Chereads / Naruto The New Life / Chapter 51 - Chapter 51: How To Be A Ninja Part 2

Chapter 51 - Chapter 51: How To Be A Ninja Part 2

Hidan

Something's not right here.

He unclasped his hand from Konan's. "I, uh, I'm gonna wait sitting down." He flopped backwards, letting his legs slip out from under him. It was terribly painful, but better than flexing his ankles would have been. Hidan's breath froze, and for several seconds he could not expand or contract his chest. His eyes burned with tears.

He stared down at his lower legs. Crap. Standing did some bad things. He guessed that something might have slipped out of position, or perhaps some muscle or tendon had been strained but not broken until it had to take the weight of his whole body standing. Fuck! I need to be able to move as soon as I can. Shit!

He propped himself up on both arms as he shivered. The scythe stayed where it was, where it should be: its blades centered directly over his heart. Hidan concentrated on holding it close without using his arms as he waited for the shivers to go away. Ouchie. Hungry. I'm hungry. Why am I hungry? He was starving.

Before he could inform Konan of this fact, Hidan felt a warm, heavy, soothing hand on top of his head. He closed his eyes and nudged upwards, purring as he did so. Kakuzu. "Hey," he interrupted his purring to say, "where were ya?"

"I'm no medic," Kakuzu replied. "There was no space around you anyway. Now there is, so what's wrong?"

"M' ankles," Hidan mumbled. "Don't like being blasted and stood on."

Kakuzu groaned and looked back over his shoulder with a glare. The demon disappeared from the back of the bird. Kakuzu turned back to face Hidan, and was not surprised to see the boy already on Hidan's other side. "Why did you stand so quickly, then?" he growled to Hidan.

Konan kneeled next to Kakuzu, near Hidan's knees. "He was concerned for Deidara." She gently rolled Hidan's left ankle toward her, stopping when she heard him gasp. "Deidara is fine. Physically he is unharmed, and mentally he is recovering quickly."

The demon bent down to look at Hidan's ankles more closely. "Alright, what do we got here?" He looked at one ankle, then the other. "Oh, yeah. Broken things. Got a couple bones in bad places." He placed a hand over Hidan's ankle and sent darkness into his body, pushing and pulling Hidan's tissues into place so that the broken bones were properly aligned. More tears dripped from Hidan's eyes.

Then the demon boy started to giggle. "Heeheeheehee." He kept giggling, louder and louder until he was laughing. Everybody from Samehada to Sasori turned towards this sound. Hidan felt 9 pits of dread open in his stomach. That's not good.

The snake child silently joined him at Hidan's side. Yahiko swallowed. "Uh...what does that mean?"

The demon boy turned to grin at him very directly, his eyes flashing open at a speed that made Yahiko flinch. "You know," he teased.

Yahiko swallowed again. "I do?"

The demon boy's eyes shaped themselves into happy little curves. "Yep. Didja know that it's the opposite? Chakra goes with animals better than plants, but his stuff goes with plants better than animals. It's gonna take a lot more than before to heal ankles." The demon pointed a thumb backwards at his snakelike companion, who already had a hand on each of Hidan's ankles.

Yahiko turned away. "Okay, okay. I know what's he's talking about. The snake kid's powers make dead things rot, which includes clothes, so don't watch. Somebody get a blanket ready."

Everyone obligingly turned away. Several, including Kakuzu, also closed their eyes. He did so after joining everyone else who was near the bird in putting several yards of distance between them and Hidan. They waited at the side of the road for it to be done. Konan also left Hidan's side, walking several meters away to ask Deidara and Sasori if either of them had a coat to spare. Sasori shrugged off his jacket and handed it to her.

The snakelike child closed his eyes and opened a door deep inside himself. His skin and hair began to glow, barely visible at first, then more intensely, until he could have lit a dark room by himself. Hidan's ankles began to pop, and his pants discolored and began to sag. Seam after seam split as dirt returned to dirt. Hidan winced, because the snake's powers did not come with free pain relief, but he did not let this distract him from fingering the dirt his pants were turning into. Huh. It's all crumbly, like wood when a log's half-rotten so some of it's wood and some of it's dirt. Some of this is fiber, and the rest is dirt. I gotta get pants with more polyester in them.

