Konan
I did not know it was possible to have this much physical contact with someone without any further meaning behind it.
Hidan was expected to disobey social convention, but lying in her lap and nuzzling her stomach like this was seriously testing her expectations of what was proper. Oddly enough, it didn't feel bad, or that kind of good either. She had the urge to hold him closer, as if physical contact of this closeness was something she missed.
He purred into her stomach, sending deep and pleasant vibrations through her lower abdominal cavity. Any anxiety she might have held in her guts was washed away by this. He stopped purring briefly to look up at her. "Myow?"
She smiled down at him. "Am I occupying your time, or are you occupying mine?"
He grinned up at her. "Ah, who cares?"
Konan scratched him behind one ear and reminded herself of how good it was that nobody else stayed during the weekdays. This is very pleasant. And yet… Her eyes roamed downwards to his exposed chest. And yet, something feels wrong. I can't have quite that kind of relationship with him. I can be tremendously loyal and enjoy his company very much, but not in that way. Her attention returned to his face. Is that unusual? Granted, there are a great many complicating factors...
He turned his head to the side suddenly and licked the palm of her hand. She froze, unable to explain why the hell anyone would do that. He kept going, working his jaws around her fingers and softly biting down. She was about to ask him what this was when she remembered that he acted like a cat, and cats do not have hands to hold. I would rather he not lick my hands, but I suppose I can wait to have a word with him. His eyelids fluttered in drowsy happiness, and he kicked his bare feet at the sunroom's soft carpet.
Konan's eyes darted down to his bare chest again. "Hidan?" His eyes half-opened. "I've been wondering ever since this morning. Why are you not wearing your cloak? I don't see your scythe with you either."
Hidan's eyes fully opened. "Um…" He looked down. "I've had a kinda busy morning. Deidara had a nightmare that felt like being on fire, bad enough that I didn't think of grabbing anything. I got back, checked on you, went back to sleep, and then something was hilarious. I had to get there before the joke was over, you know. And then, there was no point, because wearing the cloak would get in the way of this and I can't have my thing on my back when I'm lying down. It would be nice to just have it nearby, though," he admitted.
Konan nodded and created a paper clone. Hidan sighed wistfully at the clone's back as it left. "You got to teach me shit like that. All I've got are images. Nothing solid."
She blinked. "You can use the basic Clone Jutsu?"
"Mhm. Is that a deal?" he asked.
She tilted her head and ran her thumb over his cheek again. "Well, not a large one. I did teach it to Yahiko and Nagato, who you talk to quite often. I shouldn't be surprised."
Hidan held the hand that was caressing his cheek. "I didn't learn it from them." His brows furrowed. "I just needed something to chase the deer with that time when you asked for 'em, so I fiddled around with my chakra and my hands until I got a technique that worked." He demonstrated this 'fiddling'. "Like this -" He pressed his hands together and twisted them in various configurations, none of which were hand signs. He frowned in concentration. "And my chakra felt like…" There was a release of chakra, and an image of Hidan stood above them both. "Yeah, that's how it felt like."
Konan blinked up at the clone. "You can make up a jutsu on the basis of what your chakra feels like?" With no knowledge of hand signs?
"Yeah, like walking on walls," Hidan explained. "It's a part of our bodies, right? Like muscle? You just go by what your muscles feel like when you walk and shit. No thinking."
Konan closed her mouth and restored her composure. "Chakra is not used as much as muscles are, so no one has the same level of control over their chakra as they do their muscles. The vast majority of people," she corrected herself. There is no such thing as all or none in nature. "The vast majority of people learn hand signs to help them."
"Like what I did!"
"No, those hand configurations may have helped, but in a messy, unrepeatable way." Konan explained, "In order to use jutsu, there are a limited amount of official hand signs that people can learn combinations of, like a recipe."
Hidan huffed. "Fuck that! Who the fuck wants to tie their hands up when they're in the middle of a fight?"
Konan shrugged. "It is necessary. Even those with great chakra control, such as medical ninjas, still use hand signs for elemental jutsus. They may only need one or two where a beginner ninja would need all of the signs, but signs are still required to organize chakra in complex ways."
