The ride ended as Kousuke made it to his house finally. Itsuki was surprised to see it was a different house this time than when she first visited for the funeral. It was smaller than what was expected for a family of three, this seemed more so for one person or two at most form what she could guess.
Kousuke parked his bike in the small shed next to his house. Itsuki could see the assortment of tools and parts to fix it in the future, but no sign of the old car Mana and Akane drove to pick him up after school. This was feeling weird to her, making her think what was going on with Kousuke and Mana. Kousuke let Itsuki into his home after he slowly opened the door, nervous on how she would react to the inside and the truth later. Itsuki removed her shoes at the entrance putting on the guest slippers Kousuke set out for house guests. Itsuki saw there was almost nothing in the house, it took her by surprise a bit how bare it was inside, It had two bedrooms, a washroom, and a small kitchen and common area. But no real furniture other than a kotatsu with a secondhand blanket and beat-up futon. No decorations or anything else like photos and books, there was a tv in and a laptop but they liked inexpensive like from a pawn store. The only noticeable thing in the room was a small shrine made for Akane, her photo sitting on top of it, which Itsuki saw Kousuke praying at to announce his return home like he was talking to Akane's spirit. He even put the jacket and tags back in the small compartment of the shrine.
Itsuki was confused more and more now, she knew Kousuke wasn't rich like her but he should have been well off, he was supposed to be given tuition money for housing and school supplies for being a Prime Caliber. It begged the question of what happened while he was gone and why he looked so poor.
"Sorry, it's not much but it'll do for now till I find some work. Least I have the essentials for now and a futon to sleep on." Kousuke told her trying not to say anything that would make her feel pity on him.
"Oh right, Yes. So what should we do first then? We never really got to spend time at each other's houses when we were kids." She asked.
"Not sure, you kinda asked me out of the blue so I just went with the flow and brought you home."
Itsuki wasn't liking the nervous chuckle and response. She was used to the loner mentality he had and avoidance to socialize outside of school but now this felt like a setup.
"Kousuke, you didn't bring me here for something not decent did you." She asked with her eyes half closed holding a hand emanating an ice breeze of it.
'Who does she think I am, Rudeus? I may be older than her in a sense but I'm not desperate enough to pull a trick to get laid with a minor. Though technically I am one now again too. That and she asked to come over, she must have thought we where going to my old house not this half done home. No, no, let's not think about that. I'll keep it simple for now to avoid any misunderstanding.'
"Well, I'm kinda hungry after all that happened this morning. I can order some food for us since I have no real groceries at the moment save for protein bars, hot sauce and milk. Also, I have the tv so I can set up a movie if you like? Anything you want to watch while we catch up?"
Kousuke was trying his best to make Itsuki feel comfortable, he had nothing really to entertain her with at the moment, and he didn't want to feel like a bad host.
Itsuki nodded yes at his effort and stopped the ice making. She didn't mind him ordering food, she was just trying to figure out how he ended up in this situation.
"You ok? You seem lost in thought." He asked her.
"Hmm, oh yes I'm ok no need to worry," Itsuki said with a fake smile trying to hide her worry for Kousuke.
Kousuke ordered them pizza for dinner, it was the closest store near his house at the moment and he developed an addiction to it in this world because the amount of carbs and calories they helped him with. Still a glutton, he ordered five deluxe pizzas for himself, one regular pepperoni for Itsuki, and a large serving of hot wings with some colas for them to drink.
The delivery driver arrived in a quick amount of time despite the large order they carried to the door, Kousuke helped with carrying the food in while Itsuki gave the driver the money he handed to her for the driver, Itsuki felt bad he ordered so much with the little money he had so she gave the driver a big tip for compensation. The driver was appreciative of it and gave Itsuki a feel brownie cake for her kindness. Naive to the fact the driver did it more so because of how pretty Itsuki is.
Kousuke and Itsuki and Itsuki helped spread the order out evenly, the two sat down at the kotatsu with the food laid out and heater turned on. The smell of the toppings enticed their tastebuds, Kousuke grabbed a bottle of hot sauce for his food, Itsuki left it as is. He turned the tv on to play anything for background noise, best he could put on was a romance comedy that Itsuki liked.
