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The Chef x The Movie Emperor
Nix's P.O.V.:
Nix looked at the shell's two brothers and felt a lump form in his throat. Beyol Bong Tae-Hwan was truly loved and adored by his brothers, and he is sure his sister and parents felt the same. He felt complicated being the one to now receive that love. It was hard not to be a bit bitter about it because in all honesty he was jealous, the shell had a loving family which is something he had always wanted but could never have, thanks to those who imprisoned him. But he was also worried because he was not sure he deserved to be receiving their love and support.
'I wonder if it is even ok that I am the one receiving their love when I am not Beyol Bong Tae-Hwan. I wonder if they would despise and shun me if they knew I was not their precious Bong Tae-Hwan but Phoenix, a broken, darkened and unloved soul.?' Nix found himself asking Solaris through their shared mental link.
Solaris felt his heart clinch in pain hearing his poor sweet Mama Phoenix ask that. How could they not love his Mama? He knows with certainty that they will love him. He knows that this world will be good for his poor Mama Phoenix and will help him heal a lot if...well it is all up to Phoenix, but he has a huge chance to do some healing to not just his mind but also his soul. Solaris was determined to make sure that happened along with a few other things, but those were concerns and matters to be handled at a later.
With all this in mind Solaris responded to his Mama Phoenix's heartbreaking inquiry through their shared link while keeping his cloaking up. Though no one else could see him he did not want his Mama to see him. He did not want to make things any harder for his poor Mama and having him focus on random empty spots would definitely worry the Beyols. So just as a good little phoenix dragon should Solaris stayed "hidden" while replying.
-Solaris - 'Mama Phoenix, they do love the host and I guarantee they will like and love you too. As for if it is ok or right for you to be receiving their love, I can only remind you that Beyol Bong Tae-Hwan chose to allow you to take over for him. He knowingly let you take his place in every way including as a real member of this family. I am not the Beyols but I have no doubt that the will love you for you. Please just trust Solaris on this.'
-Phenix – 'How do you know this Solaris?' (→_→)
-Solaris - '…' (¯ . ¯٥) (ノωヽ)
-Phenix - '…what are you not telling me? Is this another subject you cannot tell me about yet?' (⇀‸↼‶)
-Solaris - 'Mama, Solaris is sorry but as per my directive I cannot explain this to yet, but Solaris can tell you that he will understand soon. Please do not be upset with me, Mama...' m(_ _)m
-Phenix - 'Ok, Solaris I am not mad at you. Although I understand I am still frustrated, and it is starting to get to me. … I know that this is going to sound odd for lack of a better word that I have this deep feeling of Déjà vu.' σ(￣,￣〃)
-Solaris - '… mhmm…' (-_-;)・・・
-Phenix - 'I understand that you cannot tell me things but maybe if I work them out in my head maybe you could tell me if I am on the right track, or not would that work Solaris?'
-Solaris – 'Yes, Mama Phoenix I can do that for you.'
-Phenix - 'Well I cannot help but feel like I know these people. I am not talking about the hosts memories. Hmmm, maybe its residue feelings from the host?'
-Solaris - 'Your soul is completely bound to this body Master so there should not be any residue feelings left…'
'What in the fucking galaxies does that mean?' Phoenix asked himself while making sure to keep that thought private because he knew Solaris more than likely would not answer him even if he asked him.
'Solaris this is so fucking frustrating, and I am barely keeping it together. I honestly do not know how fucking much more I can handle all this secrecy and round about bullshit! I am aware it is not your fault but seriously, have you ever considered how hard it is on me? Have you ever thought that it is fucking hurts and pisses me off every galaxy fucking time you pull this shit?!?' Phoenix thought this but would never say this to or allow Solaris to know how he really felt. It honestly was not Solaris's fault, but he did not know how much more he could take before he finally snaped. After all everyone and everything has its breaking point.
Discreetly taking a deep breath Phoenix decided that it was not the place nor time to confront Solaris about his frustration on all of the vague answers and secrecy and instead he brought his focus back to the complex emotions swirling within him like a sealed tornado.
'The since of familiarity makes me feel… well it is hard to put into words but maybe if I continue to ponder on it, I will be able to finally put it into words. The best way I can say or put it is like this was my life and I left for a bit and am now coming back to it. It is strange because I know I have never lived this life as I have zero memory of it, and I would absolutely remember if I had a family this loving. I am not sure why I feel this way, but I think I like it. Maybe it is ok to be a bit selfish, after all Beyol Bong Tae-Hwan did willingly and knowingly gave me the ok to take over his body and life...'