His arm shook, spilling the dirt onto the asphalt, which was popping like wood in a fireplace. The demon boy threw back his head and laughed, his voice accompanied by a background of shattering, splitting, twisting road as ominous as any thunder. Hidan threw himself to the side before a long-dormant seed could blossom somewhere he would rather it not blossom, throwing a hand up as he did so to avoid faceplanting into the thick, woody stem of a sapling. His legs slipped when he tried to use them to stand as they failed to gain traction on the heaving mounds of gravel he was trying to stand on. The growing forest life around him roared like a chainsaw. Hidan found himself whispering words he didn't know underneath his breath. He knew growth meant destruction, but it was quite a surprise to learn it sounded like destruction too. Curses, startled exclamations, and defensive snarls surrounded him.

Then, it ended. The roar died down, and with it the curses and exclamations, leaving the former road silent. Saplings still small enough to be killed by hungry deer stood silently in the cool air of early spring, surrounded by an abundance of flowers, grasses, and random sprigs of who-knows-what that had lain in this patch of dirt since before it was paved. Hidan tried not to move, lest he cut his arms and legs on the jagged edges of uprooted chunks of asphalt. It was as if someone had floated through a young forest, trailing a bucket of chewed pavement behind them. Hidan looked up at the sapling he had avoided. Its small branches carried pieces of pavement 4 feet into the air.

Konan lowered her kunai. There was no need to cut away unruly plant growth. The bird had crashed in the street and Hidan had not been able to walk far from it, meaning that the serpent's power had radiated outwards from almost the exact center of the road. For all the destruction it had caused, its radius was very limited. Only small semicircular patches of grassy lawn on either side had been affected. She glanced up and down the street and estimated the radius to be about 3 meters, or 9 feet, as they thought of it in this world.

Kakuzu hardened his skin and brushed away the broken pavement. He did the same for Yahiko and the others, helping them to stand. Konan kept her kunai out, but found no need to use it on her way to Hidan. The rustling as he knocked over stems and grasses to make safe places to put his hands was enough of a clue to locate him. She sidestepped around the young tree and handed him Sasori's jacket.

He blinked at it, confused. Then a breeze blew, and although the wild growth made an excellent windbreak, it was enough to remind Hidan that he had no clothes on. Awww… He groused. Aside from the coldness of the air, it was actually nice not to have any clothes on. He threw the jacket across his lap anyway and rubbed his goosebump-covered arms.

Gravel sprayed and made a great noise as Nagato tried to get the car closer. He abandoned this effort soon enough and got out. He pushed his way through the grass and told Hidan, "I hope his powers helped you as much as they helped everything else, because you'll need to walk."

Hidan lifted one leg off the ground and rotated the ankle. "It's fine." This movement exposed him to more cold air, though. He rubbed his arms again. "My th-thing. Get it?"

Nagato pointed down at the scythe, which was still pressed against Hidan's heart. "You ran the rope through it, remember?" He bent down to help Hidan untie the rope from the scythe's handle, carefully averting his eyes from Sasori's jacket as he did so. He ended up having to help Konan untie the rope, because Hidan could not reach the end of the handle from that angle. Hidan yelled frustration at the sky, for reasons Nagato did not know.

The redhead took the rope and followed it through the yard where Hidan had abandoned his cloak and into the house. Hidan pushed back Sasori's jacket and wound the rope back onto the harness as it slackened, still muttering curses under his breath. Konan reached out and brushed some of his hair back behind his ear, which stopped him. "What's wrong?" she asked gently.

Hidan leaned into her hand. "It's a fucking design flaw that it doesn't bend like a real tail." He sighed.

Konan glanced at the scythe. "You just used your weapon for several different purposes I did not imagine it could be used for. There's no reason to think you can't modify its handle as well."

Kakuzu returned. "So that's how that thing stays on your back," he remarked.

"Huh?" Hidan remembered Kakuzu making a remark like this before. "You're talking about my thing?" He petted the blades with one hand.

Kakuzu nodded. "I've been wondering how you keep it on your back for a while now. You don't have anything to hold it on you with."

Konan shrugged. "It's not difficult to hold something in place with chakra."

"I don't though," Hidan corrected her. "It's mine. I don't have to use chakra. It just belongs to me."

Kakuzu narrowed his eyes. "The same way it turned and attacked Deidara's bird on its own to get back to you?" Hidan nodded, but said nothing more. He remembered the sudden fear of loss all too well. Konan should've warned me it would be taken during a fight. That was a mean trick. He wasn't about to accuse anyone of unfairness, but something could be perfectly fair and still be mean. He sniffled.