'Oh very funny universe. As if this wasn't a subtle sign for this moment.' He grumbled as he wasn't liking the forced attempts by the powers that be to hook him up with Itsuki. He let it slide and the two were ready to pray and eat their food.
"Itadakimasu!"
"Itadakimasu!"
Both proclaimed as they began eating.
Itsuki was impressed with Kousuke's appetite, It was bigger than it was when he was a kid, she still remembered how big his bento boxes were when he ate his lunch.
"Wow! You really can eat all that much now, you just finished the first box like it was nothing. And hot sauce? Never remember you liking condiments on your food before."
"Yep, my metabolism is faster than It was when I was a kid. I heal even quicker now and I develop faster too so have to consume almost up to 10,000 calories a day or anything equivalent to it to satisfy my body. The hot sauce, I'm kinda stuck with since my school days. I was forced to use it on all my foods for the calories and flavor. Trust me you don't want to hear that story." He tried to avoid saying because he didn't like being stuck with the taste but he got he used to it now so it wasn't a big deal anymore.
"HUUUUUHHH! 10,000?" Itsuki exclaimed at the absurd amount of numbers she heard.
Kousuke had to eat that much now to maintain a healthy diet, it felt like a job more than enjoying good food. She knew Prime Calibers had high metabolisms to compensate for their overflowing power form what she heard and seen with him, but to see it was another story altogether when getting older that was a big hit to her common sense. Itsuki was done with half her box, after drinking her first cup of cola she finally gathered up the courage to ask Kousuke the question that had been bothering her for years.
"Umm, if it's ok now, can tell me what happened to you while you were been gone. You said only a few things at school but I want the whole story? Please, I need that closure." Her face looking down not able to keep staring at him.
'You need closure? Well, she's right I did ghost her all this time. She does deserve to know what I've been up to at least. I can't tell her everything still or I'll have to pull out that stupid inhaler again to stay calm. I'm not ready to open with all that yet. I'll tell her what I can afford to tell. The rest will come later when I feel like I'm there.'
"Guess I should start at the beginning. Gotta warn you, it's long and you may not like what I have to say."
Itsuki nodded. She waited a long time for this answer, there was no going back after this.
"After that night, we packed up and left to live at the Army school. Mana was living in the housing unit the Major provided that was off campus, I lived in the dormitory, only allowed to sleep at the house on weekends or holidays. The first few months was the worst for me when I started school there, I was terrible at using my abilities. Doing written work and homework assignments was a breeze, basic magic wasn't as bad, but doing the more intermediate stuff was challenging. Learning the Esper ones were not easy either, I got the hang of the simple telepathy stuff nothing too advanced. I was bad at it all, the only exception I had was for my coded eyes."
"Coded eyes?" Itsuki asked.
"It's one of my skill. I got it the day the incident happen, it's called Code Breaker. It's not a combat related skill but it has a big benefit for strategy and other stuff, I can see a series of codes and sequences in things like magic, anatomy, and such. It later leveled up to make look like a HUD screen in games similar to our status screens. It makes it easy for me to understand how things work and adjust it to my liking, I can do minor predictive analysis on enemies. It's not a 100% accurate but I can compensate with my training. I can even tell by looking at someone if they're lying. The status screen really helped with understanding it better."
Koutetsu showed it off to Itsuki, his eyes gleaned a chromatic ray of colors. Itsuki thought it was pretty how they looked like a ray of glistening colors that captivated her.
"But everything else, I was pathetic. I could barely handle the physical training in the beginning, I was constantly messing up spells, and trying to master other psychic techniques proved to be a challenge when I got frustrated. All that time I acted like a big fish at our old grade school, being there made me realize how much of a little guppie I was in a sea of sharks. I feel like an idiot now thinking back on it. You were right that day when you said I shouldn't have acted as bad as I did. Karma kicked me in the nuts hard for what I did in those days."
