He stiffened under my touch, i could even feel the sharp change in his breath. I gulped as he slowly pulled away. I was afraid of the words that would come out of his mouth, what is he going to say? How will it affect me?
He speaks softly, 'I already …'
'Told me not to develop any kind of feelings towards you?' I interrupted him with a question, heart heavy with anxiety, 'But I'm sorry because I can't seem to control my heart, and it keeps falling for you.'
Silas ducked his head, 'I cannot reciprocate your feelings. I don't feel love, I don't have emotions and I never will.' He muttered apologetically, looking up at me with unemotional eyes, 'You will end up hurting yourself.'
Why did I say that? What was I expecting? I felt embarrassed, clenching my teeth, 'Do you have to say that to my face? You can't even pretend to at least care?'
'What's the use of lying?' He raised his voice, 'A lie will forever be a lie.'
'I do not care.' I shouted him down, 'I do not care, but you are right. I should keep it at the back of my mind that you are not human but a monster. I can't wait for the night of the double moon to appear so we can be done with this.'
With those words, I stormed off.
His eyes followed my retreating figure and he gave out a heavy sigh.
Lord Gras was awaiting me outside. I shot him a glare and strut off, he followed me closely,
'Forgive me for asking but did something happen to you?'
His question triggered me, making me stop and flicked around frustratedly, 'Do I look fine to you? Does my face tell you that I am in the mood to care about your questions?'
'I…' he opened his mouth to respond but cowardly lowered his gaze.
Seeing him like that made me realize my mistake. I sighed regretfully and inched closer to him, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, 'Arya was lucky to have you as a husband and I am glad that she had someone like you in her life when she passed away. Your love keeps her alive so thank you, for loving her like you did.'
My words brought tears to his eyes, he was clearly struggling to keep his composure.
'It's okay, you can let it out.' I consoled him, slowly wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders.
When Aria hugged Mikael, it reminded him of Arya; their smell, the similarity in their touch, how they felt. He knew it was improper and yet, he could not hold himself back from hugging her.
Mikael wrapped his arms around me tightly and in a few seconds, hot tears started flowing down my back, drenching my dress.
We remained in that position for a while and when he had let all his pain out, he pulled away with a grateful smile,
'Thank you, I needed that.'
I smiled contentedly, 'You deserve it.'
I turn to leave but felt his hand grasping mine, i swivel to face him with a puzzled expression,
'You need something?'
'Don't love him.' He whispered, now raising his voice, 'Do not love him, he is not right for you.'
The fact that I had to hear this twice feels like I had been stabbed in the gut and the knife was twisted.
I flinched, chuckling bitterly as I pull my hand gently out of his grasp, 'Don't worry, I can handle myself.'
I give him a nod and sail off, turning into the corner and breaking into tears. I dashed to my bedroom before anyone could see me and locked the door.
Why am I crying?
Later that evening, Lord Ayke requested an urgent meeting with me. I met him at the throne room where we discuss privately.
When I entered the room, he was standing by the window, gazing upon the blue starry sky. The sound of my footsteps brought him back to the present, he faces me with an unreadable expression,
'How are you?'
'Can we just skip the we-care-about-each-other part and tell why I am really here?' That was rude, I regretted my tone but there's no coming back.
My words butchered whatever fatherly affection Ayke was about to display to me. He nodded his understanding, taking a deep breath, 'Earlier, I couldn't tell you one truth but after what I saw today between you and ..' he paused, brooding, 'You've grown rather very close to your husband.'
'And?' I shrugged, 'Is that not my role as his wife?'
'This marriage is a farce, it was a necessary step for Silas to get you close to him. You are nothing other than his dragonkeeper and in a few days, your job will be done and that is it for you, he would toss you aside like you never existed.'
Like an arrow, Ayke's harsh unrequested opinion pierced my heart. I scoffed in disbelief, 'This is the third time.' I mumbled.
He caught wind of my words, 'Who else said something? Silas?'
'Why am I here, Lord Ayke?' I questioned solemnly.
He sighed, fixing me with his eyes, 'You are stubborn, it is a trait you inherited from your mother and it can't be helped so let me be frank with you. A dragon and his dragonkeeper cannot in anyway share an intimate relationship, it is forbidden.'
Why am I shocked?
He's now piqued my interest, 'Why though?'
I asked with desperation which caught Ayke off guard but he quickly composed himself, 'One can never change the words written on a stone, a dragon and his dragonkeeper are forbidden to fall in love and if they defy the rules, they will pay gravely for their actions. The world would be affected, chaos will take over. You will ruin everything so please, please Aria, do not let yourself feel anything for that man, your responsibility is to serve him and once you are done, that is it! If a dragon's heart beats for his keeper, you will both be cursed.'
Ah, so that is the reason why Silas keeps holding himself back whenever he becomes intimate with me?
It is finally clearing out; making sense.
'Rest well.' He gave me a nod and sailed out. My now glazed eyes followed his retreating figure. I could not go back to my room, I don't want to spend another second in this castle, I feel suffocated in here.
I snuck into the servant's quarters, stole some male clothings, changed to that and went into town.
The worn-out off-white shirt and brown pants did a good job at masking my identity. I tied my hair and donned the smelly brown barret - god, whoever this clothes belongs to is in dire need of financial assistance.
I was trekking aimlessly, unable to decide where to go when I turn a corner only for me to bump into someone, I look up, taking stock of a familiar face.
'Oy, oy, if it isn't our very own her majesty, it is a pleasure to meet you, here, late at night.' Lady Camelia smirked rather ruefully and gave me a short nod.
I rolled my eyes disgustingly, 'Strip away the decorum, we both know it doesn't suit your hypocritical nature, can't really hide who we are, can we?'
She shrugged, 'I can't say I understand. Do you perhaps have time for a conversation?'
I was reluctant but still decided to follow her back to the brothel. We headed upstairs to her office. I sat down, looking around, 'It is still the same.'
'And as you are.' She shot me a smile, 'Tea?'
I squeezed my face with revolt, 'This late?'
'Ah forgive me, I have forgotten you are now THE QUEEN.' She waddled back and settled down on her chair behind the desk, 'So, how did you do it? How did you manage to seduce and marry the king in less than a year. It just feels impossible, even for someone who has spent all her life learning all the possible ways to capture a man's attention and yet you made it look too easy, making me question all the years, blood, sweat, and tears I put into becoming who I now am.'
I couldn't care any less, shifting in my seat, crossing my legs, 'You told me that the king paid and commanded you to get those scoundrels to start a riot in the town, I need to know the truth, did you lie about it?'
'Why? Are you perhaps growing affectionate towards your husband, the king?' She smirked.
I frowned, 'Give me an answer!'
Camelia softly chuckled, 'Why don't you ask him then?'
I chuckled too, gaze shifting to the hair pin on the desk.
At the blink of an eye, I got to my feet, taking the hair pin, yanking Camelia by her silver necklace and pulled her, putting the sharp edge of the pin dangerously close to her jugular,
'You keep forgetting one thing about me, I am Aria and I am now YOUR Queen, when I ask a goddamn question, what I want to hear is a fucking answer. Do not try to be smart with me else…'
I growl like a maniac, 'Your blood will paint this entire desk.'