Chereads / Some Weird Sitcom / Chapter 3 - Remember That Time We Revived John Lennon

Chapter 3 - Remember That Time We Revived John Lennon

Every character introduction takes place in a memorable location. This takes place in the basement of a sweaty long haired Greek teenager with a chronic addiction to experimental metal.

Achillop was a simple man. Sleeping at 5 AM, waking up at 3 PM, spending at least 6 hours a day listening to the most obscure music to come out. He lived in Rice City (this isn't even a joke that's the actual name of his fucking municiple💀), which was about 5000 miles away from where the boys lived. Normally he'd never even meet anybody in that group due to how far away from them he lived, but he happened to go to the same private elementary school as Leo and he got integrated into the gang a few years later.

-"Alright I believe you have some explaining to do." Leo said.

-"What do you mean?" Achillop asked.

-"Manos is turning emo, you're the only one who is allowed to be emo here. How do we make him go back to normal?" Leo explained.

-"I see... Well, there is one way to de-emofy him. But it is very dangerous."

-"I don't care, I'd do anything if it meant Manos would stop listening to Green Day while looking at the distance for no reason." said Leo, desperate for a solution.

-"Alright then... I have a way. But first, we have to go to the trenches of... England."

-"What for?" Leo asked.

-"To find the corpse of John Lennon." Achillop answered.

-"Wasn't he cremated?"

-"That's what they want you to think. Now go tell everyone else."

It is worth mentioning that this conversation was done by text. So Leo started telling everyone the plan, however, when he went to tell Roufail and Kewmed, he mistyped "Lennon" and instead told them they would be finding the corpse of "Lenin", with both of them assuming it would be Vladimir Lenin.

EPIC TRANSITION TO ENGLAND

Leo, Achillop, Tempest and Manos were all standing in front of a shady looking apartment block.

-"Where the hell are Roufail and Kewmed?" Tempest asked.

-"Probably scattered in the wind... Like my soul." Manos said.

-"Shut up Manos. I dunno where they are but Achillp sent the instructions on how to do necromancy to the groupchat, so if we die while trying to do this, they should be here to finish what we started. What even is this thing you sent, Lop? In fact, what even is the plan now?" Leo said.

-" This is where they keep Lenon's body. It was revealed in the 1987 track 'Fucking Tomato' by the experimental rock band 'Mechanical Beef Jerk'." Achillop explained.

-"That's the first time I hear of them." Tempest exclaimed.

-"That's because they have 8 monthly listeners, and I'm 9 of them." Achillop said.

-"Yeah that checks out. How did you find out the correct spell to ressurect dead bodies, though?" Leo asked.

-"It's just the lyrics to a Mr. Bungle song, but every single word has been reversed. This works with all their songs by the way." Lop explained, before continuing "Alright now let's go inside. You have to keep all your phones outside, though."

-"Will the spell not work if we have modern technology or something?"

-"No, it's just that they're definitely gone get stolen by someone inside, this building also happens to be a trap house. Tempest can stay outside to watch over our phones, I guess."

-"I don't mind, I don't like the smell of this building anyways." Tempest said.

EPIC TRANSITION TO MOSCOW'S RED SQUARE

Since they had received the wrong message, Roufail and Kewmed had gone to where Lenin's body was located.

-"I think we should give the rest of the boys a call." Roufail said.

-"Nah, they probably just didn't want to get cold. Do you have that spell?" Kewmed asked.

-"Yeah. Wait, aren't you also in the groupchat?"

-"I am, it's just that my phone has ran out of battery, despite being fully charged one moment ago!"

Kewmed had, in fact, found out what the consequences to buying a used Eye-Phone for only 200€ were.

Nevertheless, both groups moved forward at more or less the same time. While the Roufail group was constantly waiting in line behind dozens of tourists at a time, the Leo group had to fight off the junkies of the trap house and their 'Futureless Technique' jutsu, a technique that's only obtained after you've completely destroyed your chances at succeeding in life.

At last, Leo's group reached Lennon's body, and Roufail's group reached Lenin.

-"Wait how will this work, again?"

-"I think we should call Achillop and ask how Lenin will help with Manos' situation."

Said Leo and Roufail at the same time, despite being half a continent away from each other.

-"Just do it, it should be fine."

Said Achillop and Kewmed at the same time, despite being half a continent away from each other.

"Alright, here goes nothing."

Said Leo and Roufail at the same time, before they started saying the spell (Roufail just red the message Achillop sent, while Leo had written the spell down prior to entering the trap house).

-"gnittoR morf eht edisni

revO-detabucni yb eht taeh fo raef dna evol

ehT fles's detalugaoc

ggE

aL al al al al al al

aL al al al al al al

gnilioB drah ni msimehpue

ylwolS gnimoceb trap fo eht retaw

ekiL a gorf ohw reven swonk

ehT izzucaj's gnitteg rettoh

aL al al al al al al

aL al al al al al al

woH'd uoy wonk I saw gnikool ta uoy

fI uoy nerew't gnikool ta em?

A tnangats elap emufrep

deviecnoC ot kcolb eht serop

ehT gnittolc sdnalg hcaorcne

ehT sseldne trofmoc fo a mom

peeD edisni ym gninnat nolas

gnihsiW efil saw dehcaop

aL al al al al al al

aL al al al al al al

I nac't mees ot etaitnereffid

neewteB eht wolley evol uoy evig dna eht etihw xes I ekat

I tsuj tnaw ot ezilitref uoy

aL al al al al al al

aL al al al al al al

ehT skcarc yllanif raeppa

esaeleR loretselohc sraet

ehT dedoolf tsyc sniard flesti fo sup

ehT ylenol hcamots sllihc sselnu ti's knurd

oS sa ehs sevird ehs'll esolc reh seye

leeF ti gnimraw pu edisni

gnittoR morf eht edisni

revO-detabucni yb eht taeh fo raef dna evol

ehT fles's detalugaoc

ggE

hO na gge semoc tuo fo a nekcihc

hO a nekcihc semoc tuo fo na gge

erehT's on ecalp ekil emoh"

They said the spell.

