Alternative Title: Birthday.
***
So we had to move. After how many months in my sweet, sweet crib, we had to move. It was decided that Raven and I would be put into a makeshift witness protection. Which really meant a team, most likely the Titans. And I gotta say, this shit is BORING! Except for the League's recommendation that this was the right idea for kids like me and Raven.
At the very least I was able to take my most prized possessions and dog with us. That was a plus at the very least, I guess. Ooh, and I'm 13 now. One year less until I'm able to drink legally, not that it stopped me before though. Happy birthday Cain, only five more years until the big 18th.
As for where we were moving into, well the big T building was a dead giveaway. Hah, I did tempt Destiny, so I suppose this is it messing with me. I think I've found the fatal flaw in my personality... eh, it'll be fine.
"So this is where we'll live from now on? God, I can already tell this place is going to be attacked more times than I care to count. Great plan Winger, great plan." I said sarcastically. This was a bad idea, I should've just portal'd us out of there, taken us to a different universe. But alas, Raven and her ability to talk me out of perfectly reasonable plans happened.
Gotta build up a defense to that shit.
We entered the building, and I saw no one... like there was no reception, no staff, nothing. It was fucking creepy. "Oh, this some Shining level shit..." I murmured out loud to myself. Raven raised an eyebrow beside me.
"You watched the Shining?" She asked me. No, I just watched Ready Player One and decided that it was a no-go.
"No, hell no. Why, you like movies like that?" I asked her, gotta find out what scares her for Halloween. My forethought and tactical genius are amazing. "Scared? Sommething tells me you might like the Terrifier movies." I hedged.
She ignored me in favor of getting into the elevator, Dick for brains was already inside waiting for us. Ugh, women. I got in the elevator with reluctance, my mind coming up with solutions on where to stash my decidedly "bad" delectables, but I'd have to see the layout of Titan's Tower first.
"I can't believe this is how my week starts. Oh, and tell Bats that I'm not goin' to school." Been there done that and my answer was and always will be HELL no. I even told Batman that, grubby old man that he is; trying to make me go to school.
I could also feel this handsome bastard just smiling at me too. I'm sorry whore, I ain't Starfire so put the pearly whites away.
A ding broke me from my thoughts, and I walked past both of them coming to a stop when I saw how big the Tower really was. All negativity and my personal bias aside, "This place is fucking sick." I looked to Dick, "Are we the first you've picked up?"
He nodded, "Yeah, you two are the first I've chosen to be part of The Team. Cool right?" He smirked a little smugly.
"Aside from that dogshit name, yeah. Definitely somethin'." I agreed, now for the most important necessity, "Dibs on the biggest room!" I shouted and took off like a bullet. I ran down the sleek, almost futuristic halls until I found the bedrooms/living quarters.
"Oh, yes. Yes baby. I've changed my mind; I love it here." My room was amazing. There was a step-off a few feet away from my door, it was spacious beyond anything I'd seen; pretty sure I could set up an art station and a workbench and still have more space to fill up. "Alright guys! I got my room." I shouted out to them as I dropped my bag on the floor.
Bed, prepare thyself to be broken in within a few years. Wait, I feel like I'm forgetting something, what could it be?
Movement drew my gaze down to my leg and Bronx slowly walked around my room doing dog stuff. Ah, that's what I forgot, I really have an attention span problem. "Well, make yourself at home Bronx, I'm gonna go get some food. If you piss on my sheets I'm throwing you into a world of cats." I said as I left him to do whatever he wanted.
I looked out the large panels of windows that showed Jump City below. God it looks small from the top. But it looks so sleek and beautiful, it gave of a feeling to me that I couldn't describe but I knew was important.
I shook my head and let my nose do the work for me when I caught the heavenly scent of food. I ended up in the kitchen in record time, my grubby hands already looking through the fridge, pantry and I was thoroughly impressed by what they had.
Guess it pays to be funded by a billionaire. "Huh, Raven was right." A voice said, and I turned to see Dick standing at one of the doors that led into the kitchen with his arms crossed.
"Traitor." I replied.
"I feel like she made more of an educated guess on what you'd do next." Dick moved to stand next to me in the kitchen, "So, wanna tell me why you hate this so much?" He asked.
Hate what, the free food, HUGE bed and living here while paying absolutely no rent? Man, I love this place. "First of all, you're wrong. Second, you got a punchable face, and my fist would look good against it. Third, I just hate being told what to do. Authority issues and all that."
That was as best as I could describe it anyway.
"Heh, you got a lot of anger, don't you?"
"Not really, give me what I want and I'm the most charming and kind person you'll ever meet in ten lifetimes."
