huff huff
The environment seemed to warp in my vision with how fast I ran. By now Orphelia and I had probably made it over a block away from the pub, our clothes sticking to our bodies as sweat glistened down our faces.
"What. the. hell. was that!!?"
I gripped my ears at her high pitched screech. Her haggard voice sounded like a dry marker against a whiteboard, just bad enough to make me wish I had a mute button.
"Chill out, I'll explain once we covered more ground."
Big mistake. As those words fell out of my mouth I felt a chill down my spine, her bangs had shadowed over her eyes making for a, rather eerie sight to see in a dark alley.
Sensing her displeasure I recalled a saying my uncle had once told me. "Never tell a woman to calm down."
Although I had phrased it differently I suppose the implications were still there.
"Chill out? Chill out after you grabbed my hand, no explanation.. and ran away from THREE ARMED KNIGHTS!?"
Hearing my actions aloud had made me realize just how strange it was, I could somewhat partially understand where she was coming from; however.
"Quiet down."
I shushed her, my index finger positioned in the middle of her lips, before I added.
"Are you trying to get us caught? I said I'll explain when we're straight, I don't know about you but I do NOT have prison break on my bucket list."
Contemplating my words for a bit she finally nodded, the displeasure from my lack of explanation still laden on her face.
"Fine."
Hearing her agree so calmly had wrung alarm bells in my head. I could only hope her retribution wouldn't be bad.
***
Creaking floor boards.
A signature odor that could probably stain white paint.
And sheets that I couldn't help but question the sanitation of.
If you couldn't already guess I was referring to the inn we had previously rented. With nowhere to call our home, courtesy of the original twin dunderheads, this was the only safe place that we could conversate without worry.
"So? On with the explanation DirDir~"
'DirDir? What sort of wretched nickname is this!?'
"....Right. Well Orphy, long story short~ on my grand quest to gather information, I barked up the wrong tree and almost got splinters."
"You flirted with someone you shouldn't have, didn't you?"
"I flirted with someone I shouldn't have."
At my jaw-dropping reveal Orphelia instantly caught on to the implications of my words. Her matter-of-factly tone had doused my hopes of a reaction.
"Sigh, I should've expected this. Not much different from in our previous world."
Squeezing her nose ridge she shook her heads at my actions.
"Hey Hey! This time is actually pretty~ different."
I mock pouted.
"And how exactly is this any different? Wait it is, this time you could've actually gotten us into trouble for be a play boy skirt chaser."
"Hehe, this time it was a noble."
"A noble!? What were you thinking dumbass!?"
"She was bad."
"I don't care how good looking she was. You almost fucked us over!"
"Teeechnically aren't we already fucked?"
"You're missing the poin-"
"Nuh uh."
My interjection made her glare at me with a look that could probably make an ice dragon shiver.
"Aight my bad. More importantly isn't it information time?"
"...For once you're actually right."
"What do you mean by for once!?"
Ignoring my question she continued.
"So what did you find out?"
"Besides your dirty little secret? Nothing."
She seemed perplexed by what I said.
"Huh?"
"Yeahhh, let's just say I'm not the only one coveting things they shouldn't."
"Oh god. Tell me what this bitch Orphelia did this time."
"She flirted with a saint."
'There we go. That's the type of reaction I'm looking for.'
Her face turned white. If I had a pen I could probably write a letter right now.
"WHAT WAS THIS BITCH THINKING!? That's shit you only see in really smutty novels. I mean I understand, but this shit is going to have real life implication for me."
I couldn't hold back my laugh anymore and had to clench my stomach so I wouldn't die.
"Bhuah hahahaha HA"
"Stop laughing you idiot!"
"Nah I don't think I will. Temptress."
I would never let her live this down, payback for the 'abnor-maids' shindig.
"Ughhh."
She groaned while rubbing her temples.
"So what did you find out Orphy?"
"Wait that was it? That was all you found out?"
"...Yes?"
"Holy shit you're useless."
Whilst irritating, I couldn't exactly fault that statement. Information gathering was never my thing; As long as it wasn't a book I could read I hated any sort of asking around.
"Just get on with it already."
"Right."
After her explanation I found out a few things. Being situated on a peninsula, this marquisate was the perfect hub for trade if ruled correctly. Our father Marquis Hendrix seemed to manage things very well as despite being the smallest province in the kingdom, our tax rates were the lowest.
Surprisingly however, trade was not even our specialty; rather, our specialty lay in the Fortuna crystals found in abundance in this province's mines.
With those being the leading source of power in this fantasy world, it wasn't hard to explain why our tax rates were the lowest. Simply put they had no need for it. In all honesty the Hendrix Marquisate could probably do just fine even if taxes were abolished; though, that would be a problem in and of itself.
Moving on, Orphelia also seemed to learn about the currency system of this world. And just like I had assumed, it followed the typical fantasy format. Copper, Silver, Gold and the least seen, Satura tablet.
The increments were as follows: 10 Copper > 1 Silver, 50 Silver > 1 Gold, 100 Gold > 1 Satura tablet.
Although simplistic I was actually thankful it was structured this way, It made it easy to remember. Though now that I fully understood the system I couldn't help but feel a tinge annoyed as I realized just how expensive that pub was.
Of course nothing was free in the world; granted the information she received was extremely useful, it costed about 1/6th of our overall funds.
"Couldn't you have gotten it any cheaper?"
At my complaint she deadpanned.
"At least I actually got us information, unlike a certain somebody who was busy chasing skirts!"
"And I'll do it again!"
The two of us couldn't keep our composure and burst out into laughter.
"We need to get an actual place to live though. I'm not staying in this dump for the rest of my life."
"Ditto."
"I have an idea"
Her statement piqued my interest. I eagerly waited for her to continue.
"While I was talking to Mistress Trevejo I overheard some men talking about an abandoned house at the edge of town."
My face dropped in disbelief.
"Bitc-"
"Don't even finish that sentence."
Her face clearly unamused by what I was about to say. 'Okay rephrasing.'
"Sis what!? Are you thinking clearly? This is how people die in horror movies, didn't watch conjuring?"
"No, shit was too scary."
I was completely stupefied. She couldn't even watch a horror movie, something through a fucking screen but she wanted to go to an abandoned house that would like 99% be haunted!?
"Come onnn. I'm sure it'll atleast be better than here."
I shook my head vehemently, I had ZERO intentions of going into a haunted house at the edge of town.
"NO! Go get casper to spread your cheeks by yourself!"
She ignored my quip and starting pulling my arm to go through the door.
"Let go!"
"NEVERRR! You wont take me alive!"
"At least follow me as a ghost when you die to protect me from the bad ones, if you fucking die, I'll see to it you never pass on!"
Seeing as I was getting closer to the door I shoved her off my arms and hugged the bed frame. Filth be damned.
Orphelia wasn't going to just leave without me however. She opted for pulling my leg in an attempt to drag me out of the room.
"Leave me alone! Go play with Annabelle by yourself!"
She had no energy to retort as all her strength was being put into her UFC grip on my leg. Just then
***Crash—
An unidentified flying mammal crashed through the inn's window.