Jade's POV
The bustling hallway of Jefferson High faded into background noise as I leaned against my locker, my mind still reeling from the events of this morning.
"Uhm... I shouldn't have enjoyed it!" I blinked my eyes, feeling guilty as I thought inwardly.
I barely noticed when Juanita appeared beside me, her usual cheery grin faltering as she caught sight of my distracted expression.
"Earth to Jade! Hello?" Juanita waved her hand in front of my face, snapping me out of my daze.
"Girl, what is going on with you? You look like you have just seen a ghost." She inquired.
I bit my lip, glancing around to make sure no one was within earshot.
"Nita, I... something happened this morning. With Andrew." I muttered.
Juanita's eyes widened, eagerly.
"Spill. Now." She ordered me in a conspiratorial whisper.
Taking a deep breath, I leaned in closer, to her.
"We kissed," I confessed, my cheeks burning at the memory.
"What?!" Juanita exclaimed, quickly lowering her voice when a few heads turned our way.
"You and your soon-to-be stepbrother? Girl, that's... wow. How was it?" She asked.
I couldn't help the small smile that crept onto my face and Juanita smiled at me, with a knowing look.
"It was... amazing. Like, fireworks and butterflies and all those cliché things you read about in romance novels. But..." I stopped abruptly.
"But?" Juanita prompted, sensing my hesitation.
"But it is wrong, isn't it? I mean, we're going to be family soon. And this morning, when his dad almost walked in on us... I panicked. I pushed Andrew away and now I don't know what to do." I explained to her.
Juanita's expression softened.
"Jade, honey, I get why you're freaking out. It's a complicated situation. But can I be real with you for a second?" She began.
I nodded, bracing myself for her brutally honest advice.
"You have been crushing on Andrew since forever. And from what you haveve told me, it seems like he feels the same way. Yeah, the whole step-siblings thing makes it tricky, but you're not actually related. If you really like each other, maybe it's worth exploring?" She shrugged.
Her words sent a thrill of excitement through me, quickly followed by a wave of guilt.
I sighed, closing my eyes for a moment.
"I have to think of my mom. And that's exactly why this has to stop. My mom... she is so happy to be with Andrew's dad. I can't risk ruining that for her. I can't ruin her chances of being with her beloved, once again." I stated, instantly feeling so guilty for what had happened to my dad.
Juanita looked taken aback.
"What do you mean, not again?" She asked me.
I swallowed hard. I couldn't tell her the truth, could I? I didn't even know how or where to start.
"Erm, that? It is nothing, actually." I lied. And of course, my best friend caught on that I was hiding something.
She narrowed her eyes at me, wanting me to spill but I knew I couldn't. I didn't want to relive the moment that had never stopped haunting me.
"You won't understand, trust me. It is a long story." I told her, dismissively.
She stared at me for some seconds before nodding.
"Okay, if you insist on not telling me about it. I will respect your privacy." She told me with a small smile.
I smiled back at her, appreciatively.
"But are you sure about ending what you have for Andrew just like that? Maybe if you just talked to your mom..." Juanita was suggesting but I cut her short, before she could land.
"No, Nita. I've made up my mind. My crush on Andrew... it has to end. No matter how much it kills me inside." I told her firmly.
Juanita's expression softened, filled with concern.
"Oh, Jade. That's... that's really tough. Are you sure this is what you want?" She asked me with doubtful eyes.
"It is not about what I want, actually," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
"It is about what is right for my mom. I shouldn't and won't be the one to take this away from her, again." I muttered, sullenly.
The warning bell rang, signaling we had five minutes to get to class. As we started walking, I could feel Juanita's worried gaze on me.
"So, what are you going to do now?" she asked gently.
I took a deep breath, steeling myself for what I knew would be one of the hardest things I would ever have to do.
"I'm going to talk to Andrew. Tell him that what happened was a mistake, and that it can't happen again. We need to just be... siblings." I stated, feeling sad at the thought of what his reaction would be.
Juanita reached out and squeezed my hand.
"Jade, I'm so sorry. I know how much you like him. Are you sure there's no other way?" She inquired, again.
I shook my head, blinking back the tears that threatened to fall.
"There isn't. This is how it has to be." I gritted out.
As we parted ways for our respective classes, I could feel my heart breaking. The memory of Andrew's kiss, the way he made me feel... it was all I could think of.
I was trying so hard not to break down right there in the hallway.
Why wasn't I like every other girl whose first love actually turned out well and real?
Sliding into my seat for first period, I tried to focus on anything but the ache in my chest. One thing was certain – things between Andrew and me would never be the same again. And despite knowing I was doing the right thing for my mom, I couldn't help but mourn for what might have been.
"How blissful it would have been?" I mourned.
As I tried to focus on the teacher's words, the classroom door suddenly opened.
My heart skipped a beat as Andrew walked in, his eyes immediately finding mine. There was an intensity in his gaze that made my breath catch in my throat.
"Sorry I'm late," he muttered to the teacher, but his eyes never left me. I gulped as a result of the effect he was having on me.
As he made his way to his seat - just two rows ahead of mine - I could feel the weight of his stare. He sat down, but not before casting a longing glance over his shoulder at me.
His eyes were filled with an emotion I couldn't quite decipher - was it hope? Desire? Or something deeper?
I quickly looked down at my notebook, my cheeks burning. This was going to be harder than I thought. Every fiber of my being wanted to return his gaze, to lose myself in those eyes that seemed to see right through me. But I couldn't. I had to stay strong, for my mom's sake.
Just then, a folded piece of paper landed on my desk. My heart raced as I carefully unfolded it, making sure the teacher didn't notice. Inside, in Andrew's familiar handwriting, were five words that made my resolve waver:
"We need to talk. After class."
I looked up, meeting Andrew's eyes once more. He had turned in his seat, watching me intently. The look on his face told me everything - he wasn't going to let this go easily. And as much as I wanted to stick to my decision, I wasn't sure I had the strength to resist him.
"Oh God, how do I resist that bundle of gorgeousness?" I groaned.