Unknown Date:
It was another Friday; outside it was raining and snowing. Today Sho had only 4 hours of class, 1 hour of English, 2 hours of specialized math, and 1 hour of history. Although he hated most of those subjects, he was still very excited about going to school today.
The reason was that the person he loved used to be there. That girl whom he could only see during his math class since those specialized subject classes are made out of a few students from many different classes.
Sho is a weird person; he has led a weird life; his goals, if no context is given, could lead people to believe he was an actual sociopath. He had a way of thinking that was very unusual, to say the least. And a peculiar behavior.
Sho's parents were the cause of his abnormal behavior throughout the entirety of his growth from birth to childhood to the teenage years and later.
Sho's parents were good people, unlike most other humans. They held powerful moral values and provided Sho with the best education, as well as taught him how to live as a human being with emotions. They were strict yet loving. They were at the highest level of moral echelon when it came to their maturity and understanding of the human psyche—at least, they supposedly were. But the most important thing to remember about them is that they are pure-hearted humans and have taught Sho everything they possibly could.
Yet they never taught him that he was the only boy in his town who acted like a ''normal human being.''
People outside were dangerous; the world was a jungle, his father would often say. But it never stopped Sho from turning into a perfect kid. He engrossed himself in the times of adult life as soon as he could speak and walk on his own.
This brought him to a far superior state of maturity and wisdom when compared to kids his age. Hence, a recollection of his achievements and trials from birth till his last year as a teen seems appropriate. Since his story is one that has never been seen before!
Body age 6 years old:
Mental maturity, 10 years old:
social maturity, 17 years old:
psychological maturity—unknown
Trait of personality: shy, introverted with kids, extrovert with adults, charismatic, humorous, naive, faithful, curious, pure-hearted, ''arrogant''.
He behaved quite differently according to the audience before him. The truth is, he always felt uncomfortable around kids his age, even those older. Why? Because they were stupid, immature, dangerous, and inferior beings.
That's how Sho thought of kids as a kid.
Alright, I won't say he really thought of them as inferior beings as a 6-year-old; that would be a very sociopathic reasoning. Although an understandable one for a kid who's going to suffer hell from the very hands of those ''inferior beings''
Sho didn't have a big ego; instead, he was very modest and always criticized himself when he made a mistake. He believed that his belittling of those kids was simply his way of being honest and realistic. He could not stand them.
Besides being overly mature in advance compared to his peers, Sho was also a sentimental boy who had inherited his parents' traits. In his eyes, everyone was equal. He never judged homosexual people; instead, he respected and supported them. He was not racist; quite the opposite, he despised those who were. In fact, Sho harbored a bottomless pit of hatred in his heart for racists, homophobes, and bullies (thugs). He hated THEM.
THEM were also the kind of people who bullied Sho for being different—an introvert who had trouble speaking with others, often alone and unreasonably shy, yet kind and generous. How could he survive in such a place with that kind of heart? Sho's school was filled with bullies, and he stood out from the rest of the kids. He abhorred violence, was kind-hearted, small in stature, weak in strength, and had few friends. The bullies understood the assignment. Dead he was.
And so Death he sought. Peace, calm, rest. Death could give him all these delicacies, it promised him such luxuries in exchange for his soul.
They punched him, beat him up, insulted him, pushed him, mocked him, tormented him, and humiliated him every day, seizing every opportunity to do so, often in the shadows. Smart and cunning were these inferior beings, Sho must have thought. Did he regret underestimating them when they proved this dangerous? No, their numbers had given them strength, wits, and courage that alone they didn't possess. They also exploited Sho's weaknesses to their advantage. They remained inferior individually, but together, as numerous inferior beings, they became superior.
But the agony he felt when those bullies dared to humiliate him in front of everyone else was truly the most painful thing. Now people other than the bullies could see how weak and pathetic he was. He hated them so much, he wanted to kill them.
Cruel, unfair, and dark was this world where he lived, he realized soon. But too late for him...
The bullying at the elementary school went on for around 3 years. More than the physical pain, it was the mental suffering that was harsher to bear. Mental torture was grimmer than physical affliction; of course, it never ended. Humiliation, self-remorse, regret, feeling weak, questioning, overthinking, self-doubting, and guilt. They all haunted him, and he could never do anything about it.
Here's how Sho's life felt.
An endless cycle of never-ending turmoil, crushing waves of devastating reminders of reality, crashing down his feeble defenses, hardly protecting his mind from anything, drowning Sho in toxic waters. And even if he managed to swim up toward a semblance of happiness, the water would steal away at his life source with its poison, which never left his body.
Hope was not something he had the luck to rely on. Every time, every day was the same thing, over and over. The brightest days were as dark as a black hole, sucking in all the positive things around him. Only the dark light remained outside of the tunnel. He couldn't even wish to die; he hadn't been strong enough to try dying after his first and only suicide attempt at seven years old.
During his last year at elementary school, things started to ease; henceforth, hope was not a forsaken dream anymore but a revived one. He clung onto that tiny branch of hope that he saw; albeit as weak as he was, he poured all of his strength and forced his mind to survive and get through this last year. His dad told him middle school would be different, it would be better. He trusted him, Middle School could save him, he believed.
There was hope...
When he left elementary school, it left him broken and traumatized by humans. That last year was definitely better by a big margin when distinguished from the previous ones. But he had been suffering since his first year, and the longer the pain went on, the more it gnawed at him. Every day he would force a smile, that he had long, truly lost.
But he was on his way to being reborn anew! Right? Middle school...
If only Sho knew what was about to happen...
He was only at hell's doorway; middle school was its true placeholder.
Hope? Truly a good joke. Middle school, redemption? Rightfully False Hope Awoke.
Had Sho even been worthy of peace and joy? Had he not cried enough? Couldn't he already drown himself in his tears? His dad had told him that since kids in middle school were much older, they'd be more mature and would never cause him any trouble.
So why did they have to kill him?
Sho was dead, dead inside. four years, he had been through actual hell for four more years, eight years if you include the time he was bullied at elementary school. Those kids were even more vicious, and although he didn't get hit or beat up nearly as much, the mental pressure and pain were much greater. His mind was in shambles, poured into dust, completely shattered.
When it was his first day of school, he directly saw that the kids were even worse. They were more dangerous, aggressive, and less empathic to the pain they could inflict on each other. Kids who were supposedly friends never stopped insulting and hitting each other; hatred seemed to fill the air. If Sho was not their friend, then wouldn't they act a thousand times more gruesomely toward him?
He told himself: 'I must do my best not to let myself be bullied again, I won't be able to stand it a second time. I have to be perfect, perfect with everyone. I may not become friends with everyone, nor will that ever be the case, and it isn't my objective. But whenever I encounter someone, talk to someone, or take action, every time I do something in front of other human beings, I will have to be perfect. As to not attract attention, as to look good, as to not be bullied again. I'll have to manipulate everyone, including myself. I will have to be a different person.' He believed blindly.
'It doesn't matter if I have to learn and play a hundred different characters. I'll reach perfection. The perfection of mind and spirit, sociology and psychology—I'll master it all. I'll master handling relations with humans' He thought more fiercely.
On Sho's first day, he understood the assignment as well. He was inferior too. Humans were all inferior, to begin with. The meager time he had spent alive on earth had not truly been enough for him to be a ''superior being. So to achieve his goals, he would have to speed up his growth. Himself.
Even if it meant going through hell.