Itsuki felt bad for him, he looked humbled, not the arrogant kid he was before. He grew up in the time he was gone, Itsuki couldn't believe it turned out that way from the stubborn he once was.
"But my pain wasn't the worst. It was Mana-Haha's. Haha was in a state of shock, she had rarely spoken or eaten. Doctors said it may have been survivor's guilt that caught up to her finally as she started breaking down little by little till she was almost catatonic. There were nights she had night terrors and I had to call for help in stopping her form hurting herself. I tried my best to help but I had no idea how. I never lost someone like she did, I didn't know what would make her happy or help her mental state. I felt powerless."
Itsuki felt like her heart was broken in half. She felt so horrible for Kousuke, even more so for Mana.
'Course I wouldn't know how to help. I never got over my own depression either. I gave up, became a shut-in, and then killed myself. I was in no position to understand her at all. I still technically am in no position to help with those situations.'
"What about you? You weren't in any shape either when it happened. Did you talk to anyone about it?" It was bugging Itsuki in her heart hearing this.
Kousuke was quiet for a bit. He didn't answer with honesty just a half-hearted yes to the question. Truthfully, he never got over it. He had PTSD from the event, he would get triggered at the thought of death or anything that reminded him of how Akane died. The Doctors said he developed Thanatophobia, an intense anxiety disorder that involved the powerful fear of death or dying. Whenever he got into fights or sparring he did his best to win quickly, and be stronger than the other one attacking him so he wouldn't be near death or not take it too far to accidentally kill someone. He got his inhaler to help him instead of pills so he could have a quicker fix incase he felt his anxiety get the better of him.
He could never tell Itsuki he was still messed up in the head with that and on meds, she had already been hurt by his absence. That would have killed her inside.
"I tried my best to cheer her up you know, anything that would get her a step in the direction. But no luck, Doctors told me she needed space. Any further persistence to help her would just make it worse. I wanted to do something though. I lost one mom, I couldn't lose another. I got a chance though, an unexpected one but it was a chance. An obstacle course that was held once a year was announced. It was mandatory so I had to participate, the ones who where the top five would win prizes. Stupid to say out loud but I thought If I won at least one of the spots maybe she would feel better seeing how hard I was working trying to move on from that horrible day, maybe inspire her to do the same."
"How did you do at the event." Itsuki asked.
"Terribly. All those kids that were there, were training longer than me the moment they awakened. Their efforts really paid off. Their control over their powers was leagues ahead of me. I hurt myself so much I had to recode myself multiple times to avoid permanent injuries when my body couldn't keep up naturally anymore. I got hurt so much that the officials wanted to remove me for my safety. I bolted any time they tried to catch me. I had to win for Haha, I didn't care if I damaged my body badly, I wanted to win for her, show her I was fighting through my pain to give her courage like Akane did for me. When I was at my limit, when I thought I couldn't go any further even with coding, that's when I heard it. I heard Mana's voice, I looked up at the audience seats and she was yelling out for me. I thought she was angry at me for all the damage I did to myself, but she wasn't however, she was cheering for me to do my best, with all the tears and pain in her eyes she cheered me on fighting through her hurt self. I don't know what happened but something sparked in me. It felt like a volcano of power bursting up inside my body. My flame magic synchronized with me and burst out. That's when I sprinted off like a rocket, I started using my flames with a bit more restraint, they were powering me up, and the color came forth as well, the blue color. Being as beaten up as I was, I wasn't in total control so I still suffered side effects like increased exhaustion, but even with that, I was stronger than before. All of that and I got to the finish line at last after one last sprint to it when I reached it close enough."
"Did you win?" She asked.
"Hell no, I came in sixth place. Even with that burst of power I still lost." He admitted.
Itsuki's face was disheartened, she wanted Kousuketo win in that story.
"I'm sorry." Was all she could muster up to say at the moment.