Hidan stuck his tongue out. "Bullshit. Don't like that shit." He turned away and batted at the clone's leg, dispersing it. He then snorted at a wisp of fog that got too close to his face. "That way of using chakra doesn't feel natural. I like using it like any other body part better. I don't like doing things that feel forced and weird."
"That explains why your original specialized in taijutsu and weapons," Konan murmured. "It is your right to fight that way. Others may do things differently."
Hidan yawned. "Mm." He turned to nuzzle his face into the crook between her leg and hip again. The paper clone came back and laid his scythe down to Konan's right, just beyond his head. He mumbled something that might have been thanks. Konan could sympathize with that. After hearing his description of his morning activities, it sounded like he was already well into the afternoon on his own schedule. Konan imagined she would feel the same in the afternoon. She didn't like that she would, as it effectively disqualified her from being able to train properly or carry out most kinds of missions, but she had to face reality all the same. At least, at her current rate of chakra regeneration, she would be fully functional soon. Hopefully she could push herself into the early evening, or further. There was, as always, far too much to do today.
Speaking of which… Hidan took his head away and blinked. "Feeling kind of nervous all of a sudden," he reported. "Is that you?"
Konan shook her head no. "Does it feel distinct?" She hoped it was someone like Deidara so she didn't have to get up and leave Hidan on the bare carpet.
"Yeah," he answered. "Kind of nervous, kind of curious, like seeing something new. If I don't focus my thing can pick up shit for the length of that middle hallway, so it could be coming from the front door."
Konan sighed and gently lifted Hidan's head as she got up, placing it down on the carpet. He started to snore as she held it, so there was a limit to how uncomfortable he could be. She instructed the paper clone to look after him with a glance. The clone nodded.
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"Sakumo?" Konan put her kunai away upon seeing who was at the front door.
The white-haired wolf ninja nodded. His long hair was tied back in a ponytail and he was wearing more of what she had come to recognize as casual wear. "Hello! It's good to see you're well. This is Ruta." The man next to him, who was shorter and boyish-looking with ragged brown hair, smiled and waved with much exuberance.
Konan recalled what Kisame had said. "Ah. Yes. Kisame mentioned you." She stepped back and welcomed them in. "He said you were interested in categorizing."
"Yes!" Ruta looked around excitedly. "I…" He panted, and his face suddenly switched to downcast. "I don't know where to start."
Konan smiled. "I'm sure you'll find a place to begin soon enough."
Sakumo lowered his head. "So, ah, how are you doing? Kisame seemed concerned."
"He was," Konan stated bluntly. "And with good reason." She did not frown, but would have if she'd been more expressive. What more can I say? Where would I even begin? Ruta wasn't the only one overwhelmed.
Sakumo continued to look down, not meeting her eyes, which she was grateful for. "Whatever it is, I'd like to help, if I can," he offered.
She nodded back. "I've heard things about the value of interacting with animals." Now to get away from her least favorite topic… "Anyway," she turned to Ruta, who was running a hand along the still-unrepaired crack in the wall, "I have a couple ideas for a starting point. Would you like to begin with the qualities of chakra itself, before we discuss anything about jutsu?"
Ruta jumped. "Yes!" He sighed. "I have to say, ever since Kisame said that there are some things only individual body parts can do, like eyes, that's what has stuck with me the most. I can wait, though. I can wait." He took deep breaths. "Alright." He walked over to the lobby desk and opened the laptop he had been carrying under one arm. "I can do this. I can do this."
Konan watched him whisper to himself as he opened blank pages. He's nervous. And in the habit of touching things and whispering to himself. Very excitable. Messy looking, as if he doesn't tend to himself regularly. Has trouble organizing his thoughts. Overall, he was a strange sort of person to be a shinobi, and much better prepared to be a civilian. She wondered how his original had fared in a career path so unsuited to his nature.
He ran his fingers along the keyboard, accidentally pressing keys as he did so. Is he running his fingers into the edges of them for the feeling? She decided to ignore his oddities. As long as his tactile urges did not extend to her person, she had no quarrels with him.
"Perhaps it would be better to discuss this in the kitchen. Someone moved a table in there for a card game," she recalled. "It's just down the right hallway, on the left. Excuse me while I find out where they got the table from."
