Javeria and Rabia could hardly sleep that night: they were gripped by
fear. What if she did not return? The question loomed like a menace.
They could see their careers smashed and they knew what the reaction
of their families would be—they would be maligned and criticized for
colluding with Imama, for not telling her father the truth about her and
for hiding the facts from the warden.
They had not figured what the reaction of Hashim Mubeen and his
family would be when they were faced with the truth—how would they
judge the role of these two friends. The other girls in the hostel would
talk about them and if this became a police case, they would be accused
of conspiring in the crime. When they thought of these repercussions,
their hair stood on end.
Once more the question arose: where on earth was Imama? Where had
she gone and why? They were trying to analyze her past behavior. She
had undergone such a change in the last one year: she'd stopped going
out with them and used to be worried and irritable; she'd lost her
enthusiasm for studies and had become withdrawn.
‗Remember when she refused to go shopping with us and then took off
somewhere else? She's gone to the same place, I'm sure—and like fools,
we believed whatever she said,' recalled Rabia.
‗But Imama was not like this—I've known her since childhood. She was
never like this.' Javeria still did not suspect her.
‗It doesn't take long to change—a person just needs to have a weak
character.' Rabia's suspicions were getting the better of her.
‗Rabia, she got engaged of her own choice—she and Asjad are very fondof each other—so why would she do such a thing.' Javeria tried to
defend her friend.
‗Then you tell me where she is? I've not turned her into a fly and stuck
her on a wall. Her father comes here to meet her and he has come from
his home, so obviously she's not there—and she told us she's going
home.' There was helplessness in Rabia's voice.
‗It could be that she met with an accident…that she did not get home…'
‗Whenever she goes home, she always calls up to tell them that her
brother should pick her up from the bus stop. Had she called up this
time too, they would not be sitting complacently if she hadn't reached
home—they would have called the hostel. From her father's attitude, it
seemed that she had no plans for going home this weekend.' Rabia
stopped Javeria in her musings.
‗Yes, she never goes home twice in a month, but this time she decided
to…the very next week. In fact, she took special permission from the
warden. There's definitely something wrong somewhere.' Javeria's
fears were aroused again.
‗We're going to be in deep trouble along with her. We really made a
grave mistake in covering up—we should have been honest with her
father that she's not here; he could have done what he wanted to…it
would be his problem. At least we would not have been in this mess.'
Rabia went on muttering.
‗Anyway, what can we do now? Let's wait and see till morning—if she
does not turn up then we have to tell the warden.' Javeria was pacing
around the room.
They spent the entire night talking, worrying—they had not slept a
wink. The next day they did not attend classes—there was no point in
going in their sorry state. Imama used to get back by nine on Saturdays
when she went home for the weekend, but there was no sign of her.
Rabia and Javeria were at the end of their wits—it was two thirty and
she hadn't returned. Ashen-faced and trembling, they left their room to
see the warden, making up their statements.
They were a short distance from the warden's room when they saw
Imama entering, calm and collected. Bag slung over her shoulder and
folder in hand, she was certainly returning from college. Javeria and
Rabia felt as if the ground slipping away from beneath their feet had
suddenly become firm. Their stilled breath was restored and the
headlines that seemed to be screaming at them from the next day's
papers miraculously evaporated. All these fears were replaced by the
anger that was aroused in them by the sight of Imama.She had seen them and was moving towards them; there was a very
pleasant smile on her face.
‗Why didn't you come to college toady?' she asked after greeting them.
‗We would think about going anywhere if we had respite from your
woes.' Rabia's tone was bitter and sharp.
Imama's smile disappeared. ‗What's the problem, Rabia, why are you
so angry?' she said with some concern.
‗Just step into the room, and I'll tell you why.' Rabia grabbed her arm
and pulled her in. Javeria followed them without a word. Imama was
surprised, confounded by Rabia's and Javeria's attitude. Rabia shut the
door and faced Imama.
‗Where are you coming from?' she asked in a sharp, angry tone.
‗Islamabad, where else?' Imama put down her bag. Her reply added to
Rabia's fury.
