One day, I once asked someone a strange and absurd question that was unusual for me to say. Because at that time, I was only 10 years old. However, even though 5 years have passed since then, I still remember it very clearly.
"Hey, grandma, how do we differentiate between good and evil people?"
"Hmm?" She looked puzzled by my question. But she wasn't angry and instead asked back, "why are you asking that, Will?"
And I answered without hesitation, "I can tell that my family is good. Mom, dad, Maria, grandpa, and grandma are all good people. But that's because I spend a lot of time with you all, so I know you."
"What does that have to do with your previous question?"
"I was just thinking, can I know if someone is good or evil just by meeting them once? If I can do that, how do I do it?"
"So, you want to know how to determine if someone you just met is good or evil in a short time?"
"Yeah, because I can't spend my time on everyone. From the beginning, I spent the most time with my own family and hardly ever found a friend," at that time I still hadn't practiced music, and I was still hesitant to approach Beatrice. So I didn't lie to my grandma at all.
But my grandma seemed to doubt something, she looked confused and stared at me. And after waiting for a while, she instead asked again, "do you want to make sure everyone around you and start screening them one by one? If they are good, you will stay, but if they are evil, you will run away from their lives? Am I wrong?"
"If grandma says that, it seems a bit true. But more precisely, I just don't want to have problems with someone."
"Do you think that good people can't cause problems in your life?"
"Isn't it that evil people are the ones who cause problems? Are good people too?"
"Yeah... Think about it, has your mother ever been angry with you?"
"She has."
"Does it bother you?"
"..."
"You're just silent, and that means you are bothered."
"Not bothered, more like there's a strange emotion that arises in my heart every time it happens. But I keep holding it in because I don't know what would happen if I didn't."
After that, my grandma smiled and replied, "you are truly a kind person, will."
"...," I fell silent while pondering those words.
While my grandma continued her words.
"Will, this is just an old woman's thoughts, but I think this will help you in the future."
"...," I just stayed silent and listened.
"In my opinion, whether someone is good or evil cannot be determined just like that. In this world, there are causes and effects of everything that happens in this world. Just like now, I'm talking about this because you asked first, would I talk about this if you didn't ask that strange question earlier?"
"I don't think so, it would be strange if that happened."
"That's how it is with humans too, it would be strange if humans did something without a reason. Good and evil are related to a person's morals. Do you think bad people lose their morals for no reason?"
"Are you saying that you can forgive the actions of an evil person just because they did it for a reason?"
"It depends on the reason."
"Isn't that a foolish act?"
"Then do you think a tiger that kills its prey is an evil creature?"
"No... That's just how it survives."
"That's how it is with humans too."
"..."
"I'm not saying that doing evil is not wrong. There is always a choice more than committing a crime. But there will always be people who do evil. Because that's how the world has been from the beginning. You learn about positives and negatives in school, right?"
"Yeah."
"How can negative 1 become 0?"
"Added by positive 1."
"That's its... it's the world, negative and positive, two things that balance everything in the universe. Without balance, the universe will collapse."
"So evil is also needed in this world?"
"Yes... Evil creates heroes, heroes create safety, safety creates comfort, comfort creates peace, peace creates laziness, laziness creates ignorance, ignorance creates stupidity, stupidity creates evil. That's why I said to you from the beginning, everything in this world has causes and effects."
"Stupidity creates evil?"
"Yeah, there are some people in this world who think that the titles obtained from schooling are useless, but most job industries require that title. Although many other jobs can be obtained without schooling, do you think they can get that job? Side jobs like yours? Do you think life is just straight like an unrolled thread? No one knows about the future, that's why preparation is needed. And sometimes when something unexpected happens in someone's life, their morals will be played at that moment and they will end up having to choose one of the two. To endure being a good person but living in full torment, or to commit evil to quickly solve the problem. This is just one example of hundreds or even thousands of different scenarios. That's why I told you earlier, stupidity creates evil."
"Does that mean being foolish is wrong..."
"No, being foolish is not wrong, what is wrong is a foolish person who never tries to learn to become smart. That's why you have to study hard at your school, then be a smart person so you never have to consider your own morals as a human."
"Does that mean being lazy is something very bad?"
"More than bad, because laziness is among the 7 deadly sins. Laziness creates ignorance, laziness also maintains ignorance, so being lazy is very bad. That's why, Will, don't be lazy."
"How do I do that?"
"Find your goal, focus on your goal, achieve your goal, and when you reach your goal one day, after that you can rest and even be lazy is not a problem at that time. But before you become lazy and buried for rest, enjoy the process towards your goal, which is by enjoying your life. So Will, may I ask you on thing?"
"What, grandma?"
"What is your life's goal?"
After that, I fell silent and couldn't say anything. Not because I was hesitant, but from the beginning there was nothing I could think of in my head at that time.
My grandma's attention suddenly diverted by my mother's voice shouting because something happened in the kitchen of my grandma's house at that time. Making my grandma have to leave me alone sitting there, looking at the backyard view of my grandma's house while pondering and questioning myself.
"What is my life's goal?"
But until now, even after 5 years have passed, I couldn't answer that question. Until my grandma passed away and I realized that the answer to that question would never reach my grandma forever. Because she had passed away even before I found the answer.