She sighed as she walked to the opposite end of the lobby to check the room there. The tiger man's enjoyment of touching reminded her of Hidan and the excellent time she had been having with him until just now. Could they not have come at a more convenient time, when she was more interested in the theoretical and the shinobi life? She threw open the door to the adjoining room a little too strongly. It opened on a large maintenance closet. No table here.
She turned and stalked down the left hallway to the sunroom's counterpart on the opposite side of the building. This room also had a nice window and some carpeting, although the window wasn't as large and the carpeting wasn't as fluffy. This room wasn't much use as a sunroom since it faced the morning sun, which disappeared faster than the afternoon sun did, and it was more heavily shaded by trees. It was a perfectly pleasant room for relaxing in, though. Konan did not think of this as she scanned the room for a table. She would have rather been in the sunroom, which this room was not. The annoyance of that was enough to make her think of this room coldly.
The room had a couch and a table. She kidnapped the table. It looked similar to the one used for card games, and was relatively clear of dust in comparison to the rest of the neglected room. She filed that away for further thinking later. The layout of this building really made very little sense, although it was convenient. Too convenient?
She heard laughter coming from the kitchen well before she reached it. Of course. His feelings of excitement must have woken Hidan. Was it a good thing or a bad thing that Ruta had shaken Hidan from his nap? She wasn't sure how Hidan prioritized his sleep.
"You obviously think and can do things, so do you remember shit?" she heard Hidan ask. "I mean, does your mind like mix with hers, or is it separate, or how the fuck do you work?"
Konan entered the room with her burden to see Hidan addressing the paper clone, who stared at him passively. "Clones made from a material don't do that," she answered while passing the table to her clone. "They are like Deidara's clay animals. As you saw, his spiders can explode themselves and search places he can't see, but that doesn't make them alive. She's just paper animated by my will."
"Holy crow," Ruta breathed. "You mean a golem? You can make golems out of things, and disguise them as yourself?" His eyes sparkled. "Oh man, oh man, oh man," he repeated as he opened yet another blank document. He typed at the top, Cross References With Other Forms Of Power. Beneath that, he typed, Chakra can be used to make golems, animate things with user's will. "This is so much! So how does this work? Can it only be used on nonliving objects? How many different materials? Is it possible to give them more or less of a mind? You said clones made from material - are there nonmaterial ones?"
Konan allowed herself to wince. Poor man. This is overwhelming him. He doesn't sound able to process this amount of information. She pitied him.
Ruta giggled and sat back on a counter for .5 seconds before jumping up and pacing. "What would a golem with a full mind even look like? Does it qualify as a golem if it's not made of a material? If they're called clones, does that mean they have to look like their creator? If some of them can have minds, that has so many ethical implications!" He trailed off into a wide-eyed grin, his eyes darting about the ceiling.
"I am so fucking focused right now," Hidan whispered urgently. "So much thinking is happening. It feels so fucking good." He looked around, did not find a pen, left the room, came back with a pen, and proceeded to write on his arm. "Give me a sec, I got plans to make. So much focus."
Konan walked over to Sakumo. Hidan's writing reminded her of her burst of manic energy last week, which had given him a similar urge. She searched his eyes for signs of danger, but saw none. Ruta, too, was occupied with creating a list of other forms of power chakra could relate to. "Is this normal?" she whispered to Sakumo.
He whispered back, "No. Most of the time, he's aimless, or looking for something to interest him this way." Sakumo smiled. "Thank you. This is better than normal. Hopefully he'll be occupied with it for a long time."
Konan thought about the way her own attention bounced around when she decided to toss off her worries. "I hope so."
"Alright, I've got a list of just about everything I can think of," Ruta exclaimed. "Now I'll just go back and create a document for the qualities of chakra…" He titled another empty page Qualities of Chakra and listed beneath that:
Uses
Forms
History
Relationships
Origins
Misc.
"Alright!" He had yet to get around to sitting. Konan realized it would be better if there were chairs to go with the table and sent the clone out for some. "Now we can start."
"I'mma be at the training rooms. See yall," Hidan called on his way out the door.
Sakumo looked conflicted. Should he stay with his longtime friend and learn more about chakra, or go with Hidan and ask about Konan, running the risk that Hidan wouldn't answer and he'd miss something important for no reason?
