"If you can create something, what will you choose? Awaii."
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I blinked again as I touched my forehead. It's been a while since I felt like this. Every time I wake up from the depths of sleep, I have a nightmare. No, it's not really a nightmare—I just can't remember it. But I know it's a long dream.
I yawned and rubbed my pale face with my shivering hands.
"So cold…" I shivered hard.
Today feels really cold. Or maybe I'm just a crazy person, walking at 5 a.m. just to meet someone. I know I was born in a tropical country, but my body isn't used to this kind of cold.
My jacket feels useless, but at least it protects my scratched hands.
It hurts a lot when my wounds press against the jacket.
But it's my fault. I'm the one who made the wounds without hesitation. So stupid when I think about it.
Today, I walked to the park again. There's a place where I used to meet him.
A foggy dam.
So pretty. The fog looks really aesthetic with the light of the sun burning through it, creating a colorful palette of purple and orange. I like this atmosphere—cold and gloomy, like me. Right?
I just stand here, waiting for him. As always, I stand beside the dam fence. It's quite scary if I look down. Every time I see the stagnant water that looks almost like an ocean, my brain always shouts:
"Just jump! Let's go, jump!"
I don't want to jump. It's really scary.
Why does my brain always shout like that?
Does anyone else feel this way, or is it just me?
The sun has arrived. It's like the light from it is trying to kill the stars above. The moon is slowly fading too. Too bad.
I suddenly think, why does daylight have to exist?
The night is really beautiful. The darkness, the galaxy with the stars painted in the sky, and that purple-blue color. My brown eyes have always been captivated by them since I was a little toddler.
But I'm too stupid to understand physics, so I didn't get into it much.
Oh right! I brought my new herbarium hanger. I will give it to him since he gave me the precious forget-me-not flower. My second favorite flower after tulips.
They don't belong here in this hot-weather country.
I almost thought he was like a hero.
But my brain snaps as I hear the sound of footsteps approaching from far away. The corners of my lips slowly lift upwards, making me reflexively look at him.
He's the one I always wait for every 5 a.m.
My dear new friend, Auvy.
I started walking towards him enthusiastically. Maybe it was a little childish because I was walking while jumping up and down with my hands in my pockets.
Don't be stupid.
This is how I walk since I wasn't raised properly.
I can't walk normally.
At least I've tried to learn, but I guess I can't.
"Morning, Auvy." I smiled at him.
He didn't answer. Just standing there, silent.
What happened? He didn't used to act like this. He's my dear Auvy, the one who's really sweet to me and always smiles softly.
Though my new dear friend is a quiet person, he's not usually this gloomy. I just stood in front of him with my awkward smile as always, waving my hand to say hello.
But he kept quiet. His eyes looked dark and empty. His eyebrows were lowered. His blonde hair looked tangled. His lips were trembling, and his aura had darkened.
"Auvy?" I called him again.
He just smiled wryly. "Finally, the day I had to do it has arrived."
"Huh?" I asked again, still not understanding what he meant.
He didn't answer. Instead, his hand suddenly hugged me tightly. I was really shocked. What happened to him? So suddenly?
I tried to shake off the confusion, but there was something wrong with my body. My stomach hurt so much. Red blood flowed from my mouth. Every corner of my body felt extremely cold, although his hug warmed me somewhat.
With my energy weakening, I tried to push him away. I felt so scared, like I was being thrown from a cliff and stabbing the ground with all my might.
I looked at the part of my body where the pain originated.
My eyes widened suddenly.
A long sword pierced my stomach, spewing thick red liquid all over my clothes.
"A…uvy?" I asked, shocked, with a trembling voice.
"Why?" I asked him again.
Faster than the speed of light, my eyes closed instantly. My consciousness began to fade, and my body swayed towards him.
"Forgive me, my dear. For all my sake, I've been trying to save you. Don't worry, this time it will succeed." He answered me in a weak tone as my life left my body.
***
Splash!
Blub blub blub.
"Ugh—"
"What…?"
Why? Am I drowning…?
It feels so deep. Just deep and deeper.
I saw the light blue water smeared with blood. My hands shot up. They mixed together like sweeping strands of color in a painting. I kept drowning, half-conscious, groaning in the water that continued to swallow me.
My chest felt tight and painful. Gradually, the atmosphere darkened and quieted.
"Cold…" I hugged myself, but it was in vain. The water kept stabbing me. I felt like crying, but I couldn't.
Is this one of the phases leading to death? Did Auvy just throw me into the dam?
