Konan
The room she pulled Nagato into was a room of convenience, just a place to show him what she had learned. The rest of her notes were in her room, but she was a trained shinobi. Of course I can remember all of it. Anything I wish. Nagato needed to know the critically important things she had to say.
He prudently sat down on the bed and looked attentive before she could push him onto it. Konan's heart leaped. Excellent! She dove onto the bed next to him and, turning so that he could see the screen, opened the laptop. Her fingers skimmed over the keys, entering a wrong password. She deleted it and entered another wrong one.
"Maybe if you slowed down…"
"Stop distracting me." Who the hell does he think he is, my father? It's hard enough remembering someone else's meaningless code. Get out of my hair!
After the 5th try, she typed in the password correctly. The desktop came up, revealing a picture of a scorpion perched on top of a fence post. She growled, a short snarl of frustration at seeing that her work was not on the screen. Then she remembered the "cloud" that Hidan had mentioned, how she had put everything there for safekeeping. Where was that again? Maybe she should just show him everything from the start…
Nagato fidgeted. "Where did you get a laptop?"
Konan opened up Wikipedia, typed in the whole whirling storm of new words circling around in her head. "Hidan asked about one."
Nagato let her snarl again, then figure out that she couldn't open all the tabs at once and start searching at a more normal pace before he inquired again. "What answer did he get?"
Konan's fingers paused. If she went to the article for demon, could she open all the tabs? But she really really wanted to look for one of the things she had spent all this time looking for. Decisions, decisions. She made one after a few seconds and searched for the article on demons. She hadn't heard Nagato's second question at all.
This article sucked. It had no list of demons at all! She scrolled furiously past endless descriptions of religions she had no interest in. There, at the bottom, was a list of blue words related to this article. Her eyes bounced around. Yokai? Oooh. What did this world have to say about them? She opened that article and read the first paragraph. Nagato cleared his throat and asked what Hidan had found again.
"Hm? Oh, nothing. Sasori refused to loan it out." Interesting… She made sure to diligently read through the entire article before opening all the tabs. She'd gone through five of them and opened 18 more in their place before Nagato was able to compose a response.
"Did...did you break into Sasori's house last night?" he asked.
Konan blinked. "Of course. The library closed at midnight."
"...This is not a good way to get us to like or listen to you," Nagato finally said. What else could he appeal to? For some reason, he didn't think arguing on the basis of morality would be effective right now.
"I have demons to read about." Actually, the article she was on now was discussing the eruption of Mt. St. Helen, but who cared about details? Is Mt. St. Helen anywhere near here? I should have a complete list made of any local volcanoes.
"In the middle of the night?" The logical link occurred to him just then. "You haven't slept all night, have you?"
"Sleep is for people who don't have trees to read about," she answered. Whoa. Who knew trees could be so interesting? She got bored and skipped to the next tab, which was on medieval blacksmithing, halfway through.
Nagato got the funny sense that he could not possibly get a coherent conversation out of her. "So, what did you bring me in here to look at?" he asked.
Konan stopped scrolling. She got a strange look on her face. "Demons. All kinds of demons." She sacrificed the article on trees to search for the article on demons instead. This time she tried to look for something specific. Yaoguai? No. No. Demons. Focus. She opened that in a separate tab for later. Focus! The words on the page began to spin even as she tried to focus on them. A low growl started in her throat. Burn everything!
Nagato reached over and clicked on "list of fictional demons" for her. The lowercase "f" in the title flipped her off. She scrolled down viciously. ! The list was so long! Her eyes raced down the list, eager to open everything. No. Wrong. Nothing's familiar. This was the wrong list! She grew furious with Nagato for taking her here. No. No. Reason. Focus. Demons aren't supposed to be real. Makes sense to look in fiction. How would he know it's wrong? Look for more demons. List of theological demons then? Rrrrrrrrrrrr…. More names of specific demons greeted her. Wrong. Wrong. Different list. Konan valiantly resisted the temptation to relax by looking at the article on blue whales.
So, so, so, what list has them? A ha! Classification of demons! Konan looked through the entire list of contents. Nothing looked like what she was looking for. This laptop and its Internet were the most useless features she had ever seen. Why invent a device that offers limitless knowledge and make it too distracting to actually learn from at the same time? Konan breathed in and out. Calm. Calm. It was not the device's fault that it was so useless. It was the fault of the people who made it. She vowed to kill anyone who she discovered to have some part in the production of these machines from now on.
Still she scrolled down. Hey! shouted a voice. Who was that, sounding so impatient? Oh… Konan was thrilled to see some delightful blue words: incubi and succubi. She closed every other tab and opened these two. She turned and grabbed Nagato's shoulder, shook him to get his attention. "This."