Konan beckoned him over to the table. "Hidan is always happy to talk. There's no hurry," she told him. Sakumo stayed.
Ruta wriggled in his seat once he had a seat to sit in. "Okay, so, what can chakra do?"
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Qualities of Chakra
Uses: Can be used as material or energy, manipulate other materials, create other materials or forms of energy, manipulate a person's soul/mind. In practice, this means it can do anything! Can also change the nature of reality itself, open portals to other dimensions, etc.
Forms: As energy: light, heat, kinetic, electric, chemical, and combinations. As material: plain chakra (liquid or solid, flexible, can be molded), or can take the form of any other material. When taking the form of another material, cannot be disturbed or it will lose consistency and break up. When itself, cannot hold still. Can be partially material and partially energy at the same time.
History: Great advancements were made in the use of chakra about 1000 years ago, leading to development of powerful techniques. Development still ongoing. State of knowledge before the discoveries of Sage of Six Paths unknown.
Relationships: Has great influence over the eyes. Presence of chakra fosters sentience in nonhumans. Human attitudes towards chakra are very conflicted. It is considered useful, but treated as a restricted military weapon, with most people not taught to use it at all. That's a damn shame!
Origins: Is spiritual in nature, & produced by the physical activity of living cells. Unclear whether law of conservation of energy is violated; chakra might be just another form of waste energy, like heat. Do ninjas produce normal body heat?
Misc.: Chakra clearly represents a departure from the known laws of physics. E = mc ^2 is false in that world. Chakra can even interact with other laws of physics! Spiritual origins + changes physics = is chakra God? If God, why not present in this world? Chakra allows hair to have strange colors; no idea why or how. Has influenced the course of evolution: ex. trees grow differently to accommodate animals being more dangerous. Raises so many existential and ethical questions, I have no idea how civilization resembles our own in any way.
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Konan read over Ruta's shoulder as he edited his document. When he stopped typing and relaxed his shoulders, she asked, "What is that combination of letters?"
Ruta grinned. "That means energy equals matter times the speed of light squared. The speed of light squared is a really big number, so what it means is that a LOT of energy can be turned into only a very small miniscule amount of matter. If chakra obeyed this rule, a person's entire reserves of chakra should only be able to form into...maybe an ant? If chakra can take forms much bigger than that, this rule can't be true. E just equals m, or is maybe less than m! Just imagine, like a bucket -" He mimed holding a bucket, before flipping his hands to dump the bucket upside down. "That's what this does to the laws that govern how the universe works. How does your universe resemble ours? At all?"
Konan chuckled. "If chakra is a form of divine influence as you suggest, why not? If gods can influence a world directly, which they definitely can, why would they need laws to keep order in their stead?"
Ruta shook his head. "I've always reconciled my beliefs by thinking that the laws of physics are a product of the fact that gods exist, like how the presence of water in our cells is just a part of how we exist."
Konan shrugged. "Maybe this world and mine are in different parts of the gods' metaphorical body."
Sakumo finished running his hands through his hair. "Magic. That's it. That's what it has to be. It's changing some physics but not others, changing the world in some ways but not in other ways, even though there's no obvious barrier to prevent it from changing those other things… I'm just going to call it magic. We can leave the understanding of it to the philosophers."
"I'm not a philosopher. A philosotainer at best," Ruta objected. "Or...am I?"
"I believe Hidan would agree with you that people not being taught to use chakra is a damn shame," Konan told him. "Before you two arrived, he told me that he views chakra as a part of his body, and doesn't like formalized techniques and structures governing how it is used. That is not a common view in my world. I had not thought of chakra that way before."
Sakumo laid his forehead on the table and sighed. "Maybe it's time someone did, then. You know, I've practiced some of the things we've already learned we can do that normal people can't. Now that I know what to look for, I can feel it - something running through my muscles. Some things contracting in places I've never seen things in any drawing of the human anatomy. But it feels completely natural. I think he's right."
In retrospect, I have noticed that none of the clones use formal names when they cast their jutsus. They just use their chakra, without labeling their usage of it. They already agree. Konan kept silent. She had known, ever since Itachi explained so, that she would have to change some of the ways she thought. She had not expected she would have to change the way she thought about her own past life.