‗You should be ashamed of yourself, Imama…deceiving us like this,
pulling the wool over our eyes…what do you want to prove? That we're
duffers? Idiots? Fools? Fine, we are, I admit, or else we'd not blindly
believe you nor be so deceived,' said Rabia.
‗I fail to understand you…what deception are you talking about? It
would be better if you sat and spoke to me calmly.' Imama appeared
helpless.
‗Where did you spend the weekend?' For the first time, Javeria
interrupted the conversation.
‗I told you, I was in Islamabad and I came to college directly, and now
from college…' Rabia did not let her complete her words.
‗Stop this rubbish, Imama. The lie is not going to work—you did not go
to Islamabad.'
‗How can you say that?' Imama raised her voice.
‗Because your father was here yesterday.' The color drained from
Imama's face. She was silent.
‗Why are quiet now? Why don't you insist that you were in Islamabad?'
Rabia was sarcastic.
‗Baba was here?' Imama asked slowly.
‗Yes. He brought some clothes for you,' said Javeria.
‗He got to know that I was not in the hostel?'
‗I lied to him that you had stepped out on an errand. He gave the clothes
and left,' replied Javeria. Imama drew a spontaneous sigh of relief.
‗That means he did not get to know anything,' said Imama as she sat on
the bed and undid her sandal straps.
‗No... he did not find out. Next week you can take off somewhere else.Mind you, Imama, I am going to talk to the warden about this business.
We've had enough worries on your behalf and we're not going to take
any more. It is better that your parents should know what you're up to.'
Rabia was terse; Imama looked up at her.
‗What am I up to? What have I done?'
‗Done what? You say you're going home and disappear from the
hostel—that's nothing unusual for you.'
Imama did not reply. She began to undo the straps on the other foot.
‗I should have gone to the warden,' said Rabia as she moved towards
the door.
Javeria got up and stopped her. ‗We'll talk to the warden later. Let's
first talk to her—don't be hasty.'
‗But just look at her cussedness…her attitude. Not a trace of
embarrassment on her face,' Rabia gestured towards Imama; she was
furious.
‗I'll tell you everything; there's no need to get so agitated. I haven't
done anything wrong nor gone to any wrong place…and neither did I
run away.' Imama spoke softly as she released her feet from her shoes.
‗Then where had you been?' Javeria enquired.
‗With a friend.'
‗Which friend?'
‗There is one…'
‗Why did you have to lie?'
‗I wanted to escape your questions and if had told my family or asked
their permission, they would never have allowed me.'
‗Where did you go and why?' Javeria was mystified.
‗Didn't I say I'll tell you? Give me some time,' replied Imama.
‗Give you time so that you disappear again and perhaps not return this
time!' Rabia was still angry, but spoke less severely now. ‗You didn't
even realize you were putting us in an awkward position. Do you know
how humiliating it could be for us—have you any sense at all?' she
continued.
‗I never expected Baba to turn up here so suddenly, nor did I think it
would create an embarrassing situation for you—I would not have done
such a thing otherwise.' Imama's tone was repentant.
‗At least you could have trusted us and told us where you were going,'
added Javeria.
‗I'll never do this again,' promised Imama.
‗Well, I don't have any confidence in you or your promises,' said Rabia
brusquely.‗Rabia, let me clear my position—you are grossly mistaken,' Imama
replied weakly.
‗Do you realize that our careers and our lives are at stake? Is this what
you call friendship?'
‗All right, I made a mistake—I am sorry, forgive me.' Imama conceded
defeat.
‗Until you tell us where you had disappeared to, we're not going to
accept any apologies or forgive you.' Rabia was adamant.
Imama looked at them silently. After a while she said, ‗I had gone to
Sabiha's.'
Rabia and Javeria exchanged surprised glances. ‗Who?' they asked in
unison.
‗You know her,' replied Imama.
‗That fourth year student, Sabiha?' Javeria could not contain herself.
Imama nodded. ‗But why did you go there?'
‗She's my friend.'
‗Friend? What friend? You barely know her. You only meet her in
college; you don't even know what kind of person she is, and you go off
to spend the weekend at her place,' exclaimed Javeria.
