It had been a week since the tragedy unfolded at the Shirayuki restaurant. The carnage left in the wake of Shiina's massacre left everyone who was there scarred forever in their minds. The event was labeled a terrorist attack by the public once the news broke out, no one would say what really happened in order to avoid chaos within the community.
There was no clear answer as to what Shiina was after and why she was there, the media didn't know how to tell the public without creating a panic that would make every parent fearful for their children's lives.
The only person who knew the answer was Kousuke, since he was the target of Shiina's destruction. The Shirayukis helped keep him safe with their lawyers so he wouldn't be forced into answering questions he didn't want to answer. He wasn't in any condition to answer at all anyways with how traumatized he was.
Back at their house, Mana had to plan the service for Akane, her benefits from the Army were a big help in funeral costs thanks to the SGLI program for life insurance policies, but that wasn't the big issue at hand. The issue that was the worst was Kousuke's mental state since then. He didn't speak, barely ate, or leave his room, he stayed isolated away from anyone who tried to talk to him. He went back to his hikikomori ways he was breaking free from, without Akane though he didn't care anymore in the moment he just wanted to be alone. He wanted to be left to sulk in his sadness in his room, stewing in his pain and broken soul.
Anytime Mana tried to pick him up to get him out of the room to eat better or go outside he would freak out and fight her off. At one point he elbowed her in the face because he was refusing to let her take him out.
He didn't want to leave unless it was Akane taking him out. Mana abandoned the idea to get him out, she had so much going on she too had to worry about her mental health as she was breaking bit by bit.
Itsuki tried to visit Kousuke on several occasions. She didn't want to leave her friend alone in the state he was in, but he refused to see her as well. She would be sad because she thought they really broke through in their friendship, but she didn't want to push him into a position that would make him snap at her either. He needed space, trying to force him back to recover would make it worse for him. Even she understood that she wasn't so young to not know that forcing a traumatized person to do something that they didn't want to do at the moment would make them go closer to the edge of a complete mental breakdown.
The service was ready, all the preparations were finally done after the rush job she had to do. Mana was ready for everyone to come over the house to honor Akane after using all the benefits to cover the funeral costs and services. The biggest expense being to repair her body so she was presentable for the viewing.
Akane's immediate friends from her unit volunteered to be a part of the funeral detail, they wanted to send off their friend properly and with respect to their Captain. Mana sent the invitation to Itsuki and her family, which they gratefully accepted without hesitation for what Akane did to stop Shiina. Itsuki had to go, she wouldn't sleep well at night if she missed the service, or not be there for Kousuke. The only struggle left now was to get Kousuke to get out of his room to put on his suit and attend the service.
Mana knocked on the door holding the suit she got for Kousuke in a garment bag. She knocked several times but he wouldn't answer her calls to him, she told him she would leave the suit on the door handle for him to wear. She said it would be a dishonor to Akane if he didn't say goodbye to her. Kousuke looked at the door from within his room, his eyes with large bags under them from lack of sleep he did to himself.
'Dishonor? What does it matter? She's gone. What else could be done to her? The biggest dishonor is that she's dead and not here with us.'
His little legs stumbled to get to the door, his health was bad, malnourished, weak, looking like the skinny weakling he used to be. His shaken hand reached for the knob, the weak fingers twisted the door knob to open the door to grab the suit quickly before anyone could see him. He threw it on the bed not giving a damn if he would wear it or not, it just didn't seem important to him at all. Kousuke sat down brooding again in his dark room looking at the family photo of him, Mana and Akane together. It was when he first enrolled his school and how proud they were of him. He sobbed looking at it as his little droplets landed on the photo frame.
'It's not fair. I never got to beat you at the game like I promised. I didn't get to thank you for everything either. You were so good to me. I really wanted to make you proud. Why? Why did you have to die so miserably? I wasn't worth it, why?'
He held the photo in his arms tight. He remembered all the times with her and how happy she was being near him. Kousuke's memories made him remember an important attribute of Akane, one of the things was she was foremost was brave, she wouldn't be a pathetic coward like he was acting. She would stand stall like she did against Shiina.
'I'm sorry. Just tell me it's a dream. Tell me I'll wake up tomorrow and you'll be there with that goofy laugh of yours. Tell me you'll be back here with us. Don't leave me. Come back, just please come back.'
His tears hitting the photo more, he put the photo down after his whimpering was done, using all his willpower he got himself up from his bed to get ready for the service. Kousuke made himself walk to the shower to finally get the musky smell off him from not bathing the last few days. His body was on autopilot going through the motions on grooming himskef, scrubbing every part of his body, cutting the long nails and ratty hair, he was looking normal again after it was done. After the long awaited shower, he put the suit on carefully to not ruin it, after which he looked at himself in the mirror. His anger flared up, seeing how pathetic he looked and how weak he was not being able to save Akane made him swing his little fist to the mirror as punched it, cracking the glass, and cutting his knuckles in the process. His body healed automatically due to his Prime Caliber biology, it couldn't be helped in the moment.