Ruta took a deep breath and didn't quite look up at Konan as he twisted his hands together. She sighed. "More documentation?" He nodded.
She looked at what he had so far. "Better have it all at once."
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Types of Techniques
Elemental - Can be broken down into 5 subcategories. Broadly: all people have chakra that tends towards at least one element. Some people have inheritable characteristics that make their chakra tend towards two or more elements, allowing them to use both in unique combinations. People can learn techniques of all of the 5 basic elements, although it takes much more effort and time to learn to use elements different from one's own. Nobody can learn the combination elements; they have to be inherited. People can make their chakra tend towards another element if they use enough techniques of that kind, but that doesn't allow them to use the combinations. The different elements have different characteristics that make them weak or strong against other elements. Elements have to be compatible in order to donate chakra, like blood type. Most battle techniques are elemental.
Sub - Lightning: Chakra of this type is very energetic. It can break up strong bonds, but risks dissipating entirely if its own weak bonds are disturbed. This makes it strong against Earth and weak against Wind. Chakra of this type is easy to transform into electric energy. Lightning techniques use a lot of chakra, but ignore most defenses, so they work really well against small numbers.
Sub - Earth: Chakra of this type is very tightly bonded. It repels all outside influence, but falls apart if not fully united, making it strong against Water and weak against Lightning. Earth techniques exert tremendous force and can literally move mountains, but they tend to be slow to use and lack delicate touches. Best used for shielding, preparing a place ahead of time, etc.
Sub - Water: Chakra of this type is flexible and accommodating. It swallows up other forms of energy but has no impact on anything it can't absorb, making it strong against Fire and weak against Earth. Thanks to being so flexible, this type of chakra is the best kind for a medical ninja. Water techniques can be highly controlled, but don't do much to defend or attack, and it's difficult to make them very big - a kind of jack of all trades. They also rely on water that's already in the environment. Best used in watery places.
Sub - Fire: Chakra of this type is very chaotic. Its power is based on its bonds being disorganized and choppy (the more disorganized the better), making it strong against Wind and weak against Water. This kind of chakra affects a very large area, making it ideal against large groups.
Sub - Wind: Chakra of this type is very sharp. It cuts through materials and can even chop up other forms of chakra, making it strong against Lightning and weak against Fire. Wind techniques are best used with a tool. These tools can either help shape the wind, or can have their sharp edges sharpened even more. Wind techniques work best at medium range and are the most generalized of all techniques since they can lend their sharpness to anything.
Genjutsu - Alters the mind of the receiver, making them perceive things that aren't there. Stronger genjutsu can take over the receiver's entire nervous system, paralyzing them and allowing them to be controlled. Minor genjutsu leaves most of what the receiver sees intact, whereas major ones usually take over the receiver's entire perception. Genjutsu can affect the mind in other ways, causing damage or sometimes healing someone's mind without affecting their body. Usually works best on individuals, but can be used on groups if that group is united.
Medical - Alters the tissues of the body. Mostly used to heal, but can be used to harm as well. Medical ninjas must have great control over their chakra, or else healing treatments can become harmful. Medical techniques mostly stimulate tissues of the body to grow and/or cause them to move.
Sealing - Seals are patterns written in a material that carries chakra. If chakra is pushed into a seal, the seal activates. Seals can be used for healing, teleportation, explosions, storage, and many other things. How seals work is known, but not by the people writing this document.
Misc. - Chakra can be used in a more general way to improve various qualities of other objects. It can sharpen weapons and parts of one's own body, give muscles greater strength or speed, help people walk on vertical surfaces and water, and can be projected from the body to give someone features they didn't have before, such as wings, claws, or an entire second skin. Chakra can also be used to turn something into something else, clone items or people, move things around, and project some part of a person's spirit beyond their body. Advanced techniques may split their soul entirely, or grab people's souls from heaven and bring them back to life. This isn't even getting into some techniques that may or may not be chakra-based.
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All Konan could say after Ruta sat back this time was, "I can see why you believe chakra to be godlike." She had a feeling like they'd forgotten something, and the list was already more than she ever consciously thought about at once.
