Pain.
That's all I've been able to feel for longer than I can remember.
I don't know how long I've been feeling all this, I lost track of time a long time ago. Besides, I don't have the opportunity to sustain my thoughts for long now. The pain always attacks my senses relentlessly, preventing me from thinking consistently.
At some point during this hellish agony, the pain of having my atoms shredded disappeared. The process itself was still going on; I could feel that something was happening, but the pain simply disappeared. It became something I could bear as if it were normal, it no longer affected me.
Contrary to what you might expect, I wasn't happy with the end of the process.
After so much torment, I was no longer sane. My mind, me, was destroyed. I was just a hollow humanoid entity without the slightest awareness, my mind only knew pain, nothing but it.
As if it knew what was happening to me, the purple energy that held my fragment of consciousness suddenly expanded, recreating pieces of my broken consciousness, giving me back my rationality and senses.
These little pieces looked different from the original little piece, they were completely purple, while the original was white, just like my current form.
"Is it over?" I asked myself, with the terror of that hellish agony deeply engraved in my memory, making me remember it completely, much to my chagrin.
After a few minutes of feeling nothing, I breathed a sigh of relief.
'Looks like that God has reconsidered his words. If possible, I don't want to go through this ever again.
As the relief settled on me more and more, as if it wanted to mock me, another pain, even worse than the first, attacked me.
This time, my consciousness remained intact, with only the white piece of it shaking incessantly, which intensified my suffering hundreds of times more for my senses.
Now, it seemed that something beyond my body was being subjected to this cruel process, as if it were my soul. Something that transcended the mere matter of my being.
My soul, what I supposed it was, was white and was being constantly compressed until it was the size of a marble and then thrown into a pool of black liquid that was slowly eating away at it like acid. After this process, a single sliver of it returned to me, growing and repeating the cycle.
The purple energy that sustained my consciousness suddenly expanded towards the pool of black liquid, merging with it little by little until it dominated it and finally replaced it.
After replacing the black liquid, each time my compressed soul was thrown into the pool of purple liquid, the sliver that returned to me took on a purple hue.
Each time a purple splinter replaced a white part of my soul, my pain lessened a little, which made me extremely hopeful. But the pain was still intense, and I knew I would have to wait until the purple puddle had finished its work before I could allow myself to be happy.
The original piece of my mind that had previously remained would occasionally break off, giving way to the purple energy that completely replaced it, further relieving my pain. From time to time, my broken mind was rebuilt into a few pieces by the expanding purple energy.
This process lasted until my soul and mind were completely composed of purple energy and I could no longer feel pain.
After a brief period of relief, I once again felt that something was happening to me. I prepared myself to feel another mind-shattering pain, but after a few minutes, it didn't hurt anymore.
It was like before; I could feel that something was happening to me, but I couldn't feel the pain.
"Finally, finally I'm free of all this torment!" I was extremely happy; only I know how much.
My happiness was short-lived when a question came to mind, puzzling me.
"Where did this purple energy come from? What is it? Something as miraculous as that can't be simple." This purple energy had been able to annul all the pain I felt from the torture of a God. How did I get my hands on something like that?
Thinking deeply, I decided to keep it a secret. I didn't know where it came from, and something so good couldn't be revealed like that. Maybe even that God would be interested in it, and I'd be finished, becoming his lab rat or even worse.
While I was thinking, my ethereal body began to shatter, piece by piece, which made me panic.
"What's happening? Damn it, what do I do?!" My worry didn't last long; the purple energy got to work, replacing the missing parts of my body. Whenever a part broke, it expanded and replaced it.
"Oh, thank you, old me, for finding something so incredible..." I murmured as I watched my body being rebuilt, the white gradually being replaced by purple.
After a while, my body turned the same purple as the rest. This time, I didn't notice any perceptible change against the pain, but the purple energy was very strange. My body certainly wasn't normal now, I just didn't know what was different.
"But how do I turn my body back to white? I need to find a way before that crazy guy comes back. I can't let him see this."
I started thinking furiously about a solution to this. I had to hide it no matter what I did.