Giving a chance to Treize is not something I have thought of in my past life but even now, I was not expecting it. But then I thought of in my past life.
In the second half of my college life, I learned that Treize and his girlfriend from high school broke up and there were many rumors surrounding it. Some people say that it was because of a third party while others say that it was because of long distance that made them fell apart. At first I was a bit happy but I also was sad because even if they broke up, I was never really was an option for him. Sometimes his posts would appear on my timeline, I will be a bit surprised then put some of my attention to it but not letting it go all over my head. But it was in my fourth year of college when I heard from a friend of Treize's girlfriend that he and his girlfriend Samantha, got back together. I was devastated especially when his posts were all about their relationship and how happy they were and in contrast, I was here, sad and alone.
But when I think about it, I am different now and there is no guarantee that he will again fall in love with Samantha in this life. However, I was still apprehensive and have reservations especially knowing that Samantha will study here next year if that doesn't change. I have so many questions and what ifs clouds my mind but still I want give him the benefit of the doubt and give me and him a chance so I said to him.
"You know how I decided I won't get a boyfriend while in high school?"
"Yes, what about it?"
"That still stands but I will give you a chance to prove yourself. If you can wait for me until we both graduate high school, we can be together if the future permits."
"Of course I can wait. Don't worry, I'm sure we'll be together."
"Don't be too sure, what if you fall in love with someone else or I fall in love with someone else?"
"That won't happen, I'll make sure of it."
He said that with conviction but a part of me can't help but have worries. We parted ways but my mind was full of scenarios and related thoughts. I whispered to myself, We'll see next year, if you can really uphold what you said, I can break my promise and let us be together in high school but if you fail me, that will be the last time I will entertain any thoughts of you. And I said that with firm resolve this time.
And so things just went like that, and I became more open to the people around me. It was because I thought that if I can even give a chance to Treize who have broken my heart for so many times, why won't I also give a chance to the people who have disappointed me in the past and I hope that they won't make me regret the chances I have given.
In these following months, I gained some new company and made new memories with my classmates. They also noticed that I wasn't so uptight and closed off like before so we all became closer and had fun. I enjoyed the time and was glad that I can be this carefree. I was also able to enjoy the monthly programs and join in the fun and compete sometimes.
The big event of each year was the Intramurals and it is about to be held this coming month. The Intramurals is a school event wherein the whole school was divided into 4 teams but we are divided through the teachers privy. At this time, our theme was Hogwarts' Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and Hupplepuff. The team you belong to would use the designated theme as the theme of the cheers and shirts. And this time, I was a sub-leader of the Hupplepuff team. Being a sub-leader at 1st year was both an honor and responsibility because it was very rare for a first year to lead and a responsibility because I would be also given a responsibility in managing something. Almost all team leaders are chosen in the fourth year, there is a third year or second year that is chosen as vice leader but it was interchangeable. Those that are not chosen are automatically become regular members of the team. In being sub leader, I will be given a task by the leaders which I will be in charge of. At first, they wanted me to be the representative of our team in the pageant but I vehemently declined. And so they have given me the task of being in charge of our costume that must be unique to our team. After the class is finished in the afternoon, there will be time given to us to conduct practices for the presentations and our piece of the competition which would then spark teamwork and sometimes, rivalry which was hard not to avoid when it comes to competitions. In a team, fiendships are being formed and sometimes affection builds towards one another especially when in a team. Since I was in a team and a sub leader at that. I can't help but spent some time with our team members and especailly the leaders. Since I have known them even before too, I quite idolize them because they are so competent not even talking about how good looking and talented they are that it amazes me. Since they are my leaders, I was able to get close to them, and build a special camaraderie wherein we stand together in every situation in the competition but that didn't sit well with Treize. It made him jealous but sometimes he goes over the top so I cannot help but reprimand him when we talk alone.
"Mind I remind you Treize that you and I are not yet together so you do not have the right to make a claim on me. And might I just emphasize, We are not doing anything wrong! You are just the one who thinks too much."
"I'm not thinking too much, I'm a man too so I know what they are thinking when they approach you."
"Oh please, not everyone sees me in that way."
"Not everyone but almost all those who approach you have that thing in mind, it is different from what you think. It was not all friendship, you are the only one thinking about that. Especially knowing that you don't have a boyfriend, of course they will think they still have a chance!"
After his outburst this time, what he said made me think and realize that he's got a point. But that doesn't change the point.
"I'm sorry if you feel that way but still, even if he feels that way towards me, it's fair game between you since we are not together. And if I don't like it they won't be able to do anything because I wont be giving them a chance at all. I may be close to them but there is a limit to that. They can think all they want but I can't hold that to them right. I can't possibly tell them to stop thinking about me. That is not something I have control of. But what I can do is to reject them if I want to but I can only do that if they do confess and I don't like them. I can't possibly reject someone who has not even confessed yet. "
Then he said,"It's okay. That's enough for me."
And so I said,"That's good then. But remember your position. We are not together. Be sure to remember that"
But he answered ,"Yet. Its only a matter of time, Carmela and soon you'll be mine."
So I said,"We'll see Treize, we'll see." And I again left him alone to think and ponder by himself.
After my confrontation with Treize, I also made sure to not be too close with the leader or he might misunderstand that I like him in that way. I focused more on my task with our teams' costume which I designed with an inspiration from the future. For the men, I got inspired by the shirt worn by Robert Pattinson in his role as Cedric Diggory. It was a two tone long sleeves shirt, half yellow and half black with embroidered pattern of the house in the breast pocket, paired with jeans and white shoes. On the other hand, I've chosen a simple black blouse as top paired with a plaid yellow and black skirt and white shoes for the girls. It was simple yet gets theme and not over the top. And so I have finished the design and I can finally finish my task once the clothes are ready. After I have finished the job, I made sure that me and the leader are not left alone which was pretty easy to do when you are in charge of a lot of people. Eventhough the leader did not really confess, it's best to nip the bud before it grows. Afterall, he is a fourth year and I don't really like him in that way. Whether I like it or not, Treize does really mean much to me than I let on and I know that the leader had a lot of past relationships before. And he will soon go to college and may find someone he likes more and who likes him too.
What was so amazing was that after I somehow kept a distance, he got the hint and did not confront or made a move on me anymore which can only mean he does not have much deep feelings towards me or maybe I am merely a passing fancy that he is not serious to. It did not get me sad or mad because I did not hope of a relationship to come out of it at all. But it still amazes me how mature he can be especially when compared to Treize. I just hope I made the right decision and choice. Looking at him in the classroom discretely, but saying on my mind, Treize please don't let me down.