Nagato returned, having followed the rope's path through the window, past the bushes, and to the bird. "He - here." He looked well away as Hidan finished rewinding the rope and pulled the jacket back into place. Konan carefully retied the rope onto the end of the scythe as Hidan got one last burst of shivering out of his system. So amazing and warm… He fell in love with his cloak all over again.

"Uh-oh." They all heard Yahiko say this. As one, Nagato, Konan and Hidan got up and went to him, Hidan hugging the jacket to cover what his cloak didn't.

Yahiko was scratching his head and staring at Deidara's bird. "What do we do here?" he asked the demon. The white-haired boy rubbed his hands together and laughed maliciously. The black-haired toddler said nothing. They both sat on top of the clay bird, which was tilted up just far enough to make out the plants that had grown into the hole in its middle. One of said plants was clearly a tree.

Hidan pushed people aside and gave Yahiko the jacket to hold. "I got this," he declared, before slicing at the overgrown and woody plant life. His scythe resisted, as it had resisted cutting through the lawn. Hidan channeled chakra into his scythe and tried again, meeting no resistance this time. The bushes and saplings parted like butter, as did Deidara's clay when he used the longest blade to perform very delicate surgery to extract the sapling's branches. "There!" he announced triumphantly, holding out his hand for the jacket. "I haven't actually dug any clay out of it; it's just a hole. If it could be sewn back together or something, this thing'll be good to fly another day."

"Can you please get to the car?" Nagato asked. So you can get some pants on, Hidan heard. He smirked and did as requested, sliding into the back seat with his scythe. Man do I like flustering cute guys.

Once back at the hotel, Hidan was seated sideways in the chair in the sunroom so Yahiko could check for more glass. No more was found. Nagato fetched a pair of pants from Hidan's room, and he was given time to change. After this, he asked to see Konan and Yahiko.

Hidan rolled his pants up to check his ankle and lower leg. "So I'm good?"

Yahiko nodded. "I don't actually know anything about doctoring, so I don't know why I'm here, but it looks like he finished the job, yeah."

Hidan brightened. "Awesome! Does this mean I can spend tonight at the bar?" He looked at Konan eagerly.

She stared at him. "Why would you want to go to the bar?"

Hidan turned a little red and wondered why had he invited Yahiko to stay. "Well… I liked having the glass out, and my arm scratched, so… Kinda got some stuff to work out."

Konan blinked and stepped back. "Of course." She could relate to that feeling.

Yahiko sighed. "I'm going to have to leave all the rocks to Nagato this year. Cram session, here I come."

Hidan explained what cramming was to Konan. She nodded. "Ahem." Without turning in his direction or even looking at him, she called Yahiko's attention.

"Yeah?" Yahiko remembered that he had planned to train with her, to show her that he was strong and could defend himself. He winced and once more mourned the loss of all the sleep his future might have held.

Konan closed her eyes. "I will assist Nagato with painting rocks."

They both stared at her. Yahiko's jaw worked up and down. "You...he told you?" That was a genius idea! If she wanted to be one of them, of course they should include her in their typical activities. Yahiko wondered why he hadn't thought of it, and realized he had, but in reverse. What he was trying to do could be described as including himself and Nagato in her typical activities. This brought a smile to his lips, and his eyes lit up. "Thank you!"

Hidan wondered how soon was too soon for Bar Time. Having him pick out the glass sure didn't hurt. I am so fucking glad those two decided to stay. He traced the edges of Yahiko's cloak with his eyes and tried not to drool or groan. The edges of his vision flickered, reminding Hidan that he was hungry. The boy's energy had helped that feeling, but he promised himself that he would get something to eat before stopping at the bar anyway.

Konan waited a few seconds for the look in Yahiko's eyes to dissipate before she opened hers. "You are welcome."

Hidan petted his scythe. "If you guys wanna talk, maybe you could do that not here? I need to get to the bar or get a nap, not sure which." He leaned down to trace his lips along the top blade of his scythe, chewing softly as if nipping at his own tail. Konan patted him on the head and left. Yahiko followed.

Sasori

Meanwhile, in Deidara's room, Nagato added Yahiko-bear to Deidara's growing collection of comfort animals. Said collection now included Hobbes, Yahiko-bear, a giant teddy bear that now shared the pillow, and the hand-sized spider Deidara had refused to let go of.

