
deal…for many days—and then I'll die.'
Javeria burst out laughing. ‗You just said you wanted a very long life,
and now you want to die.'
‗Obviously. What's the point of living then? All my plans are built
around my career in medicine and if that is not to be a part of my life,
then what remains?'
‗So you mean this one dream of your life will wipe out all other
dreams?'
‗Yes, think of it that way.'
‗Your most important desire is to be a doctor, not to live long?'
‗You could say so.'
‗Very well—so, if you can't become a doctor, then how would you
choose to die? Would you choose: suicide or a natural death?'
‗A natural death of course. I can't kill myself,' Imama replied casually.
‗And if you do not die naturally, then what? I mean, if you do not die
soon, despite not being a doctor, you would go on living.'
‗No. I know that I'll die very soon if I can't be a doctor. I will be so
heart-broken that I will not survive,' she replied decisively.
‗It is difficult to believe that a cheerful person like you can be so
despairing as to cry yourself to death. And that too just because you
were unable to pursue a medical career. Sounds funny,' mocked
Javeria.
‗Stop talking about me. Tell me about yourself. What is your heart's
greatest desire?' Imama changed the subject.
‗Let it go…'
‗Why let it go? Come on tell me…'
‗You will be offended if I say it.' Javeria spoke hesitatingly.
Imama turned around in surprise to look at her. ‗Why would I be
offended?'
Javeria was quiet.
‗What is it that I will mind?' Imama repeated her question.
‗You will…' Javeria murmured.
‗Why should your life's greatest wish so affect my life that I would get
upset?' Imama was quite irritated. ‗Is it your wish that I not become a
doctor?' Imama seemed to suddenly remember.
‗Oh, no!' laughed Javeria. ‗There is more to life than being a doctor,'
she stated philosophically.
‗Stop talking in riddles and answer me,' Imama said firmly. ‗I promise I
will not mind anything you say.' She held out her hand in a gesture of
peace.
‗Regardless of your promise you are going to be very angry when you
hear what I have to say. Let's talk of something else,' Javeria replied.
‗All right—let me guess. Your decision is linked to something of great
value to me, right?' queried Imama after a thoughtful pause.
Javeria nodded her head.
‗The question is: what is so important to me that I should…' she
stopped in mid-sentence. ‗But unless I know the nature of your wish, I
cannot come to a conclusion. Javeria, tell me please. The suspense is too
much for me,' she pleaded.
Javeria was lost in thought. Imama studied her face. Javeria looked up
at her after a while.
‗Other than my career, there is only one thing I value most in my life,'Imama addressed her, ‗and if you want to say something in that context,
then say so. I won't mind.' Imama was serious.
Javeria was taken aback. Imama was looking at the ring on her hand. A
smile crossed Javeria's face.
‗My life's dearest wish is that you….' Javeria revealed her thoughts.
Imama's face went white with shock. Javeria could not guess the impact
her words had on Imama, but the expression on her face showed that
the reaction was much more intense than she had expected.
‗I did tell you that you would be offended,' Javeria tried to redeem the
situation, but Imama stared back without a word.
---------------------------------------------------
Moiz was howling with pain, doubled up and holding on to his stomach.
The twelve-year-old boy facing him wiped the blood off his nose on the
sleeve of his torn shirt, and swung the tennis racquet in his hand to hit
Moiz on the leg.
Moiz let out another scream and straightened up. With disbelief he
looked at his brother—younger by two years—who was hitting him with
the same racquet that Moiz had brought there.
This was the third time they had fought this week, and every time it was
his younger brother who started the fight. He and Moiz had never had a
good relationship and had fought since childhood. But their quarrels
had been mostly verbal and included threats, but of late they had
become physical.
This is what happened today. They had come back from school
together. When they got down from the car, the younger brother
roughly dragged his bag out of the boot as Moiz was picking up his
school bag. In the process, he bruised Moiz's hand, making him wince
with pain.
‗Have you gone blind?' Moiz cried out as his brother walked off
nonchalantly. He heard Moiz, turned round, looked at him, then opened
the front door, and walked into the lounge. Incensed, Moiz followed on
his heels.
‗The next time you do anything like that I'll break your hand!' Moiz
shouted.
The younger boy took his bag off his shoulder, put it down, and with
hands on his hips, defiantly faced Moiz.
‗I will—so what will you do? Break my hand? Have you the guts?'
‗You'll find out if you repeat what you did today.' Moiz headed toward
His room