Ayyyo, finally! I linked up with Mr. Beard! He's gonna make me some takoyaki—wait for it, though, it's gonna take a hot minute. But no stress, this guy's got me covered. He starts chatting with me, asks my name.
I hit him with the "I'm Alexandra (but like, that's just my alias.). I'm an adventurer living my best life in this city. You?"
He's like, "Oh I'm Marco, just passing through 'cause there's a party for the King's birthday."
Oh, that's why there's a flood of people and vendors everywhere like it's Black Friday, but in medieval times. Whole town turned into a street market.
Then, he sees me and is like, "Yo, why you lookin' like you got hit by a bus?" I told him, "Bro, I got wrecked by slime monsters. They munch on clothes like it's a buffet. I had to grab whatever I could find. Kinda low-key fashion disaster, but like, *survival chic*, y'know?"
So, we were in this dungeon, right? Total trap. I started with a squad of five, but we got distracted—dungeon turned into a tourist spot. Got lost, split up like an awkward group project. Me and my homie, who's rocking an orange tracksuit, red gloves, boots, and a yellow cape (she's my ride-or-die), took the right path; the other three went left. You know how it is. The moment we step into a new tunnel? *BOOM*. The exit closes. We're stuck.
We keep walking, lucky we got a torch. Chatting, vibing... until we step on something *squish*. It's quiet... then—*ROAR*—a boulder comes rolling at us like Indiana Jones, but with way less dramatic music. Panic mode, we start running, and—BOOM—the torch goes out. Suddenly, it's like *pitch black*.
Lucky for me, my sidekick's got night vision (shoutout to her, always coming through). Me? I'm stumbling around, hoping my feet don't land on something gross. Then, outta nowhere, I feel this squishy, sticky, cold thing wrapping around me. I looked down—*bro, it's slime*—*again*—eating my clothes like it's the last snack on earth.
And boom—*ALL my clothes are gone*. Yep. Completely exposed. I'm running around butt naked, no shame, while my friend's still rocking that tracksuit and cape like she's ready for a superhero movie. *So unfair*.
My friend punches through a wall, and boom, there's an exit. But plot twist, we slide down a hill, and guess what? My clothes? *Gone*. *Eaten by the slime*. *EXPOSED*.
I look over at my friend—she's still decked out, looking like a superhero, while I'm out here looking like a walking nudist beach. So. Unfair.
And to top it all off, we run into this massive goblin. Like, this dude's so huge, he could've been in a Godzilla movie. And don't even get me started on his look—he's like a walking pickle, marinated in vinegar, bald as a bowling ball, and just... *old*. He looked like he was ready to retire.
Before I could even process that, BAM—some old dude comes up, ready to order takoyaki, but instead of a "Hello," he just *punches me in the face*.
Owwww, dude—seriously?