'Oh, that's right. I can heal fast now. I have what she didn't have. Thank you body, for making me remember what an unfair advantage I have she deserved more.' The inner voice in his head proclaimed in a unfeeling, bland tone, no soul into it.
After finally getting out of his room the funeral service went underway for Akane as the service started in the main room, all her squad mates were there to pay respects and do the farewell ceremony including the Shirayukis.
Itsuki saw Kousuke were she ran up to hug him, he didn't hug back he though. Itsuki didn't mind she was just happy to see him again, her Mothers separated them so they could sit in their areas for the service to begin.
Everyone in the room kneeled down as the priest began his chant to send Akane's soul off to heaven, the casket was open, her body repairment for the funeral paid off as she looked like her old self for eveyone to see one last time. The effort it took to heal a dead body was troublesome but worth the respect it deserved. Kousuke was still expressionless, his eyes dead inside as he looked at the coffin and death photo ignoring the chanting from the priest. Mana was holding it in as best as she could, she didn't want to look like a broken mess at this time. The funeral detail gave the send-off for Akane after the priest finished, creating magic symbols in the air, paying homage to their fallen sister-in-arms. Akane's Major was there, the Major, Shion Komon respected Akane greatly, practically good friends at that, her heavy brow wracked with sympathy, hiding the pain as she handed Mana a folded flag. Mana tried to stay strong when receiving the flag with her mental pain nearing its breaking point. She couldn't let Akane down in front of her superior officer and friends in attendance. The Shirayukis paid their respects to Akane for saving them, placing flowers made with ice that wouldn't melt next to her, they then embraced a grieving Mana, who was fighting the breaking point from holding in all her sadness. The Shirayukis felt horrible that they couldn't do anything to save Akane's life. Mana told them they didn't need to be forgiven, it wasn't their fault, as nothing could have stopped that massacre from happening. Itsuki hugged Mana tight, Mana was happy she was here and that she was a friend to her son.
"Mana-San, were's Kousuke at? I don't seem him in here anymore?"
He wasn't in the room as Itsuki said, after the service finished, he was gone without anyone noticing save for Mana.
"He left little Itsuki. I think he wanted to be alone again. He hasn't been able to process this yet." Mana said, telling Itsuki he went back to his room once the service ended, he couldn't stand the crowd anymore and needed his space again.
"Can I see him please? I really miss him." Itsuki begged.
Mana gave Itsuki permission to see Kousuke after she asked if could she talk to him, warning her he may not be in the best mood to want to listen to anyone.
Itsuki wanted to cheer him up in some way, she wouldn't take no for an answer if he tried shooing her off. This was like before at school when she wouldn't back down when he got under her skin or deal with his attitude. She wanted to let him know he had someone by his side whether he wanted it or not. Itsuki's parents gave her permission as well, telling her to be careful not to set him off accidentally since he was still grieving in his own way, she understood and took off to Kousuke's room. She found his door closed with a don't disturb sign on the knob, she knocked anyways making sure first before anything that he wasn't going to attack in someway. She knocked once more, but no answer was given. Itsuki gathered up her courage to open the door slowly to not startle him if he heard it, the room was dark save for the moonlight that pierced through the shades of the window. She saw Kousuke sitting at the edge of his bed like had been doing, holding Akane's combat jacket and dog tags tightly. Major Komon gave them to Kousuke earlier, she said he deserved it to remember Akane and her bravery since there were no other personal effects that could be given with sentimental value at the moment like those items could give.
"Hayashi, can I come in?" He didn't respond. Itsuki walked into the room carefully, with no sign of resistance from Kousuke. She was able to sit next to him without a negative response from him. Itsuki couldn't find the words to say to start the conversation, he looked so broken she was afraid he would hit her or yell if she said the wrong thing. Kousuke spoke first, albeit weakly with remorse in his voice.
"It's so stupid." He said speaking up finally.
"What is?" Itsuki asked in turn.
"All the power in the world. All the power and yet it couldn't save one life. What good is being some special person if I couldn't save the one life that mattered most."
Itsuki could see the pain in his eyes. He was blaming himself for Akane's death.
"You couldn't stop it from happening. That woman was powerful. What could you have done?"
"I could have done something!" he shouted, holding back hard trying not to lose it, gripping the jacket tight. "I could have done anything. I'm supposed to be a Prime Caliber and yet I couldn't stop some psycho with a child mentality. I thought being born gifted like this meant it would be easy to save someone like in the anime I used to watch. I'm so stupid, that's not reality. There's no last-minute power-ups, no power of friendship crap to strengthen me. I took it all for granted and I let my Mom die so miserably." His eyes watered again. He wanted to change what happened. Save Akane's life. Do something to fix what he screwed up.
"You couldn't have done anything even if you wanted to. You're still young and have a low level. Even if you used your powers you would have killed yourself in the process fighting her. You can't rush these things. It took me a while just to freeze small things with my ice magic without worry, don't beat yourself up because you'll never live with it in the long run."