"Well, sadly you don't really have a say in the matter Cain. They're doing this because they don't have many other options, and you and I don't have many either." Raven's voice echoed in the kitchen while Dick looked around to find her.
She rematerialized in a form of shadows until they solidified, and she appeared. "Remind me never to ask you for pep talks, alright. God, never a moment of fucking levity, always gotta be serious."
"Eh, I just think you're a bit overwhelmed with all this is all." Dick said, looking awfully pleased with yourself there aren't you. Don't start stroking your dick as well as your ego.
Wink, wink.
"...Uhuh, whatever you say man. Whatever you say." I really wasn't, compared to the stuff I've seen so far when I go on little universal/multiversal adventures, I can say with certainty that I'm nowhere close to being overwhelmed. They're much more fun. When I'm not running for my life after pissing off some of their strongest beings.
Dick shook his head at me and laughed a little. Okay I don't know what's so funny but sure, laugh at me, your superior in every way, so take that.
"And what do you want?" He asked as I thought back to what I said before. There was only one answer.
"Fat ass Latina women." I said to him. It wasn't what I really wanted but I could get it on my own and didn't need any help with it. Probably. Maybe... man fuck you Wing, trying to make me doubt myself, well it ain't working pretty boy.
"You're just a bundle of hormones huh," he scoffed out a small chuckle. Is this what he's like in the comics? Cunt's got more bite than I thought, I'll give him that.
And Raven, dearest Raven, was giving me the deadest look I'd ever seen, and I've seen people react to Two Girls One Cup. Eugh, fucking disgusting. "And what's with that look sweetest, hmm? Are you perhaps... going to ravage me?!" I gasped.
A shadow hit me in the stomach. Harder than I'd been hit so far and it fucking HURTS. "WHAT THE FUCK MAN!" I bellowed at the pale little shit. "Bitch, you better be prepared to throw some fuckin' hands, but not right now, gotta let super healing kick in." And thank fuck I had that; Demon Blood once more coming in clutch.
"You had it coming."
"How are you ever going to find a man. What's the chick version of maidenless, unless... do you munch carpet?" I asked and got punched again. Me and my fucking mouth. "...okay that was a bad joke and I'm sort of--" Shadows coalesced for a third time, "VERY sorry. It was uncalled for."
Dick was laughing his ass off about the entire thing.
***
I was walking with Bronx throughout Titans Tower, letting him get a lay of the land so to speak when I felt a dull ache in my stomach. It was something I'd been feeling for a little bit, ever since I got back from killing the Wraiths. I thought it would've been gone by now; I mean it's been months.
I kept moving through the Tower floors and I could definitely see that Bruce Wayne had a hand in this.
Now, back to my little annoyance, I think it's one of a few things. So, let's plan it out like people who aren't retarded and lacking an iron deficiency.
Number one: Growing pains. This could definitely be one of them as I am a child and I expect, well not really expect but know my powers are going to grow stronger so this could be that.
Number two: The Wraiths fucked with me somehow, I assume that they might've had some sort of failsafe put in place in the event of their death. That reminds me, are they actually dead or do they just respawn like its Call of Duty, because if they do then that's just straight cock sucking bullshit.
Three? Yeah fuck that, not even gonna try to do the rule of three. Don't really need worse things coming in threes; fire, flood, famine, all that shit can stay away from me.
I found myself in the cafeteria eating, trying my damned hardest not to ogle the incredibly beautiful gold-skinned, green-eyed red head sitting next to me. "Hello Cain Walker! How goes your acclimatization to the Tower?" The Tamaranian said.
I failed. "Damn, you are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. Would you happen to be single?"
"Ehehehe~. So forward, you aren't like most other humans, are you?" She asked me.
"I'm above average." I smiled and answered. "And you're supposed to be..."
"Koriand'r," she responded, "it is a pleasure to meet you my young friend." Damn fucking right it is.
This is the life. I knew there was a reason I chose DC and I have to say, this shit is worth it. "So, what do you do around here sweetness? Also, do you know where Rae is?"
"Hmm, well I am a member of The Team and this Rae you speak of is... somewhere." Hmm, really. That's all I get? Well, life, lemons, you know how it goes.
"Ok, well if you see her tell her that Dick's called a team meeting. Something about connections with other people, blah blah, getting new teammates and some more stupid, unnecessary shit." I got up and walked away, going to the training room where I knew where Dick would be.
"Goodbye Cain!" She yelled out after me.
And low and behold, I found him there doing gymnastics and flipping about like it was everyone's business. "How's it goin' Sparky? Before you ask, no I haven't seen Raven and there is an absolute fucking smoke show sitting in the cafeteria. I think I'm in love." She had a fat ass too. And was wearing a leotard as well, god it's like being 14 again.