We split the rations that we had to last us a couple days more before we have to head out to find more supplies. We made separate beds out of old boxes we found scattered around the warehouse. The electricity had been cut off and so we sat in the pitch black silence. Caelestis had already gone to sleep after throwing his extra cardboard at me. He claimed that he didn't like the hassle of the cardboard and that the bare floor was enough for him. Looking over at him, I can just about make out the shape of him slightly curled up from the cold. He hadn't taken back his cloak from me and let me keep it. But I feel bad. I feel like a nuisance. Additional weight that he doesn't need. I still question why he let me stay with him. Even after the hatred he showed me when we first met.
My thoughts spiral and I find myself missing the sand. I tiptoe over to him and cover him with his cloak, and then towards the door, cautious to not wake him up. The door was in perfect condition and didn't take much effort to open since the desert rarely has rainfall. But the steel was still heavy, and the sand acted as resistance.
The night sky, my solace. Exploring the area outside, my thoughts became calmer, and looking up, the crescent moon surrounded by the millions of stars people pray on. The people at the district, they seemed like all they were thinking about was the present. Focusing on staying alive. None looked hopeful. And as I kick the sand with my feet, the sand slipping off, I wished this was simply a fleeting dream.
I sit down, wary of any hiding scorpions, and I lay my head down, staring up at the stars. They look a lot further away than when standing. I'm reminded of the time with Brother. He taught me about the stars. He told me they were Destiny's messengers. They exist to guide the people in the case the priestess lost her way. In my case. But do the people look up? They don't even have that freedom. Forever staring at the sand, and never at a chance of rebellion. Though this sand slips through even the slightest of spaces, it acts as a chain, binding anyone who dares to pray. God knows if there is a world out there, beyond the sand, but Destiny, she knows we will never know.
I feel an emerging presence, slow, subtle. I look around, searching for whatever it is that I sense. But the night hides it away. I realise that I've got nothing to protect myself with. Up until now, I've always thought it would be fine if I died, and I simply allowed destiny to decide what my fate was. But now, I have a responsibility that I was reminded of when I met Caelestis. Any sudden movements I make is life of death. My heart pounding and all I hear is an excruciating ringing reverberating in my ears. My breaths feel wrong and I've forgotten how to breathe. Breathe in. Pause. Breathe out. Nothing. I can't. My sight becomes clearer though I can't focus. But I see it. We've looked eyes. A cougar. It's eyes red from blood-thirst. I clear my mind.
A cougar is simply a big cat. I think about what Father used to always say.
"Elayne, my princess. Our priestess. May Destiny curse anything that thinks of harm to the Priestess, and may the Heavens burn Hell for her."
I breathe his words. His prayer. I may have lost my voice. But I refuse to lose a blessing I was born with. And I make a new prayer.
May Destiny burn but only when the last believer loses faith, only then will Destiny and I, withdraw to death.
I breathe once again and focus on the silence of the world surrounding me. My eyes closed, but I can hear every organism swimming though the sand. And the blood-thirst disappears.
I open my eyes believing that it left, but it was still there studying my movements, my thoughts. I walk towards it and I can tell it means no harm anymore. It hesitates towards me, but after a moment, it brushes against my leg, and a soft purr. It's a girl. I stroke her head crouch down. I can't speak to her so I smile. I lean my head against hers and hope she understands my intentions.
Lila. That's your name.