Sakumo cleared his throat. "Since our entire knowledge of what our originals could do is based on muscle memory, I vote we have further discussion on that miscellaneous category. Aside from what you know -" he was talking to Konan "- it's all we have." She agreed.
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Techniques That Can Only Be Used By Body Parts
Some abilities are granted by individual body parts. These parts obviously have no mind of their own and require a person's chakra to be operational, but it does not matter who uses these body parts. Anyone with any kind of chakra can use these parts, and they will have the same effect every time. They can even be swapped!
Sharingan - A special eye that only people descended from the Uchiha clan can develop. The iris is replaced by a red iris with black markings. The black markings form a circle with little commas in it. This is what the first form of the Sharingan looks like. Each basic Sharingan can have up to 3 commas. The basic form gives its bearer quicker reflexes, faster perception, and enhanced perception of details and spatial relations. Someone with the Sharingan can see little cues in another person's movements that allow them to predict an attack before it comes, and dodge things that would otherwise be too fast to dodge. Sharingans can be sacrificed to get their bearer out of certain death. The basic form is unlocked during strenuous battle.
Sub - Mangekyo Sharingan: The second and, as far as we know, most advanced form of the Sharingan. This form grants a small number of very specific abilities. The specific ability a Mangekyo grants depends on unknown factors. Likely suspects include who uses them and who they came from. The authors of this paper are not able to say anything for certain. The only Mangekyo Sharingans we know of are one set that can be used to set things on fire and project a very powerful illusion, one eye that opens a portal into another dimension at the user's will, and another eye that also opens a portal to another dimension (very suspicious). More research is needed. Unfortunately, more research is not likely to happen, because the Mangekyo can only be unlocked by watching someone die.
Rinnegan - A special eye that is so rare, we only know of one person alive who has it, and two people who have ever had it. Nothing is known to the authors of this paper about where this eye comes from, who can develop it, or how to unlock it. Everything except the pupil is replaced by a purple ringed pattern, resembling ripples. The Rinnegan has seven sets of powers. Set One can manipulate attractive and repulsive forces in defiance of any other force, and generate black rods from the arms. Set Two can absorb all chakra. Set Three can summon any being that has a black rod in its body without that being's consent. Set Four can touch people's souls in order to read their minds or pull the soul from their body. Set Five can fire missiles from any part of the body. Set Six can summon a giant mouth which only its targets can see; this giant mouth can kill targets by pulling their life force from their body, or bring bodies and/or machines back to life and perfect repair. Set Seven can control spirits, of the person with these eyes and of other people. It can possess dead bodies through the black rods and give each of them one of the other sets of power, bring dead people back to life (but only as long as they have not made it all the way into the afterlife), and integrate all the bodies into a spiritual network centered on the original eye-bearer, who is able to see everything the possessed bodies see and control them all at once. Set Seven can only be used by the original eye-bearer (or at least it would be a really bad idea to try anything else, so let's not).
Byakugan - A special eye that can only be naturally developed by members of the Hyuga clan. The pupil and iris are plain white, as if the person was blind. This eye can see over the full sphere of angles around someone's body, with a really long radius. Exact distance unknown. It can also see through any unaltered material substance and perceive chakra. Interactions with genjutsu unknown. A generalist eye, very helpful for anything I can imagine (medicine, surveying, just looking for things, etc.) I really like this one! It's so much more useful than the others.
Cells - There have been experiments performed with the cells of a man who had a powerful ability, trying to transplant those cells into the bodies of others. These efforts have reportedly been successful, with a least one person manifesting the same ability after being so experimented on. The ability in question was one of those mixed-element bloodline abilities. The name's obviously a misnomer if any cell will do. This would raise a ton of possibilities regarding how to spread the limited abilities to a wider population, except that the experiments killed everyone else who was tested, and the survivor's mastery might come from him fully incorporating those cells, as he was a child at the time. Effects of cell transplant on adults: unknown.
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"Well, that was depressing," Sakumo summarized.
Everyone agreed. Konan exhaled slowly through her nose. "Even so, and even if it is also impractical, it's best to not discard knowledge. The idea that individual cells, even those taken from a dead body, can hold their owner's power is an interesting one to know."
Ruta grimaced. "A dead guy? What - who - necrotic tissues?"
