I could sense his hatred, his unwavering nerves. What did I cause? Dead lover? Dead family? Dead faith? Probably all of them. I want to apologise and it kills me I can't. His eyes filled with simple rage. He twitched when I touched him. He felt something. Just like I did, he sensed me. But my heart pounded ever so loudly, and his stopped. Fell silent. Adrenaline rushed through my bulging veins. It's been months since I felt this alive. I need his destiny. He may not need me, but the Gods know I need him. I hold onto his arm and pray.
Give me you.
"You were blessed, and this is how you live?"
He forced out a sarcastic chuckle, coughing on the sand from a distant sandstorm. He asks so many questions.
"You're a joke"
I know I am, but I'm desperate. I cry out only a breath in attempts of a response.
"What?"
He seems frustrated. I don't blame him, I don't understand myself either. Nonetheless, I write in the sand, holding onto his arm in case he escapes. I write but it blows away. I write again, deeper. A tear drops onto the sand but it's not enough. It's never enough, neither am I.
"Look. I couldn't care less for your derisory apology. You've caused enough damage."
My heart dropped. It sounds different when it comes from someone else. It sounds heartfelt. His disappointment overshadows me. If only I had met him before. Perhaps I would've sensed it. Perhaps he could've warned me to beware of love. A lover. A friend. He's still my friend. I still love him. He still loves me. He still needs me. I need this man. I don't care if he hates me. I don't care if I'm being selfish. I grip his arm stronger.
"Let go."
I shake my head.
"For God's sake just let go!"
I stay. I look up into his eyes. I need him to understand. I see his ocean eyes shy a catch of light. I'm tall for a girl, but he's tall for a man. Even on my tiptoes, there's distance. He's at least 6 foot, probably a bit taller. Kallias was 6 foot. 6 foot of gorgeousness. I mouth a beg, and breathe.
"Do whatever. Don't hold me responsible if anything happens to you."
I know my eyes are glimmering. I know I have lilac eyes, I know because I was reminded everyday for 6574 days. Every day until my 18th birthday. Though that day I was reminded that it was my day. My once in a life time. I was wearing white. Adorned in gold and lilacs. I feel sad at the mention of lilacs. Glad there aren't any within this furnace of a land. This man feels pain seeing the colour of my eyes, as do I, but they aren't mine any more. Kallias loves my eyes. I loved them, but he loved them more. I was swallowed by his eyes. Moonlit grey. This man's eyes are dark mysteries. I wonder if they ever reflected daylight. Compared to Kallias, he's a twilight sunset, and a midnight rain. Kallias is a dawn, a sunrise. He would never disregard me.
I wonder what this man's name is. I don't want to annoy him. I'm too scared to ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't ask.
I steadily, still holding onto him, bend down. I manage to write half a word until the sand stops my stupidity.
"Name?"
I feebly nod.
"That's none of your business."
I let go of him, gently, hesitant. I watch him. I can't let him escape from my eyes. He rolls his eyes as he's about to take a breath. But then he stops. He never took that breath and I wonder why. He glanced at my clothes. It's revealing, extremely revealing, my neck, stomach, arms and legs- bare, but layers would weigh me down. I can't risk that. The silk from my former life is all I have. The gold was stolen. I was stolen alongside. The four men that surrounded me, the face of delight they had, the lust, I'd never forget that.