"You trained the moment the powers came. I didn't, I only recently started. I brushed it off just relying on the natural power alone. It's still my fault for being so lazy and ignorant to how this world is." The self loathing in him continued. He still didn't have the skills or stats he wanted to make himself stronger till her reached that OP cliche for his liking. He barely managed to make fire with his hands after putting off practice till now, what could have happened if he lost control in that emotional state he was in, he would have burned everyone in the restaurant if he didn't keep his cool.
Kousuke looked at Itsuki, he had something important to tell her, something he was afraid that would hurt her feelings. He had to say it though or make things worse by keeping silent.
"I'm leaving soon." He revealed to her.
"What do you mean?" A shocked Itsuki asked.
"That lady was after me. Akane died because of me. That's what I told Major Komon. I begged her for help in getting stronger, I don't want to be that scared or weak again. They're going to let me attend the military school for kids till I turn 15 than I can comeback if I want to. The Major had put in a word for me so I could enroll and receive training to learn how to control my power. She was able to do it quick thankfully so I can start early. She said if I decide to in the future she'll write a letter of recommendation for me to enter officer school in the future if I do well."
Itsuki was going to cry from hearing that. She didn't want Kousuke to leave. Not with all the guilt he was carrying inside. It felt like he was just running away from his pain by distracting himself with training instead of seeking help and counseling.
"You can't leave. You can stay here. My family can look after you. I…..I can look after you. Please, don't go" She pleaded to make him stay.
Kousuke turned to look at Itsuki, her innocent eyes filled with worry for him. Itsuki was his first real friend, she was kind to him, didn't put up with his attitude, argued with him at times but never in a bad way, and even cared for him so much that Itsuki was willing to endanger herself to house him so they wouldn't be apart. He didn't have friends before and didn't even bother to make them since he thought they would be a hindrance to his studies.
She was important to him, in his heart she was. The feeling was buried deep down because of how bad he was at accepting those feelings. VR games he used to play in his old life that let me make online acquaintances could never replace reality when it counted and real people who would stand by his side. Kousuke didn't want to lose Itsuki too, that would have been too much on his mental stability.
The worry he had about being older than her inside wasn't so much a worry anymore right now. He wasn't taking advantage of her for favors, or over thinking that very strong karma would get him. It didn't matter anymore what happened to him in the past, the bad experiences, bad memories, it was the moments now that counted.
It made the death hurt more because of his stubbornness to get over himself and realize how important the people in his new life were to him. Kousuke wrapped an arm around Itsuki. Itsuki was surprised, she even blushed a bit. Itsuki couldn't help as she leaned into Kousuke's shoulder, even wrapping her arms around him in a warm embrace.
Kousuke let her do that, he felt so stupid about how he acted before, and he wanted to apologize, and get all the pain and regret out of the system.
"I'm sorry Shirayuki-Hime, I'm sorry for everything." He let out to her pouring all the bottle up feelings he surprised the last few days.
"Sorry? Why are you sorry?" She asked confused as to the apology.
"I was a horrible person to you at first and to everyone. I was so arrogant, that I let the idea of being a Prime Caliber go to my head. I didn't consider anyone's feelings but my own. I had to lose a woman who raised, loved, and died for me and never once thanked her properly for all she gave me. I'd give up all this power, even burn the world if it meant having her back, just to hug her again and ask for forgiveness for being a little brat to her."
Itsuki held tighter. She could feel how much pain and hate was going through Kousuke's body.
"I have to go. If I can't protect myself how can I protect anyone? I need to be ready if that woman returns. I can't lose Mana too. Or you for that matter."
Itsuki didn't argue anymore on the subject, this was important to Kousuke. He needed this to help him feel better, it wasn't a rush decision it was one he made so he could be ready to save the lives that mattered to him most in the future. She let go of Kousuke for a second so could remove the hair ribbon she wore and give it to Kousuke. Kousuke was caught off guard, it was her favorite ribbon, she once froze his feet when he tried to remove it from her in a joke. Itsuki hugged him again not wanting the moment to end. "Take it, so you won't forget me, it's my favorite one. My Grandmother made it for me before she passed. Keep it so you won't forget me."
Kousuke looked at the ribbon, the pure whiteness of it with the blue elegant stitching on it. He held affectionately with Akane's jacket as he continued holding Itsuki. Itsuki had closed her eyes while Kousuke looked out the window. Itsuki couldn't see it but Kousuke's eyes didn't have sadness in them anymore. They glared intensely, they were filled with immense hate. Like the eyes of Death itself about to reap a soul. He saw the images of Akane being stabbed over and over again in his mind, the sight of bloody and battered. And the images of the Shiina making his anger rise even more. His teeth gritted as his eyes looked up at the moon with conviction.
'I swear, I'm gonna find that b***h that took my mom away from me. I'll make her suffer more than what she put Akane through. I'll get revenge for Akane. And when I see that woman again and that man. I'LL BEAT THE S**T OUT OF THEM!!!'