They returned him, but in the funniest way known to mankind. They had done their best to make a mockery of his sexuality. He was clothed in a red dinner gown and given a bouquet. His hair was masked with expensive wig, and his face was made up.
I felt the urge to laugh but I held it until I looked at his feet and saw he was wearing black stilettos. I couldn't hold it. I laughed like I had grown crazy about something. I should be angry that soldiers had the time to be this stupid, and to make it worse, they were there in their jeeps watching him as he walked gently with the bouquet.
"What is this?" Maria asked, enraged with what was right in front of us, but that was till I rested my hands on her shoulder, and infected her with laughter.
She laughed louder than I did. The soldiers did the same, but what they didn't know was that I calculated what it would take a bullet to fly into their heads and end their being forever, for messing with what was mine. Those were silly imaginations that came when I killed.
I shook the thoughts off and stopped laughing.
"Who did this to you?" I asked.
"You are laughing." He sounded quite disappointed.
"Because I will sue that old man's ass," I said, determined to avenge him.
The soldiers who thought what they did to my driver meant nothing to me, drove off from outside with their jeeps. It seemed the general had not gotten the news of what happened at the base, or, he might not be connected to it. who knows?
Baba will have to answer the query when he comes by.
"Did they hurt you?" Maria asked.
"No." said my driver. "They only drank champagne with me and made me dance and entertain them as though I'm a woman."
"That must be what that bastard wants to do with ma'am." Maria yanked off the wig on his head. His hair was first made into thing cornrows before the wig was put on his head.
I never really meant the first laughter, because his leg in the stilettoes was funny but wasn't funny enough, but the thin cornrows, I couldn't help it. I laughed like I was part of those who twisted his hair into such a saddening piece.
"I guess we should get him a mirror." Said Maria.
***
"You don't have to sue him." Said my driver. "It was fun with him and his boys last night. at least, I did rounds and rounds of press-ups with them after taking enough alcohol."
I winked at Maria. There was no need to fight the general for his sake because he was rather too funny to be avenged. Imagine, he was smiling and blushing right in front of the mirror like a lady.
"We already contacted the legal team." Said Maria who was still serious.
"And I demand you ask them to relax, I have nothing against the good old man." He insisted.
"Okay, then, if you said so." Maria resigned from the balcony and went inside.
I looked at him. He was happy. He went out with the general. That's too cool for a man, but by the way, he seemed to be better in a woman's clothing than in men's, because in men's clothing sometimes, he looked like he missed out in life, and should be put in the right skin.
"I'll ask the legal team to relax, but you have to convince me you weren't abused," I said to him.
"I wasn't abused." He looked up at me. "The general asked me to convince you to marry him. He is such a good man."
I laughed. the bad funny man already bought over my driver. That won't be as fair as it seemed, because I won't condone such.
"Time to take off all that rubbish and be a man for real," I said and walked away, but the young man sat on the stool on which he pitched himself after we fetched him a mirror, admiring himself as a lady.
"Do you see that nonsense as normal?" Maria asked as I walked into the living room where she was sitting with her arms folded. I sensed something about her rage, she seemed to have something far from mere rage for the general.
I came close to her and sat on the same couch with her.
"The general, what did he do to you?" I asked.
She looked me in the face and shook her head. "Nothing other than badging in here to make scenes."
I took a deep breath. I had other things to do. I had to call my parents on the phone and ask of the family and my sister. I had to prepare for the outreach coming by the weekend, so, I didn't give time to throwing queries at her.