"What do you expect us to do here We're tired of cleaning up your mess!"
I could here the muffled voice of someone being yelled at. 'What's going on here?'
The last thing I remember was a bright light, Averie making that cringe pained gasp sound that was low-key reminiscent of that ash baby meme, and bickering with that trashy ass novel writer.
I began to open my eyes slowly and immediately I was greeted by sharp pains.
"Shit.... my head hurts"
My right hand rubbing my temples as my view was coming into focus.
"That language is also part of the reason why you're both a disgrace to house Hendrix! Not to mention the partying, the shameless flirting, skipping studies, the-"
'Who the hell is this lady yelling at?'
I completely spaced out, her nagging and jibber jabber dulling my senses even more, from the way I knew I was squinting one would think I was blinder than bubble, the only word that could reach my mouth was:
"Huh?"
"Are you even listening to me!?"
'Lady no! My brain is more fucked up than usual.'
My vision was finally cleared and in front of me was a beautiful woman with onyx colored skin and shoulder length curly hair, dressed in an elegant red evening gown, and a handsome man with olive skin, low fade in a red tapered suit both in their early forties I assumed.
They were adorned in gold, clearly indicating them as upper-class nobles?
"Orphelia, Dirius, you're both herby disowned. Leave at once!"
The man spoke in a commanding tone that startled me causing me to flinch. I looked next to me and there was guy next to me. I catch on quickly, so I know that right now I had to be Orphelia, this guy next to me is supposedly my brother Dirius and I-
"Oop"
***
I was now sitting a carriage next to this moody forlorn looking "sibling" in a blank awkward silence. 'Is the guy Averie? Did he get isekaied with me?..... One way to find out'
"So Dirius you recon mother and father are serious this time?"
Clearly I was bullshitting, using the little knowledge I have right now to carry a conversation with this giga chad looking mystery man.
"Just look at their faces, they look like they bit a damn lime. Of course they're serious."
"I'd usually have a counter but I suppose I'll take your word for it"
'Ahhhh what should I do? Inside jokes? Ask questions?'
The struggle was real, my brain going through an upheaval that could rival my sorry state when I last took a physics exam I didn't study for, though not much else would change if I did. It'd only give me a false sense of security. 'Besides the point!'
"Where do you think they're sending us?"
"A townhouse at the very least, they couldn't possibly expect us to stay at an inn with the limited funds they bequiffed."
'This guy sounds like such a snooty asshole.'
Alright, one could definitely argue that this guy is clearly a noble, but Averie is a good capper and Orphelia and Dirius are supposedly dumb dumbs. So could this guy really string together a half intelligent sentence? 'My way in.'
"Brother what do you think we should do now, news will likely spread fast, we're ruined and an inch above being poor as shit"
"Taking a look at those fancy dresses you're wearing, I say we have a decent source of income for now."
"Brother eugh"
"What'd you say?"
"Slip of the tongue..... That can be viable but do you really expect me to be reduced to rags? You could stand to sell your stuff instead."
Brother or not in this world, I can't let this guy pawn off all my things, if he's not Averie, he's just a self serving rich prick. Though... if it's Averie he should've caught my slip.
***
The carriage comes to a screeching halt and the door opens.
"Get out both of you we're here!"
'Excuse moi!?' This girl being a bitch works in my favor cause there's no way in hel-
"Who are you addressing like that?"
'He beat me to it...Observation time'.
"Listen. I get it must be tough for you to comprehend, but regardless of our current circumstances my sister and I are still nobles. Do you understand?"
Okay there's no doubt in my mind now, this is Averie. This guy has too much of an extensive vocabulary, he was being wayyy too nice to this servant and he has also never once referred to me as Orphelia and doesn't know our house name or rank. Averie is shitty with names and acts well compared to most people but he not going to fool me.
"Yes my Lord, I sincerely apologize."
'The level of ass kissing.' We got out of the carriage and we were in front of a dingy ass inn.