Nagato opened, then closed, his mouth. It would be a very bad idea to ask why she hadn't just searched for these articles in the first place, he realized. Instead he tried his best to go with the flow, think through why she wanted to show him this so badly. "Okay. Sex-changing demons. Very important." Wait a second. He realized what he'd just said. "Oh. Sex-changing demons are important."
Konan smiled brightly at him. "Yes! This is the answer!" She turned and pointed excitedly to the first paragraph of both articles where the definitions of succubus and incubus were given. "This is just what Yahiko described. And Hidan said he couldn't feel demons. It's perfect!"
Nagato felt he was on much more stable footing now. "So the woman in the bar was actually a succubus, who turned into her male form when Hidan injured her. That's what Yahiko saw."
"Precisely." Konan turned back to the screen. "I took extensive notes on their characteristics, weaknesses and strengths, which are in the other room where I was doing my research. Don't worry, I remember what I found. Their primary characteristic is the ability to change sex. In addition, they have a powerful hypnotic quality. After selecting a target, they will change into the appropriate sex and approach. The victim will be utterly hypnotized by feelings of uncontrollable lust and will lose the ability to resist their influence. By having sex with the victim, the demon steals the victim's soul. So the demon is very powerful and would be too dangerous to risk fighting if only one of us were to approach. We should stay in a group composed of people who are attracted to different sexes so it can't victimize anyone."
Nagato picked up this surprisingly coherent line of thought. "But aside from that, they aren't very different from human beings, so we could deal with one, right?"
Konan nodded fast enough that she saw stars. "Yes."
"Okay." Nagato was encouraged. She was all over the place and in too much of a frenzy to be stopped, but if he was careful he might just be able to steer her in more harmless directions. "Hidan can pick up anyone's feelings, including lust, so it wouldn't matter what form the demon was in. He would still be vulnerable. We also know a succubus can hurt him very badly, so you should keep him out of the planning sessions since he won't be involved." Keep her away from Hidan - check. "Yahiko and I have different sexual orientations, so one of us would always be competent. We like to do things together anyway, so you should definitely talk with him as well about this." Get her to interact with Yahiko in some friendly manner - check. "And it would be faster if you talked to more than one person at a time so the news could spread faster. You should talk to Kakuzu and Yahiko together, since Kakuzu's staying today." Protect Yahiko - check. Any other objectives?
Nagato saw the time display on the laptop. Uh oh. She'd spent so long searching that he was already supposed to be at work by now. "And, since you've already told me everything, I can go into town and go through my day as usual, and I'll tell anyone else about it if I meet them."
Konan nodded. "Yes. Tell everyone. This is very, very important news." Go to work - check. Nagato bid her adieu and left, looking for Yahiko. He found him in his own room, preparing his nerve for the day.
Nagato knocked on the open door. Yahiko looked up and relaxed when he saw who it was. "Um...hey. Why are you still here?"
Good question. "I was kidnapped by Konan into helping her deal with the mysterious woman that hurt Hidan. The good news is that she's very excited and motivated to share with you all the information she's found. The bad news is that when I say very excited, I mean way too much. 'Accidentally hurting people' way too much. I've got her focused now on telling you all about her research and planning strategies. She's going to be talking with you and Kakuzu. Keep her away from Hidan, because he's even more likely to hurt people when he's in a mood like this, do not do anything to make her angry at you, and keep her focused on whatever subject she is coherent about. Stay with Kakuzu at all times. Ride the flow. Support the flow. If she gets distracted, she might boil out in all directions and do something bad. Try to get Sasori's laptop back from her at some point."
Yahiko's eyes and mouth were wide open. "What do you mean by accidentally hurting people?"
Nagato looked back into the hall. She wasn't there. He looked back to Yahiko. "I mean that when she got frustrated searching for the information she'd found, she started growling and looked like she wanted to smash the laptop or something, and I do not at all think she is capable of stopping herself if she does get the desire to smash things. She wouldn't even find it morally or legally wrong at this point. Like I said, stay out of her way and support her in everything. Do not directly oppose her."
Yahiko gulped. "Uh-oh."
"Don't worry. I'm leaving for work now. I'll be fine. You can do this." Nagato left before any disaster could come along to undo all his efforts. Yahiko borrowed that hand gesture Hidan sometimes did when he focused and used it now. Once he did so, the amount of viable ideas that came to his mind about how to manage this situation surprised him. It wasn't like he'd ever doubted Nagato, but… Huh. It seemed he really could do this after all.
Back in her commandeered room, Konan wondered what exactly Nagato's job was. But he'd already left. I'll have to ask Yahiko. No, I'll want to slice him open and other terrible things if I talk to him. Safest to have Kakuzu around at all times. Despite this, her growling and tensing of claws continued. The electric, searing heat burned with no signs of abating or stopping. Thinking of Yahiko turned it up. Konan shuddered with pain. Her heartbeat was unstoppable. Uncontrollable. Her will was turning in Yahiko's direction. Keep him safe. Think of demons. Think of Hidan.