Sasori sighed. "What are you going to do with the other two?"

Deidara relaxed on his bed next to the giant teddy bear, comfortably opening his arms to accept Yahiko-bear into them. "I don't know. I don't think they left the office, yeah. Someone should go check if they're still moving. I think I'm too far for them to be active, yeah." He hugged all of his animals closer and bit his lip.

"Even if you aren't, you're not sending them to attack anything," Nagato reassured. "They won't blast themselves." As proof, he held out his hands. "Can I hold this one?"

Deidara loosened his arms and allowed the miniature giant spider to crawl out into Nagato's hands. Nagato stared at it in surprise for a minute or two. "Woah. I didn't expect it to be this cute."

Deidara laughed. Sasori's fists clenched, pulling on the bed's blankets. He said nothing and turned away. Is that a real laugh, or is his real reaction just delayed? Is he really okay, or just pushing through? Sasori gritted his teeth. If he was broken, I could try to help. If not, all would be well. But a person isn't a machine. Nobody can tell if they're broken or not, not even them. It's like tossing something into the ocean, knowing that you'll never know if it dissolves or if it stays intact, and if it stays intact it could wash ashore at any time. You have to watch out all the time, possibly for the rest of your life. He hated that uncertainty, that messiness. So what do I do? I'm not willing to watch out forever.

Deidara punched him in the shoulder. "Hey, you alright? You're more quiet than usual, yeah."

Sasori forced his fists to relax. "I'm worried about you. That's all."

Deidara pushed himself upright. "Hey. Look at me." Sasori did so. Deidara certainly looked alright. His smile seemed natural. His breath didn't hitch as he handed Yahiko-bear to Sasori. "I'm fine, yeah. That was…"

Deidara waved his hands in the air. "It was great! I don't know how else to put it. I felt...alive. When I was in the middle of everything, thinking as fast as I could, dodging and deflecting and everything, it felt right, yeah. After the spider caught Hidan…" Dei swallowed. "I felt horrible, yeah. But then everyone was there, and - Do you know what I remember, yeah?"

Sasori shook his head.

"The part I remember is the confusion, yeah. A little kid that didn't know what they saw, or a buddy acting like he had no idea there was anything wrong with his leg that was blown off, or… Those kinds of things, yeah. The what happened being wrong and not fitting, so bad you couldn't even talk or think about it." Deidara sighed at his lack of words. "I don't know what I'm trying to describe, yeah. But I know I didn't see it here. Everyone was there, and nobody was freaking out, or wondering what was going on, or pretending nothing had happened, or anything. It was all like normal, like something that was fine, everyone was dealing with it, like it was something everyday, yeah. It didn't seem so terrible or wrong, because everyone could handle it."

He looked Sasori in the eyes. "You don't know what it's like, to be handling that kind of thing. I've never seen that, yeah. To acknowledge he was blown up, and talk about it, and not be scared or confused - I didn't know anyone could do that. I didn't know it could be fine." Deidara took back his spider from Nagato. "That's why I want to fight like that again."

Sasori's jaw dropped. "Even if - even if someone or something gets blasted?"

Deidara hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah. It was kind of beautiful, and the timing was great, and it turned out that I didn't really ruin anything for anyone after all."

Nagato chuckled. "Yeah. I sat far away expecting explosions to be dangerous, but the most dangerous person there was actually the doctor, using his healing powers. Second place was Hidan, with his scythe that shouldn't be that dangerous, considering it can only hurt whatever it touches. You didn't even come close."

Deidara nodded. "Even when I was kind of trying to hurt someone, I didn't. That's really weird! But, it happened, so I can do that, hm."

Sasori picked his jaw up. He's serious. Deidara's eyes were open and honest, a clear sky blue. He's okay. We brought the worst things in his past forward, and now that we're ninjas, they don't look so bad. It sounded too easy. Much too easy. Sasori's eyes narrowed. Even so, I have to keep an eye on him.

"You're still going to be worried about," he informed Deidara.

Dei nodded. "Yeah. I might need it in a day or two; who fucking knows? I just wanted to say, that's how I feel now, yeah. I feel fine."

Nagato softly touched Deidara on the shoulder. "That's good," he said carefully, "because you're going to have to do something with your explosive clay that Konan's sure you've never done before. Are you up for that?"