"Don't be. I still won in a way. After the event was over, Haha went to the tent I was resting in, I thought she would scold me for beating myself up so badly in that race. She wasn't mad at all, instead, she ran to hug me and started crying her eyes out. She kept apologizing to me over and over again. I couldn't believe it but I embraced it, for me it was win even if a small one." The tone in his voice on how happy he felt in the moment was all Itsuki needed to feel better.
"What happened after that?"
"She got better bit by bit. Started speaking again and got comfortable talking to others. She told me you wrote letters. She wrote as much as she could after her recovery to catch up on what was missed. I read them whenever I had free time, I'm sorry I didn't write back myself. I wasn't ready yet with how messed up I was."
Kousuke bowed his head to Itsuki, Itsuki wanted to say something but she needed to hear the rest of the story and what happened to Mana.
"Where's Mana-San though? Is she not here?"
"No, she's not. By the end of the first year, she left somewhere unbeknownst to me. She told me in a letter that she needed to fix herself to be whole or she could never face me as a Mother again. I was hurt at first, it was too sudden and random, nothing like her at all, Major Komon tried but we couldn't find her, eventually we gave up the search and let her go her way. I wanted her to be herself again so I let her go and not interfere with her plans to fix herself. After that, the tuition I was promised for being a Prime Caliber helped me with special classes at the school, paying for the registration for Kamui Academy and helped me get back here. Since I didn't have a parent living with me anymore I couldn't qualify for the longer tuition benefits, apparently you need to have a guardian for being under eighteen to keep them. That was a load of crap in opinion but the remainder was enough for what I needed laterI was told being at Kamui would be more beneficial for me to get stronger and learn more control over myself. I'm just getting by for now but I'll make it through, I've gotten better at it."
Itsuki couldn't hold it back anymore. She was feeling heartbroken more that he went through all that. She tried to rub off her tears with sleeves but they kept coming. Kousuke felt bad as well. He didn't mean to make her cry. Kousuke sat next to her to give her an embrace, he turned on a different movie to play to change the mood. It was the only thing he could think of since he had no experience in this matter. Itsuki stopped crying and watched the movie with him, she understood the intention, it was a nice gesture on his part. Showing how much he valued her feelings now.
Two hours passed, and the movie had ended, Kousuke was eating his last slice, while Itsuki was passed out on his shoulder. Kousuke smiled seeing her at peace, he decided today was a good day and wanted to get her home to sleep. Kousuke pulled out the number on his phone Yue gave him during the funeral if he ever wanted to talk. He told her where Itsuki was so she could pick her up.
The car arrived with Kaede in tow and Yue. Kousuke carried Itsuki in his arms for the driver to receive and to sit her down in the car. Kousuke noticed Kaede and greeted her.
"Oh, hey Kaede-Chan. It's been a while how are you.".
"Hmmm, ah! Kou Nii-Chan! Welcome back!"
Kaede was surprised and happy to see Kousuke. She was shy a lot as a kid after being bullied that day but she liked being around Kousuke whenever she visited Itsuki at school. Yue also looked at Kousuke, She felt at ease seeing he was ok.
"It's been a while has it." She asked him.
"Yes, Shirayuki-San it has. I'm glad to see you doing well along with Kaede-Chan." He bowed to her showing his respect.
"Please you can call me Yue, for as close as you are with Itsuki you don't have to be so formal.Thank you for watching my daughter though. I hope you'll at least allow us to help you if need anything. It's the least we can do for what happened back then."
Kousuke wanted to say no because he didn't want to ask for a handout. But he did need help right now with the limited money he had left. He didn't want to make Itsuki worry more later about his safety.
"I'd appreciate it, Yue-San. Have a safe drive back." Yue bowed and took off with her children for home. Kousuke saw them off as Kaede waved giggly. Kousuke went back inside his home to lay out the futon as he was getting ready for bed, he stared again at Akane's shrine, the memories returning back. He couldn't remember the good ones anymore, just the day she died and what Shiina did. His fist tightened hard as his hand started to smoke in reaction to his emotions.
'Just you wait. I'm gonna find you. I swear it. The hell I'll send you to will seem like paradise to what I'll do when I get my hands on you.'