Hidan. Of course, she had to do more and more to find out about this demon. Hidan had to be kept safe. As she pushed up from the bed to go and find Kakuzu, she mustered a last bit of self control to keep herself from fully realizing that thinking of Hidan meant Yahiko was safe. For now.
Yahiko
After five minutes, he got up and peered out into the hallway. It had occurred to him after three minutes of thinking that in a way, this was just an adaptation of his previous plans for today. He'd already figured that asking her to train him would be the safest route. Now, he wouldn't have to ask her. Vigilance was part of a ninja's duties, right? This was just a daylong vigilance exercise that he hadn't asked her for. He could do it.
Nagato said Hidan should be kept safe. He was already supposed to talk to Hidan. He already set things up with her. So, Hidan's probably already safe away from here. I just need to keep Konan from pursuing him. Yahiko paused a moment to be grateful for how good he felt, thinking like this. It was always wise to take a moment to stop and be grateful for the little things. Then he continued. I also need to find Kakuzu. Even if I don't get in her way, she reacts badly sometimes. Where would Kakuzu be?
His original didn't seem to have any notable tracking skills, so this idea sent a thrill up Yahiko's neck. It was a good thrill. He closed his eyes and tried to tap into some kind of hidden ninja senses. Some instinct told him Konan was probably nearby. No way ninjas operate on normal senses. Those would be too slow. I've got it! No such instinct told him about Kakuzu. Yahiko opened his eyes and attempted to pinpoint what direction Konan was in. He couldn't tell. Then he tried approaching this instinct by another way, asking himself, Should I go left or right? He froze, and wondered why. He seemed to be waiting. For what?
Finally, the answer came. Right. His room was on the inside edge of the left hallway, so right was the direction he needed to go to reach the backyard. Yahiko ran down the hall, trusting his instincts to keep his footsteps quiet and warn him if she approached. His feet felt warm, and his steps were very quiet. Chakra?
He passed the second cross hallway and turned to go out the back door behind the stairs. Ohh, that's why I was waiting. I needed her to get out of this hallway. It made sense, and who was he to argue? He opened the door and leaped out over the stoop, traveling an unexpected distance before coming down on the grass. His surprise kicked in just before he landed, causing him to stumble. Yahiko got a really good idea what he and Kakuzu should train in first. Where was Kakuzu?
I didn't sense any indication of him inside, but I'm pretty sure Konan's there. I'm doing an evasion exercise, right? Evade Konan and find Kakuzu. First priority of evasion is to evade, or else you could get hurt and then you can't find anything. That made sense. It sounded like advice he'd heard once, about saving yourself before you try to save others. He ran into the forest.
His instincts were not suited to the forest floor nearly as well as they were to the inside of the building. They did nothing to muffle the sound of him stepping on twigs or crunching the meager leaf cover. Yahiko considered what to do about this. I could do ninja things. Running seems a little ordinary. He put a hand on a nearby tree trunk and channeled chakra into it. Nagato's chakra can push and pull things, and mine can at least change shape or something. Maybe I can shape it into something to hold onto things? Yahiko was delighted to discover that he did not need to. His chakra was enough to stick to the trunk without any shaping. Oh! Nagato's special power is just that he doesn't need to touch things to do this, that's all! He suppressed a laugh as he took a cautious step onto the trunk, then another, and another. The world looked strange from a horizontal perspective. Wowwwwww…
He tried leaping from tree to tree. He landed on the next tree just barely, almost falling on the ground. His vision being at right angles to the force of gravity was disorienting. He couldn't travel like this. Staying still had to be a worse way to evade someone than moving and snapping the occasional twig, right? Or… He climbed up the trunk and righted himself on a branch. Although the branch was only an inch wide, it could barely support his weight. Even at the very end, all it would do was bend. With chakra helping him hold on there was no problem. Yahiko suppressed another giggle. Wheeee!
He walked to the end of the branch until it started to bend beneath him, then crouched. He looked for a slightly thicker branch to absorb his landing, and jumped. Yahoo! He landed with a slight bending of the branch beneath him. Oh, wow. I feel just like a monkey, when they show them jumping across a river in nature documentaries. This is so natural! He repeated this once more, then again. Then there were no obvious branches for him to jump to, so he tried to push chakra out of his feet like rocket fuel to propel himself really high onto a trunk. His arms did not completely appreciate landing on something in front of him, but it was a fine landing. He crawled around the trunk and spied another branch. Leaping horizontally was a pain, but it was lower than he was. He jumped, and landed easily. This time Yahiko did not bother repressing laughter. I am a tree master!