Samehada

Kisame and Kakuzu set the bird down on the very edge of the parking lot, right where it met the street. "Surprisingly light," Kisame commented.

"I'm fairly sure I saw those spiders leave his hand very small and get larger once they landed," Kakuzu pointed out. "If this bird started the same way, then it's not made of nearly the amount of clay it looks like it is."

Itachi tried to see if his Sharingan could determine anything useful. The regular Sharingan couldn't, but his Mangekyo Sharingan saw the world differently. "It's mostly chakra," he observed. "It's not exactly a bird made of clay. It looks more like a bird made of chakra, with clay used as binding material. As if Deidara just uses the clay to assist himself."

"You can see all of that?" Kisame asked.

Itachi deactivated his eyes and shrugged. "I can. Perhaps it has something to do with the Mangekyo's powers. I use it to project my chakra, which is organized in a certain pattern. Maybe that helps it see organizations of chakra as well."

Samehada wriggled back and forth on Kisame's back. He didn't understand how Thinking Human connected his eyes to the bird, but the humans seemed to, so that was alright. Samehada didn't mind missing a few connections here and there. That was what Human Cousin was for. They thought together, with Human Cousin thinking in all the other ways, so together they completely understood something and there was no confusion. Samehada burrowed into Kisame's back and nuzzled his hair. This is the best! No other way of living could be as good as living in this way with Human Cousin. Samehada knew he would miss so many things if he was on his own.

Kisame reached over his shoulder and patted Samehada. "What does that say about Hidan's scythe? It cut through chakra?" He had no idea what to expect from the scythe anymore. It clearly wasn't an ordinary weapon, any more than Samehada was an ordinary shark.

"Can you hold the wing back?" Kisame did so, allowing Itachi to examine the hole in the bird with his Mangekyo. "If it did, it hasn't left any lasting damage. Nothing looks unstable or broken, chakra-wise." Itachi looked toward the hotel. "That is good news because it means the bird is not any more likely to blow up than it was before, so it is still usable. It is also bad news because there's no obvious way to heal it. There are no broken edges to glue back together."

Kakuzu hid his wrist from view as he discreetly checked the black threads there. "If penetrating the bird doesn't make it unstable, I might be able to stitch it together the way I'm stitched together." He did not like that idea, but a bird with a gaping hole in it would not be a good bird for Deidara to use. The blonde kid might be far too loud and energetic, just like Hidan, but that was no reason to leave him without the best thing he had going for him. In fact, it meant the exact opposite; upset children always made more noise than content ones. Kakuzu curled his fingers into a fist. He would put a smile back on Deidara's face or go insane trying.

Kisame nodded. "I hope it's that easy."

Samehada wriggled off of Kisame's back and went to look at the hole in the clay bird. He licked at it. Thinking Human was right; its chakra was frozen in place, like water when it turns to ice, only Samehada sensed that the clay was holding it there too. The chakra would not come apart easily. He poked his tongue into the blade marks in the bird's belly. Samehada drew his tongue back in a hurry and looked up at Kisame, whining loudly. He tasted chakra!

"You taste something?" Kisame asked as he came over to Samehada's side. "Other chakra?"

The shark nodded Yes, yes. He tasted the chakra in there more thoroughly. Bird-chakra tastes like breaking, like rubber bands snapping. Red-claw chakra tastes sharp like cutting. Samehada was hesitant to press his tongue against the bird's wounds too strongly, as if the chakra could still cut him. He looked up at Kisame to get his attention. He nudged the bird with his snout, then shook wildly and made his best impression of the sound of an explosion. Then he nudged the bird's wounds, and snapped his jaws from side to side, making little hissing sounds to mimic cutting.

Kisame stared incredulously. "You can tell what properties chakra has from its taste?" When Samehada nodded, he turned to Itachi and Kakuzu. "So that means Hidan was boosting his scythe's cutting power with sharp chakra," he concluded. "Or, considering it was far away from him, his scythe has its own chakra it can use to do that. Rule One."

Kakuzu blinked at the three of them. Itachi pulled out his phone. "We should publish the first three Rules right away. They are too important."

While Itachi was writing them out, Kakuzu told Kisame of his short conversation with Hidan. "He all but admitted exactly what you just said," was Kakuzu's interpretation.

