Since Sho finally awoke from his nightmare, he could now see how helllike his world and life were; he was now actually able to make true progress. But how? He now had two choices: either completely stop what he's been doing and live life as a normal human being, hence starting over but on good footing.
That means stopping trying to reach the so-called perfection and all the bullshit. Or continuing to pursue the bullshit and walk the hard way, filled with suffering, and maybe getting a better reward.
What in the fucking hell is even that reasoning, Sho?! Are you retarded? Are you mad? You've been suffering for half of your life because of those bad choices of yours, and now that you can finally change things and stop, you're wondering if you'd rather continue.
Sho was lonely; he had spent thousands, thousands, AND THOUSANDS of hours thinking, meditating on many abstracts, simple, familiar, complex, deep, stupid, dark, and concerning subjects. All alone, in his room. He was the only one in his freezing world. He loved adding questions to his collection—questions without answers, that is.
He had matured though. Things were not the same now; the way he thought had also changed. He saw clearer, further, but not out of reach.
Body age: 15 years; mental maturity: 40 years old; social maturity: 30 years old. Trait of personality: Too much.
Flaws: Endless
Human's trait: lost kindness, pure-hearted stillness, naivety. Perfectionist from head to toe.
The rest are...
???
???
???
Qualities: Not enough to his liking.
Charisma: Too great for the average human being to perceive it, he thinks.
Goals/Goal -??????
Sho made his choice; he was now set, more than ever, on not just one road but all of them.
He decided to mix the two solutions. HAHAHA, that's so like him; why should he be restricted in his choice after all? Of course, Sho would take both and make it into one great solution.
His focus was on becoming happy again; he had been stuck in a loop of mental pain for 5 years. Now that he had awokened, he wanted to change things for the better. Now he could do it.
So he started honing his skills even further without killing himself in the process; he just lived normally but enjoyed learning more about humans. When he made a mistake, he was not remorseful about it, sad, angry, or shameful about it. Instead, he was happy, making a mistake meant he would grow wiser, more mature, and more knowledgeable.
Mistake after mistake, humans adapted, learned, and grew to become complete beings past a certain age. Mistakes were a part of human life; Sho was not afraid of them anymore; he would take control over them.
As such, whenever he made an achievement, he accepted the happiness, yet craved for more. It was never enough; he'd work to achieve better. But not to the point of drowning. Learning how to become a professional swimmer took time, and here he was planning on becoming the best pro swimmer, so he took his time. With urgency.
1 year had passed; Sho was now 16. He hadn't grown much in his first year because it took him that long to escape hell. Only then, after escaping, could he grow and find happiness in the outside world.
And 1 year later, the evasion was a success.
When he got to his second year of high school's first day, he was nervous—quite literally, so nervous his body was as stiff as an iron streetlamp. Everyone noticed him, yet he never moved.
He only knew one person in his class, an old classmate from his middle school. The rest were unknowns—dangerous variables they could have been, but no. It was his first day of school, and he had no reason to overthink or to start analyzing everyone, so he just calmed down and did nothing.
Nonetheless, he still paid attention to the conversation those people had. He couldn't hear anything important. SHIT! He was already eavesdropping again. 'Calm down; just act normal; be normal; you are normal, Sho; remember that.'
As the minutes went by, in the corridor, the bell rang. The teachers were coming, and the kids all entered the classroom; most of them sat together or even in groups of four, all lined up on a single ranged chair and desk line. Sho was alone to change things.
He willingly—or rather had no choice but to sit at the very front of the class in the middle rows of chairs and desks at the very left. Information was given, including their timetable and teachers list as well.
A shitload of papers to sign up or fill in, and a few tasks to do to be well-registered as a second year. Just the usual assignment that every teen has to pass for their first day back to school.
This was what is called the ''pre-back-to-school day.'' It lasted 4 hours for the first year, and 2 hours for all the other ones, as they were already accustomed to the school system and environment.
The true back-to-school day was after this one, on the next Monday. The following Monday, when Sho started French lessons, the teacher decided to give him a headache by placing the pupils in alphabetical order. Sho had to sit in the front row, on the far right, next to his old classmate.
I'm going to kill her; I'm going to fucking kill her. Why are you making this so difficult for me? For fuck's sake, why?
Sure enough, he started feeling like his old classmate was talking about him to his friends behind him. Not only was he forced to sit next to a thug, but that thug even had thug friends behind him. How freaking unlucky is this shit??
'Calm down, now calm down; it's only the first day, the first hour; he can't do anything to me right away; I'll find a solution soon.' As the first hour ended, it was break time before the second hour of French class; hence, the student could either stay in the class, leave and go outside, or just stay in the corridors. Most moved and went into the corridor; Sho didn't budge and just stayed there, a look of death in his eyes. A look he had started harboring since middle school as a sort of protective barrier from the outside world.
'NO, NOO I can't keep on acting like that, I must act friendly to him; he's not a real bully, just a funny type of thug that makes jokes in front of everyone without fear or shame, he's a clown, not a bully; hence, I can fake befriending him, without fear, too.' He thought with low confidence.
When suddenly...
''Hey mate, how's it going? I saw you were alone, so I wanted to talk with you. My name is Valentin.''
'Wh-w-what' Sho was taken so aback that he stuttered even in his thoughts.
'What's this weird vibe that's emanating from this guy? It's like honesty blended with humanity.'
This guy... He's different. I can read him; he's acting cool, but the way he does it is natural, not by arrogance or to give the other person any sort of impression; he's doing it by instinct to survive as well.
Obviously, this guy didn't know that; it was just a sign that he had received a great education and that he was being careful, like Sho.
Deep in his heart, Sho felt directly at ease with the man.
'He feels natural, and the way he looks at me... It's not a look of despise, disgust, or even mockery; it's just sympathy and curiosity.'
'This guy, he has a good heart; I can befriend him for real!'