"A joke right?"
My face visibly twitching...
"No my Lady the Marquis instructed me to take you are your twin brother here."
'Dafuq!? We're twins and our dad is a whole ass Marquis!? Now he's got us living in this dump! This bitch Orphelia fucked up my nepotism!'
***
Greeted by a uniquely foul odor I could only describe as a mixture or trash juice, meets rotting corpse... and the aftermath of eating five times spicey ramen. Upon my entry of the only available two bedroom in this entire grubby inn; I was reminded of my teenage yearning for an untimely death.
'Not the lack of hygiene in this place making me want to commit oof!?'
My self mental image doing a piece sign in the mirror with a single tear stream...
"Horse stables are better maintained."
"I'd rather sleep in a ditch."
No divine summoning from royalty to be a hero, no truck-kun, train-sama, bandit-kun or clutzy god who bestowed a cheat skill to make my life in a fantasy world dream an actual smooth adventure! 'Hell not even a world rundown or explanation for ANYTHING! BUT A SHITTY CURSE FROM A LOOSER!?'
To cope with my mid ass reincarnation situation I decided to take it out on Averie. 'If this little shit can't tell that I am actually Alice he should suffer at my hand...' At least till I feel better.
"Dirius."
"...."
"Do you not here me calling you!?"
"Apologies sister I spaced out."
"Sister? You rarely call me that, what's with you today? You know you've been acting strangely since father caught you with abnor maids."
"The who?"
'Don't laugh, don't laugh, don't laugh!'
"The abnormal maids dumbass! Hillary, the one with the lazy eye, Alphea with the short left leg.... or was it the right?"
I pause in fake thought whilst trying to compose myself, attempting to hide my eyeballs' natural reaction of getting comically wider when failing to conceal my laughter and faltering poker face.
"I can't remember the names of the other two but one has a seven fingers and the other webbed feet if I recall correctly. I mean I know you're a bit of a rake, but truly?
Also when I called you out on it you refused to speak to me."
By now the conflict and utter shock on his face was purely exquisite. It was evident that he was in a state of disbelief, unable to accept this wild story to be true. And with him not knowing whether it was fact or fiction... he was left conflicted in acknowledging it as part of the lore of his new life. 'I'm so tempted to make him squirm more.'
"Can you blame me? Father is already disappointed in us, but for you the pot, to be calling the kettle black.... is rather irksome."
Oooohhh, he is good. Plan B. (not the meds) 'Damn I miss emojis, smirk or winky face would've been perf.'
"Dirius~, can you please forgive my judgement? You know it was all in good fun~. Call me by name, stop being an even bigger douche than usual."
"No can do. Due to our current situation I'm even more pissed."
"Asshole."
Averie was a germaphobe and got insanely agitated whenever he was in an unsanitary environment. So from the tapping of his feet, his refusal to sit anywhere, the slight twitching of his right eye and mild contorted face of disdain he was making, it was obvious how much this was getting to him..... Suddenly, a devious plan simmered from my superior psyche.
Utilizing a stick I found in a vase filled with dead flowers from the bedside table, I picked up a questionable piece of cloth I took note of soon after my unfortunate arrival to this disinfect forsaken room off the floor and threw it on him.
"What THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!?"
I cackled uncontrollably, the expression of his face faltering even more was truly splendid, vine worthy even. The shit stain on his black shirt was truly gag worthy, vomit inducing potentially.
It was obvious his earlier aloof façade was him still processing if I was going to be useful or not with regards to getting information. Most likely trying to gauge Dirius' and Orphelia's personalities.
However, my little stunt should have finally connected the dots. We were both trying to read each other at first but now it was pointless. After all, by now it was painfully clear we both didn't know shit.
"Alice, your sick sense of humor isn't amusing right now."
"Well it is for me~."
I couldn't help but smile at the fact I wasn't going into this alone.
'Took you long enough....'