Konan looked at him. "Of course. Presumably, they were not necrotic at the time. Medical jutsu can do many things."
Ruta continued to grimace. Sakumo asked, "What's this part that's described as 'very suspicious'? One eye and one eye makes perfect sense to me; that's how many eyes people naturally have."
"Yes, but I can't explain it." Konan tilted her head in thought. "One of the men with that Mangekyo was not an Uchiha, so he could only have received the eye from someone else. The other man with the other eye is an Uchiha and could have unlocked it naturally; however, as far as I know, there is no link between them that could explain why he would have donated his other eye, if that is what happened. Either they both took an eye from someone else, or there is a link that I don't know about. The second man is an incredibly suspicious person who I have always collected information on, so possible information about his background is automatically deserving of investigation."
"Just to be sure who's who," Sakumo said, "there's one guy who definitely had an eye transplant, and you want to know who he got it from. The most likely suspect is another guy with a matching eye, but he's all mysterious and shadowy, and it doesn't seem like he would be that charitable just from the goodness of his heart."
"No." Definitely not charitable. What use would charity be, in his worldview? "He convinced Nagato and I to accept his worldview as the truth and take orders from him for some time. In his worldview, there is no place for charity, no need for it. If he did in the past do this, then his worldview was once different, which…" Her hand tightened. "Well, he was responsible for my death so I already know he was a bastard, but… Just how much were we tricked?"
The two Hatakes remained silent. Had either of them put two and two together before to realize she must have been present at her own death? Konan would find time to wonder that later, after she finished asking herself why she had said so much. Why did I tell them that much? What happened to propriety? I have the power to; I ought to keep my tongue in check. Even the people who have reasons to want to know about my personal life are unhappy when I tell them. It's wrong to force something so personal on strangers who have no reason to want to hear it.
"Why?" Ruta whispered, so lowly that it wasn't clear it was a question at first. "Why…" He looked away, shutting his mouth.
Really? Is he not offended? He wants to know more? Konan was astounded once again at the bravery shown by people of this world. How could they stand to lower their personal boundaries that far? She had to know. Gently, she laid a hand on Ruta's shoulder. "Finish that question." She tried not to make it sound like an order, but privately Konan knew she would go to some measures to make him finish if he refused.
Ruta looked up, his wide eyes blinking with innocent confusion. "Well…" He started, but then hesitated. He looked unsure if he was really allowed to ask. On the other hand, I know a grand total of a dozen extraordinary people. Maybe this level of disclosure is above normal. That would explain his hesitation. She nodded to reassure him that yes, she really did want to know what he had been asking about. What could he have wanted to know about my past? Nobody else seems at all willing to ask. Why is he?
Ruta meshed his fingers together and fiddled with them nervously. "I don't mean to insult you," he began. "I know things look different from different perspectives, and you did what looked right from yours, and all that. But, speaking from just my own perspective, I don't really understand what you said about accepting his worldview as the truth." He looked up at her more confidently. "A worldview can't be truth. I don't know if truth even exists. I pay a lot of attention to my mind and my thinking, so I've seen how worldviews are. Things seem so solid one hour, and then they don't even exist the next. No worldview can ever last. Nothing in it is really, verifiably real. So, why did you think his was real?"
Konan blinked at him. Her face was still. Inside, her mind was very busy. That's just what I said only a couple days ago! He seemed to be expecting a response, so she stalled for time. "No offense taken. I have thought the same myself."
He relaxed. "Really?"
Konan nodded. "But there are some things that do last," she remembered. "Traps of the mind, which fix parts of the mind in place and prevent them from changing. We refused his first offer, but accepted later, after we had become caught in such a trap. If you are trapped long enough and solidly enough, I remember disbelieving that it was possible for what I felt to ever change. My memories of previous change didn't look real." Why the hell am I telling them this much? I do not even know them. She sighed and stood up. "Lies are the most convincing truths," she said. Now that should be a proverb.
Ruta's shoulders slumped. "Oh…" He looked very sad at the thought.
Sakumo was looking down at the table and looked like he was going to keep looking there for a long time. "I know that," he murmured. "Like my son…"
Konan's eyes widened. It was surprising that they would want to share in return, instead of getting away from this uncomfortable topic like she had expected. But more importantly, his son? Kakashi? The demon boy? "You have a son?" she asked. Be gentle, be cautious, avert your eyes… These were good tips for stalking certain kinds of prey.
