Yo, check it. These fools were buggin' out when they peeped my loot bag, straight up overflowing with platinum. They was like, "Where the hell you get all that?" But they put that on the back burner 'cause I straight up bodied them in the debate.
That loot bag's mine, period. This old geezer was lookin' all sad and shit, but he wasn't givin' up. He had the nerve to say, lookin' at my clothes, that I was just some broke-ass bum who must've jacked the coins. Like, the fuck?
Hold up! Hell no! I grinded my ass off for this, 40 damn days and 40 damn nights in the dungeon! I'm an adventurer, bitch! What the fuck's your problem with my gear? Why you judging a book by its cover, you dumbass?
I was about to lose my shit, I was so damn mad. This old dude looked like Bluto, that Popeye-hating motherfucker. Then, these stuck-up, rich-ass snobs jumped in the mix, siding with the old dude, talkin' 'bout there's no way I could've earned it.
Yo, chill the fuck out! This is some bullshit! You rich motherfuckers think you're all high and mighty? I'm about to unleash my inner dragon, and it's got babies, you hear? You wanna see my 100% power, huh?
They was all like, "Yeah, show us what you got, tough guy!"
Aight, here it is: my 100%.
Don't sweat it, I ain't gonna literally slap you with my dick. But get ready, even if it was just three inches, I'd still smack you with it! (That's just a figure of speech, though. I'm a chick, but I got somethin' that can sub in, and it's way bigger than three inches. I ain't flat; I'm rockin' a J-cup, so suck on that.)
I don't give a fuck about you noble motherfuckers. You all uncut, go get circumcised, you dicks!
Even if you all jump me, you motherfuckers ain't gonna win. You sons of bitches, you motherfuckers, you can all get together, you dumbasses, fucking shit, fuck you!
I couldn't hold my tongue no more; I was cussin' up a storm 'cause I was so goddamn pissed.
The prince was tryin' to calm my ass down, but I was way past that. It's mine! I earned that shit!
Then…
Someone rolled up. It was a chick in an orange tracksuit, red gloves and boots, a yellow cape, and her hair was this fiery fox orange, like a tail with a white tip. She just showed up, clueless as fuck about what was going down…
To be continued…