Kisame found everything to be lining up too perfectly. "It's just like Same and I," he muttered. "She listed them together when Hidan asked about unique weapons. The scythe may not have a personality - that we know of - but it's unique, has special abilities, and it clings to Hidan like Same clings to me." Kisame didn't know why, but he found this idea to be very eerie. He shivered uncontrollably.

Samehada chirred questioningly and licked Kisame's cheek. Why does Red-claw scare him? Why does Big Person scare him? Samehada warbled confusion. All of the humans were getting increasingly strange around Big Person. They were confused and frightened and other things, mostly bad. Did it have to do with the funny taste in the air? Big Person tasted like the strange taste in the air, and the humans seemed to not like the air. But that didn't tell Samehada why. Why did the taste in the air scare them? Its taste reminded Samehada of hunting, of flashing teeth and blood frenzies he had never participated in, but nonetheless knew of as part of his shark heritage. Maybe humans don't like blood frenzies. But what about Human Cousin then? He was a cousin, so he should know about teeth and frenzies. There were a lot of things that didn't make any sense, and Samehada's head was starting to hurt.

"Why is that eerie?" Kisame asked aloud. "Same isn't eerie. I didn't have any trouble thinking the wolves Sakumo works with were like Same and me. Why is the scythe freaking me out?"

Kakuzu shrugged, trying and failing to hide the small shiver that worked across his shoulders. "Your shark's a shark. As in, a living being. It makes perfect sense that he can have a personality and skills like we do. The scythe is different. I think it's creepy in the same way any nonliving object somehow being alive would be creepy. Like horror stories that involve living dolls or the walls watching you," he explained.

Kisame relaxed. "That makes sense." He glanced at Itachi, who was finishing his message. "But we're living in a town with vampires and demons and other creepy as hell things, so we'd better get used to it. This place should be renamed Silent Hill."

"We don't have a hill. Silent Lake would be better," Itachi suggested as he hit Send.

"Renamed? Does this place even have a name?" Kakuzu realized suddenly that he didn't know and had never thought to ask.

The three of them spent a silent ten seconds looking at each other, wondering if anyone had an answer. "That's a damn good question," Kisame finally said. "There are too many damn good questions around here."

"I can't remember the last time I was bored," Itachi said through a smile.

The two older men stared at him. Itachi shrugged. "That is how I feel." He continued to smile.

Samehada growled loudly in agreement and wagged his tail. Life had been nothing but better, better, better! ever since Human Cousin had taken him out of the tank. He'd met so many nice people, and tasted many new and exotic and delicious tastes and made friends and received many more pats and scratches than he ever had and learned many new things! Like that Human Cousin had human Cousins apart from Samehada that he could understand, and that the good tastes in the air and in people were called "chakra," and that everybody liked him and would let him be one of them, a "ninja" just like they were. Samehada wriggled his whole body back and forth, chattering Joy joy good things happy love happy tasty good joy fun love want want in a constant stream of agreement that this, the time after White Claw Person had shared the good news with them, was a very good time.

Kisame's face softened. "Well…" he reconsidered. "If that's how it is, I guess it's not bad at all." He reached out for his shark. Samehada wriggled up his arm and onto his back, nestling against the curve of Kisame's neck where he belonged. The shark was still crooning Love yes want joy love want. Kisame understood Samehada's speech well enough to smile. The enthusiasm was infectious. Even Kakuzu was affected. His best efforts were useless for getting his heart to stop softening.

Konan

Konan was very unsettled as she walked out the front door of the hotel. Her insides churned with mild but constant anxiety, and everywhere she looked things seemed fragile, slippery, unreliable. Where is this feeling coming from? She continued to wear her flat face and go about her business. She would have preferred spending time either with Hidan or in the basement, but neither was an option. I need rest. She really did. But at the moment, there was a potentially dangerous explosive clay bird right outside the base. Rest could wait.

Nagato walked directly next to her, implicitly offering his shoulder to lean on. It was tempting, but she did not take it. Everyone knew she'd spent enough time as an invalid. It was miracle enough that these people were willing to accept it for the several days they had. She needed to reestablish her strength as soon as possible.

"How is it?" she forced herself to ask Itachi. Please let this be simple.

Itachi smiled at her and Deidara. "My Mangekyo Sharingan can see the organization of chakra, and Samehada also was not frightened by what he tasted. The bird's wounds have not made it unstable."