‗And that too by deception—at least there was no need for you to lie to
us or to your family about this,' added Rabia. Her tone reflected her
anger.
‗You can call her up and ask her if I had been there,' offered Imama.
‗Fine, you were there, but may we ask why?' persisted Javeria.
‗I needed her help,' said Imama after a pause.
They looked at her, surprised. ‗Help with what?'
Imama looked up and stared at them without blinking. Javeria
squirmed. ‗What sort of help?' she repeated.
‗You know very well,' replied Imama softly.
‗I?' Javeria was somewhat taken aback; she looked at Rabia who was
watching her intently.
‗Yes, you know very well.'
‗Don't talk in riddles, Imama. Come out with it,' Javeria spoke sharply.
Imama looked at her quietly for a few moments and then lowered her
head—she had lost her case.
............
‗Tell me, what is your life's dearest desire?' That day Imama had
pursued Javeria.Javeria looked at Imama's face for a while and then said, ‗My dearest
wish is that you become a Muslim.'
A current shot through Imama—shocked and uncertain, she looked at
Javeria who spoke on softly, slowly.
‗You are such a dear friend, so close to me that it hurts to see you on a
misguided path…not just you, but your entire family. If God should
send me to heaven for any good deeds, then I would like you to be with
me—but it is essential that you be a Muslim.'
A myriad expressions passed across Imama's face. It was a while before
she could say anything.
‗Javeria, I did not expect that you would speak to me like Tehreem; I
thought you were my friend, but you too…'
Javeria interrupted her gently. ‗Whatever Tehreem told you then was
right.' Imama stared at her steadily: she was deeply hurt by Javeria's
words. ‗I wasn't friendly enough with you then to tell you, though I
wanted to, that I agreed with Tehreem. If she said that you aren't a
Muslim, she wasn't wrong—you aren't.'
Imama's eyes filled with tears. She got up abruptly, without a word.
Javeria stood up too. Imama tried to leave but Javeria grabbed her
arm.
‗Let go of my arm… let me go. Don't even try to talk to me again.'
Imama's voice was choked and she tried to free herself from Javeria's
grip.
‗Imama, try to understand what I am saying…'
But Imama did not let her finish. ‗You have really hurt me, Javeria. I
did not expect this of you.'
‗I do not want to hurt you: I am telling you the truth. Instead of getting
emotional or crying, just think objectively and coolly about what I said.
Why would I want to hurt you for no rhyme or reason?' Javeria did not
let go of her arm.
‗You may know why you're doing this, but what I know is that there's
no difference between you and Tehreem. In fact, you have caused me
more pain than her—she was not such a close and old friend as you.'
Tears streamed down Imama's face and she tried to wrest her arm out
of Javeria's grip.
‗You insisted that I tell you what was closest to my heart. This is why I
was not telling you—I even warned you that you would be upset, but
you assured me that you would not,' Javeria tried to remind her.
‗Had I known that this would be your reply, I would never have asked
you what your life's desire was,' Imama said angrily.‗Well then I shall never talk to you on this subject,' replied Javeria
defensively.
‗What does it matter? I know now what you think about me. Our
friendship can never be the same again. I have never criticized your
beliefs, but instead of considering my faith as being one of the sects of
Islam, you have put me outside the pale of the religion,' Imama said.
‗If that's what I'm doing, then I'm not wrong—all the sects of Islam do
share the belief that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is Allah's last
messenger and that prophethood ended with him.' Javeria too was
angry and upset now.
‗Mind your language!' Imama burst out.
‗I'm telling you the truth, Imama…and it's not only me…everyone
knows that your family changed its faith to acquire wealth. There's no
need to get so worked up—try to think objectively—try to reason…'
‗I have no need to think coolly over your words,' Imama interrupted. ‗I
know what's true and what isn't…'
‗You don't know anything, and that is the sad part,' retorted Javeria.
Imama said nothing. She pulled her arm away with a jerk and walked
away with quick steps. Javeria made no attempt to follow her. With
concern she watched her walk away—Imama was not given to such a
display of temper and this worried Javeria.
----------------------------------------------------
END OF THE CHAPTER