And nothing happened.

UNTIL

The two corpses started glowing, the one green lights, the other red.

They slowly started regaining their decomposed flesh, as Lennon's guitar appeared out of thin air, and Lenin summoned a hammer and a sickle. At last, they were alive.

EPIC TRANSITION TO LEO'S GROUP

-"Holy shit, it worked!" Leo said in excitement.

-"Why have I been brought back?!" Lennon asked, quite pissed off at the fact that he's back to this planet.

-"We have a situation Green Day on our hands with Manos over here." Achillop explained.

-"Didn't he die before Green Day was formed?" Leo asked Achillop.

-"Green Day actually named themselves after the code name for fake-edgy teens." Achillop explained.

-"I see." Lennon said, knowing what a situation Green Day entails, before Achillop summoned his own magical guitar and said "Let's go then."

The two guitar enthusiasts then started playing.

EPIC TRANSITION TO ROUFAIL'S GROUP

-"Как дела, суки?" Lenin asked.

-"Uh, I think we should ask Achillop what we should do now." Said Roufail before giving Achillop a call. Tempest, however, couldn't hear Achillop's phone ringing as he got his pockets ran by some road men whom he was currently having a battle with in the middle of London.

-"Damn it, he's not picking up!" Roufail yelled out.

Lenin was confused at the sight of... Well, everything. However, what broke his confusion was the presence of an incredibly powerful individual, approaching at rapid speeds.

-"Уберите свои задницы из Огайо!" Lenin yelled out, before realizing that most of the people there couldn't understand him and deciding to jump forward in order to protect them from what was coming.

Lenin guarded himself using his forbidden "Hammer and Sickle Jutsu: Red Shield!" jutsu, as his opponent broke through the wall and hit the shield right-on.

It was none other than Vladimir Putin.

-"У тебя нет скибиди!" Lenin told Putin, before he entered his battle position and de-activated the shield.

-"Соотношение." Putin said.

He was there to execute the duty of every Russian leader ever since Lenin's death. In case he was ressurected, he'd have to kill him again himself.

-"DOMAIN EXPANSION: COMMUNIST SHRINE!"

-"DOMAIN EXPANSION: INFINITE RE-ELECTIONS!"

The two of them activated their domains at the same time.

"Why was that the only thing they say in English?" Roufail thought to himself.

Putin and Lenin entered a battle that included Galaxy Level feats. The former's hammer sickle combo was never lethal enough to knock out Putin, while the latter kept being getting outsped by the former.

But then, Lenin found an opening, and used his ultimate attack.

-" COMMUNIST TECHNIQUE: HOLLOW RED!" He yelled out the name of his attack, as he threw Putin in the air, jumped up towards him and successfully hit him with the deadly hammer-sickle ten tails attack.

Putin had gotten seriously injured by that attack, but he wasn't going out without a fight. So, as he was falling down, he said:

-"Bankai: Nuclear Extinction!"

Every single one of Russia's nuclear warheads were then launched towards Lenin.

It was clear to him that he wouldn't survive it, so he looked back and said

-"Дамы и господа, теперь я пойду снова. Хотя я, возможно, пробыл здесь недолго, мне удалось увидеть величественные чудеса Вселенной. Я решил, что этот мир стоит спасти, и я надеюсь, что наконец-то найдется кто-то, кто унаследует мою волю и обратит все народы к величайшей идеологии всех времен. Это мой прощальный подарок и мое послание новому поколению." Oblivious to the fact that everyone was running away and couldn't hear his epic message.

Nevertheless, he flew towards the nukes and used the same shield technique as before to engulf them all inside an unbreakable barrier. The technique was not possible if he was outside the shield, so he took on the nuclear superblast for as long as needed to in order to ensure everybody else would be saved.

After a couple hours, it was all finished. The battle of Lenin and Putin had wiped out half of Russia, while Lenin's body had gotten atomized.

EPIC TRANSITION TO LEO'S GROUP

Lennon and Achillop had been going at it for a while. And the worst part, they sounded horrible. Their styles were drastically different, which led to total cacophony for 3 hours straight, until, they both stopped.

-"Alright, I'm glad I could help." Lennon said, before biting his own tongue so he could go back to chilling in heaven.

-"HUH??? How did this help?!" Leo asked, completely flabbergasted.

-"No, it worked. I never want to listen to any music again." Manos said.

This was the plan all along. After being exposed to such abhorrent tunes for 3 hours straight, no human being would want to listen to any music again.

-"Wait, you're still emo though." Leo said.

-"Yeah, he just won't be listening to Green Day or My Chemical Romance anymore, so he's considerably less emo." Achillop explained.

-"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU BARELY FIXED ANYTHING WHILE I HAD TO SIT THROUGH THE MOST PAINFUL THREE HOURS OF MY LIFE?!" Leo yelled out.

But, it was pointless. The boys all went back home, and since Manos was less emo, Roufail and Kewmed just assumed that the Lenin Putin battle was what fixed him, while Leo and everyone else assumed Roufail's group was just excessively late as always and never brought up anything that happened that day.