Phoenix made up his mind and once he did, he felt a bit lighter. He may appear to others as indecisive, but it was actually the opposite. Once he made up his mind about something that was it, there was nearly no changing it. It is just that because there is no changing it once he makes up his mind, it takes him a while to fully weigh all the options before making a decision. He did not mind making rash decisions for small things like what to eat for lunch or what should he wear today but for the big stuff that mattered well, those choices and decisions he took very seriously. That said he does have times where he second guesses himself just as anyone else would but for him even if doubts something after his decision is made, is typically in vain because he sticks to his original decision. It is a bit freeing, when you do not have to constantly worry and second guess yourself.
'Yes, I will accept the Beyols as my family and live this life with them. It feels strange knowing that for the first time I will have a lifetime with a family that truly loves me. I will try and figure out this whole déjà vu thing and what it may mean later. As for now, I have two silly brothers with borderline brother complexes for the shell to manage. They truly love and adore Beyol Bong Tae-Hwan, or should I say me? Wait can I say me? I... I do not think that I even mind all the physical contact. Though I have never been a tactile person the Beyol family has always been tactile with one another but mainly with Beyol Bong Tae-Hwan as if he was the family's teddy bear. But if I am going to allow anyone in my personal space and be tactile with me it will be the Beyol family. It is easy to see they are all truly good people.'
Phoenix unknowingly smiled, and it went all the way to his eyes.
Phenix softly chuckled, and it sounded like the sweet and warm embrace that tickles one's ears. At the sound of that beautiful tenor voice that bordered baritone when he laughed like this, both Beyol Young-Jae and Beyol Joon stopped their brotherly squabbling and stared at their brother.
He looked like a celestial deity with the sun shining down on him through the skylight making him look as if he was glowing all while both of his dimples were on full display and his crescent eyes shone with a pure and warm gentleness that drew one in like a siren.
Beyol Bong Tae-Hwan really was breath taking even when he did the most mundane things, like sampling smiling and giggling right now. It really is easy to see why the whole Beyol family considers Beyol Bong Tae-Hwan their family Eunbi meaning "graceful beauty of the sun".
Phoenix could not figure out what was going through his brothers' minds at this moment but whatever it is must have taken them by surprise or something, judging from the looks on their faces.
"What is there something on my face? Why are you two standing there and staring at me as if I have gown wings or something…" asked Phenix with his head slightly tilted to the left with his right eyebrow slightly raised and a smile still on his painfully beautiful face.
Not even a second after Phenix said this his stomach growled loud and fierce. Right as Beyol Young-Jae and Beyol Joon came back to their senses their father and sister carried in the mornings main dishes followed by their mother carrying several side dishes.
Phoenix who was left dazed by their reactions and colored red from embarrassment, bit his lip while he looked down at the floor before looking up through his long-curled lashes to gage the reaction of his family and hoped with all his being that they did not hear his unruly and traitorous stomach.
His hope was quickly dashed as he soon heard a harmony of "ooohhs" and "aahhhs" coming from his family as they stopped in their tracks mesmerized and awed by their little sunshine. The next thing Nix realizes is that someone is pinching his cheeks while someone else was stroking his hair.
Smiling all the way to his eyes Nix thought to himself, 'Wow, I know I said I might be alright with their tactileness but this is a lot of skinship all at once, can I really handle it? It feels kind of nice despite my cheeks hurting a bit now, but I know it was not meant to hurt me. Screw it, I will just embrace it and hope that I can quickly adapt and be fully comfortable around them. After all I will be spending the next 30+ years with this new family of mine because I have no intention of letting anything besides old age to take them from me!'
Solaris who heard all of his Mama's thoughts just now stayed quite as he continued to secretly watch this whole scene, smiling and grateful that his Mama was going to make a genuine effort as it is vital for their mission. Phoenix assimilating into the family and fully accepting them and their love as his own and not just Beyol Bong Tae-Hwan is critical and in doing so helps ensure that he will be able to take on and complete this world's mission.
*A/N: [Since Beyol Tae-Hwan is an omega, and as such he can use both masculine and feminine speech so you might see or hear him refer to his older brother has obba/oppa when he is trying to suck up to him. (Obba/oppa is said only by females to an older brother, while Hyeong is said only younger males to an older brother. Nuna is said by only younger males to an older sister. And though in English it is said oppa if one looks in the Korean / English dictionary it shows it spelled obba. But as someone learning Korean with English as my first language, I can tell you now that romanization is not always correct and it is more important to focus on the correct pronunciation then the romanization.) I am not saying this is proper because I do not think that one can simply switch between them like this, but I am using it as a literary device, that flows with the novel so please don't come for me. ]