After crying so much, I finally lifted my gaze and snapped back to reality.
"W.. wait, what time is it?" I asked him frantically while he was driving.
He glanced slightly at his watch.
"2:32 am," he said.
"W-what?!!" I exclaimed in shock.
"Please... can you take me home? I-I need to go home, or else my aunt will kill me!" I said in a panic, certain I would get a scolding from my aunt.
"Okay, calm down... and tell me your address," he said, slightly laughing at my reaction.
I told him, and he immediately turned the car toward the address I gave him.
"Don't attempt suicide again," he told me as he looked at me through the car mirror.
I looked away and replied, "Thank you for saving me... but I can't assure you that I won't do it again," I said while staring out of the car window.
"Give me your number," he said authoritatively.
I turned to him, annoyed.
"And who are you to ask for my number?" I said irritably.
"I'll call you to make sure you don't try it again," he said.
This person pities me. But he's not responsible for what I do to myself. I wish... I wish Keivan was like him... maybe he was once before, but now he's not. He doesn't care about me anymore; even if I killed myself in front of him, he wouldn't care...
"Thanks for your concern... but it's not necessary because I won't do it again. I just got overwhelmed... and made a rash decision," I told him, hoping he would drop the subject.
"Really?" he asked, sounding unconvinced.
"Yes... I just need to move on, but I don't know how," I said.
We were already at my aunt's subdivision, so I asked him to stop the car.
"Here is fine... thank you. If I see you again someday, I'll repay you for saving me and giving me a ride," I said as I opened the car door to get out.
"Are you sure? If we see each other someday?" he asked for confirmation.
"Yeah... why not, right?" I replied.
"I'll drop you off inside the subdivision. You might try to kill yourself again... I might not see you again someday," he said.
"I won't, okay... thank you... but I'll get off here," I said.
"Okay, see you someday," he said.
I nodded in agreement, and he started the car again.
As the car disappeared from view, I began walking home, feeling incredibly anxious. I knew I was in big trouble with my aunt.
When I reached the gate, I nervously bit my nails before pressing the doorbell. I waited for a few minutes before seeing my aunt's furious face.
"Oh? You actually came home? Out until the early hours, doing who knows what, huh?" she said as she opened the gate.
"Aunt, I'm sorry, I won't do it again... I'm really sorry."
"Laine... why are you like this? All you do is give me headaches. You're just like your mother. Where did you go? I thought you and that boyfriend of yours were done. I hope you break up so this craziness over him stops. You're such a flirt! You shameless girl! I hope that man gets tired of you and leaves you, because he won't gain anything from you!!!" my aunt yelled at me angrily.
I couldn't stand what she was saying anymore, so I couldn't stop myself from talking back.
"Yes, Aunt, don't worry because Keivan and I are over! He broke up with me... because who am I, right? Because this is all I am... because the love I can give him isn't enough," I said, my voice rising slightly as I couldn't hold back my tears again.
"See... that's what you get for being a flirt, Laine... because you're such a flirt!"
"Yes, Aunt... this is my karma because I'm a flirt, because I loved... enough, please... because we're over anyway," I said.
"You're talking back to me now... you shameless girl!!" my aunt yelled at me and slapped me hard.
Then she walked away and went inside the house, leaving me outside crying, asking myself if I deserved to be hurt like this. Why can't they understand me? No one loves me. My aunt only raised me because she had to, but I know she's tired of me, of the responsibility my parents forced on her... they're all tired of loving me.
It hurts so much to feel like everyone is only with you out of obligation... when? When will I be truly loved without having to beg for it?