After what Treize said that day, it left me confused and had a lot of questions on my mind but after several days, it finally dawned on me.
It was just a regular day and I was doing the same things I do when I go to school, I read books or I talk to my seatmates talking about whatever our subject comes into. But at this time, I went to school happily and had a - come what may- attitude but I noticed that most students looked at me differently. I could see that it was different because sometimes others would look at me with pity or others have a gloating expression. When I was walking to the restroom at one time, I heard a student talking with some other girl while they thought I wasn't around.
"Was it true what I heard?"
"Yes I confirmed it with a relative that was in their circle of friends."
At first I was wondering what they were talking about and was about to go out when I heard them say my name.
"Oh really?! Then Carmela is really pitiful."
"That's what she gets for stealing all the attention of the boys, karma struck her this time."
I was about to go out and confront them but then they said something that shocked my mind.
"But she is still pitiful since she gets cheated just like that by Treize. Men really can't be trusted."
"Still, you can't blame him, he is a man and that Samantha was also beautiful."
"You really never know what happens huh. Even if you are already almost perfect, men still can find a reason to cheat and replace you with someone else."
"Yes, how tragic."
It was only after they left that I was finally become conscious after what they said knocked some senses into me. At first I was not believing them to give Treize the benefit of the doubt but what it was only after a friend sa d something that it really hit me.
When I returned from the restroom, I didn't let what I heard affect me but seriously waited for the next class but a friend which was also my seatmate this time asked me.
"Are you okay, Carmela?"
"What? Why wouldn't I be okay, Cristina?"
"But wasn't Treize together with Samantha? Together as in the lover together type. Didn't you know?"
"I did not know." I said whisperingly. I was in a trance for a few moment but then composed myself and said to myself.
'Keep calm Carmela. You're in school and there are a lot of people waiting for you to breakdown. Don't give them a chance to bring you down. Its okay Carmela, you've been through this before. You know you've tried and it's his fault for not being able to meet your expectations. Remember Carmela, HE IS NOT A LOSS!'
After repeatedly hypnotizing myself. Then I said to my friend Cristina.
"Oh really? Then that's good for him." I said that a little loudly and nonchalantly.
"Then some of the girls in class interrupted our conversation and said
"Are you not angry? You're being cheated on." A classmate beside Treize said that to me in a looking for trouble kind of way. So I said while also looking at them.
"Why would I be angry? We are not together so there's nothing to be angry about. What he does and who she is with is none of my business. He is a nobody to me." I said the last words in a firm voice. But Treize just looked at me first then looked away.
While at school, there was already a gossip about us three, Samantha, me and Treize without me knowing and said that it was a love triangle between us three, it became soon distorted but was quickly handled by my timely clarification.
I was so thankful that I kept the matter between us a secret before or it would have caused greater turmoil in school if that happened. At the end of the class on that day, Treize texted me to meet him in an unused classroom when nobody wa around anymore. And I went because I also wanted to set things straight and end things between us.
I arrived at the classroom confidently, not letting my emotions be seen on my face.
"I'm here" I said.
"So I see. " Treize answered.
There was silence between us for a few minutes but he soon broke it by asking.
"What do you mean by what you said at school, Carmela?"
"I meant clearly what I said Treize."
"What about us, Carmela."
"There was no us, Treize. You made it exceptionally clear by being with Samantha."
"But we clearly had something happening between us. I felt it, clearly you felt it too?"
"Yes I have but so what, you ended things before it even begun Treize. "
"But you asked it by not doing what I want Carmela."
"Is it the reward you asked for that you are talking about? If it was, it was not my fault Treize, don't out the blame on me. I am not obliged to do what you want just because you asked for it. And clearly, what I did was correct because you proved to be more of a jerk than I thought. "
"It was a simple request Carmela and you can't even give it. What little thing that was compared to waiting for 4 years."
"I did not force you to wait for me, Treize. It was you who decided to do that so you can court me and I'll give you a chance. But you blew that chance away.
"It was just a kiss, Carmela, can't you just have given it quickly. It won't even take too long, and I won't ask for more."
"It may be a simple thing for you but for me it was a great deal. It meant something more for me than just a kiss. A kiss maybe something you can give easily but for me it was not. It was something that I have cherished for many years. A kiss is something I give to someone who I love, who loves me wholeheartedly, who understands where I'm coming from, accepts me of all my flaws and imperfections, takes care of me, someone I can lean on to and someone I could put my trust and hopefully would not break my heart. That is what I want for my first boyfriend.
"But I love you and you love me, what Korean can you ask for?"
"Why Treize, Is it so wrong for me to get to know you more, to wait until I can trust you, to wait until I can put my whole heart and self to you? Being in a relationship does not only have love in it, Treize. There are a lot of things that would test our love in the future and love is not enough to sustain a relationship. Because what if we encounter problems along the way, what if our love becomes rocky, what then? What if we suddenly lost the spark between us, would you leave me for someone else? And you clearly proved that you will, Treize. You instantly found someone else when I couldnt give you what you want. And I want my boyfriend to be loyal to me and would only want me and you proved to be not that someone, Treize. "
I was about to leave right then but Treize suddenly pulled me and hugged me.
"No Carmela. Please give me a chance. Let me correct my mistakes. I don't want to lose you. "
"What do you mean by that? You are already with someone else."
"Can't you just wait for me too? I waited for you so you have to wait for me too. I will definitely be with you when the time comes."
It felt like there was a ringing in my head when I heard what he said, I was controlling myself really hard not to hit him and asked.
"Do you mean to say that you will be with Samantha whilst waiting for the end of high school and when it was finally the time, you would break up with her immediately and be with me?"
Then he said in a matter of fact tone.
"You brought the words right out my mind. That was what I exactly what I mean."
I wasnt able to hold my anger and slapped him in the face.
"How dare you say that! What am I, a spare tire you can use after you have fully used the first one? Am I a joke to you? No, don't answer! I don't ever want to talk to you ever again!"