I check into the hotel, my heart pounding like a drum. The receptionist barely looks up as she hands me the key card, but to me, it feels like the whole world is watching. I swipe the card and push open the door to my room, stepping into the dimly lit space.
The room is luxurious, but not overly so—a king-sized bed with crisp white sheets, a small sitting area by the window, and a minibar stocked with tiny bottles of overpriced liquor. I drop my bag on the floor and take a deep breath, trying to steady myself.
I hurriedly dig into my overnight back and rush into the adjoining bathroom. I change into a more comfortable outfit and hesitate for only a second before deciding to switch to a sexier pair of bra and panties. My hands shake as I fix my makeup, check my hair, and slap on a small bit of perfume for good measure. What's wrong with me tonight? Why am I so nervous?
I finish and drop onto the end of the mattress, but I sit for only a few seconds before my nervous energy winds me back up and I have to move. Time drags on as I wander around the room, touching everything and nothing at all.
A knock on the door jolts me out of my thoughts. My heart skips a beat as I walk over, hesitating for just a moment before pulling it open.
There he stands—Yoon Seonho, with that confident smile that could light up an entire city block. His eyes meet mine, and for a second, all my doubts melt away.
"Hey," he says, his voice smooth and warm. "Can I come in?"
"Of course," I manage to say, stepping aside to let him enter. He walks in with an easy grace, looking around the room before turning back to me.
"Nice," he comments, his smile widening. "Your choice?"
I nod. "I book my own accommodations most of the time."
I close the door behind him and we both look when the audible click of the lock slides into place. Seonho looks at me and I look at him. His eyes are that darkened color, intense.
I planned to say something, to get comfortable and take my time. But that isn't what happens.
* NSFW CONTENT*
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***
The door clicks shut behind Seonho, leaving the room suddenly and profoundly quiet. I stand there for a moment, my breath still ragged, heart racing from the whirlwind of what just happened. My fingers brush against my lips, still tingling from his kisses.
I walk over to the bed and sit down, the sheets crinkling under me. The room feels emptier without him, like the energy he brought in has evaporated, leaving a void in its place. I stare at the closed door, replaying the night in my mind.
That was … shit, it was some of the best sex I've ever had. I can't deny how much I enjoyed it, how alive it made me feel. But now that he's gone, doubts creep in.
Was this a mistake? I wonder, biting my lip. Was it too soon to be with someone else after Jaewook?
I get up and start pacing the room, trying to shake off the uncertainty. I walk over to the window and pull back the curtains, letting in the cool night air. The city lights twinkle below, indifferent to my turmoil.
"What am I doing?" I mutter to myself, leaning against the window frame.
I think about Jaewook and how things felt so different with him. I thought that was going somewhere and then it … didn't. With Seonho, it was raw and electric, but does that mean it was less meaningful?
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. I'm overthinking this.
Why am I doing this to myself? Why can't I just enjoy what happened without overthinking it?
Maybe it's because I've been burned before. Maybe it's because I know how quickly things can turn sour in this industry. Or maybe it's because, deep down, I'm afraid of getting hurt again.
But Seonho isn't Jihyun. And neither is Jaewook.
I shake my head, trying to clear away those thoughts. It doesn't matter right now. This could turn out to be just a hookup for both of them and then I'll have been here moping like an idiot.
I certainly wouldn't have the best impression if I was Seonho. Even if it was fantastic, what we did was definitely hooking up. Christ, I hadn't even had a conversation with him before pulling him into bed.
I put my face in my hands and groan. I've basically pigeon-holed myself into booty-call zone.
My phone buzzes just as I'm about to crawl into bed. I frown, glancing at the screen. Unknown number. I almost ignore it, but something tells me to pick up.
"Hello?"
"Hey, it's Seonho."
I sit up so fast I nearly drop the phone. "Seonho? How did you—"
"I might've snuck your number into my phone before I left," he admits, his voice carrying that familiar playful lilt.
I smile and snort. "Why you tricky boy."
"Couldn't help myself," he says, and I can hear the grin in his voice. "I wanted to make sure I could see you again."
I feel a warmth spread through my chest at his words. "You want to see me again?"
"Absolutely. Tonight was … well, it was fucking amazing."
"It was," I agree, biting my lip.
"So, how about it? Another date?" he asks, his tone hopeful.
"Did what we do tonight count as a date?" I tease, smirking.
"Okay, an actual first date, then. One where we sit down and interact like human beings before we start fucking."
"You talk as though the fucking is a given."
"If it's not, I'm not above begging. Seriously, I think I might die if I don't get to fuck you again."
I giggle, biting my lip and feeling giddy like a schoolgirl. It's ridiculous. But I feel all light and fluttery inside.
I hesitate for only a second before answering. "Sure. I'd like that."
"Great," he says, sounding genuinely pleased. "How about tomorrow? Are you free?"
I think for a moment, mentally running through my schedule. "Yeah, I can make time."
"Perfect," he replies. "I'll text you the details in the morning."
"I'll be looking forward to it," I say softly.
"Me too," he responds, and there's a sincerity in his voice that makes my heart flutter.
We exchange a few more pleasantries before hanging up, and as I set my phone down, I can't wipe the smile off my face. The room feels a little less empty now.
Maybe I didn't completely screw it up. I look down at my phone and think briefly of Jaewook. I would've liked that to turn into something, if I'm being honest, but I'll take a date with Yoon Seonho instead. Happily.
I'm not getting my hopes up. It's not that serious. It's exciting, and I'd sure like to see more of Seonho, but I know how these things go. I'll enjoy every moment I get and accept whatever it results in. That's really all I can ask for.