"Fool!" The thing declares.
As if anyone really cares.
It's kind of irritating, hearing it talking so much.
I reach the chunk of wood on the floor.
It's got a good heft to it.
Maybe a bit unwieldy, but I'll make it work.
I swing the stick with both hands in a wide arc, bringing the other side of it up toward the proto-lich's jaw.
I'm rewarded by the sound of a loud crack and a surprised yelp from the undead creature.
His jaw spirals through the air as he crashes to the ground.
Now that's much more effective indeed.
To his credit, though, at least he doesn't shatter into dust with one good hit.
He glowers at me as he staggers to his feet.
"For that, I'll ensure you all wish you were flayed. Starting with you."
A shame, but his magic lets him speak without a jaw. Which I suppose makes sense, given he has no lips or tongue or...any of the other fleshy things involved in talking.
Still disappointing, though.
Blue energy surrounds the broken skull as he thrusts his arm out.
An equally blue burst of light shoots from his finger, sending me stumbling back a few steps.
When I've regained my footing and brushed the last of the dirt from my clothing, I lift my wooden club and test it's weight in my hands.
No difference in damage.
...How annoying.
I thought this might be the start of a new stage, but if it is, he's just as incapable of doing any damage to me as before.
Not that I relish the idea of being in pain.
But pain is just a part of conquering this world the right way, struggling to endure pain is part of the challenge.
If he can't even cause me pain, much less harm, he's not even a threat.
I sigh in frustration, hefting my club. "What was that?"
"A lightning spell, Master!" The System Helper happily chirps up, instead of the lich I was speaking to.
"It's one of the many different types of elemental magics you're capable of using, too! Really, Master, you'd be defeating him much faster if you used magic!"
'Why would I know any magic?'
I don't have time to be distracted by her right now, but that statement is especially weird.
Why would I have any magic at all?
"You have complete Elemental Mastery, Master! That means if you just try to use any spell your mind will make it work!!"
'The hell I do.'
I step up to the pseudo-lich and swing my club down.
A blue-white glow erupts from its fingertips.
The spell bursts forth, connecting with me once again.
This time, though, it's a lot more pronounced.
The club shatters into pieces, and I lift my arm instinctively to shield my face from the splinters.
Miraculously, the chunks of wood bounce off of me harmlessly or miss.
It goes without saying this weakling's spell still does nothing to me.
Fortunately, Kael strikes the lich before it can start gloating.
It's not with a club, but crashing bodily into the lich counts as a sort of blunt force damage, I suppose.
It's certainly effective enough as the proto-lich sails into a nearby wall - the staircase I initially climbed up to the coffin - with a loud crunch.
It seems to only daze him, though.
This is the most pathetic stalemate I can imagine.
"Keep him distracted with me." Kael says, glancing over at me. "Just a little longer."
I...
What?
I can't question it right now, though.
The lich fires more of his lightning at us. Kael leaps out of the way. I'm not dignifying his attack with that even if I need the practice.
The lightning does work like a flash bang. Or...flash, anyway. A brief smokescreen. That'd be dangerous if this joker had ever managed to cause me a twinge of pain.
When my vision clears, sure enough, the lich is much closer to me. Eyes burning with blue fire glower at me. I get the distinct feeling he's squinting, despite the lack of eyelids.
"What...are you?"
The lich's voice echoes slightly, reverberating off of the cavern walls and bouncing in the empty spaces around us.
"Bored." I grab the lich's skull in my hand - because now I really have nothing else - and forcibly shove him backward into Kael, who has bent over slightly.
The lich tumbles head over heels again, angry squawking filling the air.
"Why! You! I'll-!"
"NOW!" Elara shouts.
I turn my head just in time to see Elara and Arin posing with their hands together, and beams of light shoot out at the lich.
Kael yanks me physically out of the way, by the collar.
I end up in a pile with the rogue, laying on my back on the ground, staring upward just in time to see three light beams come together over the skull of the lich.
They swirl around his head in rapid circle that makes it look like it's creating a halo over the top of him from where I'm looking.
There's a flash of light.
The lich burns away like an ant under a magnifying glass, with white fire instead of the black or red I've seen tossed around all battle.
As I push Kael off of me, I hear the sound of someone collapsing.
...And our healer is once again on the ground.
I sigh and shake my head.I'd say Arin isn't meant for adventuring if he's collapsed twice against an enemy so weak that he couldn't manage to do damage to any of the rest of us in a whole fight, but apparently he did just do some kind of anti-undead spell. And that's more than I've managed.
Embarrassing, but not unexpected enough to dwell on.
"...So are we going to the second dungeon?" I ask, using the stair-wall to pull myself back up to my feet.
"Arin is clearly not capable of continuing to fight." Kael glares at me, voice just shy of snapping.
Elara, for her part, gives an exasperated sigh. "We haven't found the loot yet!"
Well.Alright.
I'm challenge motivated, not loot motivated, but at this point it's undeniable I could do with a weapon that's effective against something more than base level trash.
I run my fingers through my hair and give a short nod. "Right. Will we have to carry that guy, then...?"
Elara shakes her head. "No, he'll be fine in a few minutes. Give him time to recover his magic points."
Note to self. If I ever use magic, I need to make sure I don't run out of MP. Collapsing like that in battle would be deadly.
Also embarrassing.
Especially if I die.
"In the mean time..." Elara walks toward me and squints at me, hands on her hips. "How did you just take all those blasts?"
Before I can respond, the ever-helpful System Helper chirps in my brain. "That's because you have Absolute Defense, Master!"
Absolute.
What.