The wolf man was silent. He took his hands back and placed them in his lap. Ruta's eyes were wide, and he made neither sound nor movement. Konan could find nothing wrong with her technique, so she guessed there was no gentle way to approach this. She opened her mouth to back up and tell him he need not respond, when he said, "No," in a broken voice. He swallowed. "Never did."
That's...interesting… The broken edges of his voice sent tingles up her spine as it made her think of prey. Konan bit down on the sudden urge to laugh and tease him for more, watch him squirm in pain. She had a firm enough grasp this time to be horrified at herself. No! I need to get away from him. "My apologies. I think it's a good time to leave the both of us to our thoughts. I will go check on Hidan." She left the room post haste, her hands starting to shake and her head spinning. The thwarted desire was making its displeasure known. Her teeth ground together of their own accord before she made her jaw relax. Hidan will make this better. Hidan will make this better. She had called out for him to help that same night, hadn't she? Now he could.
She found Hidan looking at his arm outside the training room with the targets, his cloak and scythe on and a bag of something at his feet. He groaned as she approached. "It doesn't stretch this far. Lost the focus," he grumbled. Then his eyes narrowed. "Shiiiiiiit." He suddenly flattened himself against the wall as if trying to hide there.
Konan recognized the same avoidance in herself. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. I will not be afraid of myself. No one is around; this is the perfect time to confront myself. Anger wasn't great, but it was leagues above mindless retreat. Just what the hell is doing this to me? She tightened her right hand into a fist, stabbing her nails into her palms. That, too, was leagues above retreat, though she wasn't sure if it was better or worse than anger.
When she opened her eyes, Hidan had unflattened himself from the wall. He nearly snarled as he said, "Give me a sec." He closed his eyes and once more allowed everything to vanish. He lost focus but the anger disappeared, allowing him to come out on top of it when he regained his focus. "Okay," he said, having gained temporary control of the feelings forced upon him. "Now I can ask. What is it?"
Konan explained that her discussion with the two Hatakes had gotten into painful territory, causing Sakumo to reveal something hurtful. She then told him the complete story of what had happened last time she sensed weakness and hurt in Sakumo. Both times, she refrained from describing what the vulnerability was, out of fear her impulses would return.
Hidan thanked whatever it was for the clear-headedness which allowed him to think about what she was saying. "Seriously?" he asked. "I've never seen that, and Deidara's been vulnerable some times, as well as some other people being uncomfortable. I've never felt like this though."
Konan shuddered. "You're different. To be a member of the Akatsuki, your originals had to be much, much stronger than the typical shinobi," she explained. "You may not be your originals, but I still wouldn't dare."
Hidan looked at his hands. "I have felt kinda predatory around you and Sunshine together…"
"He's different," she repeated. "From the rest of the Akatsuki, I mean." So just because he doesn't have their level of battle power, I'm willing to treat him like a captured rabbit? Konan couldn't believe what she was saying. How can I feel that way toward him? I care about him! Don't I? She remembered often feeling like attacking something after being in too-close quarters with Yahiko. What is wrong with me?
Hidan shuddered too and struggled to regain his control. "Yeah, um… I got rocks." He held up the bag at his feet. "I got distracted by thinking of helping you and Moonlight. You had to search for some rocks yesterday, and didn't get a lot done…"
Konan swallowed. I'm forcing this on him, and on myself too. Stop it! She reminded herself that things weren't always what they seemed, often didn't make sense, etc. She had to have faith that her feelings toward Yahiko made sense in some way, and that she would eventually figure it out. "Thank you."
Hidan regained his control and pulled his sleeve down. "Yeah, um…" He peeked. "Right! Thing number one: training. I almost cut my leg off, so I thought I should control this thing better." He patted the top blade of his scythe. "Maybe you could come out and tell me how Other Me allegedly used rope, yet my control of the rope sucks so much."
Konan agreed, mostly for the excuse to take a closer look at his scythe. Where did his original get it from? After seeing it in action, she had no doubt the weapon could not have come from an ordinary weapons shop.
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