Chapter 2. Paranoia
My mind was awake while my body slept. I kept thinking about what Onelio told me yesterday. I don't have any plans with her; she is not my type.
But if I can give my control over her to others, should I do it? I don't trust anyone, not even myself. So, why must I give it to anyone?
I know how Cloe is. She'll talk about real love or something like that, about how she must be able to control her life.
If I can give you freedom without giving away your rights to others, it would be amazing. It's your problem, and I am free from whatever happens.
I don't know how long I stayed in that state, thinking about everything and nothing at the same time.
I felt someone open the door. I knew it was Cloe. It's a power you get when you're a summoner. I can feel it when my summons is near me.
And Cloe decided to wake me up with cold water. I looked around in panic when I saw her. My body relaxed because I wasn't wrong.
"Why?" I asked, confused.
"You let them beat him until he's in critical condition," she shouted, almost crying.
"What?" What was she talking about?
My mother came because of the scream. She looked at us, then took Cloe, who was now crying.
At that moment, I should have worried about Cloe and asked her what was wrong. But I saw something in her eyes. It made me very, very angry.
I closed my eyes and let the feeling go away. I am a good man, I am a good man, I repeated over and over again in my head.
Minutes later, I couldn't think straight. At least enough to not do something stupid.
If my memory serves, she was talking about the man from yesterday. The man who tried to steal was almost beaten to death. I allowed the family to beat him.
I sent Onelio to check on them. He only needed to keep them away from objects and intervene if they crossed the line.
I called Onelio. I asked some questions, but nothing happened yesterday. Everything was normal. I should go see if what he said is true. But Cloe...
I need to get some air.
I passed them in the living room, grabbed my clothes to bathe, and left the house. I took my time because I didn't want to come back until very late.
"Andrew," my mom called when I was at the door, ready to leave the house.
"I'm going to Onelio's," I needed to go before I said something stupid.
"You should talk with Cloe." She closed the distance. Please, Mom.
"Can I do it later?" Maybe when you're not near us.
"She needs it." She took my arm and gently pulled me inside. "And you too."
I don't need it. But for you, I will sacrifice my time on this senseless thing.
One more time, we argued and got nowhere. I became more frustrated. That's what I gained from trying with Cloe.
It's so difficult to be a good man. I don't enslave you like others with their summons, I don't hit you or make you a prostitute. Most of the time, I don't make you fight.
I try to understand you, but you don't try with me. I let you have a boyfriend, friends, and a close friendship with my family. Yet, I am the bad guy.
In a world where it is normal to enslave your summon, I am bad because I don't search for a way to save others. Your boyfriend and friends don't do anything. Why should I? We are nothing.
On my way to Onelio's, I thought about many things. Maybe I missed something, but I have no choice. Angel and I are the leaders of this place. Even though we don't want this position in the beginning.
My parents were the leaders, but a crazy man tried to take their position by force. We took our parents' positions because they needed rest after correcting the situation.
So, how can you control people in an extreme situation? Violence and hope.
If you kill someone, you will die. If you beat someone, you will be beaten. A simple answer for the crazy people who live in this place. It helps me keep control. With the help of the government, we can establish a stable relationship.
And the belief that everything will return to normal. At some point, everyone thought that the violence needed to be kept low because the summons didn't appear at that time.
But if you gain a wolf that has low intelligence and can follow complex orders, everything gets out of control.
Less than a month later, an illusionist tried to kill my parents. An act of violence for power would bring an act so big that no one would think to do it again.
I killed everyone in their family, and every one of their followers met the same destiny. An outsider thinking they can change anything in our place...
But I know that violence is not the only choice. My brother Angel helped with relations with other places and the distribution of food, weapons, and other things to keep everyone hopeful for the future.
Because of this, I usually don't have much to do. I am some type of judge, keeping the violence at a manageable level. No one wants escalation.
I don't think I deserve the hate I saw in Cloe's eyes. It makes me sad. I am trying to be a good man. I don't want to be like the others who fall into craziness.
They do bad things and excuse themselves from a god who never appears to save us. Or they excuse themselves because it's the end of the world or that it's supposed to happen because a fake god gives us powers.
When did they say it was okay? But when did I do it? Is it because I am evil? I am not making excuses or trying to hide that I want the power of my position.
You think I enjoy killing people, no. But I enjoy knowing that my family will never starve when I am in power. That they can feel safe because I am here.
She is beginning to become a danger. I need...
"Hello, Andrew. How are you doing?" Maria took me out of my thoughts. She was passing by with her 'dog'.
"Fine, I was going to Onelio's house." I forgot to notify him. "Are you ok? You rarely go outside."
"Yeah… I have something in my mind."
We keep in silence later this. I am not good at creating talks with people, that is the work for Angel. I look at her dog…
"Since when did you own her? Five, six months…" She looks into my eyes…
I guess that I had to keep to Angel this work. I would take my way, but...
"Are you ok? I'm not the best at helping people, but I can try." Am I so bad that she can see it?
"Yeah, I have many things on my mind." And I need to let out my feelings before I do something stupid... But I am doing it right now.
"What's happening?" I looked at her dog for a moment. "Don't worry. She won't talk." She noticed my eyes and I followed her on her walk.
"Nothing too deep. I'm just... tired. Tired of trying." I am not stopping because I am not so weak. But...
"Why don't you rest?" That question took me by surprise.
"It's not so easy... Maybe in some situations, but not mine." She handed me the dog leash while she tied her shoes.
"You are not the mayor. Most of the time, you are free. What did you do to stop it?" We kept walking and I make time, but I just said it.
"If I wanted to do bad things, would you say the same?" I started to head toward Onelio's place. But...
"Explain." She looked into my eyes. I was talking to her. What's the worst that could happen?
"Do you have time? You will be very confused." No one will believe her.
"Yeah, I have time." She gave me a smile that I hadn't seen in some time.
"I am trying to be a good man because it's too easy to be the bad guy. The good man will try to save everyone and even sacrifice his people. I am not making the last one, but I want to try.
Your answer says that I must be... 'bad' sometimes. I don't drink or smoke, and I am not starting today. I do not want to hurt people or scare them to feel superior.
It's more that I woke up in a bad mood. In a couple of days, maybe I will be okay. But I am tired of being described as a bad person when I try to be a good man. If I start doing bad things, what will I be? The devil..." A long speech that I didn't know I had in my chest. I continued talking throughout the walk with small interventions from her.
We took more time than expected to arrive at her home.
"I am sorry, you only heard my complaints. Do you have someone that I can talk to?" I felt ashamed of this.
"I have a request. Can you do it?" At that moment, I remembered who I was talking about. I looked at the 'dog' and realized I had kept her dog's leash all the way here. "You can refuse; it's not an order."
"Okay." At least I can refuse if she wants to make her new 'dog'. Well, I don't think she wants to become one.
"Follow me. I will explain inside." She moved, leaving me outside with her 'dog'.
"I deserve this," I muttered and followed her.