How in the fuck titties did my day end up like this?
I mean, I don't get it. I wake up, make some breakfast, had some water, took a fat dump and did what the rest of what twelve-year-olds do when they're in a situation like mine. Fuck. All.
So, I wandered the streets of not just New York, but other places too. London, Mumbai, Gotham, Metropolis and a few more places. Have I ever said how much I love my powers. Because they are the best thing that's ever happened to me.
So, in order to understand how I got here, lets head back to the beginning of my day.
***
Walking the streets of a Victorian-esque city was something I'd always wanted to do but couldn't. The reason being money, no passport and no real time or having the balls to do something.
So, was it any real surprise that I would've done something like this whenever I could/want to? Especially after I came here.
Looking over the city and its streets, I came to the conclusion that I liked London very much. I was stared at a bit, probably for the amounts of clothes I was wearing, or people just wondering where my parents were.
I'd tell them if I knew that they weren't dead but hey, what can you do?
But regardless, I kept walking, kept enjoying my time in London, which of course had to be stopped by the most painful migraine I think I've ever experienced.
"Fuckin' hell!" I yelled, still out on the streets of London, making a commotion. Great, headache, what opportune fucking timing you have. I moved away from the people trying to help me and ignoring their call that I should go to hospital.
Yeah no. Ain't happening I'm afraid.
I can take care of myself, have been all this time after all, that's what was on my mind when I teleported back to my home only to find out that it just made the migraine so much worse than it was before.
"I'm sorry I was being a dick about the timing thing! Just stop making it hurt to think please migraine." Little annoying bastard was lucky I didn't have any pills to pop to put it in its place.
So, it seems that using magic makes it worse, but that's just an assumption so far and I don't think I want to be right. But of course, when curiosity strikes, you have to do it.
And doing it fucking hurts man!
Okay, it seems like I have absolutely no impulse control, and it seems like it'll be getting my ass into more trouble than I might be able to handle. Damn it, why is it happening to me of all people... Wait, wait, me of all people...
How would that even happen to me? Is there a telepath fucking with me or something? Who could do that, Martian Manhunter is a good guy, his niece isn't on Earth (maybe doesn't exist in this universe), Psimon maybe? Are there any other telepaths I don't know about?
The third one seems more likely than most, unless it's a magically induced migraine. Then how would I narrow down the list of magic users? Zatarra, Zatanna, Kent Nelson, the fucking uh, Chaos Lord guy, Fuast or Faust.
That last guy's name is weird, but I'm named after the first murderer to walk the Earth, so I can't really talk (my name is so much better).
Or... Raven? Hmm, leotard make brain go BRRR.
...Naughty thoughts begone at once.
So, Raven, Trigon's daughter... Somehow, someway this is her fault. Now, how do I find her?
***
It turns out that I suck at trying to use magic to find people. Kicking some dirt from the ground, I kept walking in the outback of the country Down Under, my country. How I've missed you...
I followed the line in the air leading me to her. Now, when I said I sucked at using magic to track, I meant that I could still use it pretty well, I just wasn't the best at it. So, here I am, walking to her home, base, lair?
I don't know what to call the building a fair distance away in front of me. It just kinda looks more like an industrial shit stain that shouldn't be allowed to exist. I guess when you're trying and most likely failing to hide from Trigon, this is the best you can do.
"HELLO, WILL YOU COME OUT PEACEFULLY AND GET RID OF THIS FUCKIN' MIGRAINE YOU"VE BEEN GIVING ME, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" I yelled, oof, my throat hurts.
"I really have to stop doing that." I murmured; it was something I did in my first life constantly. Yelling like a jackass at my friends, people on games and at stupid decisions idiots make. Ahh, I smiled, good times.
I walked in circles for a minute before I just decided to poof into the building and wouldn't you know it, I landed on a fucking coffee table. "Okay... let's just, hop off." And I did, great news as well, it didn't break.
"Hello~, anybody home?" I asked, my voice nearly echoing. Christ this place is fucking haunted, I swear to God.