"Yes!" Deidara smiled as he sat down and cradled the bird's head in his lap. "So he can be fixed easily, yeah?"

"It depends what kind of fix you want," Kakuzu told him. "If it's fully bound together and intact now, good luck getting the hole to close back up. It might be easier for me to stitch it together."

Deidara imagined his white bird with black stitches running along its belly and back. "That would look pretty cool… But I still think I want to try putting him back together first, yeah."

"How will you do that?" Nagato asked. "Will you need to fill the gap with more clay? Or, if it's a question of chakra, will you need to fill the gap with chakra, or somehow work with the chakra he's already made of? The more I think about it, the more complicated a procedure like that sounds." He shifted the stuffed animals in his arms back and forth as he thought.

Sasori held up the hand spider. "If it's going to be complicated, please practice first on small things like this."

Deidara nodded and reached out for the spider. Konan handed him a kunai. He walked some distance away, far enough that a blast like the one Hidan had taken would only be felt as a wave of warm air, and threw the kunai at the spider. It went through the spider's small body, knocking it over and pinning it to the pavement. The spider's little clay legs waved in the air helplessly, eliciting sounds of "Awww!" and "So cute!" from almost everyone present. Deidara took a moment or three to compose himself before approaching and righting his helpless little creation. He murmured soothing words to it as he did so. They sounded far too much like baby talk to Konan's ears. These versions of them are very strange, she was reminded.

He guided it in a little circle, causing himself, Itachi, and Nagato to nearly melt onto the pavement from the cuteness. "Ahem." Deidara cleared his throat. "Business time, yeah! Time to see if I can patch you up, hm." He picked up the little spider and pressed two fingers against the kunai wound, trying to push the clay into place. When that didn't work, he tried squeezing both sides together. Still nothing happened.

Deidara took a deep breath. "Okay, you were right, yeah. It's not coming back together like a wound should, yeah. I'm going to have to...do stuff."

"Is there anything that can keep an explosion from happening, or prevent it from hurting anyone? Like a barrier?" Sasori whispered to Konan. She could not think of anything that would work, much less anything they had the skill to perform. She shook her head.

Deidara held it at arms length while Sasori searched for metal sheeting or something that could take the blast. No dice. They resorted to having Itachi look at it while Deidara worked very slowly, hoping Itachi would have time to warn him of anything going wrong before it was too late.

Deidara stuck his fingers into the hole and tried spreading his chakra into the spider's wound directly. He pulled his hand out after a few seconds and looked at it. "Nothing's happening, hm," he told everyone else. "I mean nothing. My chakra doesn't go anywhere, like it's impenetrable, yeah."

Itachi groaned. "According to my knowledge of high school chemistry, breaking the bonds between tightly bonded structures is the mechanism by which explosions happen. If your chakra is really that tightly bonded, it's too dangerous to try to unbind it in order to fix the wound. It will explode."

Deidara pulled his hand back and swallowed. "I've been thinking it's like concrete, yeah. What would happen if you tried to unmake concrete?" The question was obviously rhetorical.

Kakuzu sighed. "Here." He squatted over the little spider and released a thread from his wrist. It was needle-sharp at its point, yet could not penetrate the clay. Kakuzu used his skin-hardening technique, then extended that chakra down into his thread. It was very difficult to do and felt wrong, but he managed to break the clay. Once in, the thread could penetrate the clay without the jutsu, although this involved a lot of effort and forcing on Kakuzu's part. Itachi breathed a sigh of relief to see no change occur in the spider. Kakuzu breathed a sigh of relief to have it over with when he cut the thread off and stood up.

"Does anyone have some more of that chakra Hidan used to sharpen his blades?" Kakuzu asked. "There's no way I'm stitching up that giant bird without a rest otherwise."

Chakra? I wasn't aware Hidan used wind style techniques. Konan wondered silently to herself while everyone else reacted to this news. After they were done, she raised a hand. "That's a technique people with a certain type of chakra can use," she explained. "However, I don't think anyone here knows that technique. I was unaware Hidan knew it. A rest would be quicker than learning it from first principles."

Nobody asked, even though she could tell they had questions. I must be visibly tired. I need rest. "At any rate, with this question resolved," she waved backwards at the clay bird, "I have other business." The business of resting. This level of chakra deprivation should have landed me in the hospital, if there were suitable hospitals in this world. She forced herself down an eternity of hallways and collapsed face first into bed instead.

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