He stopped to figure out where Kakuzu could be. I guess he can't be too many places, since we haven't done much in the forest before. Hidan only showed us a couple bodies of water. So he headed off, leaping from branch to branch towards the stream.
Yahiko was giddy with delight by the time he saw Kakuzu sitting by the calm part of the stream that was good to rest by. The older man seemed to be thinking, or perhaps preparing himself to deal with the insanity that awaited. Yahiko leaped once more, then got the idea to turn and wave, shouting "Hi!" in midair. This predictably altered his course. Kakuzu's eyes went wider when he saw Yahiko waving to him in midair, and stayed wide when he saw Yahiko bounce off a branch and come tumbling down, rolling along the surface of the water. He was speechless for the next minute as Yahiko got to his hands and feet, sat up, made sure he did not have any pieces of the branch left in his face, and wiped himself clean. Well, mostly. There was a small scratch scarily close to his eye. Yahiko looked down to get some water to clean it with, and realized for the first time that he was sitting on the water.
… Yahiko stared down. He was on top of the water. He had rolled across it, even. …? He slowly raised his head and turned back to look at Kakuzu. Kakuzu blinked and regained some of his usual composure. "Don't start getting a swelled head," he warned.
"I don't think I'm Jesus," Yahiko replied dumbly.
Kakuzu did not reply, instead looking at the water beneath Yahiko. His eyes narrowed in an expression of thought, and he got up and started walking. At the edge of the stream Kakuzu stepped forward without any hesitation, rightly assuming that hesitation would keep him from reflexively doing it, and walked out to join Yahiko on the far edge of the water. He sat down slowly, looking down at himself the whole time. When he was finished sitting, Kakuzu finally replied, "Perhaps Jesus was a ninja. I seem to be adjusting my chakra so that it holds the water together. That's why we can do this."
Yahiko finally recovered his wits enough to shake his head as if he was a dog shaking off water. "Whoa. Okay. Why didn't Konan tell us we could walk on water? This is, no doubt, the most, um, relevant part of what I've learned since she got here."
Kakuzu shivered slightly. "You did do this automatically without even realizing… Maybe impersonating deities is normal where she comes from."
Yahiko asked the unspoken follow up question. "Then what isn't normal?"
A couple seconds of silence passed, during which they silently agreed to table this discussion. Yahiko tried to use his water controlling abilities to pick up the water. It felt vaguely unpleasant to twist his chakra around in ways he hadn't tried before, and at one point he sent shivers throughout his entire body causing him to drop it, but he did succeed in picking up a small amount of water and holding it in his hands. He carefully applied this to the scratch near his eye, cautiously stirring it with a small release of chakra to get it to clean his wound. The last small traces of blood were washed away in no time, and with no pain whatsoever. Yahiko let it fall back into the stream and sighed in amazement. Wow. I could use that in so many good ways! In his amazement, he failed to notice what wasn't happening. Namely, that his scratch was no longer bleeding or itching.
Once they reached the bank and stood on dry land once more, Yahiko remembered his mission. "Oh! Kakuzu. I need to tell you about something." And so he filled in Kakuzu on how Konan was, what they were expected to do, and Nagato's warnings. He included Nagato's last request about Sasori's laptop, and Kakuzu's eyes did something Yahiko had never thought he would see. His last few sentences died on his lips. Yahiko was almost scared to ask, "Kakuzu? What's wrong?"
Kakuzu facepalmed gently and shook his head. "Something's wrong with that girl, that's what." He lowered his hand and clarified that Sasori's house had been broken into overnight, and the engineer was not at all happy about this. Yahiko thought he understood enough about Sasori by now to know what that meant. What has she done? Why would she do that? He got a sinking feeling in his gut that reminded him of despair.
Yahiko's voice was deeper than usual as he turned and, with a tone of determination that surprised himself, stated, "We have to do something for her." Kakuzu sounded bewildered as he argued with Yahiko on this point. Yahiko found his hands tightening in response. "No. She wouldn't do something to ruin her chances that badly if she could avoid it. She needs help." Kakuzu seemed to be of the opinion that if Konan wanted to destroy her own goals, she should be allowed to do so. Yahiko reached back and summoned the courage to grab Kakuzu's forearm and pull him along.
Kakuzu actually went along, surprised as he was by being moved like this. Yahiko explained, "Sorry. Nagato worried about her accidentally hurting someone. He said I shouldn't be alone." Kakuzu growled and yanked his hand out of Yahiko's grip. Resentfully rubbing it, he nonetheless followed. That did sound like something she could do, and as much as he believed in free will, he believed death for childish stupidity was a disproportionate consequence. Who knew. If he could charm moths, maybe he could charm other wild beasts. Maybe this kid would accomplish something. Kakuzu suppressed a snort.
Konan was waiting for them when they got back.
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Sorry for the delay