A loud crackling sound emits from the bonfire that we're all leisurely sitting around, the bright embers emitting from it decorating the area above it as casual chatter goes around and bottles of ciders that Damien brought along with him get passed around. The only person who politely shakes his head at being offered an alcoholic beverage is Kai. Even I'm peer pressured into taking the cider by my friends.
I lean forward in my camping chair, holding a stick above the scorching heat to roast the marshmallow pierced through the heart with the stick.
Beside me, Dominic tips his cider back and wets his whistle with a large gulp. His, drinking like this, reminds me of the time we were stuck in that restroom, and he refused to drink the water from the basin. His drunken behaviour is more so what stuck with me than anything. I wonder, is the cider alcoholic enough to alter his behaviour again?
It's as if he feels my stare on him because he tilts his head to glance over at me. When our eyes meet, and the orange light from the fire flickers and dances around his face, I furrow my eyebrows in confusion.
Why am I not falling into the daze I usually do where I get sucked into his beautiful, dark browns?
It must be the alcohol, I think, it's decreasing my inhibitions. As usual, he's wearing a beanie, a few curly strands hanging over his forehead and almost hiding his eyes.
When he shrugs in question, I smile stiffly and shake my head from side to side dismissively. For a few seconds, we just keep looking at each other. What is he thinking, I wonder, especially with how fervent his look feels.
With his lips pursed slightly, he waves me over to him and my brows twitch curiously as I lean over to hear what he has to say to me. My arms rest on the armrest of his camping chair, my cider swinging like a pendulum in my hand.
"What?" I whisper, making sure that I'm loud enough for him to hear me.
His mouth opens and then hesitantly lingers open as if he's struggling to produce the words and patiently, I wait. When this goes on for far too long, my gaze awkwardly bounces around.
"I'm sorry for inviting Jodie without consulting you," he mutters so quietly that I almost don't hear him and even as I process his words, they don't really register. I'm still not used to hearing him apologise. "In my mind, it didn't really seem like a big deal until it was, but I can understand why you'd be upset about it."
"I mean, maybe I did overreact a bit. I don't think it's Jodie I had a problem with. It was more so Savannah tagging along."
"So, you don't mind that I invited Jodie?"
My gaze wavers over to her and I find her laughing along with Taylor and Savannah. Then I look back at him and I say, "I mean, I mind a little bit, but also I'd be a total hypocrite if I remained vexed at you over that considering I invited people without your knowledge."
"Yeah, you caught me off guard with that."
"If you were caught off guard, imagine my surprise at seeing Savannah."
"I didn't invite Savannah. I know how you feel about her, and I wouldn't do that to you," he says adamantly.
Slowly, I nod my head. I believe him. He'd gain nothing from inviting her to our camping trip.
"I was just as shocked to see Jodie pulling up with her, and when I tried to talk her out of it, she said it'd be too rude to turn her back. I mean, I have no problem being rude, but…"
Softly, I chuckle in amusement and his eyes shine with the very same feeling of hilarity before he takes another sip of his cider to hide the smile twitching on his lips. I mimic his actions.
The tension that was once hanging over our heads dissipates, and it feels normal between us again. Well, whatever I can classify as normal.
I have no idea what we are to each other. I know that we aren't just friends and that we both have feelings for each other, I guess, but what are we going to do about it? I should really be asking myself that more than anyone. After all, I only have control over my actions, not his. So, what am I going to do about my feelings for him?
"By the way, where did you go yesterday?" he asks.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, when we went canoeing you disappeared."
I look down to contemplate what to say. I try not to stumble over my words, "Well, it turns out that my canoe partner, he can't swim so… I don't know, I guess he just fell in the lake and started to drown, and I dove in to save him from dying and I just decided afterwards that canoeing wasn't such a good idea anymore."
"Oh, fair."
"What? Did I miss out on much?"
"No, not really. I don't think anyone enjoyed themselves to be fair. Especially your friend, Damien. The moment we made it back on shore he immediately jumped out of the boat and ran away."
I laugh again.
"Your marshmallow's on fire, by the way." He sounds too calm for that to be true, but still, I glance over at my marshmallow.
In shock, I pull the stick away from the bonfire and quickly bring the marshmallow up to put the fire out by blowing on it. Irritably, I scowl at the charred mess on the tip of the stick. I don't think that will taste good squashed in between two biscuits. When he makes a comment about me having the attention span of a peanut, I playfully hold the burned marshmallow up to his mouth and he rears his head back, gently pushing my hand down.
Across from me, I look over at Savannah and Kai who are sitting there, and I don't miss how often she is laughing at almost everything he says and does. I mean, he is pretty hilarious with his randomness, but there is no way he's that funny, right? Interestedly, I watch their interaction. When she subtly slides her hand up and down his arm, I can't help but frown irritably. I cannot tell if he knows what she's doing or if he's oblivious to her intentions. I cannot imagine him being so oblivious though.
