"But I am not a boy"
I slapped my face after hearing his words to wake myself up from the dream, Seriously just because he looked cute doesn't mean I should dream him as a girl.
There is something wrong with me, I had doubts but it looks like I am completely messed up in the head.
I don't think I am gay but is it because I was a virgin in my previous life that I can't control my lust after seeing a beautiful boy, I mean normally people don't dream of their friend like this.
Even after slapping myself many times, I didn't wake up from the dream, Peter looked shocked seeing me slapping myself. If it was Leila she would have grabbed my hand to stop me.
Speaking of Leila I haven't seen her since our fight which was in fact a good thing but sometimes I felt a little lonely remembering how she cared and acted like my big sister, unlike Myra.
Of course, Leila's kindness was because of gratitude and not genuine kindness. It's also true that my action of distancing herself just because of this might look like utter nonsense.
Kindness whether it is genuine or not is kindness at the end of the day, I was being hot-headed that day and spoke more than I should but the result of my actions was not bad.
I mean if she stayed with me she would be affected by me, she would not be able to marry or have a good partner. Unlike Leila who is an adult my other friends are young and a child so it didn't matter much to them.
I was trying to distract myself from the reality in front of me by thinking about other things but it looks like he didn't let me do that.
"St-stop thinking and pay attention to me"
"You have grown guts speaking to me in this manner"
When I said this his fierce expression shrank and his head looked down just like a scared hamstring, I wasn't trying to scare him by saying this but I was genuinely surprised at how much he had changed in the short time.
My impression of him was a kid who was more of an introvert than a coward, I thought he would never open up to me but something changed in him too.
Whether it be Adrian, Peter and Jack they were changing and slowly becoming a better version of themself slowly, I think the people around the kid are more important than the environment.
I think I am at least a good influence for them, I was not bragging about myself but doing a genuine observation after seeing them over the years.
"Sor-sorry"
He slowly apologised in fear, I don't know why but I am starting to love teasing him after seeing him quiver in fear. Has something dangerous awakened in me too?
It looks like I am also growing but in a completely different direction, Is this the birth of the sadist devil?
I don't get the feeling of teasing someone else other than him so I think he has the attributes for being an M, It looks good to combine it with the title Peter-the wriggling worm to make Peter- the M worm.
I think the name could be much better but I would take the time to think about it some other time, I have a much more important task right now.
"Peter"
"YES"
Hearing me suddenly speaking to him he suddenly shrieked like a girl, I was flabbergasted why I didn't pay much attention to his voice before this reveal.
Jack was indeed right about me not paying much attention to people, I could now see why he said my eyes looked like I think of others as nothing.
When I usually look at others I assign them by importance to me, I throw people who are not important to me out of my mind. I usually look at people who are not familiar to me as data and delete things that don't concern me.
In my old world Earth, much research has been done on the brain but less research has on how consciousness and memory are related,
According to an article in Scientific American, the average adult human brain has a memory capacity of 2.5 petabytes or 2.5 million gigabytes. This is significantly larger than the largest hard disk, which can only hold 10,000 gigabytes.
But in my eyes, this is all nonsense, new research comes every day and gets disapproved another day.
I've been thinking about this like this a lot recently just like my old world. I arrived at a single conclusion in the end, I think the reason for addiction and habits is dopamine.
Just like how dopamine can be the reason for drug addiction it can also be the reason to become a reason for improvement in intelligence.
Reinforcement learning is the method to change our body as much as we want through subtle influences on our brain.
I believe that most people have an additional layer on top that allows us to extrapolate and question what we call consciousness. The surprising part is that not everyone is capable of doing this.
It is also the only final end for...
My thoughts were interrupted when Peter came very close to me when I called him, Even though I had thought of so many things only a second passed in reality.
He was trembling not because he was afraid of me, but more like being afraid was his nature.
I thought of many things in this split second, I was afraid for him to be hurt by my question but I had to solve the doubts that had come in my head.
Sorry my dear friend but even though you gave me your favourite candy, I have to do this to quench my rising curiosity.
I know curiosity killed the cat but in this case, he was not even capable of killing a mouse.
"Peter Are you a Transg-"
"SHUT UP"