Rather than feeling disappointed and hurt because of his betrayal, I felt…peace.
Blub blub blub blub.
Bzztt!
"What is this?!"
"Where am I?!"
My head suddenly blitzed. It hurt so much that it felt like something snapped inside my brain.
Memories?
Memories I didn't know I had flooded my head. They exploded like sparks from fireworks, appearing and disappearing in an instant.
I saw many people I didn't know, but somehow, I felt like I knew them. A lot of them.
From a woman with long blonde hair and a sweet smile, to boys with glasses smirking in a way that always made me angry. A pair of crystal ocean eyes I couldn't place. And the face of my dear best friend from junior high school, Exza.
"W-what does this mean?!"
Bzztt.
Suddenly, I was teleported. What now?! My eyes widened.
Here I stood, floating in the middle of a ruined ancient city. The sight around me was terrible. The city was devastated. Buildings were on fire. Hysterical screams of people trying to survive echoed everywhere.
Many corpses lay in piles. Almost all of them died without a trace. My hand slowly turned black, and darkness lifted from it. I suddenly felt hysterical too. Am I the one who did all of this?!
I screamed, "No! It can't be—No… No! No! No! No!"
Deg—bzzt.
In an instant, I moved again. This place is weird. It feels like I'm flying in the middle of space. Or should I say, is this a 4th-dimensional place?
It feels like I'm floating in emptiness. I feel very empty.
This is really confusing.
I feel like I know something, but I forgot it, so I tried to remember.
But the more I tried, the more impossible it became to remember.
A white, transparent rope suddenly tied my body. I couldn't move.
I tried to struggle to free myself, but it was no use. In fact, it tightened even more.
"What's this?! Hey—" I screamed, even though I knew it was impossible for someone to save me in this weird scene that almost feels like a dream or even a hallucination.
"Finally, you came back." A voice suddenly spoke from all directions.
My head turned this way and that, looking for the source of the voice. But no matter where I looked, there was nothing.
"I've been waiting. In this billionth time of dimension. And he succeeded. I'm really glad I can finally see you again." The voice smiled after saying that.
"W-who are you?!" I asked in a harsh tone.
I still couldn't see anything. Whose voice is this? Where is it coming from?
What does she mean by 'he succeeded'? Even Auvy said that before he killed me. This isn't a coincidence, right?
A woman the size of a giant suddenly appeared in front of me. Then her body shrank to normal size. She looked at me with a sad expression, then cupped my cheeks and pressed her forehead against mine.
"Welcome back, my dear star."
I was stunned.
Really stunned by everything happening around me.
She's so beautiful. Her skin is pale, as white as porcelain. Her eyes are light green with white pupils.
Her hair is very, very long. It's pure white with green tips. The color symbolizes purity within her. She wears a crown of twigs with red-and-white Lewis flax flowers adorning her head.
It also adorns her white dress, with green saturated color in every corner and decoration.
"What are you talking about—AAHH!!"
Before I could finish my words, the rope tying me immediately loosened, and I fell.
I was shocked, unable to understand what was happening. An overwhelming sense of fear gnawed at me.
My eyes looked upward, widening as they took in the sight. The woman cried, her tears slowly trickling down her cheeks. She still hovered above me, unmoving.
"See you at the end of your journey, our precious star," she whispered, concluding our conversation as she faded away into the darkness.
Somehow, she felt incredibly familiar. Who was she?
But there was no time to think about that. I was still falling, and my screams echoed endlessly.
"What the heck is happening to me?!"
"First, I got stabbed, then drowned, then I started remembering strangers I didn't even know existed, then I met a scary woman, and now I'm falling into darkness."
I know I'm a bit insane, but I'm not crazy or stupid!
"AAAAAHHHHH!!"
I kept falling until I arrived on a flat planet, with a smaller flat planet hovering above it. There was a tower that connected the small planet to the giant one below.
On the larger planet, I landed on a strange little island surrounded by three floating plains. The floating lands were connected by a long, translucent giant pipe, and inside it was a massive elevator with glass walls that couldn't be seen through.
"I'm scared," I hissed.
"Help!!"
"HELP!!!"
Wow! You idiot! No one will help me in a situation like this?
I looked down and realized that in just a few seconds, I would hit the ground inside a forest and die horribly. My head pounded with pain, and panic consumed me.
5 seconds.
"Stop."
4 seconds.
"It's enough..."
3 seconds.
"I'm tired of everything..."
2 seconds.
"..."
1 second.
I closed my eyes tightly in fear.
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"...."