What about what Sabina said to me this morning? Did I actually kiss him on that night? Why would he not mention that?
Before I am caught staring at them, I avert my gaze.
"Alright, people," Taylor exclaims while clapping and we all glance over towards her as she stands in the middle of the group. "I'm bored. How about we play a game together?"
"What kind of game?" Sabina asks, glancing up from her phone.
"Whatever. I don't care. Let's just do something together, anything. I'm bored out of my fucking mind."
"How about a game of never have I ever?"
"I don't think you've noticed, but one of us isn't drinking alcohol," Damien points out and the one who's not drinking alcohol glances up with his cheeks filled to the brim with marshmallows, blinking adorably.
"Yeah, but the rest of us are. Besides, he'll just munch on a marshmallow each time he needs to take a drink."
He wordlessly nods, holding his packet up and jiggling it in the air with a stiff grin. The rest of us just shrug indifferently.
With a perky, excited grin on her face, Taylor makes her way back to her camping chair. She's the first to start speaking, "Never have I ever shagged someone five years younger?"
We all visibly scrunch up our faces in both confusion and disgust. Fortunately, none of us take a sip of our ciders and I'm glad, because the judgemental part of me was peeking over the fence, prepared to transform the expression on my face. Anyone five years younger than us would be about thirteen and still in primary school. I don't know, it just seems a bit weird to first go out and seek said thirteen year old and date them, let alone shag one.
"You're so weird. Why the hell have you just jumped to sex with someone five years younger?" Jodie is the first to break the astonished silence with a question playing around my mind.
"I was trying to weed out the freaks. What would you have said?"
"Never have I ever shagged anybody, period."
I take a quick look around and the people I see taking a sip of their ciders are Edward and Damien, who I am not surprised about since Edward did tell us that he lost his virginity to his ex, and Damien wouldn't shut the fuck up about it the day after doing the deed with his girlfriend. The last two are both Sabina and Jodie. I don't know why I am startled by the fact that Savannah did not drink her beverage, but I expected her, more than anyone, to have the highest body count. I also notice that Kai munched on a marshmallow.
"Alright, who wants to go next?"
"I'll go next," Sabina volunteers, and she shrugs her hair over her shoulder in preparation. "Never have I ever lied about my age."
This time, Savannah is the only one who reaches for her drink. When we all look at her for clarification, she reluctantly explains, "There was this guy I was really into and he used to hang out at this bar, but I was seventeen at the time and he was a bit older, so I lied about my age to get in the bar. It didn't even matter, because he wasn't even there that day."
"Alright, Vannah, it's your turn."
"Okay," she explicitly turns around to face me and says, "Never have I ever lied to my best friend about having feelings for their boyfriend."
"Okay, that feels oddly targeted," I mutter under my breath before taking a sip of my cider, scrunching up my face at the little burn that scratches the back of my throat. To move away from that instantly, I clear my throat and say, "Never have I ever lied to the police."
Through the fire, I watch Kai who takes a marshmallow out of its bag and quickly pops it in his mouth. That doesn't catch me off guard. It makes sense that he has lied to the police, especially because of what he used to do with his brother, stealing from convenience stores and whatnot. Was he involved in the thieving or was it just his brother, I cannot quite remember.
Through the corner of my eye, I also catch Richard who tips his bottle back and I wonder when he had the time to put his Nintendo Switch down and lie to the police. Even before, he was on the game. Sabina had to take it from him.
"Damien, you go next," Taylor says.
"Oh, Okay. I mean, how are you just gonna put me on the spot like that? Uh, never have I ever smoked a spliff."
Again, the heterochromatic-eyed boy hesitantly reaches into his bag of marshmallows and subtly puts it in his mouth. When he feels my gaze on him, he slowly chews on the marshmallow and then his gaze wavers away.
"Dominic, you haven't taken a single sip," Jodie points out.
It's true. He hasn't. I mean, to be fair, I wouldn't have taken a drink of my cider either if I wasn't specifically targeted by Savannah.
"I'm beat," he says dismissively and stands up in preparation to leave. When he looks down at me, he asks, "You coming?"
"Oh, I was hoping I could hang out for a bit."
Understandingly, he nods and then clinks his bottle against mine before walking away from the group.
"This is boring, I'm gonna head back to the lodge." Jodie also hurriedly stands up and when she heads in the opposite direction to the lodge, I squint at her retreating form suspiciously.
"Well, if everyone's leaving, then so am I," Damien says.
Savannah stands up. "By the way, don't think I didn't notice that you guys sneaked into the jacuzzi even after I told you to stay out."
"Taylor let us in."
"How are you gonna throw me under the bus like that?" Taylor exclaims incredulously and then over her shoulder, she wishes me a good night.