In a split second the shadows of the room latched onto me with a grip I tried and failed to break. "Goddamn ambush attacks!" I snarled, my eyes darting around for my attacker, where are you, woman?
"Who are you and what are you doing here?" A raspy voice that sent tingles up my spine asked, well more like ordered. I looked at her, hooded glory and all and... was thoroughly disappointed, disillusioned or any other words that start with 'dis' and end with the miffed feeling I'm feeling.
"And there goes my fantasies." I whined, she looked horrible. I'm talking homeless horrible, the kind you feel sorry for when you see them on the street and want to help but don't.
But not this time, I suppose. Plus, it'd be a damn shame to leave her like this, you know, for obvious reasons. "...You look like shit, darlin'. What's your perfume, Reek of Despair?" I said in a lull of silence.
The purple eyes hidden in the shadow of her hood narrowed. Okay, point taken, still gonna be an asshole. "What are you doing here." I got the feeling she wasn't asking here; I'm going to trust that little voice in the back of my head then.
"You need to stop giving me a fuckin' migraine, please and fuck you very much," I felt like I was missing something, ooh, "Kindly, of course." There we go. So...
"What are you talking about?" She questioned. Did... is she fucking with me or something?
"The magically induced headaches that are fucking with me and my magic. The fuck else am I talking about?" I shot back sarcastically. Did she not know? If she didn't then why... am I... ooh, I feel lightheaded, "Is it hot in here? It feels fuckin' hot here. Oh man, I don't feel so good."
She raised an eyebrow. "Hey! I'm not pulling your leg woman. I don't feel so good..." I think I'm gonna pass ou...
***
I woke with a start, sweating like I woke up from a nap on a school day. "What the fuck was that?" I asked, not expecting an answer. Still got one.
"You passed out." Raven answered, huh, thought I was hallucinating that one, but we move. And sassy much?
So, I suppose that sums up my day so far. Did I really pass out? Lame.
Oh, I wasn't feeling any pain anymore. It's gone, which means I have to apologize. Damn it, "So, uh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that you weren't the one causing my migraine." Though I suppose I have a new theory now, one that's in the works and possibly beneficial to my magic pool problem.
I already felt an increase in how much magic I could use, and it felt great. ...And she was just staring blankly at me. That's not creepy at all. "How did you find me?" She asked, and it was a fair question. I don't know how strong she is or if she can cloak herself well.
"I followed the lines." I replied. It was... weird to say the least. I didn't have any of her possessions or anything else that could be traced back to her, so I had to get creative. It was annoying to try and find a work around that little problem, but I did.
"I basically astrally projected myself towards dark power sources, then I factored in potent demon blood," she flinched, "oh, don't sweat it love," I gave her a smile, "you ain't the only one with demon blood in you. I just don't have a walking tampon for a father."
***
Her heart was beating so wildly in her chest she thought it jump out. All she heard was the ba-bump of her heart beating in her ears. "You good? You look paler than what seems normal for you." The boy asked as her eyes shook wildly.
This wasn't supposed be how her day went. Harassed by the supposed figment of her imagination which played on her fears and insecurities. Being found by frankly bullshit reasons and means. The thought of it pissed her off more than anything but her father.
"Leave." She uttered; the boy just raised an eyebrow as if to say, 'you're joking right?'. She wasn't, "LEAVE!" The shadows in the room slashed at him drawing blood.
He was gone the next instant, reappearing somewhere else in the room. A gash was opened from his right shoulder to his left hip. "Fuck bitch! The hell was that for?!" He screamed. Raven's face scrunched into a scowl when his wound healed.
"Goddamn," he labored a breath, "you need to chill the fuck out. I'm not here to hurt or kill you. I'm not with your dad either so will you stop having a panic attack that ends up with me getting slashed." He spoke.
In seconds, the gash was gone. Replaced by unblemished skin that wasn't marred by a scar. After a few minutes of staring at each other, she calmed down.
"Now, can we talk like civilized people for the love of the big P?"
P? Did... did he mean God? P...? Pencil, plant, peni...
Little bastard.