The room was dark with only the TV being a source of light. The occupant of the room was watching anime again while eating instant ramen in a cup. He watched this series three times now, he didn't feel excited or joy in watching anymore, just emptiness. Something to pass the time since he had nothing else to do. The occupant was a 20-year-old hikikomori, with no real skills, was short, lanky, and at this point in his life a loser.
The anime reached its end credits, the hikikomori dropped his unfinished cup to the already filthy ground of his room. "That's it, no more, I think I've had enough."
The hikikomori got up from his dirty bed. He didn't bother turning the TV off as he exited his room. Outside, he hung over the balcony of the apartment complex he was living in, lamenting his failed life. The tears slowly came out of his eyes, he kept wondering how he had failed so badly in life to get to this point. He was a good student at his school, placed high when passing exams, and had so much promise for his future
But after graduating, he went nowhere in life. The hikikomori kept lamenting how this could have happened. He thought it was because he was an out-of-shape Otaku at 5'5, short and skinny that had to be the reason. Maybe because he didn't have a handsome appearance, couldn't fight back, or because his parents stopped talking to him after failing to land a high-paying job or being kicked out of the University he attended. So many reasons and yet none he could fathom that would since to him, or even change the outcome of the end results he got.
He barely made any more money to support himself, he did jobs online like beta testing games or tutoring students with the camera on his computer turned off so they wouldn't see how shameful he looked. Everything spiraled in his mind making his self disgust with himself worse. All the answers he wanted and not one that came to him.
He didn't care anymore, he had enough of the unfulfilling life he led. This was a decision he thought of many a time and yet never went through with it till now. Rock bottom to change his life to make the step in what came next.
The apartment complex was over a freeway, perfect for what he had planned. The hikikomori took one last look at his favorite anime, wishing he was as strong as the main lead and didn't have to do what he was going to do next. With a heavy sigh and tears still flowing, the hikikomori climbed over the guard railing of the building, hanging on the ledge with his heels and hands on the edge and rail still.
"Hell with this world. And hell with myself. If I can't live a life where I can be happy even if it is a short moment then why exist at all."
The hikikomori kept flashing back to the years he was alive up till this point in time, there wasn't a moment he felt truly happy or even had one friend. He dedicated himself to his studies and being the smartest, but what did he gain from it? Ultimately, nothing, all that effort and isolating himself was worth nothing in the end.
The blissful existence that was called youth, is gone, wasted all to dedicate himself to being a top student with high grades. He was mad that the hard work went nowhere, his painstaking effort to prove how smart he was to others.
With one last heavy sigh, he let go of the railing, his feet slowly slipping off the edge, his tears flying through in the air like raindrops, the screaming of air flowing off his body plummeting till it hit a passing car.
Everyone on the road witnessing the event, leaving their cars either to scream or call for the authorities. The driver of the car the hikikomori smashed into being the most horrified seeing the mangled and bloody body lying on top of the hood of the vehicle.
No more tears, no more self-hate, just darkness enveloping the hikikomori's eyes. Nothingness, just nothingness.